Mata can see into the future. Apparently it's blurry.

Edit: It's amazing! At 7:15am it was blurry!
Well, it was foggy. Eerie Mata, very eerie.

Why has this thread been inactive since 2008! People must know the truth!

• Mata taped over the original moon landing footage.
• If you play all of Mata's animations in chronological order, they sync up perfectly with Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon.
• Mata's novel is actually going to be a choose your own adventure book, except all the choices are "admire the fluffy llamas".
• Mata genetically engineered the swine flu.
• Mata won't show us his birth certificate because he's secretly a muslim who was born on mars. Oh wait, that's Barack Obama...

Mata is Barack Obama.

Mata hits the beat, and takes it to the verse.

Mata doesn't like to hit it and quit it, preferring instead to stay and play. He does however like big butts, and he cannot lie.

Mata's big toe has a mouth, and occasionally will start singing show tunes at random. When he's wearing shoes it sounds kind of muffled so most people just assume he's humming or someone near by is listening to show tunes.

After seeing Mamma Mia! and We Will Rock You!, Mata wrote his own musical based around the songs of Blondie.

Mata is bluffin' with his muffin.

Mata thinks this beat is sick, and wants to take a ride on your disco stick.

(couldn't help it.)

Mata has a chocolate teapot.

Mata is actually Evelyn

Mata is Ted Turner

Mata likes to use old cartoon covered pajamas as carpet.

Funny how you never see Mata and the Google Sketchup Default Male Model (below) in the same room at once?

Hmm...

Mata is number 438 of the world's worst pickup lines.

Mata is in the very soul of every person that tells awkward stories in public places.


However, he also invented Pancakes, both hot and cold tea, and rainbows, so we forgive him.

With just a pan full of pasta, and a jar of Ragu, Mata can feed the five thousand

(actual numbers may vary)

Mata can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read'a my poker face.

Muh-muh-muh-muh.

Mata is You. You are Mata.

Because Mata is the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Mata was originally pencilled in to be on this years "I'm a Celebrity", until they realised that he was still too famous to appear on the show.

And he don't understand how you're number one. See, all he did was blink twice, from his homie to his only.

Damn you Syuu! I'm going to have that stuck in my head for the rest of the day now!

I'm Mata and so's my wife!

I hear Mata talks about himself in the third person.

(Also, 99 pages of rumours! )

Mata sometimes covers himself in guacamole, abducts people, yells at them "I'm an alien wooo!" then does a little jig and lets them go.

There is far too much accuracy in this thread... At least, that's what I heard.

EDIT: WHEEEEEEEEEE! 100 pages of nonsense! Thanks for playing everyone! This thread has made me laugh and smile many times.

Mata thinks Raymond Briggs' "The Snowman" is the gospel, and thus he tries to live his life by its teachings. Walking in the air features prominently.

It's not really 100 pages. If you look closely you'll find that the majority of the posts in this thread are just Mata posting about bunny rabbits.

...and how tasty he finds them.

Mata wanted to be a dentist when he grew up until he saw Alice In Wonderland, at which point he decided his only future was to be the white rabbit.

Mata made me pico de gallo, tacos, and margaritas on Saturday the 28th after I got home from school.

..if this rumor isn't true, I'll be so disappointed.

Mata likes steak tartare.




...made from babies...

Yesterday, out of the corner of my eye I saw Mata wearing a suit and tie, carrying a briefcase. I looked at him, he straightened his tie, brushed down his suit, and walked away.

Mata's G-Man?!!

All that ash over europe caused by a volcano? Absurd. It's Mata's swarm of nanobots he created to destroy us all.

The above post was an effect of all the crack Mata sells Whitney.

According to the dream I had last night, Mata can kill people simply by putting a blue hula hoop over their heads. Clearly prophetic.

Also, I'm now a bit scared to go to Crawley this year! There are far too many hula hoops there for it to be safe with Mata around. And, well, the man is fueled by eating babies! That kind of evil makes you super-fast. None of us will stand a chance.

Mata is worried that he turns up killing people in their dreams (because clearly they are subconsciously onto him).

Or you're actually Freddy Krueger...

The real Nick Clegg is in Mata's loft. He has been in disguise for the past two weeks trying to get into power. From there, he will decommission Trident and put the missiles in his garden. That's the fist step in his plan.

Mata wrote "Smelly Cat". It's about one of his former roommates.

Cand's av is looking back and forth, because Mata is behind her holding a gun to her head and yelling, 'LOOK THAT WAY! NOW THIS WAY! AHAHA, BACK THAT WAY AGAIN!'

it was very traumatic for her.

Mata broke by watch. My thimbs too. I won't miss another payment.

He's also responsible for breaking your avatar.

It's true. He caused archive.org to ignore it, and at least 3 total system losses to prevent me from ever having an avatar again.

Mata is Jack Bauer.

Mata is going to go back in time and alter the evolutionary chain so Izzy only has to memorize one animal phylum for the biology test, not all of them. ..I mean, you will, right?

Mata is a creationist.

Mata denies the benefits of Dudeism.

I invented thimbs. They're like thumbs but on the other side of the hand. Mr Fuzzy has the prototypes.