Mata cannot hold in his eager anticipation for the forthcoming 'Take That' documentary.

"Don't leave, Robbie! Don't leave!" he cries in the night, as he awakes from some awful dream.

Mata is personally responsible for the extinction of the dodo. And he pokes baby ducklings with spoons.

Mata overcaem dyslexia.

Mata has an unusualy large and knarled squamous epithelium...

Mata finks, so he is

Mata said "Neitchze is dead"

Neitchze said, "Mata is dead"

Mata invented the term "Oh my gooses!" after his might flock of birds attacked Mrs Thatcher one day.

Mata never puts enough postage stamps on letters and parcels, so the receiver has to pay the extra.

Mata made me eat all three of my German salami things. Then he forced me to drink lots of fizzy juice.

Mata made me not skinny!

*shakes fist*


Fal xXx

(I'm rationalising. It stops the guilt in my head!)

Mata sits at the back of the class and tells naughty limericks.

Mata planted maggots in all the plums and satsumas right before I eat one so I find half a white thing. Urgh.

Mata reads the Lord's Prayer to a drum and bass track.

The Dead said, "Mata is Neitchze"

Yer mum said "Nietchze is Mata". Then died.

Mata likes to soak himself in fish juice to attract stray cats whereupon he chloroforms and shaves them.

He's also a hunchback.

And the two aren't mutually exclusive.

mata leads an army of ferrets.

Mata is Pob.
(I have proof >_> ).

Mata is branching out into forest-based comedy. Some people say he's barking up the wrong tree and are starting to give him a bit of stick about it, but I think people should leaf him alone. If they had the talent, I bet they wood do the same anyway.

Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. The result was Mata.

Mata wishes he wrote the JCB song.

Mata is gay.

(Private joke, that unfortunately no-one on this website will get).

Mata can not be trusted in a room full of blindfolded monkies.

Mata can't be trusted in a room full of blindfolded Monkees.

Mata created Mariah Carrey from some plasticine he found stuck to his sock whilst padding about the house one day.

Mata is currently driving around Asia in a Reliant Robin, shooting two of every endangered species, whilst screaming 'I am the anti-Santa.'

It is believed that he wants to make a sport out of this reckless carnage, which, for no apparent reason, will be called 'basqueitball.'

Mata secretly made everyone on the forums have the middle name Edward, including himself.

Mata is the original Shakey-Jakey.

Mata gets mince pies put on his head by strange women.

Mata has a secret stash of barbie dolls that he has grusomely disfigured to look like her boyfriend, Ken

Only on the third Tuesday in December.

I've seen Mata covered in honey and dancing with the pixies of 6 shropshire lane. This in of itself is not so unusual, but I could have sworn that the pixies were diabetic...unless....they just don't want to assiciate with me. Curse you pixies! You and you're polite, yet ultimetly cruel ways!

Mata taunts cats by wiggling his opposable thumbs at them and shouting "Ha, you b******s! try opening tins! Neeerrrrr!".

Mata's mother tongue is polari.

Mata carries a shell from the indian ocean around under his clothes.

>_>

SPOILER WARNING:
In the last episode of 24: Day 5, Mata reveals himself as the bad guy.

1) Mata secretly enjoys weaing manties.

2) Mata will beat me to death for suggesting that next time he sees me.

50% of that last post is accurate.

50% eh? Lets see what I can come up with...



Seems a little harsh to me.

Harsh, but it's for his own good.

o______o

*shudder*

Mata invented MANties because conventional man pants didn't have the fun lacy bits.

When Mata gets up in the morning he does a leap frog, then walks the dog. He sometimes does a leap frog whilst walking the dog.

Fact.

If he's running late he just leap dogs.

Mata is head of the Large Red Candle Society.

This isn't really my OWN rumor, since I heard it from someone else...but my cousin Asta says that Mata is the hottest guy around and that the two of them have some sort of e-relationship going on? and that he does figure skating in his spare time?

I dunno man, just repeating what I've heard.

It's probably just as well my girlfriend doesn't read this thread very often.

hopefully Laura doesn't murder me in cold blood next time I see her.

*shakes fist at Saratina* The first time in the past month I stop in to see what people are making up about silly Lord Mata and this is what I see. The closest thing I have to an e-relationship is drooling over Calantyr's new av. Don't worry, I won't kill you.
Mata not only figure skates, he skates in a sparkly purple outfit to the tune of "My Heart Will Go On."

mata gets very grumpy if he doesn't watch the teletubbies every day.



oh i forgot! he will only eat walkers crisps, and he doesn't even eat them, he throws them into his basement!!!

For every word above seven letters writen, Mata gets royalties. That is the only reason why people use big words in the Issues Forum, and why Mata likes people to use full sentences.