During his more flippant teenage years, it all started getting to Mata after his friends told him that he couldn't change his name to "Masta" and go on a rapping tour of South America. Poor lad...

Mata has been taking dancing lessons, in order to become the new Fred Astaire. People have been impressed by these new abilities, and Mata's now regarded as the new Ginger Rogers.

Close... but no cigar...

mata works in mcdonalds, and likes to dress as elvis.

Matt Lucas' Little Britain character, Vicky Pollard, was based on Mata.

Mata actually bans people all the time, but, in order to make himself look less unpleasant to other forumites, he creates new accounts, posts as the banned users and establishes angry PM correspondences with himself. Currently he's impersonating about fifteen banned users.

Do you mean that if we illuminated Polo's avatar then we would see Mata's face instead?

Mata was the person who wrote all the bad parts into the rules of the universe.

Mata called Fortran easy.

Mata is the Wizard of Oz hiding behind a big green face in his own little Oz computer world.

Mata commands a small army of evil goats on blimps.

He also has flying monkeys as servants

I am one of those flying monkeys you know... I saw him eating pie.. SCANDAL

Mata turns computers off without shutting them down first!

Mata created the teletubbys.

Now that is truly a malicious rumour.
I hope Mata denies it, otherwise I might have to go elsewhere for my daily dose of random forumites.

p.s. i heard he played Tinky Winky

*loves this thread*

Mata dresses up as Santa for the kiddies at the mall.

He wears it often all year long and looks in the mirror to admire his Santa sexiness.

(You don't mind that I said that, right, Mata? Oh, it was a secret? Woops. )

mata goes around pretending to be charachters from star trek.

Mata is 'Brains' from the original Thunderbirds television series. Gerry Anderson couldn't make a puppet that looked like that, so he superimposed Mata into the action. I think you will find it an almost seamless join.

Unfortunately, Mata's acting was rather wooden...

Mata wrote several thousand STAR TREK fan scripts, thereby earning his alias, Ronald McDonald, the title, "Ultimate Star Trek geek."

Ron... *ahem* Mata, buys seventy bottles of booze on Wednesdays and chucks them at unsuspecting pedestrians from his Mata-mobile/blimp. Secretly, he made the popular "End of the world" flash animation.

mata got his mum to make the animations because it was too hard - he even cried when she told him to do them himself!

Any that don't smash, he collects them up and takes them to the off-licence where he gets 10p each for them.

Salman Rushdie is hiding in Matas broom cupboard

Mata invented Blu-Tak, Post-It Notes, and electric pencil sharpeners.

And dont forget Velcro

*forgets Velcro*

Mata's always getting caught in his zipper

Mata is actually the only one on the planet, but dresses up as other people, and moves about so fast it Looks like there are Six Billion of him... He's typing this, at this very moment, pretending to be a 44 year old South Carolinian...

Mata has made life size models of all the thunderbirds

Mattel modelled Barbie on Mata.

It's true: Mata's knees don't bend either.

In either one of "The Q Continuum" books or the "IQ" book, Q visits one of the other omnipotent races called the 'M' I reckon mata is one of the M beings (probably the one that said "Your mother..." to Q)

Mata is a Java applet.

Mata is actually a hologram being used by powerful computers from a long dead (but advanced - too advanced for their own good) civilisation.

For thousands of years the computers have been in a deep hibernation but now they have awoken(sp?) and decided that animations are the best way to accrue the neccesary followers for their world domination plans.

Quick! Flee the forums, it's all a trap.

Mata is, quite horrifically, a really down-to-earth, charming and moreover NORMAL guy, with a good home, a stable relationship with a great woman, prospects for the future, good friends and a reaonable source of income. Did these things have to be lies, by the way?

You know in films, right? Well, you know in films where the man with the other man run along and get the thing that everyone's looking for? Well, when they run along and there's that other guy behind them, that's chasing them because he wants that thing they are looking for, too? Right? Well, the boss of that man who's chasing them, he's got one of those sidekick type people yeah? Remember, yeah? Well, if you look at him in the film, he usually talks to this person in a cafe or a pub or a car park or a shop or somewhere doesn't he? Yup, so anyway, if you listen to what he says, he mentions some guy he knew somewhere, and so that person he is speaking to has to go off and find this guy he knew. And when he gets there, he speaks to that guy.

Well, I heard that Mata might be that guy.

Mr Snaffleburger's voice is Mata's normal voice. For the others, he's acting.

Mata actually IS Mr Snaffleburger...

Mata therefore is not real. He and all others concerned are just made up stuff intended to make Mr Snaffleburger/Mata feel that he has friends. Hang on a minute that would make everyone on here in fact not real. Which means that I'm not really writing this post and therefore not exposing Mata for what he really is- the man who created Mr Snaffle burger... who is in fact him who does not exist... therefore Mr Snaffleburger and everyone on this website does not exist... I'm confused!

Mata played the bad guy (Geoffrey) from TRON.

Mata puts an apostrophe in "its" when it's possessive.

ooooh.. I hate apostrophes.. I don't know when to put them after the s and before with the whole plural ladida thing.. ARGH...

anyway, Mata is the true author of 'The Return of The Bunny Suicides'.

Best... Book... Ever!

Well, that and the 'Book of Bunny Suicides'.
And some others.

Best... Book featuring suicidal bunnies... Ever!

Ooooh, boy, I've just had the temptation to say 'lol'. *Note to self: must resist msn talk...*

Anyway, yep, very funny book, but awwwwwww my heart melted at those li'l bunnies and..... oh my gosh... wooo... that didn't feel good.. umm.. ok. perhaps my heart melting wasn't such a good idea.. hohum

Mata is the Candyman

Mata makes all those promotional CDs/DVDs you get in Sunday newspapers.

Mata came up with the idea of AOL free trial disks!

Ooh... some people in my Latin class were looking at that book under the desk in a lesson and the teacher couldn't understand why evil laughter was coming from the back of the classroom!

Mata's favourite food is spam. The "edible" kind. And probably the online kind too, come to think of it.

Mata doesn't like Onken yogurt.

Mata is the Encyclopedia Brittanica in a human suit

Mata still plays with action man.

Mata does the voiceover on the Action Man adverts on TV.

and drinks from the toilet!