I was late to school this morning because I decided to poo. And when I was done, I fell asleep on the toilet.

I had to choose this morning, whether to poo and be late so my mum would have to drive me to school, or to drive in and poo at school.

I chose the former. It was a good decision.

I'm on a diet. Yesterday I found out that my diet is working when my trousers kept falling down. It's annoying trying to dance and have a decent night out when you keep worryig that your kacks will soon be around your ankles.

Oh yeah, and running for the bus was not a good decision.

Meh. I need to buy a belt.

I had an ingrown hair in my armpit for about 2 weeks. It looked like a really bad pimple and was all full of puss, everytime I tried to dig in and pluck the hair out I couldn't get to it! I finally got it out today (after digging around and getting alot of blood on my tweezers) and the hair was about half an inch long and all curly. Ew.

I've recently figured out that my health is inversely perportionate to my stress level. Evidence: I just got dumped, I'm now a site manager and work with idiots, I spent all afternoon promoting a local band (not easy), the admissions department at UNF is full of morons and one of my bandmates has been AWOL for days. That said, I have been coughing up gnarly amounts of mucus, I have chills, I just got a mad case of the runs and I think I'm going to hurl.

This isn't the first time something like this has happened, BTW. Thank God I didn't go to the after-party.

I just puked red.

That's true for most people. A lot of research has gone into examining the effects of stress on health.

Anywho. I can't remember if I posted this here...I'm too exhausted from homework marathons to figure it out. I had another menstrual explosion, recently. I was sitting on the kitchen floor, playing with the dog, and my mom says "Uh, Candice? You started your period. Did you know this?" I, in fact, did not. It was a HUGE mess, and I have absolutely NO idea how I didn't realize it was there. Normally I have at least some clue! Anyway, thank goodness for spray 'n wash, because otherwise those jeans would still have a stain that was the size of a small child (possible overstatement...but it was still huge!)

Just wanked and now I have to pee.

That's not a very good one, but it's all I got.

Last week I ate something that did not agree with me and in my rush to the bathroom I didnt make it. I had wet poo dripping down my right leg all the way to my socks.

Threw the socks and undies away!

Dear God, that is the only thing that I've ever read in this thread that has made me feel genuinely ill. *barfs*

My body reacts strongly to coffee (since its a diaretic and all) Yesterday we had a breakfast party in my 1st period class, so I ate a peice of cake, a bagel, a doughnut, and a bowl of cereal.... Then topped it all off with some Coffee....

About an hour later I was running to the bathroom, and by the time I left everyone that walked in was like "OH MY GOD IT _SMELLS_ IN HERE!"

Hehe....

When you get them out of the packet, condoms look like penis sombreros.

Hahaha that's a great comparison and true.

I pooped more than usual today.

Occasionally I'll poo out something too big or too dry for my poor little butt hole and it'll start to bleed. It can take me up to an hour to get the bleeding to stop so I can get up and not stain my panties.

It happened when I woke up today, actually.

Eep! I don't bleed, but I hate when a good poo is ruined by pain when something won't come out.

I kissed a 5 ft inflatable monkey yesterday and today I will probably tie him back up to a light post. Yay for monkey bondage.

Someone wouldn't let me draw on eyes and take a picture

It's been about 24 hours since the bleeding poo and I'm still bleeding every time I go to the restroom. Apparently it's cracking the scab every time I sit down on the toilet.

The bleeding is making me eat way more than I normally do. I'm chugging down iron pills, too. Gods damn anemia.

Awww. Withdraw privilidges until he does?

Also, have you ever unrolled one and inflated it - they're hilarious. Especially if they have those little raised "stimulating" dots/ribs on

Hehehehehe... I think you may now be blamed for "giving her ideas".

Haha sombreros i never thought of that!
Condoms are hillarious of you blow them up. This one time me and some friends Blew some up and stuck them all to the side of the condom/ tampon machine in a public bathroom with cheiwng gum and a couple of elastic bands (in bunches like party balloons). When we had finished hey looked good, brightened up the feel of the place you know?
It really was very amusing

My brother got his wee wee pierced (a ten-guage Prince Albert) the other day when we were in Pennsylvania ("I got a PA in PA!"). THe aftercare is horrible. The first day he bled a lot and pissed all over himself at our cousins' place. He described the bandages he took off as resembling a used menstral pad and never let us hear the end of how blood was coming out of his penis.

