Yeah... can't think of a good way to introduce this topic but essentially it boils down to:

I know whatever age I get married at mum will be dead against it, so just out of curiosity, what do you guys think the "ideal" age for you is? (Or was )

16....... No not really but maybe like........ 19? 20? 21? 22? 23? 24? 25? 26? Somewhere in there? But doesn't some people get married at a certain age depending on their religion?

I say about 26 or higher, maybe a few years younger. College is over unless you are going for a Ph. D. or something, and by then you will have enough time to settle. Kids at thirty as the youngest.

Personally, I think that 24 is a good age to get married, you've been in college for about 5-6 years, and have gotten the majority of your wild oats out. and and then to have kids when you're 27, because you've gotten out of college and you've had three alone married years with your hubby, not to mention the dating and engagment years.

I'll be married when I'm 22, and Cand was married when she was... 19, I think? It really depends on the people involved, the situation, and such.

I usually think about mid-twenties, but it all varies depending on the people and the relationship.

I agree that older is probably best. Most personalities don't completely cement until at least age 23 - until then, you're risking binding yourself to someone who hasn't really figured out who they are and you very well might end up marrying someone else than who you thought you were. Also, the life-experience is helpful, so the more you have of that, the better luck you'll have...

But logic aside, I think about marriage all the time as to how it fits into my future. Being married during undergraduate work is a pain, from what I hear, so I know I'll be waiting until I graduate from that, which would be about age 22-23. Though I know that if I meet the right person before that, it'd be difficult to wait until then...

I'm a believer that it's really up to the person, that there is no "ideal" age. My folks were married then my mom was 21 and my dad was 31 and they've been together for over 20 years. My brother Rick and his girlfriend plan to get married shortly after they get out of high school (though "shortly" could mean a day or five years knowing them). Rick's girlfriend's folks were married at 17 and 20. My older sister's 24 and doesn't see marriage in her future for a long time. At 19, I'm really indifferent and don't put much thought into it. Whatever your bag is I guess.

Um...my "plan" used to be marry at 25, kids between 30 - 35, as I always planned on a professional career. I definitely want to be married for several years and have happy times with my husband- just the 2 of us- before having kids!!!!!!! But then Tigersong came along and wrecked the plan by a couple of years. Now, the plan is marry at 23, kids at 30 - 33, because he is right, women's fertility does have an ideal period, and after 30 you start running certain genetic and pregnancy risks.

And, if you feel a bit young to be doing full-out marriage right away, there's nothing wrong with a 2 or 3 year engagement! Gives you time to adjust to the idea and reconsider.

My simple idea is to not get married. Hurray for gays!

And I'm not flying over to Las Vegas.

I know a lot of gay folks who want to get married. Just because you're gay doesn't mean it's out of the question. I know straight folks that have lived with eachother for decades and never got married.

I don't think there's an "ideal" age, but if I were to get married I'd wait until my late twenties at least. I don't intend to have kids, though if I did I'd wait till I was thirty or so, and to me the thought of getting married really young is just a bit scary. Maybe it works for some people, but I know I wouldn't be ready for that kind of commitment at that age.

Yep, I was indeed married at 19. Barely 19, too. I turned 19 in April and got married that July. Same age my mom got married...and she and my dad just recently had their 25th anniversary.

I don't know...I never planned to get married so young. It just sort of happened due to the fact that we were going to live together anyway, and if we were married I only had to declare his and my income on my FAFSA. That sounds so unromantic, but it was definitely a factor in choosing the date we did. We talked about waiting until after my sister got back from Mexico (she spent a year there), but then we decided that since I wanted to get into school again ASAP, that was the most logical choice.

I like being married and doing my undergrad work...but it's definitely not for everyone. The plan is that I'm going to do my undergrad work while he supports me, then he's going to do his undergrad work while I support him. Kids aren't in the picture now at all. I don't know that they ever will be. *shrug*

People online are often very vocal about telling me that I was too young when I got married, and blah blah blah. Quite often when I tell people that I'm 22 and married, they still say "Married at 22?! You're so young!" But, like others have said...it really depends on the people involved and the situation. I tend to think that anything under 18 is probably too young regardless of who you are, though. That's just because at that age, you're still in high school and more than likely still dependent on your parents. I also think you should have some sort of adventure before you get married. My adventure was moving to NYC. I never wanted to date around a whole lot...so I don't regret any missed opportunities there. If I could do it all over again, I don't think I'd do it any differently (well, I'd change a few aspects of my wedding...like not inviting certain relatives but I'd still have it at the same age). My situation definitely isn't for everyone, though.

Oh, and if you get married young...be prepared for a few classless individuals to ask you if you "had" to get married. I just loved being asked if I was pregnant on my wedding day. That was great.

Personally, I dont think about marriage or children. i dont plan, i dont particularly want either but if they happen they happen.
I'm 17 now and my friends range in age from 14 to 26 and whenever any of them start talking about forever i have to stifle a laugh..i guess im a rather cynical person but i have a friend who was engaged twice by 16. the words marry me are thrown around far too easily.

i suppose some people are 'meant to be' but i still dont see the rush, the only reason id rush to get married is tax rebates!


