Mata is the customer in front of you who pays in coppers.

And counts them out, S-L-O-W-L-Y

In Mata's day, he had to walk twenty miles to and from school... in nine feet drifts of snow... in his bare feet... in the summer... (You don't want to know about the winter...).

^.... Mata had it easy.

...And it was uphill, both ways!

Mata has served his purpose.

Mata beleives that walking backward can restore lost youth...

Mata entices innocent victims to this site before breaking their computers and causing them horrible amounts of trauma because they cannot get to the site without their computer...

it's kinda like saying "Mata has totally ruined my life by taking my time AND my compter hostage!"

Mata told me he loved me, just to sleep with me.

Mata originally hails from Transexual, transylvania...

Aaa-Haaaa! Hey! Hey! I'm just a sweet transvestite... etc.




Mata's inferiority complexes aren't as good as yours.

If there was a such thing as an automatic ozone depleter, mata would have invented it.

Mata is...

Paddington Bear

Mata claims he can defeat Atom Ant.

Mata arm-wrestled with Vin Diesel... And won.

Mata always gambles to lose, and so feels pleasantly surprised when he occasionally wins...

Mata pushed all my sister's cake on the floor, so that I couldn't have any.

Mata lures little boys into his gingerbread house

Mata's a distant relative of both George W. Bush and Brittany Spears.

Mata can't see the purpose of Luxembourg

Can anyone?

Mark Twain once said of Mata that he started out only a little lower than the angels, but has since slipped to somewhere between the Angels... and the french.

Mata works in the factory where they add the itch to fibreglass.

MATA is both god and the devil

mata is one of his own animations! (paradox anyone)

Mata thinks graffiti is a type of spaghetti.

Mata invented both the lead pipe and the face. It took Boris Yeltsin to combine the two.

"Mata" Means "kill them all" in Spanish! (Actually, kinda true...).

Mata wants to meet up in the year 2000.

Mata is my Auntie Doris!

Mata went on holiday by mistake!

Mata made my Aunty John a real little boy...

Mata thinks he's funny.

Mata is funny

Mata hides behind the sofa eating onion rings.

Mata Bought the DVD of "Lemony Snicket's a series of unfortunate events" just for the opening 'Littlest Elf' segment - which he plays over and over and over....

Mata makes the sun go out at night.

Isn't that a book?

Mata hides in the ocean and unhooks all the little fish that you manage to catch on your line, effectively, putting the fishing industry out of business.

It's a mangled quotation from Mark Twain, who, for some reason, liked to pick on the French, in his writings. The actual quote has Humanity starting out a little lower than the angels, but ending up somewhere between the angels and the French...

Mata has been known to try to skip stray dogs across ponds...

Mata's secret white-mouse circus goes "tootely-tootely-oo", NOT "oom-pah, oom-pah, oom-pah."

/coraline love

Mata buys Salvation Army underwear.

Eeeeeeeeew...

Mata once let the washing go so long, it ran away from home... he had to buy an entirely new wardrobe...

Mata used to own a paper shop...

...until it blew away!


Hahahaha. Ah dear! *wipes tear from eye* I crack myself up.

Mata buys used dynamite...

Mata shot to fame as a child star of the 80s.

Mata runs a lucrative business selling cheese to old women by saying it has sexual powers.

Mata stills calls his radio, "the wireless".

Mata, noticing the scarcity of kittens in the forum, has decided to supplement his diet, by adding noobs to his menu... which is why we haven't heard from some who've joined recently...

Mata denies claims associating him with department store Matalan, to prevent the public from finding the truth...

Oh, but his bargains are so tempting!

Jeans from £15? I know there's something going on behind closed doors, Mata...