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Wyvern
Conversation with a mate today raised an interesting problem regarding fairies.

If happy thoughts and actions produce fairies in large numbers aren't they in severe danger of over populating certain areas leading to mass starvation amoungst their numbers.
The question therefore arises should we transport them to less fortunate areas or at least those places not plagued by small winged bitey creatures with the irritating tendency to shed glitter everywhere! or should a carefully controlled cull be carried out whenever an excessively positive event occurs.

I ask this not because the dratted creatures are driving me nuts with their tinkling bells and lights when Im trying to snooze in my duct tape cocoon nicking my cookies and...

*dissolves into a minor rant and lobs one of caths grenades at a passing fairy*

sorry composure now regained.

I am genuinly concerned for their well being... honest.
Snugglebum the Destroyer
QUOTE
If happy thoughts and actions produce fairies in large numbers aren't they in severe danger of over populating certain areas leading to mass starvation amoungst their numbers.


Nope - in my experience, not that many people are happy at the same time, in the same place. biggrin.gif
Wyvern
True but these fairies dont seem to travel far perhaps they need help dispersing might make people smile a little.
Snugglebum the Destroyer
They visit me on a regular basis - I smile plenty. biggrin.gif

Perhaps I SHOULD share...
Spacehappy
QUOTE (Wyvern @ Oct 12 2004, 09:26 PM)
True but these fairies dont seem to travel far perhaps they need help dispersing might make people smile a little.
*


I personally help all Fairies disperse by kicking them up there lazy butts, as far as the eye can see smile.gif
Wyvern
Aah! so you've met my particular brand of fairy annoying little critters and sooo persistant when it comes to nicking my stuff do they travel far enough when assisted by a boot though?
Sharing could be an answer, gift wrap one for halloween, or christmas that might work hmm.... box, tape, cookie as bait hmm, potential......

*rustling noises from inside duct tape*
Ashbless
I find the cat tends to eat them. The few that survive are wary critters and not really all that annoying. tongue.gif
I kinda wish there were a few more around. unsure.gif

Anybody read Lady Chatterley's book of pressed fairies? Real book. Check your local bookstore. Mayhap another way to keep down the fairy population. laugh.gif
Snugglebum the Destroyer
QUOTE
Anybody read Lady Chatterley's book of pressed fairies? Real book. Check your local bookstore. Mayhap another way to keep down the fairy population.


I have the Chatterley's book, her photo album and the Good Faerie/Bad Faerie book!!

don't make me quote Brian Froud on you *wags finger*
Quoth(The Raven)
Are you sure they were Fairies? In my experience, Sprites are more annoying... 'Course, Brownies (House spirits) are more common than both, and do a lot of the annoying stuff Ghosts get blamed for... wink.gif
Cath Sparrow
QUOTE (Snugglebum the Destroyer @ Oct 13 2004, 01:25 AM)
QUOTE
Anybody read Lady Chatterley's book of pressed fairies? Real book. Check your local bookstore. Mayhap another way to keep down the fairy population.


I have the Chatterley's book, her photo album and the Good Faerie/Bad Faerie book!!

don't make me quote Brian Froud on you *wags finger*
*




Have you got the book of Goblins?

Erin this convo wouldn't have been between you and Abi by any chance?
I go with Space's atitude kick over the next hill!!! evil.gif
Hobbes
QUOTE (Wyvern @ Oct 12 2004, 09:11 PM)
If happy thoughts and actions produce fairies in large numbers aren't they in severe danger of over populating certain areas leading to mass starvation amoungst their numbers?
*


They're only little - I can get 40 in a cage.
Snugglebum the Destroyer
QUOTE
Have you got the book of Goblins?


