Mata spent all night playing with board margins just so this would show up properly:

Mata sunk my battleship.

Mata sends daily warnings to Micheal Bay "make the Transformers movie good, or the puppy gets it", he is actually on the third puppy due to accidental deaths and puppys growing so damn fast.

Mata is a fuel for cyborgs and kittens.

Mata is trying to destroy the sighn at stansted airport that says "dnt be wstfll!" and has so far failed.

Mata once changed his name to Matam, just so that he could be palindromic.

Mata is sixth in line for the throne

Mata attempted to fool people in a fair-ground setting by charging them £5 a go to see the Ampersand.

Mata is responsible for global warming.

Mata can jump out of your computer screen. However, due to the nature of the transportation, Mata must say "Ta-da!" when he crashes to the floor, and speak in third person for the following five minutes.

Mata was the girl in the Ring. Not only can he jump out of your computer, he can jump out of your television!

Mata post-dates cheques.

Mata is in the post

Once again.... Where's Mata?!?! Cell phones and myspaces.

Secretly, someone else is acting as Mata on these forums.

Where's Wally? books were once Where's Mata? but were refering to Mata Hari to whom Mata aspired as a child and so out of admiration, changed his name by deed poll.

However, Mata is acting for that person, as himself, to ward off suspicion.

Mata is a flake of skin that fell off of william shatners arm and evolved into the man we know today.

Mata once dated the queen of America.

Mata is using a satilite to kill my garden with radiation. It's not that i'm crap at gardening. Honest.

Mata is responsible for all those awful mistranslations in foreign literature.

Mata has lady lumps

Mata claims this is all conjecture.

Mata drinks huge amounts of green tea.

Mata is the one who put that nasty, year-old cookie in the back of the cookie jar. That's why no-one remembers buying it.

Mata Can't look up

Mata invented coke.

The drug or the drink or both?

Mata once ran in a circle so long that he made a hole that reached halfway through the world. He needed a ladder to get out.

Both.

...Which means that he is Sigmund Freud. One of his earlier games could be an allusion to that fact.

Mata parks in other people's designated parking spaces.

Mata is amused by traffic jams, so much so that he has patented the idea of red, orange and green jam with a brand name and marketing programme too.

Mata paints his toenails.

Mata is the real Slim Shady.

Mata plays the sporks.

Mata drove his chevy to the levee but the levee was dry.

And good old boys drinking whiskey and wine said "this'll be the day that Mata gets a Nobel Prize".

Their words were bastardised by songwriters years later.

Mata was once decapitated instead of Louis XIV, he still hasn't gotten through all of the paper work this caused.

Mata makes mix-tapes for all his good friends.

What? You haven't got one?

Oh...

Mata creates the world worst pancakes. Each toss lands them in a different dimension and we never see them again.

In case of emergency, break Mata.

As mata once said
"I'll give you fish, I'll give you Cand(y), I'll give you everything I have in my hands"

Mata was the founding member of the B-52's, almost like the 5th Beatle. He left due to artistsic differences.

Sometimes Mata gives me the creeps
Sometimes Mata plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think he's cracking up
Am I just paranoid?
Am I just stoned?

The moment it passes midnight, Mata starts correcting people that say, "tomorrow" when, technically, they mean, "today".

I do that!

Mata was the pink Power Ranger, the man inside of Barney The Dinosaur and the inspiration for the first Madonna Wiz Ze Big Boobiez

Me too!

Mata makes old men cry.

Mata thinks money grows on trees, and that you were born yesterday.

If Mata told you to jump off a bridge, you would do it.

Mata created myspace. he is the original tom. Now you know who to blame for all the mechandise. . .

Mata throws the baby out with the bathwater.

Mata burns the midnight oil at both ends.