Here's how it works: Recite the quote. Name the character (if known). Name the actor (if known). Then name the movie.

For instance:

"What the Hell's wrong with you, Ryan? Your girlfriend's out humpin' the whole damn town."
-Don Vito, himself, Haggard.

"Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you gonna bite?"
-Mr. Blonde, Michael Madsen, Reservoir Dogs.

"This job would be great if it wasn't for the f*cking customers"
-Randal Graves, Jeff Anderson, Clerks.

Here, you guys try.

actually me and my sister every now and again will say a line from a movie and the other has to guess what movie it came from.

Okay. I'll edit and put the Actors names later, but i'm at school and can't get em--but i found nifty quotes!

"Tonight, you pukes will sleep with your rifles. You will give your rifle a girl's name, because this is the only pussy you people are going to get. Your days of finger-banging ol' Mary Jane Rottencrotch through her pretty pink panties are over! You're married to this piece. This weapon of iron and wood. And you will be faithful!"
--Sargent Hartman, ---, Full Metal Jacket


"God has a hard-on for Marines. Because we kill everything we see."
--Sargent Hartman, ---, Full Metal Jacket

"How can you shoot women and children?"

"Easy... you just don't lead 'em so much."
--Joker and the Gunner, --- & ---, Full Metal Jacket

"'I f*ck arses'? Who f*cks arses? Maybe he f*cks arses!"
"I", Paul McGann, Withnail & I

"When nine hundred years old you reach, look as good you will not."
Yoda, Frank Oz, Return of the Jedi

Thought of another one I had to share.

Withnail: "On the way there, I want to stop and pick up a child."
I: "What on earth do you want a child for?"
Withnail: "To tutor it in the ways of righteousness. And procure some uncontaminated urine."

From Withnail & I, Withnail is Richard E. Grant, "I" is Paul McGann.

"Like a monkey ready to be shot into space.......Space Monkey!"
Tyler Durden, Brad Pitt, Fight Club

"Oh heavens no, not the green one. Anyone but the green one."
Again, Tyler Durden, Brad Pitt, Fight Club

"The Lord says He can get me out of this mess, but I think you're f*cked "
(or something long those lines)
The Irish Bloke, ???, Braveheart

the one quote i over-quote is:

"Meiling, we've had this discussion" from Cruel Intentions
Twas Sarah Michelle Gellar who said it!

also, classic Monty Python

"Ee's not the Messiah, ee's a very naughty boy"

from The Life of Brian

*leaves before he goes all insane and quotes people to death

Fal xXx

Monty python classics!

"How do we know if she's made out of wood?" "Build a bridge out of her!"

"Look at you, you stupid b*stard, you've got no arms left!" - King Arthur

"What is your name? ... What is your quest? ... What is your favorite color?" - Decrepit old bridge guy

"I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

"That makes me angry, and when Dr. Evil gets angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset....people DIE!"
Dr.Evil/Mike Myers/Austin Powers


"I'm the Dude so that's what you call me..ya know ah, that or his Dudeness or duder or El Dudereno if you're not into the whole brevity thing."
Jeffery Lebowski/Jeff Bridges/The Big Lebowski


"Surely you can't be serious!"

"I am serious. And don't call me Shirley."
Ted Striker & Dr. Rumack/Robert Hayes & Leslie Neilson/Airplane


"How many arseholes do we have on this ship anyhow?."

"YO!"

"I knew it! I'm surrounded by arseholes! Pulls down facemask) Keep firing arseholes!"
Dark Helmet & Crew/Rick Moranis/Spaceballs

"You have the ring. And I see your schwartz is as big as mine."
Dark Helmet/Rick Moranis/Spaceballs

"Don't mess with the bull young man, you'll get the horns."
Richard Vernon/Paul Gleason/The Breakfast Club

"Don't worry, Cindy! We'll pretend this never happened, like the time we got drunk and went down on each other!"
Buffy Gilmore/Shannon Elizabeth/Scary Movie


"Look, if it's about that time I got drunk and masturbated with a crucifix, it was my first keg party, alright?"
Cindy Campbell/Anna Faris/Scary Movie

Here's my interesting menagerie of quotes. Go me.

Guy: "You know what I don't understand?"
Romana: "I expect so."
-Romana from Doctor Who.

