Mata is my 4 piece eating set

*wink wink*

Apparently, all the gravity in the universe, has nothing to do with all the objects' mass, but it's just Mata; He has a big pot at home where he brews up massive amounts of gravity and shoots it out.

That's why anyone who tries to go there gets sucked into eternal nothingness...

Mata stole my body, I can only occasionally use it while he sleeps. Please free me!

Sues stole Mata's pink wig, and won't give it back.

Mata ate my grandma.

Mata got run over by a reindeer.

Walking home from my house Christmas eve.

Trouble down pit is based on real events, some names were changed to protect the innocent.

Mata's mother was a hamster and his father smelt of elderberries!

That's a lie! (I didn't change any of the names.)

Mata is a cad and a bounder. What is more, he is abominable at whist.

</80_Days_Around_The_World>

The halloween animations are all true stories.. how does he know? He was there in every one of them!

On Wednesdays, Mata writes with whatever hand he does not normally write with, wears all his clothes inside out, and does all his daily routines backwards.

So, he gets up before he goes to bed? He eats through his arse? and he does all this while sleeping?


AMAZING!

Rumour has it that Mata cannot be created or destroyed.

Mata is the derivative of 0.

Mata moonlights as one of those nude models you can eat sushi off of. His most frequent customer is Maggie Smith.

He's also actually the one that created Bo Selecta. It was a punishment for word association.

Mata's true form is a whale.

Mata invented Honey Nut Cheerios so he would be able to say "I'm reading the cereal!" when he discovers something brilliant that he doesn't want the other people he's eating breakfast with knowing about.

Mata owns every games console ever made. He has linked them together in an attempt to take over the world.

Mata is Luke Skywalker's actual father.

For decades, in anticipation of the internet, Mata has been gathering hordes and hordes of the worlds kittens and denying them cheeseburgers and hugs tiem. How did YOU think they got those cute longing faces.

Gross gross gross gross gross.

...

gah..eurgh.

I know what I'll involuntarily dream about.

Mmm, liked that one, didn't you?

Mata and I are actually twins. Going against the general flow of the thread, I am the evil one. He modeled The Corporation after me, and Mr. Snaffleburger after himself to represent the oppression I subject him to.

(and in response to an earlier post about him locking up the mod team and subjecting us to tournaments, I would have won them all! ..if it weren't for that damn CommieBastard. )

Mata is, in fact, a hugging saint:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/7130151.stm

Mata is actually a woman's name but Dr Mata is "taking it back". Like Randall with the term "Porch Monkey" or Vivvian with the name "Vivvian".

I AM VISITING HER!!! I love hugging. I'm going to join the free hugs campain.

Mata has brainwashed penguins into using guns. He is going to take over New Zealand first, then slowly take over the countries surrounding Antarctica until South America is conquered. He will then move north into North America and over the Arctic into Europe until the whole world is his.

mata cannot look up

Mata is agent smith.

That is definitely the life for me. How very lovely. I wonder how you get started doing that?

Get famous for hugging people I guess.

Mata wears short-shorts.

Mata paid everyone to stop posting about him in this thread because he can't live with the truth

Mata wears lacy panties when he eats ice cream.

Mata thinks Jason < Kiefer!

Mata secretly had a foot fetish with his teacher when he was in the 6th grade.

You know that baby in the telitubbies that plays the sun? That's Mata.

ahahaha

Mata is actually the 'Green giant'. Yes from the sweetcorn cans!

I'd love to start a rumour about Mata, but unfortunately it's not possible. On the day I became a mod, he came round, surgically removed my imagination and made me sign a contract never to discuss anything about him, real or imaginary.

And, quite bizarrely, there was this little guy with him, with googly eyes, kept saying stuff about conforming, consuming and obeying.

I did ask for it back at the inaugural Mata meet in Birmingham (all those years ago, *sigh*) but he told me he did that to all the mods and no, I couldn't have it back.

Damn you, Mata, and your imagination stealing ways!

I wondered what that was all about. He had it with him as well, in a Tesco carrierbag. He showed it to me aftr he'd had a couple of beers. It looked sticky.

Mata doesn't shop at Tesco. He just likes the bags. They match his eyes - blue and stripy. With Tesco written on them.

Tell us something we don't know!

Mata wears ice cream when he eats lacy panties.

LMFAO.

I always thought he wears those pants made out of sweets...

like this... http://www.prezzybox.com/data/media/10846.jpg er... not too sure if this pic is suitable for everyone lol...

Mata cannot hop. It is not that he is physically incapable of doing so, rather that he objects to it morally.

Tragic, really, given that he only has one leg...

and an eye patch? and a parrot?

Aye.

Mata can't look up.

Mata has Hobbes under hypnosis so Hobbes can never remember reading Bryden's posts.

Mata emailed Hobbes a virus that prevented him from accessing Matazone for many months.