Mata hacked the UCAS site

Mata makes customers think that I care.

Mata hung the moon... but has thus far escaped justice...

The last time Mata took a shower was July sixth 1989

Mata busts moves to funky grooves.

Mata can't sleep unless he collects his bellybutton fluff and steeps it in hot water then spritzes his bedlinens with it.

It was the Mata who stole Christmas...

Mata sets off Cold War air raid sirens "for fun".

Mata is the one who made my school change the dress code rules again so that we can't even where v-neck t-shirts anymore, and our shirts have to cover from the base of our necks to a little past the tip of our shoulder...

Mata beleives that Turkeys and Chimps represent twin peaks of evolution, and one day will fight it out, to determine who should inherit the Earth...

Mata once started a Microbe circus... he had to close after half his audience came down with the plague...

Mata does spy espianage (sp?) for the french

Mata told me my bum looked big in these *points to a pair of jeans*

Mata has a secret website called MataZone. Find it, and ye shall receive greeeat rewards.

Mata beleives that the answer to life, the universe, and everything is Antidisestablishmentarianism...

That's perfect.

Scarily so

erm......Mata has his own one-man show called "Just Mata," which was ripped off by the one man show "Just Jack"

The being we call Mata is just one of many avatars of a being born in the white hot explosion we call the big bang... he has assumed many forms over the ages, in many parts of the universe, to better understand existance. Once he has come to a complete understanding of time and space, he will have the knowledge to end all things, forever...

Mata seriously believes Bob Saget is God, and is a devout follower of the website bobsagetisgod.com.

He told me that the answer was pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis!

Mata pretends he knows the lyrics to "Come On Eileen" by Dexy's Midnight Runners, but if you listen to him carefully, he's just making vowel noises.

Everyone does that, don't they?

For a person who has never met me, you're often quite accurate...

Mata suffers from mental, suffers from mental, tonight.

I know them!



Ah... I may have met you, but you may never have met me.

Well, if "looking through binoculars from the window opposite" counts as meeting...

Mata hunts dust bunnies, and mounts their heads on his den wall...

Mata got confused when he was told to go apartment hunting....

Mata spends months on end in his computer room, devoting all of his time to creating techno music.

Mata calls Jonman in the middle of the night to breath heavy over the line before hanging up on him.

This is suspiciously similar to todays Ctrl+alt+del...

/spam

Mata dresses up as santa at Christmas and when the little children come to sit on his lap, he takes off his beard and tells them he's not real.

Mata makes animal noises in his sleep.

Mata has been known to poke small children with sticks, to see if they're tender enough to eat yet.

Mata is living with his mum, who has enough cats to break the British law, if there is one.

Cats have gotten tired of Mata's kitten eating ways, and have formed a lynch mob, currently staking out his house. As a result, Mata hasn't gone outside for two weeks...

I think you mean that today's Ctrl+Alt+Del is suspiciously similar to this. Hmmm?

Mata tells us that he is training a band of crime-fighting ducks, but he is actually training them as an army to take over the world. (Again)

Not to mention that his supplies are declining drastically, and he needs to go to the super market rather soon to find kitten seasoning.

Mata causes your MOT, insurance and/or vehicle tax to expire.

and those who don't make the grade... get eaten!

Mata is really a dropout ninja who drops in on his "targets" at the wrong time

Mata holds you personally responsible.

Mata is the person who always sneaks up behind people and hits them with a fish.

A frozen fish too; So you have the fishy smell and a bruise to match.

Mata says that health is for squares

THATS WHAT I SAY!!!
...

mata says that google is a corperate conspiracy to make billions

Mata beleives....

Mata doesn't beleive...

Mata beleives he doesn't beleive...

Mata beleives that he doesn't beleive in you beleiving in him beleiving in her beleiving in you...

Tisnt it?

/Spam with a slight chance of showers/

Mata keeps me up all night listning to music instead of getting a restful sleep.

(Thanks a lot, Mata)

The ultimate battle between good and evil is over! Mata won!

Is there a _right_ time to be dropped on by a ninja?

Mata sneaks into your house and jams your kitchen drawers with egg wisks and strange things with handles and twiddly bits.

Mata has two alternate accounts on here...can you spot them?

Yes there IS a right time to be dropped on by a ninja. Would it be awkward to be dropped on? Just a thought.