Not as yet, I should imagine that it will find it's way into my bookcase eventually though. rolleyes.gif
Wyvern
[QUOTE]Erin this convo wouldn't have been between you and Abi by any chance?
I go with Space's atitude kick over the next hill!!! evil.gif
*

[/quote][/QUOTE]


Nope it was me attempting to freak out Dapper DAn and guess what it worked! biggrin.gif
Wyvern
QUOTE (Quoth(The Raven) @ Oct 13 2004, 04:36 AM)
Are you sure they were Fairies?  In my experience, Sprites are more annoying... 'Course, Brownies (House spirits) are more common than both, and do a lot of the annoying stuff Ghosts get blamed for... wink.gif
*



Oh they are definately fairies! Far too much dust for sprites very sparkly but doesnt come off easily any dispersal method needs to come with clean up crews Im starting to look like a glow worm up here!

*switches off lights with no noticable difference to light in room*

see anyone want an animated light bulb?
Mutilation
It's a shame they don't exist, because then we could say how ridiculous the idea was in the first place.
Cath Sparrow
[quote=Wyvern,Oct 13 2004, 10:40 PM]
[QUOTE]Erin this convo wouldn't have been between you and Abi by any chance?
I go with Space's atitude kick over the next hill!!! evil.gif
*

[/quote][/QUOTE]


Nope it was me attempting to freak out Dapper DAn and guess what it worked! biggrin.gif
*

[/quote]

Not that difficult really! Poor innocent boy! evil.gif How's he doing?

*turns hose pipe on Erin* Let's see if this'll work evil.gif
Wyvern
QUOTE
Not that difficult really! Poor innocent boy! evil.gif  How's he doing?

*turns hose pipe on Erin* Let's see if this'll work evil.gif
*


EEP!
That was cold don't you have a warm tap?
Still glowing though this is going to make sneaking around in dark corners Veerry tricky and Im leaving soggy footprints...and they glow * inspects floor and sniffles* No Fair! how am I expected to ambush people in this state?
Anyone got a brillo pad somethings got to get this off!

Pesky fairies..

That's it... I say kill 'em all they steal my cookies, curb my lurking and generally plague me, no more humane methods THEY HAVE GOT TO GO!
Can I borrow one of those cages please and perhaps a Cat...Please?

Oh yes Dans fine or is until I send him a few extra winged critters...hehe...
Cath Sparrow
Tee Hee! here have some of mine to send him to!
*gets out a huge butterfly net and catches a load then steam rollers them* Yay! fairy jam!
LindyLouWho
... oh ewww ... the guts always get stuck in my teeth... like the seeds in stawberry jam
Faerieryn
QUOTE (Mutilation @ Oct 14 2004, 06:20 AM)
It's a shame they don't exist, because then we could say how ridiculous the idea was in the first place.
*




NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! How can you say that faeries don't exist! If that were so then that would mean that when things go missing, or a tenner turns up in your wallet mysteriously that it is just us loosing our minds and not the little faeries toying with us. OH and where Would myself, the lil pie faerie and many others fit in?
Wyvern
QUOTE
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! How can you say that faeries don't exist! If that were so then that would mean that when things go missing, or a tenner turns up in your wallet mysteriously that it is just us loosing our minds and not the little faeries toying with us. OH and where Would myself, the lil pie faerie and many others fit in?
*


Well generally those events mean that we are loosing our minds its just that the fairies are helping accelerate the process! I also get the feeling that there will always be a place for some fairies just as long as they avoid being culled or relocated. It'd be a very sad world without them we all need fairies even if its just to provide nuisance value!

Even I'd miss em!
Cath Sparrow
QUOTE (Wyvern @ Oct 17 2004, 08:45 PM)
QUOTE
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! How can you say that faeries don't exist! If that were so then that would mean that when things go missing, or a tenner turns up in your wallet mysteriously that it is just us loosing our minds and not the little faeries toying with us. OH and where Would myself, the lil pie faerie and many others fit in?
*


Well generally those events mean that we are loosing our minds its just that the fairies are helping accelerate the process! I also get the feeling that there will always be a place for some fairies just as long as they avoid being culled or relocated. It'd be a very sad world without them we all need fairies even if its just to provide nuisance value!

Even I'd miss em!
*



You best not cull this Fairy cause this who I invited up to Abi's for halloween!