My parents were married at 19 and 20..and they divorced nastily after 14 years. Marriage to me makes things permanent and if im not happy im not going to put up with anything so i dont want any pieces of paper making me more willing to stay unhappy.

I don't know. As of right now, I'm not planning on getting married. As immature as it sounds, I don't know if I can dedicate myself to a womn or man for life. Even as of right now, I have some doubts about my girlfriend and I staying together for much longer. If I am to marry, though, I want to get married around 32 or so.

But those are just my two cents.

I do want to wait though simply because I don't believe in divorce and don't want to get divorced so I really want it to be certain. A buddy of mine and I would joke about how I should wait until God speaks to me aloud about it.

(((RI.)))
...Yes Lord?
(((NOW IS THE TIME FOR YOU TO WED.)))
...Are you sure?

Just a bit of semi-relavant spam. Gay people can now legally get married in Canada. There are a number of opposed clergy though so you may have to research where you'll find one. Much brohaha about it in the news here and it's also on the topic list during upcoming election.

I'm throwing my two bits in with the depends on the people/on the relationship crowd. If you can't talk to your mate or fight fairly then it's probably not the right time.

Marriage? Nevar!


Not something I'm really into. Then again, it's early days. But marriage usually means kids at some point down the line, and I'd feel sorry for the little blighters to have me as a dad. More than that though, both would seriously tie me down, responsibility, even just to not die young, I don't need that man.

I've always been one to be able to talk things out in relationships, so I'd like to think I'd be a good husband in that department at least. I've also wanted to be a dad, but I'm afraid of having them be bipolar like me. I'd like to think that if I keep up my mellow pace, I'll be able to be a dad like Phil Margera (though I hope my kids aren't nearly as helacious as Bam).

When I was a wee bit younger, not too long ago, I didn't want to get married or have any kids. Maybe a signifcant other, but never marriage. Now, I've been around kids for months, and even though they drive me up the wall, it somehow made me all maternal (sp) and want kids. And it was stupid to what made me wanna get married. Buying furniture makes me wanna get married, and I've been helping my dad pick out furniture, and in the back of my head I'm like "I wonder how this would look in my house?" I think that'd be one the top three things about marriage, picking out furniture. Okay, but more along the topic, I think the youngest I'd go is 22 and the oldest is...well.. it doesn't really matter there.

I honestly don't know when I think I'd like to marry but mid-twenties at the latest. I fall in love very easily but don't fall out of love (or haven't so far). It's a rather unfortunate situation and I know I don't think clearly (ever) so...I'll probably end up scaring off every potential mate and end up a lonely spinster *sigh* oh well...damn insecurities...

I never really been a fan of marriage. I think it may be because my parents got divorced after 20 years and it just doesn't feel like it's worth it any more. I mean, it's not going to change the dynamics of my relationship. I've been engaged for two years with no moves to ACTUALLY arrange a wedding.

Apart from which - I really didn't want to have kids until after I was married. I felt that I couldn't honestly say that I felt fully grown up and ready for kids until I accept that I wanted to get married and be with one person for the rest of my life. Well, obviously, I've had a child out of wedlock and now getting married seems to be a bit like closing the stable door after the horse has bolted.

I suppose we'll get married eventually. Depends which bothers me more - losing my sirname forever or having a different sirname to my son?

That does sound callous, doesn't it?

My parents are really great and are a wonderful model (married: 21 and 28), but that's partly because they both grew up in such bizarre, scarring households that they get along fine just avoiding everything their parents did.

I like the idea of marriage, in theory (eventually; being legally old enough doesn't mean I'm ready). Unfortunately I have trust issues, although I have met people before who I've learned to trust. One silly problem that nags at me when I think about it (silly, silly, silly) is that I couldn't wear a ring because I have mild aspergers and I won't touch metal. So until I could reconcile some inner demonies like these, I wouldn't count myself as ready. As a general rule, mid-twenties seems a reasonable base age; although, again, it would depend on the people themselves.

I don't want to get married until I'm very sure. Planning ahead, I would say early thirties. You don't hear of people getting married too late, but you do hear of them getting married too early...the divorce rate sickens me. And divorce can be a very scary, complicated, and scarring thing. I don't want to go through that! I plan on living with my partner for a few years beforehand maybe. I might want to keep my last name...depends. I don't plan on having kids, but I guess I would get married if my partner and I wanted to take that leap. Other than tax benefits, marriage isn't something very special to me. If it means a lot to my partner, I suppose it could be arranged. But I'd want to live together for at least a year - that would be really nice.

And then there's the whole "depends on the situation" thing. So my rules are pretty flexible.

Meh. I dunno. I'll be married by 18-19 I suspect. Or at least be engaged. And in all likelyhood it will be to Dan. I guess it just depends where and how you were brought up.

hey...i dunno bout marriage... i may get married at uni, but just for something to do... possibly to my friend so she can change her name (don't think she thought about deed poll...) but my parents were married young...17 and 20... and they had 25 years of marital bliss! my mum wasn't legally allowed to drink at her own wedding!

i think that it should be based on love, trust and current situation (money etc)...if all is good - go for it!

Fal xXx