"LLAMA FACE!! LLAMA FAAAAAAACE!"
-Emperor Kuzco from Disney's Emperor's New Groove

ANYTHING Megara says in Disney's Hercules. Greatest. Disney. Heroine. EVER.

"Inserting breakfast pastry.....start warming the syrup// Put more science stuff around and make more Flash Gordon noises"

-All from one scene in Mystery Science Theatre 3000 The Movie (does anyone else think it was kind of redundant to make a movie of this show? GREAT movie, but still....)

"It's my party mix. $3000 of Uppers, Downers, and Candy Corn"
"Come on, Poodle, I'll go buy you some happy."
"Honey, what's this, what's happening, what's going on here?"
"Come on Jack! Do you know how much *moaning groaning* Oh Stan oh Stan YES I had to do to get this money?"

-Various Karen Quotes from Will and Grace

I have more, but I'm too tired to think of them

Worst movie quote ever:

"Bad dog." - said by Gena Davis playing a pirate captain in "Cutthroat Island." It's bad because she says it while lighting a canon aimed directly at her evil uncle, whose name is "Dawg" (dog) at point-blank range. Classic pirate flick though!!!!

"We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like 'I feel a bit light headed, maybe you should drive', then suddenly the sky was filled with huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas."

-Johnny Depp's character, Raol Duke, out of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas... although I think they got Hunter S. Thompson to do the voice over bits... so it might be him. If not Depp does a fine voice double.

"Desire huh? What the f*ck does that mean? Does that mean youinto dudes with sh*tty long hair? Maybe he'll take you out back. You'll rub his sick crotch. He'll stick his hand down your pants. Menwhile your boyfriend's at home jerkin' off to f*cking gay porn!"
-Ry, Ryan Dunn aka Random Hero, Haggard

"You're not a poof, are you?"
-- Young Billy to his best mate, -----, Billy Elliot

"Dodge this."
-- Trinity, Carrie-Ann Moss, The Matrix

[Sung] "We resemble but are legally differentiated from the Lollipop guild, the Lollipop guild..."
The munchkins, ---, Futurama Season 3- Anthology of Interest part 2

Jen :"What? You can fly? I dont have wings!"
Kira:"Of course not, silly! You're a boy!"
Jen + Kira, err... theyre puppets, The dark crystal

And its not technically a film, but:

"Do we have any nutters in the audience tonight?"
<cheers from crowd>
"You see, thats a good sign. Your genuine nutter doesnt politely stick their hand up and say <polite english accent> ah, nutter, over here! Nah, they just hold up a dead chicken and say <growling "alien voice"> I am Dolphin Boy!"
-- Bill Baily, Himself, Bewilderness (live in swansea)

How could anyone forget?

Jesse: "Dude, where's my car?"
Chester: "Dude, where is your car?"
Jesse: "Dude, where's my car?"

...and repeat...

"Dude, what does mine say?"
"Sweet. What does mine say?"
"Dude. What does mine say?"
"Sweet. What does mine say?"
"Dude. What does mine say?!"
"Swwweeeeeet. What..does..mine..say?!"

I think we get the idea...

Jesse and Chester, Dude where's my car?

"I don't tip because society says I have to. Alright, I mean I'll tip if somebody really deserves a tip, if they really put forth the effort, I'll give 'em something extra, but I mean this tipping automatically is for the birds. I mean, as far as I'm concerned, they're just doing their job."
-Mr. Pink, Steve Buscemi, Reservoir Dogs

Commiekins darling I don't know why your quoting Withnail and I. All you need to say was 'the whole of Withnail and I' cause there are damn to many quotable quotes in that film! 'Excuse me we seem to have come on holiday by mistake!'


Flash I love you but we only have 14 minutes to save the world!
the girl in Flash Gondon


It's all in the Mind!
One of the beattles in the Yellow Submarine

I have other but cant remember them so MEH!

Can't quote it exactly (which kinda defeats the object of me posting at all but...)

'Snooty. Little. Bitch. Put her in your spank bank and move on'

I haven't a clue which film I got it from - I believe it has Jack Black in it though. If anyone can remember where I heard this, it would be much appreciated.

It sucks when you can't remember where you got your favourite quote from.

"I know what this is about - you want an abortion!"


"It's alright, I speak Jive."


"What's our vector, Victor?"


