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RandomGoth
God's Gothic Warrior

I have hit the ground running
I have a singular mission
To spread his love to those unknowing
I must preach of his name in the underground scene
I am gothic for him
He is my lord and king
My heart is bursting with praise
My soul is singing with glory
I must spread the word
This is my cause.
I will advance under a banner of love
His warrior in prayer
Gothic for him,
Gothic for God
Warrior of love!
I rise up and pray in the darkness
His crimson blood empowers me
His fire glows in my heart
With his love I break the shackles of darkness!
With his power I free the souls of the lost.
His word is my sword
My faith is my shield!
With his love I shall fight!
Gothic for him
Gothic for God
Warrior of God!
The power of darkness shall fall
It is no match for his love
His light shines brighter each day
I shall be his WARRIOR!



© Copyright 2004 RandomGoth (FictionPress ID:373522). All rights reserved. Distribution of any kind is prohibited without the written consent of RandomGoth.

Yours in randomness!
RG
MistressAlti
I actually kind of like it. The topic matter intrigues me.
Righteous
That's bad-ass, Random. Do you write a lot of this kind of stuff?
PsychWardMike
Hmm... Christian death metal. I like the non-angstiness of it, I really do. My problem is is that there are simply no real poetic devices, comprende? It could use work and a little masking, but there is potential.
RandomGoth
QUOTE
That's bad-ass, Random. Do you write a lot of this kind of stuff?


Righteous- Yup, I write all the time, ok not really to a very good standard but I am finding that with each poem I am starting to improve from my early attempts.

QUOTE
Hmm... Christian death metal. I like the non-angstiness of it, I really do. My problem is is that there are simply no real poetic devices, comprende? It could use work and a little masking, but there is potential.


PsychWardMike - Heh, thanks mike...I'm glad you enjoyed the non angstiness of it biggrin.gif Tis not really death metal my friend more metal in general. My poetry generally is angsty but there is the occasional oasis of happiness in the middle biggrin.gif. I understand where you are coming from when you say I have no real poetry devices, this would probably stem from my lack of knowledge of these things. I would be glad of some pointers.
*smiles sweetly*

Thanks for all the comments guys!
Yours in randomness!
RG
PsychWardMike
Hmm... pointers.

Okay: metaphors - use them, but be creative. A metaphor is a direct comparison used for effect - you can use them frequently, but make them varied and stuff.

Simile - use sparingly. It's a metaphor using "like" or "as." They get used frequently, so try to trim down - metaphors are better.

Oxymoron - Two opposites that make a cohesive image. Cruel kindness, military intellignence, honest politician, decaf coffee, painful pleasure... the like. Make sure that you use them moderately, but as always, make them original (I can't begin to count the amount of times I've read "black roses" or "black fire.")

Imagery - you have some, but develop it.

Rhyme and Syllabal scheme - It adds to the flow. Open/Free verse is all well and good, but it often fives the impression of prose with random interjections of the enter keys.

Hyperbole - A ridiculous comparison "hotter than the sun" or some such. Make them creative and original and use sparingly.

---

There are more, but that's a good start. Hope I helped.
Quoth(The Raven)
Ummm... This may sound strange, coming from a non-Christian... But shouldn't the pronouns be Capitalised? I mean, you DO consider Christ to be God on earth, don't you? wink.gif
RandomGoth
QUOTE (Quoth(The Raven) @ Oct 13 2004, 04:12 AM)
Ummm... This may sound strange, coming from a non-Christian... But shouldn't the pronouns be Capitalised?  I mean, you DO consider Christ to be God on earth, don't you? wink.gif
*


Erm, it is capitalised!?


PsychWardMike - biggrin.gif thanks for the pointers, I shall take them into account. Tis much appreciated.
Yours in randomness!
RG
Greeneyes
I think what Quoth meant was that usually pronouns (ie, 'his') are capitalised when referring to the christian god.

Thus, "To spread his love to those unknowing" would be "To spread His love to those unknowing", and "preach of his name" would be "preach of His name".

Nice song though.
Tigersong
Actually, that's not very common practice these days to capitalize the "His." Some people and denominations still do it, but it's a bit old fashioned these days. It comes from the Tradition of Randomly capitalizing Words in the Bible in Days of Yore.
Quoth(The Raven)
QUOTE (Greeneyes @ Oct 13 2004, 02:39 PM)
I think what Quoth meant was that usually pronouns (ie, 'his') are capitalised when referring to the christian god.

Thus, "To spread his love to those unknowing" would be "To spread His love to those unknowing", and "preach of his name" would be "preach of His name".

Nice song though.
*


Yep, that's what I meant. She capitalised only the first letter of each line... but not the pronouns within each line. Call me old fashioned, but if you're going to honor your Creator (Whoever/Whatever He/She/It happens to be...), you should at least differentiate that Being from (His/Her/It's) followers...

And, thanks, Greeneyes...
RandomGoth
Hey all who asked me about the lack of capatilisation, I have shown this to my church youth group leader and he agreed with Tigersong. Uhm, I tried capitilising it and I felt it looked wrong...Thanks for all the comments though.
Yours in randomness!
RG
Tarantio
QUOTE (Tigersong @ Oct 13 2004, 06:42 PM)
Actually, that's not very common practice these days to capitalize the "His."¬ Some people and denominations still do it, but it's a bit old fashioned these days.¬ It comes from the Tradition of Randomly capitalizing Words in the Bible in Days of Yore.
*


Actually, as a Catholic I can tell you its not from random capitalisations. Every print of the Bible, or at least the one they taught us at school, constantly refers to God as Him, or His, or Whatever... It's just the way it is, like it gives Him some sort of authoritative name. Which, according to the religion, he should have.

I find it rather embarrassing, being someone on the verge of renouncing my faith, but whenever I write about God I find myself automatically calling Him Him. It's just been sorta ingrained in on us over the years at catholic schools.

p.s. I suppose I should probably comment on the poetry too. It sounds good, if a little unfocussed. It sounds a little more like a chant or a litany than actual poetry, quite impersonal. Maybe you should write more about what you do, instead of what He does through you. Because, to be quite frank, I've heard what He does almost every day of my life, and its droll, boring and a whole bunch of crap, mostly. I much prefer the morals of the religion to the actual religion itself. Damn church...
Black-Wings
biggrin.gif
QUOTE
Oxymoron - Two opposites that make a cohesive image. Cruel kindness, military intellignence, honest politician, decaf coffee, painful pleasure... the like.
Just thought I'd add another one.. Microsoft works
ravein
QUOTE
I find it rather embarrassing, being someone on the verge of renouncing my faith, but whenever I write about God I find myself automatically calling Him Him. It's just been sorta ingrained in on us over the years at catholic schools.


God is going to get mad if you keep calling Her a Him. tongue.gif

Now on to the poetry, do not let grammar be a barrier to self-expression. Wright what strikes you, how it strikes you. Just make sure that it is understandable. No one dictates the artist’s brush other than the artist. Unless you are trying to make money then it is the buyer! Do what moves you.
Righteous
Hey Random, have you ever heard of the band Living Sacrifice? Here's a song I posted and here's their site. I got a sampler from a chick from my church who coulldn't listen to it because, "it's just way too hard for me." They kick major ass. They're like Christian black metal. You might like them.
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