To make himself seem more popular, Mata made up a load of extra accounts for himself on this board. So many, in fact, that the only real member here is you.

Mata likes to make raffia weavework baskets in his spare time...
He is planning to wear his most treasured one as a fetching hat at the London meet

Ah, now I understand why you've received two nominations for Funniest User.


Also, residents of Mata today announced their decision to abandon its uppermost reaches, in order to provide a breeding ground for the rare species of seagull, Mata Rumoralus.

so, mata just made up a rumor about himself?

Mata Lives in a pinapple under the sea....

Mata plays "the getaway" pinball at the car dealership every day.

So do I!

Mata found his thrill on Blueberry hill...

Mata and Quoth are Long lost cousins!

Mata once threw a violin at a vicar (at great velocity), whilst extolling the virtues of the letter 'V'.

If I just made the word extolling up, then I apologise

Mata invented the word extolling in the year 1786. He then made a dictionary which consisted only of the word squirrals

+

Means that I am Mata, and thus I did make up the word, therefore I apologise.

I just had a de ja vu... but that is beside the point.

Don't you see it! It's all tying in! Mata has finally admitted to being one of the other users on this board! You see, he uses this thread to make all his confessions so that he doesn't feel so guilty!

Mata is me.

Mata's printer only prints diagnostics.

Mata= Make All Transactions Automatic

Mata Haggis
is an anagram of
Its A Ham Gag

A coincedence? I think not! What meat-based humour does Mata have in store for us? It worries me, and I think it should worry you all!

But then, another anagram is Ash At Ma Gig, which implies an awful fire at a public event. Does Mata's evil never end?

You are a genius. You realise that, don't you?

However, you may not be aware that all your genius stems from drugs Mata makes in his basement and secretly slips into your orange juice in the morning.

Mata is jealous of Hobbes' sense of humour and plans to steal it and his mojo with a very large syringe

Not Again!

Pssst... did you know about Mata's two secret organisations (Mata.org.uk and Mata.org?).

My gast is well and truly flabbered.

AArgh! He intends on driving us around in an old Southerner's taxi! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

Mata only buys the Special Editions of DVDs.

"Concept Art!" he screams, whilst browsing the extras.

And an anagram of Matazone Haggis is Maggots in a haze.

Not quite as good, but hell.

Also there is Eat Amazing Hogs, and Amazing Tea Hogs. Not to forget A Nazi Mega Ghost and He's A Maggot Nazi. And the less amazing Amazing Ego Hats.

Mata is the lone man in Edward Hopper's Nighthawks

Mata lives in the forefinger of Kermit the Frog, which I imagine would be *most* uncomfortable.

(also:


*Errhmmms loudly* We're waiting, Mata.)

If you ever ask Mata what the time is, he will always reply "Chickenpox? At nine in the morning? Well I never!"

Mata would like to thank the Academy.... but he finds himself unable to every time the occasion arises.

I'll field this, as I did publish the rumour initially.
Mata is, indeed, releasing his own 2005 bikini calendar. But, he's not releasing it until 2054. I predict disappointing sales figures.

Mata watches the Watchmen!

Mata put the Ram in the Ram-a-Lam-a-Ding-Dong!

Mata axed 'Rex the Runt' ("It's time for some doggy dialogue!").

Mata believes it's unlucky to sleep on a thursday night, so he hires three blind monks to keep him awake.

What he doesnt realise is that the monks actually hypnotize him every friday morning to make him think he's stayed awake all night, while really they let him drift off and use the time to insert subliminal messages into the animations.

Mata flicks your ear when it's really cold.

mata answers the phone with "I like p-o-t-a-t-o-e-s!"
Unless it's a telemarketer, then he says "hello"

Mata is responsible for weird road signs

Mata once hand-modelled for Kleneze under the psuedonym Eliza Darlingworth

Mata didn't finish his geography homework. *tsk tsk*

He also twists them and tells you to squeel like a piggy.

Mata wakes people up by putting snow on their back.

On thursday last week, a man was found dressed in a bear costume, wandering in the New Forest. Since then, the only thing he has said is the word 'Mata' repeated over and over again.

Mata got me and Rick sick.

Mata made up the "I know a song that will get on your nerves" song

The top half of Mata lives at the North Pole, whereas the bottom part of Mata lives at the North Pole.

Get on my nerves (get on my nerves?)? He knows a song that'll get on my nerves, get on my nerves (get on my nerves)?

Nah, don't believe it myself.


Mata is the unknown individual, infiltrating the background of all your family-holiday photos.

Mata named the safety pin the safety pin. Safe my elbow, they're out to get my finger I tell you...

Mata blinks whenever you take a photo of him.

Mata steals the glue that holds magazine bindings together.

One of Mata's hobbies is building habitats for humanity out of staples- my dorm is currently made of said staples.

That one is half true. There are actually several dozen doubles of me that travel the world. They keep tabs of where I am to make sure that I will never meet any of them. They do this so that whenever I meet anyone new they will always say to me 'You really remind me of a guy I know...'

I saw someone with your eyes the other week. I swear it! Did you sell them on ebay, coz you're so skint?

Mata = Makes a Terrific Anagram

Mata= Maps Are Too Anachronistic