*makes up a batch of fairy cakes to go with the jam*
evil.gif evil.gif
Kitty
Mmm. The kind of faerie that I've met up with recently.... Queen Mab. Anyone familiar with? I shall recite from memory....

O, then I see, Queen Mab hath been with you
She is the faeries midwife and comes in shape no bigger than an agate stone on the forefinger of an alderman, drawn by a team of little atomies athwart mens noses as they lie asleep. Her wagon spokes made of long spinners legs the cover of wings of grasshoppers, the traces of the smallest spiders web, her whip of cricket bone the lash of film, the collars of a moonshines watery beams. Her chariot an empty hazelnut made by the joiner squirrel or old grub, time out o' mind the faeries coachmakers. And in this state she gallops night by night through lovers dreams and then they dream of love! Over courtiers knees that dream on courtsies straight over lawers fingers that straight dream on fees, over ladies lips who straight on kisses dreams.... which oft the angry Mab with blister plagues, because their breaths with sweetmeats tainted are. Sometimes she gallops over a courtiers nose, then dreams he of smelling out a suit, and sometimes come she with a tithe-pigs tail, tickling a parsons' nose as a lies asleep, then dreams he of another benifice. Sometimes she gallops over a soldiers neck, then dreams he of smelling out a suit, of breaches, ambuscodes, of spanish blades, of health five fathoms deep and then anon drums in his ear at which he starts and wakes, being thus frightened, swears a prayr or two and sleeps again. This is the verry Mab that plats the manes of horses in the night and bakes the elflocks in foul sluttish hairs, which once untangled much misfortune bodes. This is the very mab that when maids lie on their backs that presses them and learns them first to bear, making them women of good carrige! This is she---

Romeo interrupts there.... but Mercutio makes a lovely speech about an evil Faeire.... eh? sorry that was so long....
Wyvern
QUOTE
You best not cull this Fairy cause this who I invited up to Abi's for halloween!


In which case m'dear you need to put a tag on it for me something noticable at distance I don't want to make a mistake I wouldn't forgive myself for at least....um... a week? wink.gif

However a fairy recommended by you can go on my special preservation list...lets see that makes one so far! tongue.gif
Wyvern
QUOTE
sorry that was so long....


Wow! am much impressed by the extent of your memory on such a sneaky subject matter! *stands back in awe* Evil fairies have their uses and provide much entertainment perhaps a second list should be set up to preserve the best examples...any suggestions?
Black-Wings
are fairies real????????
Cath Sparrow
*Puts BIG SHINEY TAG on Farieryn* There we go is that good enough for you?
Wyvern
QUOTE (Black-Wings @ Oct 19 2004, 05:45 PM)
are fairies real????????
*



Of course! By your question Im asuming you havent run into any yet... in which case I offer my congratulations you are extremely lucky!!!
However here's the downside now you've confessed you ignorance they will feel compelled to bombard you continually until you are convinced of the error of your ways....for this sad fate I offer my condolences.

*pats shoulder*
Would you like to borrow a cage Im sure theres a spare one some where, or a duct tape fairy strip works just like fly paper....Good luck!

*wonders off trailing luminous dust*
Wyvern
QUOTE (Cath @ Oct 19 2004, 05:59 PM)
*Puts BIG SHINEY TAG on Farieryn* There we go is that good enough for you?
*



Superb, just don't forget to warn her it needs to be visible at ALL times!
mooooooooooopo
*Tapes black wings and several passing fairys to the ceiling*

Welcome to the forum. You don't seem to have a thread in the introductions forum so I had to tape you here. You should probably go post there too so the others will give you all manner of yummy and explodey goodies.
Wyvern
QUOTE
*Tapes black wings and several passing fairys to the ceiling*


Fantastic those fairies were asking for it!
Are you convinced yet young noob? chat to the little blighters see what you think! Oh Yes and have a cookie it'll get you away from the pesky critters sooner so eat up *Hands up extra large cookie* you'll fall down eventually about eight or nine more snacks I reckon give or take pie better get comfy!
laenan kite
fairy killing my favorite sport.ill b carefull not to kill shiney tagged fairys.have you tried putting out poisened bread and milk?they love it, and cyanide makes them explode in the most satisfying of ways biggrin.gif
Cath Sparrow
QUOTE (moop @ Oct 19 2004, 07:21 PM)
*Tapes black wings and several passing fairys to the ceiling*

Welcome to the forum. You don't seem to have a thread in the introductions forum so I had to tape you here. You should probably go post there too so the others will give you all manner of yummy and explodey goodies.
*



Oh! here's another traditional welcome for Noobs. Hi Blackwings.

