I heard that when the full moon comes out Mata turns into...


A purple Poodle!

Mata is actually acting as a surrogate mother for George Bush and Saddam Hussein, who're madly in love and desperate to have a baby.

Mata is actually a masked wrestler known to the world only as "El Monkey Terriblay." Never said he was good at spelling.

Hey, I'm just telling you what I heard.

Mata is infact inhuman. He is part cyborg and part cyclopse and feeds off of the little things that go bump in the night underneath the beds of any child without the protection of a samuri.

For any child caught without a samuri mata steals one sock from a pair from the child's sock drawer.

Mata was the jedi knight swarn to protect the one ring from the evil agenst of the matrix but he gave it over for trinty.

Mata's the kind of guy that kisses and doesn't call!

*cries*

you do know that mata was involved in the abduction of elvis...

I swear he was!

That and he was surrounded by clones of Pixigoth.....

Mata has a secret herum of poor Dutch girls whom he's tricked into thinking he's Ringo Starr via glasses, wig and stick-on gotee.

Mata told Jonman to make this thread, so when he's found doing all these things, it will seem ridiculous.

It's Mata's fault I didn't get a payrise. He called my bosses and told them I did smack and put ponies in compromising positions.

There have been multiple reports of rabbit molestations all over the southern UK. Mata likes rabbits. Coincidence? I think not.

And then he videos a big sock-puppet theatre, and sends tapes to the children. And oh, how they cry.

He also takes candy from babies.
...he says its easy.

Mata actually wrote and directed every classic Nickelodeon show. Clarissa Explains It All, The Adventures of Pete and Pete, Hey Dude, Salute Your Shorts... the works.

He. Is. A. God.

It's true. I'm one of them

mata actually made the one ring and is secretly building an army of orcs in his basement

I have to say it... Mata, I'm betraying your secret.

Mata *sob* INVENTED SURVIVOR!

*cries furiously*

Mata has look alikes who go to prison for him, and, likewise, take it in the behind for him while he sits leisurely at his lair cuddling his vampyric bunny rabbits.

Upon Mata's birth, God tried to get the fifth Commandment amended to "Thou shalt not kill - except Mata". However, the Lord Almighty got bogged down in legal paperwork and gave up in 1997. Not coincidentally, this was the year that Tony Blair became Prime Minister of the UK.

Mata hides, breeds and sells rare, exotic and endangered animals out of a warehouse in London that he owns under the name Mr. Snaffelburger.

Also during his teens, he sold mixtures of oregano and tobacco to kids telling them it was pot (he chose that mixture over pot for moral and financial reasons). He also used the name Mr. Snaffelburger.

Mata once saved a midget from a burning building...

He doesn't have opposable thumbs.

But he does have a prehensile tail.

Mata was actually the 8th Brady child. Later, in horrible mutating accident, involving, three penguins, a malfunctioning Super Nintendo, bad weed, and ten or twelve circus midgets, he became the fifth Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle - Picasso. Needless to say, he hasn't acted since, save that one time he served as Captain Planet's stunt double.

A little birdy (I think it was a chaffinch) told me that he goes to other forums and spams threads.

Mata...

Is a nun.

Mata is secreatly George bush's son.

...Real Clever.

I am Mata!

Mata is Nixon

I heard Mata was really Johnny Depp...

*mob of screaming girls runs by and attacks Mata*

I heard Mata dislikes me and rolls of masking tape. I'm also to understand that, not only does he dislike rolls of masking tape, but he finds sexually abusive ways to abuse them. The masking tape can never look at the world in the same way again.

Mata... er... I was actually each and every Beatle. (The John Lennon quarter of me wants you to know that Yoko actually shot me...)

Mata enjoys books on Geology.

Those are books about ROCKS!

I heard that mata has his own religion in which he makes people believe he is god and makes them drink poisened koolaid that turns them all into little fluffykin which he feeds to all the snaffelburgers.

All the characters on mata's website are real because mata is god.

Mata can smell our brains... but you all knew that, right?

I also heard that his pinkie finger on his left hand is bigger than his pinkie finger on his right hand, which is smaller than the pinkie finger on his left hand, which is bigger than his pinkie finger on his right hand, which is smaller...

Hidden somewhere on his website is a large amount of adult fiction Mata wrote starring Margaret Thatcher and Jack Straw.

Mata keeps prank calling my house

my little brother keeps chading our refridgerator!

Mata has a secret army of mummified squirrels and other assorted rodents and plans on taking over Vatican City and Luxemburg with them.

*blink blink*

Dear god, I was thinking of creating this thread only a few days before it was done, then thought to myself, "Nah, that's a dumb idea." When I saw it here, I was honestly shocked and briefly wondered if I had created it without recognizing it on some conscious level, or what...

Great minds think alike, I guess.

Mata not only eats kittens, he ate MY kitten.

Mata ate me. And a computer. With wireless. Right now, I type from his belly, and am worried about where I'm going to wind up.

Mata was fifty-second in line to the British throne five years ago, but he's since bumped off thirty contenders. He's now got his sights on the Princes - he plans to eliminate them by dressing up in a Catwoman suit, a la Fathers For Justice.

I talked to someone whose uncle's coworker's neighbor' brother over in the UK saw Mata suck down an eight ball (as in billiards, not cocain) and chase it with about an American gallon's worth of beer and a few shots. He did it on a dare and got ten pounds.

I heard that Mata is plotting to overthrow the Queen of England and replace her with that vile Frenchman, Jacques Chirac! The man is a filthy republican!

Mata if this is true your a biatch!!!.

On a side note, Mata agrees with all my views on crime and the world and said "I will support your plan for world domination, through my site. By including sumblinal "vote for Spacehappy" messages in my animation".

There are more wires around the back of Mata's TV than there are in the entirety of Somalia.

Via time travel, Mata gave my grandfather the wrong ticket, landing him in Jamaica instead of Honduras thinking he'd be terrorizing the RAF to the point where he could take it over and call it Mata's Big-Ass Lot of Planes. This plan failed because they sent another guy to Honduras. Meanwhile my grandfather met some Asian girl at the airport causing a chain reaction that led to my birth.

Thanks, Mata!

Mata ate my homework.

Mata got me hooked on Dr. Pepper.

Mata has three nipples but cleverly disguises the third as a belly button.

He gets away with this because HE HAS NO BELLY BUTTON!!!!

LMAO Snuggs.

Mata admited he is a figment of our collective consicence. If we did not believe in Mata, he would not have attracted us here, therefore we would not exist, becasue the only reason we exist is because he believes we do.

/me straightens out mind.

Mata is a two legged elephant whose whining could power a small city.