Why did the chicken cross the road?
Mata was on the lam, and took her hostage...

most people don't know this, but Mata was once a radio personality... until the fateful day he mispronounced the name Forrest Tucker...

Mata makes .02 Pence, everytime someone sneezes...

Mata has often been seen wearing pretty bows in his hair!

Mata likes to make dumplings soggy

Mata is the Bomb diggedy... or, something like that, there...

Mata actually (gasp) enjoys reading Dickens!

(No offense to those who like Dickens, I cant stand him)

I saw Mata kissing Santa Clause

Mata is the reason your chewing gum loses it's flavor on the bedpost overnight... yup.

Mata leaves his gum on the footpath to get stuck in your nicest boots

Mata is the head of the Walmart corporation!

(sorry, not very creative)

Mata co-wrote escape from L.A for shame

Mata obsessive-compulsively eats poptarts

(Wow, it's like 4:00 tomorrow in Australia! amazing!)

Mata leaves half a spoon of penut butter in the jar

Mata used to date Hugh jackman

and it's only 3.30 tomorrow thankyouverymuch

"Mata. Yes, Mata. Strange visitor from outerspace... Fights a never ending battle for Truth, Justice, and increased Bandwidth!"

"There's no reason to fear... Mata is here!"

But evil. Very, very evil.

Mata sneaks into your garden at night and digs up the seeds.

Mata gets Jell-O intransvaneously.

Mata "boldly goes where no man has gone before!"

MATA is a four letter word

MATA = Mittens ate two Apples

Mata goes to the same gym as ashlee simpson

Mata shakes up your fizzy drink can whilst you aren't looking.

Mata holds an all night vigil at the grave of groucho marx

Mata can do minor household tasks with his feet.

Mata cries when Tesco run out of Alphabites.

Mata don't need no education or thought control.

his brains are spicy...

almost like Spicy McHaggis....

hmmm.... Spicy Brains...

*chases Mata around the lesser part of Essex*

Mata likes to mosh to Korn. It controls the urges.

He also can't have his pudding until he's had his meat.

He turned me into a pickled homonculus to further his nefarious plans.

But at least he allows you to have internet access from your jar, right?

there are actually two Matas... The Mata and the Anti-Mata. If they ever meet, they will violenlty cancel each other out, ending the universe as we know it...

Mata was really put out, when a customer in a fancy restaurant accidently ordered a Mata cracker instead of a water cracker... nearly gave the poor waiter who delivered him a hernia, too...

So, the whole of Essex then?

I'm allowed to say that... I live there


p.s. Mata should have stayed at home yesterday

Translation lost Mata in a crowded room

Mata always shines on TV

Mata puts foam in the carpet cleaners you rent from the super market.

Mata teaches History at my school.

Mata nicked off with my copy of Interveiw with a vampire

Mata collects dead flies, dog hair and bits of fluff

Mata prefers the directors cut of Bladerunner...

Mata provides director's commentaries for all of his animations, but only told me how to access them.

Mata has a collection of 110 paintings of Pikachu, that he painted during his infamous "yellow period".

Mata longs for the chance to run naked throught the park scuffling and digging like a sweet ferrety dog thing

he makes up for this by chewing up his in-laws

When drunk, Mata spams his own forums....he also vandalises hedgerows

Mata is why my local council banned hedges from public places.....he does bad stuff behind them

Mata can fit himself into a jiffy bag. He claims it is for ebay opportunities.

Mind you, it's a big jiffy bag.