I am currently in a long distance relationship (Sunday 9th is my 1year anniversary). I met the guy over the net but it was through a mutual friend, so i have to stress that it didnt HAVE to be a net meetup, that part was just the randomness of life.

Most of the people who saw me arrive on this board will know how much me and my guy mean to each other- im not gonna start a long description but suffice to say I know hes everything to me, he is my whole world. My best friend is also in an internet relationship, although the guy lives a 10 minute drive away in her case.

As it happens, my family are rlly great bout me and him, theyre supportive, let him use the spare room when he comes down, take me up to see him etc, but some other people have been less than supportive because "long distance relationships and internet relationships never last" and "cant you get someone whos seen you first"

I know there are sound reasons for people saying these things but it makes me so angry, because as far as i can see the only problems these relationships suffer are the normal problems of any relationsip, and if one relationship lasts longer than another, i rlly find it hard to believe that the problem which caused the break up would not have happened had the people met a different way.

Would you like to have your loved ones taken away from yousimply because there was more than 10 miles between you?

edit: btw i know that being far away from someone is hard and can be a problem in a relationship, but i consider this to be a whole new problem caused by circumstance, not a factor in other problems

Distance is always the real test of a realtionship. For the most part an internet relationship start without one knowing what the other looks like, this is a major difference to the real life situation (why is it called real life when its not on the internet? is the internet somehow fictional?), and of course you can't just lay there gropeing, fondling and kissing each other so it comes down to conversation, and this is where internet relationships and friendships have the advantage. Just speaking to someone is a lot more meaningful, you learn more about them. If you can survive just like that, knowing that you have affectionate feelings for this person and knowing this person has the same feelings for you I see nothing wrogn with the concept. Of course there are two obvious weaknesses, the first being that there's an awful lot of trust involved, and lets face it, it's very easy to lie over the internet, the second, and people may think I'm shallow for thinking this, but there HAS to be a physical side to a realitionship at one time, there always has to be a physical attraction no matter how great the personality.

Now that I've waffled on for a little....(it always looks more when i write it) If give you grief about it, thats all they can do, they can't force you to give up on a realationship, thats your choice alone

I agree with most of what SPS says.

It's not that long distance relationships have any more problems then if you lived around the corner from each other - you just have different problems. Things like insecurity and trust could possibly be a bigger problem (I don't care what anyone says - very few people trust their partner 100%). The scope for infidelity is obviously higher also.

I had a long distance relationship once and I loved it, although possibly for the wrong reasons. I had my boyfriend who I saw every three weeks, had my security and snuggles. But, when he wasn't around I was free to explore other people. I quite literally had the best of both worlds. Understandably, the relationship was doomed to fail once he wanted to make it a little more exclusive but I enjoyed the time we had together. *shrug*

Bottom line is - it takes all sorts to make a relationship work. There's no standard formula you have to follow for relationship success. It's either meant to be or not.

It's good to be close to people from other places, but sometimes, I think long-distance relationships hurt. You can hardly see the person, and, like what was said by Snugglebum, you don't know what's going on when that person's online. I know that's not a very happy thought, so I'm sorry. And it must hurt your heart that when you need him, he can't always be there. But he really loves you, so I'm pretty sure he'd never hurt you or leave you in the dark.

Of course long distance/internet relationships are hard. Anything that is worth having in the end isn't easy.

I met my husband online about...oh...5 years ago. We've now been married almost 3 years (been together IRL for 4). Our story is the exception, though. I know a ton of people who were in Internet relationships and ended up splitting up...but can only think of three other couples I know who met online and are still together. The odds are against you...but you obviously really care about each other, so just try to ignore the people who say it can't possibly work. I know I had to..blegh.

I'm in one right now and it's the second one I've ever been in. Things are more precious and the distance tests your ability to love which can show how great the other person is. I've learned that it takes a lot of loyalty, fidelity and deep serious love to be in a good relationship online.

What I have to say is that if you have faith in your relationship and if you keep constantly your eyes wide open then you have nothing to worry about.Long distance relationships have a bad ending most of the times but this doesn't mean that there can't be any exceptions.Afterall it's up to you and your boyfriend whether it's gonna last or not,isn't it? My best friend had an internet relationship for two years,they were like 22 hours away but guess what,after two years she went and moved in his house,at his city and now after 5 years (in total) together they're getting married!So,I guess there's always hope for everyone out there,but only if you are carefull and absolutely sure of what do you do

I'm currently in one ( at Snoo) thanks to these forums actually (cheers Mata!). Fortunately for us, it's only long distance when Snoo's in Nottingham during term time. The rest of the time, she's only about 15 minutes drive away

I think relationships that start long distance are more likely to fare better than those that start by 'conventional' means and then turn into long distance relationships later on, for whatever reason. Dealing with the trust, commitment and the lack of cuddles to start with is a hell of a lot easier than having it for a while only to have all the frequent contact and security pulled away suddenly.

Anyways, Snoo's back home next Tuesday until September, so I'll be happy all summer

Long distance relationships can work... after all, that's how Artemesia and I started. And, we do have the example of Candice.

However, I hate to be a pessimist, but sometimes a person offline and a person online can be two very different people. I personally know my personality does a very large shift when I'm online than when I'm offline. I mean, I'm still *me,* but I'm presenting a different side of myself to the world. That's where the danger lies, I think. You can fall in love with the online person and then discover they're quite different offline. Add this to the inherrent difficulties of long-distance relationships, and you've got yourself a possible conundrum. I think we're mostly all familiar with examples of this -- LoLo's craptastic boyfriend comes to mind.

So, I think the odds are against you, but if you can make it work, if you meet offline and you still can love the offline person as much as the online person, then all the more power to you.

Also, love sometimes requires that you learn to... well, for lack of a better term... "tolerate" the other person. No relationship is perfect, and you have to learn to accept the quirks of the other person and love them all the more. Everyone has their own personal offline "issues," that may not be apparent online. You have to learn to deal with these and overcome them, or the relationship just won't work.

(Hmm. I'm sometimes overly pragmatic.)

Naw. You're right. It can be a pure Platonic love you hold for each other, but in the end, if you're not doin' the nasty, it's pretty hard to solidy a relationship. After all, psychologists tell us that sex strengthens the family bond, and is probably why we associate so much love with the mating mechanism.

Its true, some people are different online to offline, but having met up with (and, incidentally, done at least some of the nasty with ) my guy several times I have to say that not everyone is. Also, I very much agree that there needs to be a physical side to a relationship. I just think that even in a living close relationship it cant all be physical, and i do believe the long distance thing can work out.

I met my last boyfriend at a christian camp and we hit it off straight away. He lives 60miles away from each other, but we would txt each other and phomne each other everyday. We went out for 15months, and it was great.