Mata is on the American's side when it comes to scientific spelling. Feremones, estrogen and sulfur are all his bastardizations.

Damn you.
*shakes fist*

Mata messes with your alarm clock.
So THAT'S why you woke up late!

On a side note, I'm nearly certain I see it spelled "Pheromones" here in the US. I'll admit to the spelling of "Color", though.

Mata may or may not be.





Maybe.

Mata knew that...

> _ >

< _ <

Contrary to popular belief, it is only recently that the British have begun spelling words wrong (adding random u's and what have you), due entirely to the brainwashing of the entire nation by Mata, and his animations.

Mata's the one that made soap slippery. He then solved his own mistake by creating shower gel.

Mind, that was AFTER the soap-on-a-roap incident.

You REALLY don't want to know what happened with the Pope-Soap-on-a-Rope incident.

Mary couldn't be hailed enough.

"Mata Conducts Orchestral Showpieces", or so Amazon.co.uk is currently telling me.

Mata bribed Tchaikovsky to compose it.

Mata hunts with trained dogs...

..and when I say "with", I mean "alongside". He is quite a ferocious beast, it has to be said. *nods*

Mata is the only person in the worlds who can kill Superman and make him stay dead.

All hail mata

Mata could rip out a man's jugular with his teeth. Fortunatly, no-one knows who this man is.

Mata's halloween animations are the only things known to man that creep out Chuck Norris.

God said "let there be light!"

Mata said "Say please"

Mata only eats things that are kosher, organic, and don't cast a shadow.

Mata invented 99.99% of all animations that are on the internet. This excludes the one where Austrailia was still all "WTF mate?".


(the End of the World)

Mata is the internet

Mata is the source of those annoying noises that came out of your computer when you still had Dial-up.

Mata owns the landfill site near my village.

Mata is the reason why I still have dial-up.

^ Mata invented dial-up.

Mata named Dial-up for his first love.

He ate her.

With ketchup.

And relish.

He says she was tasty

Mata has odd tastes in food.

Mata is the 1 Guest you see everytime you open a new page on this forum.

Mata handpicks his forum members to ensure they are fresh and ripe.

^ And also for their crunchy bones

That so well with ketchup

And relish

Mata invented the yellow snow cones. :wink:

Mata is obviously not OL tonight as the 1 guest isn't here.

Mata makes clothes labels itchy.

Mata cultivated a special insect that jumps inbetween you collar and neck to make it itch. Grr him!

Mata can't live with or without you.

Which, frankly, puts him up a creek without a paddle.

When you are up that creek without a paddle, Mata is the one who has taken it.

Mata once disagreed with me, so I hit him round the head with my badminton raquet. It broke and he forgot the incident.

Mata'd swim the ocean, just to be with you tonight. He'd climb a mountain, to be running by your side. He'd walk a thousand miles..(enter the words here!). He'd go to Hell and back just to know that you are near!

Mata looks back in anger...

...which explains why he keeps walking into things.

Mata aimlessly wanders around City Walk at night wearing a black coat, chain pants, and head phones. The head phones are casually taken off to listen to the local bands.

If you rearrange the letters of mata you actually get petunia

If he said he swam to china, and he'll sell you South Carolina, you know you're talkin' to that Mata Man.

If you squint and tilt your head to the left, Mata looks like a rhubarb

Mata is actually an anagram of 'The Other Side'. Mata is ashamed of this travesty of the rules of English, so, when questioned about it, he has been known to beat the questioner senseless, and send them on an easyCruise.

Also, Mata is an expert in torturing said peoples, as on the cruise, he forces them to watch Manhattan by Woody Allen

Mata is an avocado advocate.

Mata curiously conjectured corrupt calamaris commit cruel calumnies continuously.

Mata invented the letter 'C' after his mother threw him out

Mata used to be in the Beach Boys

Mata used to be a beach boy.

Made of sand and everything. He was just a sand sculpture made for one of those competitions, but his owner abandoned him, and small children started using him to make castles. He struck back one day and was able to become a real boy through a series of complicated events that were taped by Tim Burton. The film will be coming out sometime next year.




...sorry...I get a little carried away sometimes.

Mata wrote Mata - An encyclopedia, his New York Times bestselling novel.

If you ever randomly see a book fall off a shelf in a library, it is most likely to me a copy of the above book as Mata, in his freak science lab, created millions of little dwarves to do his bidding and him them in all the copies of his book.

Mata is the holy grail.

Mata is lost and will never be found.