"Looks like I picked a bad day to give up sniffing glue."


"The cockpit!? What is it!?

It's a small room at the front of the plane where the pilot sits, but that's not important right now."


"The hospital!? What is it!?

It's a large building with doctors and patients, but that's not important right now."


Ah, Airplane rocked my world.

Reservoir Dogs quotes:

"I don't wanna kill anybody, but if I gotta get out that door, and you're standing in my way, one way of the other, you're gettin' outta my way."
-Mr. Pink, Steve Buscemi

"I mean, everybody panics. Everybody. Things get tense. It's human nature, you panic. I don't care what your name is. You can't help it. F*ck, man, you panic on the inside, in your head, you know? You give yourself a couple of seconds. You get ahold of the situation. You deal with it. "
-Mr. Pink, Steve Buscemi

"Where's the commode in this dungeon? I got to take a squirt."
-Mr. Pink, Steve Buscemi

"You push that woman/man thing too long and it gets to you after a while."
-Mr. White, Harvey Keitel

"We had just gotten away from the cops. He just got shot. It was my fault he got shot. He's a f*cking bloody mess. He's screaming. I swear to God, I thought he was going to die right then and there. I'm trying to comfort him, telling him not to worry, everything will be Okay. I'm gonna take care of him. And he asked me what my name was. I mean, the man was dying in my arms. What the f*ck was I supposed to do?! Tell him I'm sorry?! I can't give out that f*cking information! It's against the rules! I don't trust you enough! Well, maybe I should've, but I couldn't!"
-Mr. White, Harvey Keitel

"If you keep talking like a bitch then I'm gonna slap you like a bitch."
-Mr. Blonde, Michael Madsen

sounds like Saving Silverman maybe?

"YOU TURNED ME INTO A LLAMA!!"

"You threw off my groove!"

*little squeaky keety-like voice* "IIII WIIIN!" - though that one only works if you can do the voice

Emperors New Groove, the keety one was Eethsma (sp?) The first two were the Emperor.... David Spade baby! And yeah.... Great movie.... gotta love it....

"Gravity is increasing on me!" When you fall on someone on purpose.... Nani from Lilo and Stitch

"YOU CANT FEED PUDGE TUNAA!!!" Lilo from Lilo and Stitch

"FLAUNT IT BABY, FLAUNT IT!!!" I think its from The Producers.... but I'm not sure....

"Sleep well and dream of large women" Cary Elwes, The Princess Bride....

"True love is the best thing in the world. Besides cough drops." The little magicy healer dude from The Princess Bride.... except in the movie it was MLT's.... mutton lettuce and tomatoe.... but screw the movie, the book was better. Oh and it was Miracle Max, he rules.

Well.... I'm done.... for now.... Sorry but I dont know actors names.... dont kill me!

"Inconcievable!"
Vincini, Wallace Shawn, Princess Bride


anything at all from Princess Bride.

Ohh - that's a good one - I love that film sooo much!!!

Good ol' predictable Juicey.
That film, and all quotes from that film > Stuff.

Boondock Saints:

Connor: Jesus. He brought a six-shooter.
Murphy: There's nine bodies, genius.
Connor: What the fuck were you going to do, laugh the last three to death, Funny-Man?

Doc: You know what they say: People in glass houses sink sh... sh... sh... ships.
Rocco: I got to buy you a proverb book or something, because this mix 'n' match shit's got to go.
Doc: What?
Connor: Well, a penny saved is worth two in the bush, is'nt it?
Murphy: And don't cross the road if you can't get out of the kitchen.

Rocco: I killed your cat, you druggie bitch.
Donna: What? Why?
Rocco: I thought it would bring closure to our relationship.

Detective Duffy: This was their target, the fag-man.
Paul Smecker: The what-man?
[awkward pause]
Detective Duffy: The fat man.
Paul Smecker: Well, well. Freud was right.

Connor: These decent men with loving families, they go home every day after work, and turn on the news and you know what they see? They see rapists and murderers and child molestors and they're all getting' out of jail.
Murphy: "Mafiosos," getting' caught with 20 kilos, getting' out on bail. Same fucking day.
Connor: And everyone, everywhere thinks the same thing: that someone should just go kill those mother fuckers.
Murphy: Kill 'em all. Admit it, even you've thought about it.