*stick granade to Blackwings pulls pin and runs*

Nobody disarm this one it'll get rid of a nice load of faries!! evil.gif
Quoth(The Raven)
QUOTE (Cath @ Oct 19 2004, 02:43 PM)
Oh! here's another traditional welcome for Noobs. Hi Blackwings.

*stick granade to Blackwings pulls pin and runs*

Nobody disarm this one it'll get rid of a nice load of faries!! evil.gif
*


Hmmmm. Okay, but I'll leave a tube of superglue in the corner, so Blackwings(Cool name, by the way) can glue all His/her bits back into place (saves all that time, sewing...). oops. The fairies got hold of it... Now they're opening the tube...
Aaaaah! Fairies armed with super glue! Run away, run away! laugh.gif
Wyvern
QUOTE
Hmmmm. Okay, but I'll leave a tube of superglue in the corner, so Blackwings(Cool name, by the way) can glue all His/her bits back into place (saves all that time, sewing...).  oops.  The fairies got hold of it... Now they're opening the tube...
Aaaaah!  Fairies armed with super glue!  Run away, run away!  laugh.gif


EMERGENCY SITUATION! Cordon off the area!
Those Fairies MUST NOT GET OUT!


Ok right be calm *dons encounter suit and enters room* We just need to move Blackwings to a safer location...um...lets see Cath care to assist?


I hope you believe in fairies now or we leave you...hmm?
Cath Sparrow
*starts legging it round after fairies (Cath is already glue resistant due to people trying to get there revenge on the granades)*
Faerieryn
What about the lil pie fairy?
*Looks down at big shiny label hanging round her neck* Oooooh..... Shiny!!! *spends the next five minutes trying to disentangle herself from the string
Wyvern
QUOTE
What about the lil pie fairy?



Hmm...yes fairy number two has been highlighted, how could I neglect to preserve lil pie fairy? My humblest apologies.
*pins shiney tag to lil pie fairy admires handywork*

But I notice still no suggestions for preservation on the evil list apart from Mab surely there must be few more decent critters out there! They cant all be pests...can they? unsure.gif

Also any suggestions for solving this new superglue menace Ive already noticed seriously sticky patches appearing outside this area! Eep! Containment has been breached! They must be stopped before they get hold of any explosives or things could get really tricky..... blink.gif
Smiler
How about old King Auberon? He generally turns out as a bit of a git for various reasons, getting his subjects to ensnare and trap people in the Fae kingdom by getting them to eat offered Fae food for starters! I know he's more Fae than Fairy, I didnt really want to get into semantics cos it'd hurt my head but he's similiar. I always wondered what that was all about. Eternal life in the Fae kingdom wouldnt be that bad would it or would you be reduced to scivvy bods that have to polish wings and toadstall party chairs?

I'm definately guilty of using boots where fairys dont want 'em. You kinda let some go but on occasion...well... nuf sed!

And I cannot tell you how hard it is not see the resemblance between taped up fairys and Daddy-Long-Legs wink.gif ohmy.gif dear Bob I hope I've not made mistakes in the past and squished a few by mistake...... sad.gif erm no, wait dry.gif Definately no mistakes, no squieemish pipings of mercy, must've been DLLs. Does that make me a bad person?
Faerieryn
*Still trying to disentangle herself and admire the tag at the same time...*

Faeries are important to the survival of mankind. Wo else would make sure that large amounts of WOMD disappear right in fron of Blair and Bush's eyes?

