Mata edits everyone's signatures so that they have sublimanel messages in them!

Here's a rumour I have heard about beloved Mata:
Apparently he likes to eat small kittens from a platter.

He often gives them silly names, just before his meal,
Then grabs his knife and grabs his fork and gobbles them with zeal.

The forumites all ask him why he must devour these,
And he claims that it's just research to achieve some PhDs.

Mata picked a peck of pickled pepper.

He also sells sea shells on the sea shore! (But I don't think that the shells he sells are from the sea shore!)

I heard today
from a young man
that this website is to be banned.

Due to bandwith
(hits per hour),
The world's been drained of all its power.

So pencils and
a notebook too
Is how the site shall contact you.

Mata once tried to live la vida loca... but couldn't find anyone to ease his pain...

Mata was once a marathon runner... on the moon...

Mata is the king of wishful thinking...

Mata stole the cat's meow.

Sorry Quoth(the raven).

Damn repeats

Sometimes Mata goes outside without any shoes on.

Mata cuts his cocaine with a spork

ermmm... maybe he's the king of Wistful thinking...

Mata thinks hexadecimal is "sexy", and lists binary as one of his greatest turn-ons. When asked about octal, a lustful look spread across his face and he excused himself.

Many of us talk to ourselves. Some of us answer ourselves. You see a few people walking on the streets, arguing with themselves. Not Mata. He has a restraining order against himself...

Contrary to popular opinion, Mata has not been eating kittens... His favorite Chef left to work in a New York eatery. "Without good Bernaise sauce... What's the point?" he was heard to complain...

Mata has a deep, dark, secret... He's part Canadian...

Mata thought metachlorians from The Phantom Menace were a good idea.

Mata starts fights in the War Room.

Mata thought there was chemistry between Hayden Christiansen and Natalie Portman.

Mata made it rain when I was hiking

he also killed my ladybird

Mata causes static shocks on staircases or car doors due to a fondness for small yelps.

Mata laughed when you fell over.

Mata never accepts responsibility for stolen or damaged items left unattended in the car park.

Mata's the one that stalled in front of you at the traffic lights, and made you wait another thirty seconds.

Mata drinks cider from a lemon; I also hear tell he's got a house in Devon.

Mata presse the 'WAIT' buttons at pelican crossings then walks away.

Mata brushes up against people in crowds and farts silently.

Mata has night and thermal-vision goggles and creeps around in college dorms, Sam Fisher-style.

Mata thought this was a good idea.

*shudders*

Mata is the manufacturer and UK distributer of Ghoulies and Ghosties and long leggedy beasties... He's hoping to expand to the U.S. and Canada, next year...

Mata is a tweeting bird, in a meadow. Mata is a wreath of pretty flowers that smell bad! Are your circuits registering correctly? Your ears are turning green!

Mata quotes old Sci-fi shows...

Mata ordered his webserver to be powered by a thousand lemmings in little wheels. The tortoise powering the last web server just didn't cut it.

Mata is the evil twin of Ernest Hemmingway.

"Mata supposes his toes are roses;
But Mata supposses erroneously,
For Mata he knowses
his toeses aren't roses,
as Mata supposes
His toeses to be;"

On some moonless nights (or under blue moons, which are the second full moon of a month) Mata can be seen tap dancing on top of fences wearing only briefs, ruffled socks, and tap shoes, and singing Dire Straits' "Les Boys" rather loudly.

However, no one has managed to catch this on tape yet, so he's gotten away with it so far. But one day....

Mata is actually the current incarnation of an immortal artist. He just changes his name, style and media, when people start to catch on. Of course, he has to arrange the "accidental" demise of those who recognise... *Urk!*

Mata rubs his hands on magazine pages because he swears he can feel the colors.

He's almost entirely made of toast, noodles, and Tabasco sauce.

Mata has a gecko skin matching pump and purse set......

Mata is really Mittens in disguise

Mata has great big waterproof boots on Mata has a great big waterproof hat Mata has a great big waterproof macintosh and that said Mata was that.

I (literally) had beautifully designed suit from a Hong Kong taylor that was green with pink stripes...believe it or not its possible

Mata chews onion Garlic gum. He claims it freshens his breath.

Mata's voice resonates at the same frequency as ceiling tiles.

Mata speaks Fluent Braile...

Mata was once so rich, he actually bought a college. Yep. he bought Wassa university, in wales, and wanted to change the name to Mata University. The board of regents, though, told him that the loss of the familier name would be bad for business. So, he compromised, and added his name, at the end. This made the new name...

...wait for it...

WassaMata U.

The college quickly went out of business...

Mata often hangs out with Michael Jackson, Mackuly Culkin and Liz taylor. And they're all in my art (therapy) class

Mata creates user accounts and makes obscene posts just to ban them.

In the middle ages, one of Mata's ancestors was a dyslexic Barber... He boiled lances.