At least my lebret piercing isn't all that bad and it's a lot easier to take care of.

After four days of abstinance, I finally masturbated.

It went everywhere.

Hehehe- the deed has been done
Although I did meet him half way on it- he got something in return. You have to humour geeks.

A BLOW JOB WHILE ONLINE GAMING1111

Wouldn't that result in heads getting whacked on tables?

...Some joke about laptops...

No. Swivelly chair and keyboard to one side. Although he did elbow me in the face, but that was a completely different time and could have been when inebriated. I forget.

I once got very aroused in a Chemistry class whilst day dreaming and left a damp patch on the stool.

I have period pain. Really badly. To the extent I have been throwing up a lot this morning. And the accompanying period is horriffic, and probably will be all through my exams next week.

Woe to ye who take the pill to control this sort of thing then take it for 2 months solid because you don't want your period at a party! Woe!

Wow there you two. I'm not a blow job person.

Never leave all the "stuff" at one person's house, because then when you go to the other's person's house unexpectedly you can't have as much fun...

I hate the pimples that are right next to your nose in that little fold thing. They hurt. I have really bad pimple-popping compulsions that the poor boyfriend has to bear and I have to stop myself from getting some of his. ._.

The delivery guy was an hour late with our Chinese today. Since delivery guys have a history of coming at inopportune moments, Randy and I decided to get frisky and see if that would make him show. We had enough time for a 20 minute blowjob with doggy-style sex after. He was so late we had enough time to get dressed before he finally came.

Tee hee.

TMI---I used a Portapotty this morning (pre-coffee) and happened to glance down after finishing to see someone else's enormous pile of feces (obviously post-coffee). Like a disgusting pile a horse would leave--all the same color, not even in cohesive turds but a slop-consistency mound. I added a little vomit to the pile and then quickly left.

There has been a good amount of showing of penises and scrotems at my house (especially since my brother got that damn Prince Albert). It's getting bad to where the guys are sealing each other's camera phones and digi cams to suprise their unsuspecting friends with a a backround of Matt's weiner or a memory card full of pictures of Jay's balls.

I need new friends.

Have you seen the film Waiting...? You would find it extremely relevant!

Me and Wyvern found out today that apparently the smell on your eyeball burning is a lot worse than the smell of badly burning your finger tips which is also aparently a pretty bad smell.
We decided this was definatly TMI

Ouch!

I hacked up a half-cup of mucus this morning. I measured.

I think I find the idea of you measuring the amount nastier the the mucus.

I find the idea that people drink out of the same cups even more disturbing.

Not anyone I know. It was a measuring cup, like a plastic one you would put flour in if making a cake. And yes, gross.

No current TMIs, sadly.

Yes, I have actually. It did nothing but make our passtime of showing each other our genitals worse. My friend's girlfriend complains that she has seen too many of his friends' penises. She's up to like five or six.

As as for re-using glasses, my brother (pictured left) has a glass whose sole purpose is to soak his wee wee in saline solution (our piercings are about two and a half weeks old). One morning I went to take my pills and almost sucked down a mouthful of my brother's cock water.

My friend's girlfriend told me he has problems climaxing. I really didn't want to know this.

I was at a garage sale the other day, and this rug had white hard stuff all over it.

Not white hard stuff?!

My cat is masturbating. That isn't a metaphor either.

I will probably regret this, but why were you burning eyeballs?

A friend got his eye's lazered.

Not Oscar!?

Yes. When Lizzy washes herself, it sounds like someone masturbating; when Oscar washes, he does actually masturbate.

Cats seem to do that a lot. My cat used to hump my pillow. And my real-cat size toy leopard when I was about 12

TMI: I have an infectedspot/split on my lip, which I just pulled a nice dried crust of pus off of.

I got a sunburn and now the skin on my shoulders is peeling. WHich all in all isn't that gross, but when you get bored and start peeling it off and trying to see what the biggest peice you can peel off is.... that gets kind of gross. Along with cleaning up the pile of skin....

Also.... the elastic in my underwear is coming out of the casing.... luckilly I'm not allergic, but I need new undies!

I really have to poo right now. But I can't. We have no running water.

Really gots to poo.