Connor: Now you will receive us.
Murphy: We do not ask for your poor, or your hungry.
Connor: We do not want your tired and sick.
Murphy: It is your corrupt we claim.
Connor: It is your evil that will be sought by us.
Murphy: With every breath, we shall hunt them down.
Connor: Each day we will spill their blood, 'til it rains down from the skies.
Murphy: Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace.
Connor: These are not polite suggestions, these are codes of behavior, and those of you that ignore them will pay the dearest cost.
Murphy: There are varying degrees of evil. We urge you lesser forms of filth, not to push the bounds and cross over, into true corruption, into our domain.
Connor: For if you do, one day you will look behind you and you will see we three, and on that day you will reap it.
Murphy: And we will send you to whatever god you wish.

I think we all saw it coming Alan

Ok, what about:

Still predictable... at least it ain't the opening line like the last one.


Dr Gonzo: Here's your half of the sunshine acid. Eat it.

Duke: How long do I have?

Dr Gonzo: As your attorney I advise you to drive at top speed, it'll be a goddamn miracle if we can get there before you turn into a wild animal.

Are you ready for that? Checking into a Vegas hotel under a phoney name with intent to commit capital fraud on a head full of acid? I sure hope so.

Isn't that the geeky guy from 'Ten things I hate about you' ?? I only remember because I watched it yesterday.

I'm not sure, but I do remember a phrase like that in 10 Things I Hate About You. I don't remember the Snooty Little B*tch part though.

All from Silence of the Lambs:

Hannibal Lecter: A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Hannibal Lecter: First principles, Clarice. Read Marcus Aurelius. Of each particular thing ask: what is it in itself? What is its nature? What does he do, this man you seek?
Clarice Starling: He kills women...
Hannibal Lecter: No! That is incidental. What is the first and principal thing he does, what need does he serve by killing?
Clarice Starling: Anger, social resentment, sexual frustration...
Hannibal Lecter: No, he covets. That's his nature. And how do we begin to covet, Clarice? Do we seek out things to covet? Make an effort to answer.
Clarice Starling: No. We just...
Hannibal Lecter: No. Precisely. We begin by coveting what we see every day. Don't you feel eyes moving over your body, Clarice? And don't your eyes move over the things you want?

Hannibal Lecter: Now then, tell me. What did Miggs say to you? Multiple Miggs in the next cell. He hissed at you. What did he say?
Clarice Starling: He said, "I can smell your c--t."
Hannibal Lecter: I see. I myself cannot. You use Evian skin cream, and sometimes your wear L'Air du Temps - but not today.

Hannibal Lecter: Tell me, Senator: did you nurse Catherine yourself?
Senator Ruth Martin: What?
Hannibal Lecter: Did you breast-feed her?
Sen. Martin's Aide: Now wait a minute...
Senator Ruth Martin: Yes, I did.
Hannibal Lecter: Toughened your nipples, didn't it?
Sen. Martin's Aide: You son of a bitch!
Hannibal Lecter: Amputate a man's leg and he can still feel it tickling. Tell me, ma'am, when your little girl is on the slab, where will it tickle you?
Senator Ruth Martin: Take this... *thing* back to Baltimore!
Hannibal Lecter: Five foot ten, strongly built, about a hundred and eighty pounds; hair blonde, eyes pale blue. He'd be about thirty-five now. He said he lived in Philadelphia, but he may have lied. That's all I can remember, ma'am, but if I think of any more, I will let you know. Oh, and Senator, just one more thing: love your suit!

Goddamn I love that film! Lecter is played by Anthony Hopkins, a brilliant actor in his best role, Starling by Jodi Foster, and Senator Martin by Diane Baker.

Not only is Hopkins a good actor, he's a rather accomplished conductor.

By the way...

You, sir, have lines from an Alabama 3 track in your signature, and I claim my five pounds.

And you, sir, are - as I believe I may have mentioned before - a man of impeccable taste for recognising Alabama 3. That's worth a pint by my reckoning.

Saw them in concert a couple of weeks ago. Impressive live band, though wherever D. Wayne was it wasn't inside his skull.

Isn't that on soon? Or has it already been on and that's why you've posted this?
Tis one of my favourite films (and books).

