So what's the deal? Why is there no Japanese topic? Shame. Is it because nobody speaks Japanese, or because people are too lazy? If it's the former, let's get a tutorial going. If it's the latter, I've started one.

Actually there is a topic for Japanese already.

But that doesn't stop me from wanting to learn. I love the sound of Japanese and would be fascinated to learn more.

Well, that settles it then. This shall become

THE JAPANESE TUTORIAL FORUM

Taa-daa!
Yay. I would really like other people to post lessons, because my nihongo is really, really pitiful. I can also get my J-penpal here, perhaps, and I'll post when my Japanese class starts... Yes?

LESSON ONE: EXPRESSIONS
(I'll use romaji, but only because fear compatibility issues)
*Final U sounds (espescially -su) aren't really pronounced. Use pure vowels, and crisp consonants. There is no stress. EVER.
Good Morning- Ohayoo Gozaimasu
Good Afternoon- Konnichi-wa
Good Evening- Konban wa
Thank you- Arigato Gozaimasu
You're Welcome- Do itashimashite

More, anyone?

Hey, I know some Japanese:

Wai! Baka!

That's about it. Yup

MORE EXPRESSIONS
Please - Onegaishimasu
Excuse me/I'm sorry - Sumimasen
Thank you very much (very formal) - Domo Arigatou Gozaimasu
This way please - Kochira e doozo

NEW WORDS
Watashi - I/me noun.
Desu - is/are, very commonly used, especially when learning. As with all verbs, it is used at the end of a sentence.
Sakaya - Wine Store
Otaku - Freak
Hiragana - Alphabet used to write Japanese words
Katakana - Alphabet used primarily to write foreign words. Katakana characters are often simpler than Hiragana characters.
Kanji - Chinese characters, the most extensive and complex of the three written languages.

I'd love to learn -perhaps if you can teach phenetically (sp?)

It is phonetic, that's what the romaji are- an english letters phonetic equivalent.

VOWELS
a- pAlm
I- do re mI fa
u- cOOl (ooh sound)
e- lEt's
o- gO (but a little bit shorter)

These are combined with the consonants KTNHRYMGDPB and (n), which is like a short hum but with n. For example, k+a= ka. All japanese syllables from these, or a combination ( like ki+yu=kyu). The r is halfway between english r and english l- flipping it (the r) is the easiest way to make the sound. It's not perfect, but close.


Japanese is Subject-Object-Verb. English is Subject-Verb-Object.
Japanese- I there go. English- I go there.




BASIC SENTENCE:

watashi wa _____ desu. (the final u is whispered)

I (topic marker) _______ am. Or basically, I am _____.

Oh, and I intend to lengthen this longer (EDIT: later (I left it there for your amusement and so you would realise that you shouldn't listen to me becaause I can't even speak my own language)), but here you go:

The Japanese are obsessed with politeness levels. EXAMPLE:

Teacher: Good bye.
Student (Who is clearly a gaijin)- Good bye
Class- *Gasps of shock, horror, and revulsion.*

All right, so it's more apparent in Japanese:

Teacher: Sayoonara
Student: Jaa, mata. <- Big, BIG BIG no-no. That is only for people who are either at your social level or below you. Namely, dogs. (Or little kids. If I ever go to Japan, I will only ever speak with small children so I can't offend them.)

The moral of the story is, the longer the form, the more polite
Like domo vs. arigatoo gozaimasu vs. domo arigatoo gozaimasu. Usually, the middel one is good. The last is expressing incredible gratitude, or if you're speaking to the PM (and lots and lots of other times, but I'm making generalisations)

In the first example, when the teacher ("sensei") said sayoonara, the student ("gokujin", i think, I'll look it up later in my notes from class) should have said "Shitsurei shimasu". (Once again, the final u is silent)

Kapish?

Ah ha! Pop quiz! No, wait, that wouldn't work... Blast.
Anyway, some more somewhat useful stuff.

Onamae wa nan desu ka. - What is your name?
nanensei desu ka. What year are you in school?
Doko kara kimashita (regular)
Dochiro kara arashaimashita ka. (Polite) Where are you from? (Yes, it's vague).


AND

Kore- this (close to speaker)
Sore- that (close to listener)
are- that over there (far from both)
Kore(sore/are) wa nihongo de nan to iimasu ka. What is this in Japanese?
_____ to iimasu. (remember, it's like toe, not two)

Or simply ______ wa nan desu ka.

______ desu.




_____desu ka. Is _____? (or Are you _____?)
Hai, sou desu. - Yes, it is so. (Affirmative for the pattern ____desu ka.)
Iie, sou ja arimasen -No, it is not so.

I think that's good for now...

Well, I am at the mercy of my memory because my binder isn't with me, but here we go...

Items

Uchi- house
apaatoo- apartment
ryou (or is it ryoo? pronounced the same at any rate)- dorm
Beddo- bed. (the double d means there's a sort of breath hold in between)
Tokei - clock
isu- chair
Sutando- lamp (the u is whispered/silent)
Hondana- bookshelf
todana- cabinet
mado- window
inu- dog (Yes, I know. Inu Yasha= Demon Dog)
neko- cat
futon- no. not a futon. It's actually a bed on the ground that you can put away, not a couchy thing.

And some adjectives:

ookii- big
chisai- small
hiroi- wide
semai- narrow/ crowded
akarui- well lit
atarashi- new
furui- old
takai- tall
ii- good
suteki- fabulous/ beautiful

Those are all the 'i' adjectives. That means that you don't have to do anything to them to use them. More on their evil twin, the 'na' adjectives, later.

ie

uchi wa furui desu. The house is old.

Oh! I need to tell you about no.

NO marks a relationship between nouns. A lot of times it's used to show posession.

I.e. Watashi NO neko = my cat

But sometimes it's just a relationship.
Iowa daigaku (Iowa University, where I got to school) NO tanaka-san
is
Tanaka-san from Iowa University.

Questions?
More on NO later; lunch is over.

Double vowels don't change the sound of the vowel itself, btw. They are just drawn out, or said for a little bit longer.

Where are you taking Japanese? Do you take it full time or part time?

Ah, thank you. I hadn't realised I hadn't told you. Anyway, I'm a full time student, by which I mean I have class everyday. And I take it at the University of Iowa. And yes, my sensei are japanese. One is from Tokyo and one is from Osaka. Any other questions?