*Evil Laugh*
Wyvern
QUOTE
How about old King Auberon? He generally turns out as a bit of a git for various reasons, getting his subjects to ensnare and trap people in the Fae kingdom by getting them to eat offered Fae food for starters!


Yep I think his majesty is close enough and tricksie enough to join Mab on our evil preservation list although judging by Faerieryn's last comment its a close run thing as to which list she should be on! Also do I spot similarity here with using food entrapment Im pretty sure...In fact definately, yes absolutely positive thats how I ended up here... hmm?

QUOTE
Eternal life in the Fae kingdom wouldnt be that bad would it or would you be reduced to scivvy bods that have to polish wings and toadstall party chairs?


Just let em try it!!!
*grins, displaying small but VERY sharp teeth!* evil.gif

QUOTE
I'm definately guilty of using boots where fairys dont want 'em. You kinda let some go but on occasion...well... nuf sed!

And I cannot tell you how hard it is not see the resemblance between taped up fairys and Daddy-Long-Legs wink.gif  ohmy.gif  dear Bob I hope I've not made mistakes in the past and squished a few by mistake...... sad.gif  erm no, wait dry.gif  Definately no mistakes, no squieemish pipings of mercy, must've been DLLs. Does that make me a bad person?


Arent we all?...no..um I might feel a tiny guilt pang blink.gif ...hang on ....nope sorry unsure.gif was my stomach *rummages out cookie, starts munching*
Admittedly not any with shiney tags but so far we only have four of those, plenty of targets left! hehe evil.gif
Smiler
I'm sure it was fairys that were instigated in my 'misplacing' my sanity. I dont know if the sanity was fully there before, but considering they kept up the voices in my head, I recon its only right they stop using the loud-hailer now.
Faerieryn
We faeries don't shout we just say the same things over and over and over again until you think that you're not actually hearing us just yourself and your conscience telling you to do the right thing. We don't do bad things though co that would make us naughty faeries which we aren't. We just play jokes on people like putting that big bump under george Bush's coat. It wasn't me who pulled that one but it does look like the handywork of a faerie (bloody funny too!)
Wyvern
QUOTE (Smiler @ Oct 25 2004, 10:11 PM)
I'm sure it was fairys that were instigated in my 'misplacing' my sanity. I dont know if the sanity was fully there before, but considering they kept up the voices in my head, I recon its only right they stop using the loud-hailer now.
*



Nah afraid they probably can't not with all the superglue around at the moment they're probably stuck to it...and to you!

My suggestion find some Really good solvent!

However on the sanity front it's stolen not misplaced and you're going to have a problem getting it back last I saw it was being swapped for an ounce of magnesium *shrugs* probably not a wise idea to track it down immediately unless you really are desperate. Can you cope without it for a short while?
Wyvern
QUOTE
We faeries don't shout we just say the same things over and over and over again until you think that you're not actually hearing us just yourself and your conscience telling you to do the right thing. We don't do bad things though co that would make us naughty faeries which we aren't.


Hmm...Im not convinced that its safe to trust anything a fairy says in defense of their actions...far too tricky and likely to end in tears or glue, not something I'd recommend with that magnesium on the loose!
Faerieryn
You should always trust faeries. We never lie unless we have to! unsure.gif
Cath Sparrow
Can we tag Puck? He's cool! dry.gif
Smiler
Hmmm can I cope without my sanity???? I would let ya know but the voices are telling me not to.

OO oo oo! What about Piskies on the baddie list as well? Not Pixies although someone else may want to add them, but arent Piskies fairys of some ilk or kin? I'm sketchy but dont the do bad things unless an ofering or appeasement of small grub and drink is left out every night? Anyone enlighten me?
Faerieryn
Piskies are a cornish variety of pixie. They are annoying but quie a fw are probably under wtarer right now so piskies are probably quite low on population right now
Smiler
Hmmm, ya see, if mother nature's drowning out those Pixies it cant be too long before the natural cull might happen as Wyvern's worried about
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