[edit] *obligatory "Alabama 3 = yay" comment* [/edit]

I don't know if it has been on/will be on, I don't watch TV. I have a video of it though, will probably watch it again soon. Maybe invite a friend around, who knows.

F--k damnation, f--k redemption, we are God's unwanted children. So be it!
Tyler Durden, Brad Pitt, Fight Club

Let's kill it quick before it tries to make friends with us
Withnail, Withnail & I. Though I would agree about just picking that whole damn film! Its so great!!!!!!!!!!!!

And Will?... Nice hat.
Cap'n Jack Sparrow, Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Carribbean

Kids, don't buy durgs. Become a pop star and they give you them for free!
Washed out rockstar, forgotten his name, but hes lovely, Bill Nighy, Love Actually


ALL TOGETHER NOW:
(I realise its not a film but it had to be said)
Blackadder: What is that?
Baldrick: I'm surprised you've forgotten my lord.
Bl: I haven't forgotten it's a rhetorical question!
Ba: Nah, it's a potato!

a victim... aren't we all?
Eric Draven, Brandon Lee, The Crow
Morphine is bad for you
Him again
Yeah, someone stabbed all his vital organs... In alphabetical order
some other guy in the Crow. Actually, can that go in the Withnail and I box for quotableness?

No! No more winging it! You have lost all your winging privileges!
Roy O'Bannon, Owen Wilson, Shanghai Noon

Puppy death! Kitten death! ANY KIND OF DEATH!
Hook, not sure on actor, the latest Peter Pan.

Macleane: one of the highwaymen acted in such a way that it is suspected he might be a gentleman...
Plunkett: Might, could be, but most definitely is, a tosser.
Robert Carlyle, Plunkett and Macleane. Also him:
Baddie: does that hurt?
Plunkett: Only when I laugh!

If i quote any more, I'm going to have convinced MYSELF that i have no life....

no, wait a sec-
KILL IT! KILL IT! no, STUN IT!
Icabart Crane (cant spell), Johnny Depp, Sleepy Hollow, on seeing a spider.

Prince John: and why should the people follow you?
Robin Hood; Because unlike CERTAIN OTHER Robin Hoods, I can speak with an english accent!
Cary Elwes, Men in Tights

Oh, and why hasnt anyone yet mentioned (join in everybody, not an exact quote in order to make sense but you must have seen it)
I can't marry you! Oh for Pete's sake Osgood... I'm a man!
Well, nobody's perfect.
Jack lemmon and his fiance, SOME LIKE IT HOT

sorry. i'm sad. I've been very impressed with the quotes other people have put though, everyone here has good taste!

(of goldfish:)
"Don't eat the green ones. They're not ripe yet."
-whatsisname the dumb american bugler, A Fish Called Wanda

"Life is pain, Princess. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something."
-Wesley, Cary Elwes, Princess Bride

"Buck Melonoma"
-Uncle Buck as he introduces himself to the Assistnat Principal at his niece Maisy's school.
John Candy / Uncle Buck / Uncle Buck

Macleane: "Congratulations, it's a girl"
Plunkett: "Yeah, we'll call her Ruby"
Johnny Lee Miller (Macleane) & Robert Carlyle (Plunkett) / Plunkett & Macleane

Lewis: "Who are you guys?"
Ray: "We're the Gostbusters."
Lewis: "Who pays your taxes?"
Rick Moranis (Lewis) & Dan Ackroyd (Ray) / Ghostbusters
(In fact any line out of either film woud do for quotes!)

"1.21 Gigawatts!!!!"
Christopher Lloyd / Doc / Back To The Future

"Feel The Stag..."
Sean Connery / Ramirez / Highlander

"May The Force Be With You"
Alec Guiness / Ben Kenobi / Star Wars: A New Hope

"My Precious!"
Andy Serkis / Gollum / The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy

"Put your faith in the Lord, your Ass belongs to me."
Bob Gunton / Warden Samuel Norton / Shawshank Redemption

"We're gonna need a bigger boat!"
Roy Scheider / Police Chief Martin Brody Jaws

Yey! Someone else who's seen that brilliant movie!

Gimli: No, no, no. You see female dwarves all the time! They just look so much like males you can't tell the difference!
ARAGORN: It's the beards.
Viggo Mortensen, Lotr The Two Towers

I like this game... dear me I'm sad.

