Causing mobile phones to suck.

Mata won't let me come to Saturday's meet.

We all know that is a lie. You would be maid guest of honour if you did come, and you know it

Mata is the solon of the governing body over soup temperatures, ensuring they are ALWAYS too hot and on the first mouthful, you ALWAYS burn your tongue.


Or so said the bread, anyways.

Mata is my mum.

Mata edits all of Leonard Cohens work to make sure that no happiness finds it's way in.

Mata is still attempting to convince people that the correct pronunciation is "Mata-phorical".

Mata used the last of the toilet paper and didn't replace it.

Mata used all the minutes on my cell phone.

Mata made the final decision to cancel the firefly series

Mata stole the apple from my fruit basket.

There were two mangoes. I ate one, and there are still two.


I deduce Mata is a mango.

I do much wonder that one Mata, seeing how much
another Mata is a fool when he dedicates his
behaviors to love, will, after he hath laughed at
such shallow follies in Mata, become the argument
of his own scorn by failing in love: and such a man
is Mata. I have known when there was no music
with Mata but the drum and the fife; and now had Mata
rather hear the tabour and the pipe: I have known
when Mata would have walked ten mile a-foot to see a
good armour; and now will Mata lie ten nights awake,
carving the fashion of a new doublet. Mata was wont to
speak plain and to the purpose, like an honest man
and a soldier; and now is Mata turned orthography; Mata's
words are a very fantastical banquet, just so many
strange dishes. May I be so converted and see with
these eyes? I cannot tell; I think not: I will not
be sworn, but love may transform Mata to an oyster; but
I'll take my oath on it, till Mata have made an oyster
of me, Mata shall never make me such a fool. One woman
is fair, yet Mata is well; another is wise, yet Mata is
well; another virtuous, yet Mata is well; but till all
graces be in one woman, one woman shall not come in
Mata's grace. Rich she shall be, that's certain; wise,
or Mata will none; virtuous, or Mata will never cheapen her;
fair, or Mata will never look on her; mild, or come not
near Mata; noble, or not Mata for an angel; of good
discourse, an excellent musician, and her hair shall
be of what colour it please God.

Mata convinced all computers to disconnect from the internet when an hour long download is finally drawing to a close.

He also is in charge of the printer rebellion against all human beings.

Mata killed JFK because of a dispute arising over the proper use of the letters 's' and 'z'.

The Force is with Mata, and he's not letting anyone else have it.

Mata invented the plastic toy lightsaber. All hail Mata.

Mata sees you when you're sleeping, he knows if you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness' sake.

Mata is responsible for Monday Mornings.

Sounds like somebody has a case of the Mondays!

Mata injured his knee in an accident and wrote a Wikipedia article about it.

Oh wait, that was a dream.

(I really wish I was kidding, but I honestly had that dream (nightmarish?) ....I need to stop surfing the internet before bed!)

I once found a video of Mata typing 'supercalafrajalisticexpyalydoshous' in under two miliseconds.

Mata is brainwashing people into changing their avatar.

I saw one where he wrote "Supercalifragalisticexpialidocious" in one millisecond.

Mata sets alarms to make people wake up early on Saturday mornings. *cranky*

Mata invented the evil that is Pantyhose. He made a special design that makes it impossible for them to ever be quite comfortable.

Mata is the phenotype for all gene mutations combined.

Mata is actually a martian word for 'Emporer of the Universe.'

Mata wants to be a Pokemon Champion when he grows up. He told me so himself.

That made me laugh. Alot.

*geek*

Mata made me think that drinking just-bought coffee straight away, was a good idea. Now I can blame him for my burnt tongue and needing a wee every three seconds.

When Mata dies he wants to be the type specimen for Homo sapiens sapiens.

Oh god, I killed the thread >>

It's Mata's fault that I can't find a company who hires out black silk top hats, in London.

Mata is really Jick from Kingdom of Loathing.

Mata insisted on all the innacuracies in star wars galaxies.

Mata's farts smell like roses.

MATA made khan do it!

Mata makes me open the curtains.

There is a girl in America who, five years after having last contacted me, still occasionally responds to people saying 'hello' with 'Long live Mata!'. She and her last boyfriend used to call each other Mittens and Snowdrop, and they each had one of the kitties tattooed on their ankles - which have been covered up since the break-up... All of which would be a great rumour if it weren't true.

By your powers combined, Mata is Captain Planet!

(has this one been done already?)

Mata is You. You are Mata. Embrace your inner Mata and Mata will embrace You.

Mata likes to eat YoYos.

Mata only likes to eat YoYos because if you put them in brackets with an extra o:

(oYoYo)

they look like three boobies.

This is also why Mata's favourite movie is Total Recall

Mata invaded a middle-eastern country, I have proof!

I heard that Mata has an IQ score of over 200, but less than 50.

A couple of weeks ago a homeless person was convinced that I had "someone" in my backpack at school. Today I have discovered that Mata convinced this man that I had trapped him inside my backpack. Luckily for me the man didn't actually get my backpack from me to look inside and discover that Mata was in fact trapped in my backpack between my notebook and my copy of "The Cinderella Complex" by Colette Dowling

Mata is actually a New Zealand filmmaker. I have proof!*
http://www.blacksheep-themovie.com/

"Brother Black Sheep has shown us the way. Kill the humans, kill them all."



*proof may not be valid.

Well that is a mighty huge conincedence there ashbless.

Mata used to ghost write for Hanson

Mata is a 4 piece eating set