Mata hypnotised Hobbes into referring to himself in the third person. Thankfully, Industrial Kybosh has never been put under such treatment.

MWAHAHAHAHA.

I mean...

You liar.

I hear Mata got the inspiration for the 9 mouthed baby game from a very crazy month long drinking binge that was spent with a girl with 9 mouths.

We all know that Mata changed his name by deed poll. What we don't know is that his previous name was Einar Orn Benediktsson. Yep, that bloke from The Sugarcubes that couldn't sing and used to just say stuff randomly on record. If you get him drunk you can still persuade him to "sing" his part from 'Regina'.

Ah, The Sugarcubes; formerly Iceland's most successful band and spawn of Iceland's most famous soloist.

Mata likes to sneak into people's houses when they're gone and chew on all their pencils.

Right, you know Big Brother this year? Well, you know they have several "Big Brother" voices in the house? Well, Mata is one of those voices. That's true, is that.

Mata was the one who used your last two tampons. -His hayfever snot was dribbling over his control pad whilst he was playing xBox.

Anytime you enter your kitchen and you realize the last of your favorite snack/drink/foodstuff/alcohol is gone when you thought you had some left, it was Mata removing the last bit while laughing maniacally.

Mata actually told Cheez to try and take his #1 poster spot back.

Mata likes to put skittles in his ears, hold his breath, and make them blow out of his ears like a machine gun.

It's not fun being sat next to him when he does that, I can tell you. He does it with M&Ms too - they melt in your mouth, but not in your ears.

The traditional Scottish dish, haggis, is named after Mata, and not the other way around. Something to do with time-travelling ducks, I'm told...

Or maybe Mata can just generate multiple stomachs and sells them to the scottish market as 'sheep stomach'. You're actually having a slice of genius intestine.

You know how time flies when you're having fun? It's not your perception, it's actually Mata doing that. He steals time off you when you're enjoying yourself because he knows you're too preoccupied to notice him doing it. He then keeps this time for himself, so he can live longer. He's actually 437 years old.

I deliberately tried to lead a boring lifestyle to thwart him, but he just nicked my time when I slept.

Mata stopped time and put a wind up duck in my beer...

It's Mata's fault they canceled firefly.

Mata is the reason that we will never find out about the men in suits with the cool weaponized toys from firefly.

Mata denied my mum's add friend Facebook request. He then emailed her telling her so. Which he followed up with a letter that needed signing for by the addressee only. Just to rub the salt in he phoned her to make sure she got the letter.

Mamma Frog is hoping there will be Whip Cracking workshops at Circus Camp this year.

Mata likes to creep into peoples heads at night so he can point and laugh at their nightmares.

It's Mata's fault that your favorite pen is out of ink. He's on a special ink only diet.

He's storing it in a special pouch to defend himself against his many and various enemies. One threatening gesture and - squirt!. Much like Dr Zoidberg.

Mata stole my lunch, but only after I ate it! I was full for a small period of time anyway...

Well we might now that Joss Whendon has taken a liking to the internet.

As a result of this, Mata is now looking into a way to destroy the internet.

I do actually know a way to break the internet for a day or two; however, I am not a fan of being prosecuted, so I shall keep that one to myself.

But you won't be prosecuted once you execute your secret plan to beam Mr Snaffleburger into everyones brains.

If Mata raises his right eyebrow while closing his left eye, and chewing on his right pinky toe, he can turn anyone he sees into a hermit crab. He was having fun with this a couple years ago, which helped increase the population of hermit crabs and made it quite cool to own one.

..Really?

Mata likes to untie your shoelaces in gym when you're not looking, which is why his team always wins.

Mata writes all the articles for wikipedia

Mata has developed a weather machine, which will allow him to control the weather to his own requirements as and when he needs them. It's a really cool gadget which looks a bit like an old Commodore 64 with the skeleton of an inverted umbrella attached to it. Unfortunately it also comes with a whopping great inverter the size of a shed and draws the same power as a small country. He can't afford the electricity bill to run it.

It's because of this that he can't use it to make it sunny on the days when he goes to extreme frisbee.

Mata is a weather machine. He looks a bit like an old Commodore 64 with the skeleton of an inverted umbrella attached to it.

Yep, that's really true!


Curses! Why oh why is it always so miserable on Thursdays? Also it rained every single Wednesday evening for the first nine months when I was in Winchester, the same day that I walked to my kung fu club (except for the days that it sleeted).

If only I hadn't lost the keys to my secret volcano bunker, I'd have all the geothermic power I need!

... Care to share?

Not that I'd be up to anything, just curious.. >_>

Mata has a third hand that randomly sprouts out of the top of his head. He's a bit self conscious of it though, so he gives his hairdresser a huge tip to remove it when he goes to get a hair cut.

Nope. I rather like the internet and don't want to give anyone ideas.

^

Mata is anti-Izzy-World-Domination.

He also helped develop a smaller, more economical one, it doesn't work properly though and thus the outcome of Project: Sunbeam (who said scientists can't be hippies too) was renamed as 'Rain Inducing Hyper Atmospheric Nullifying Natatory Apperatus', yeah it's a bit of a clunky name and doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but it was the best they could come up with. The use of such a device was recently banned.

That certainly explains the silver appearance. And the reason why it's latest record sounds like it's been run through a tin box.

Oooh, hang on, I just thought of something. Does this mean that the reason South Wales has recently merged with the Bristol Channel, is because of one of Mata's dodgy inventions? So in a way, the whole reason he can't play ultimate frisbee on Thursday is because of his own device malfunctioning and making rain instead of sun. That'll teach him to play god

I heard Mata wasn't really one person but a combined collective collection of random pints of lager untied in dominating the world.


Edit United even...

I heard that Mata has his own large hadron collider under his place.

I heard that Mata has his own large hardon colander under his palace.

I heard that Mata has his own large hadron calander under his house.

I heard that Mata has his own large hadron collider under his plaice

Michael, you misspelled it. 'S a hardon collider that's under mata's house.

(ahahahaha science humor)

I heard that someone stole the LHC under Mata's house.

I heard it was at Run's House. And that Mata is cupid.

Is it true that Mata has a large hydrogenated colander in his playstayshun?

I heard matter's got a lard colon hangglider under his police.

Any more?

I hear Mata can fit dinner plates in his mouth.

I don't need lessons. (Except in modesty, which I really suck at.)

I heard GodMata's a wonderful diety... although he may have an ego problem... CCO