I have to agree Plunket and Macleane is class! I love the bit with pox medicine!

"Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again! I dare you! I double-dare you motha f*cka! Say 'what' one more God damn time!"
-Jules, Samuel L. Jackson, Pulp Fiction

"Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children. Morphine is bad for you. Your daughter is out there on the streets, waiting for you."
-Eric Draven, Brandon Lee, The Crow

Oh God it's my flat mate. Theres absolutely no excuse for him.
Hugh Grant, Hugh Grant, Notting Hill

"Oh, you ready to blow? Well, I'm a mushroom cloud-layin' motha f*cka, motha f*cka. Everytime my fingers touch brain, I'm 'Superfly TNT.' I'm the guns of the Navarone."
-Jules, Samuel L. Jackson, Pulp Fiction

"When you came in here, did you notice a sign in the front off my house that said 'Dead Nigger Storage'? You know why you didn't see that sign? 'Cause it ain't there! 'Cause storing dead niggers ain't my f*cking business!"
-Jimmie, Quentin Tarentino, Pulp Fiction

"Sh*t yeah, Negro. That's all you had to say."
-Jules, Samuel L. Jackson, Pulp Fiction

Righteous, you just entered my good books for the rest of your life. From now on, you can do no wrong.

Beautiful quote, just beautiful! Just a shame about him dying on us!

Aww. Thanks Polo.

Twice I took a survey about which Pulp Fiction chacter I'd be. The first time said I'd be Butch and the second said I'd be Jules. I'd like to think of myself as a combination of the two.

"The rhine in spine stays minely in the pline"-Eliza Dolittle, Adruey Hepburn (my movie goddess), My Fair Lady (the best musical ever! followed closely by the broadway production of The Bird Cage ;.; don't know the french name for it)

Really hard to spell horribly spoken english.

I am sort of surprised nobody has said this one yet (I don't think):

"First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village, but the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living if you don't have a dick?"
Donnie in Donnie Darko, Jake Gyllenhaal



and

Dr. Thurman: "I once had an extended sexual fantasy involving Mr. Rogers."
Donnie's therapist, Deleted scene in Donnie Darko

"Are you ok?"
"I've been shot, of course not"
From one of the scream movies..... Have no idea who the actors, or character's name was.

"ohhh, I hate my own creation. Now I know how god feels."
Homer Simpson (one of the episodes.... not a movie but its good), The simpsons, dont know actor person.

"What now? Lemme tell you what now. I'ma call up some hard, pipe hittin' niggers to go to work on the homes here with a pair of pliars and a blowtorch. You hear that 'billy-boy? I'm gonna get medieval on your ass!"
-Marcellus Wallus, Ving Rhames, Pulp Fiction.

"Why the f*ck didn't you tell us someone was in the bathroom? Slip your mind? Did you forget that there was someone in there with a God damn hand-cannon?"
-Vincent Vega, John Travolta, Pulp Fiction

"Did you see the size of that gun he fired at us? It was bigger than him."
-Jules Winnfield, Samuel L. Jackson, Pulp Fiction

"Hate to shatter your ego, but this isn't the first time I've had a gun pointed at me."
-Jules Winnfield, Samuel L. Jackson, Pulp Fiction

"When you yell at me, it makes me nervous and when I get nervous, I get scared and when motherf*ckers get scared , that's when motherf*ckers accidently get shot."
-Jules Winnfield, Samuel L. Jackson, Pulp Fiction

Just saw this yesterday:

Woman: "Is that a gun in your pocket?"

Man : "No, it's my penis"

The Parole Officer, Steve Coogan, The Parole Officer

Snatch is probably my most favourite of films to quote:

"Well that certainly told him, Tommy"
"F*ck me, Tommy, what 'ave you been reading?"
Turkish

"Tyrone, you silly fat wanker."

Tommy: "What happens if they catch the rabbit?"
Turkish: "Then the rabbit gets f*cked, Tommy, don't it?"
Tommy: "What? Proper f*cked?"
Turkish: "Yes, Tommy. Proper f*cked. Before Ze Germans get here."

Doug the Head: "We've got beaches here, Avi."
Cousin Avi: "So? Who the f*ck wants to see them?"

Also:

"You said they were Nazi Youths! These are big Nazis!"
Eddie Izzard's character in All the Queen's Men