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Medae
Amusing stories about giving or receiving "the talk?"

I was about three when I asked my mom, and she was naturally terrified to give me the talk, but afterwards I looked at her and said, "That was such a good story. Can I hear it again?" This, of course, consisted mainly of the basic mechanics of sex, fertilization, and fetal growth. blink.gif
Righteous
I never really got a talk. My folks just leaked bits and pieces of information. The rest I got from reading or my peers, many of whom knew jack sh*t. Eventually sex ed in fifth grade came and it was downhill from there.
Snugglebum the Destroyer
We had a pop up book - I kid you not!!!

And no - it wasn't THAT type of pop up book (smutty gits tongue.gif ). It was all about fellopian tubes, embryos and that technical side of sex and stuff that you don't think about.
insanepercussion
it took my mom like.. two days to explain to me how babies were made.. but i never really got the sex talk.. just, dont do it til your ready..
Mata
I believe that the only lasting lesson I got on sex education during my teenage years was 'it's the middle hole'. That's biology class for you.

I learnt about the clitoris from half a page at the back of a men's health magazine. It stood me in good stead!
Sir Psycho Sexy
I don't think I ever really got the talk, my mum tried, but I just said something like "mum, I know what you're going to say, so lets not talk about it and pretend we did"

I think most of it I cobbled together myself and from the two sex education classes I had tongue.gif (yes, I had two!)
Xkitsurabamix
My sister taught me a lot about these things happy.gif She educated me on all of the basics,
Sex, drugs, rock 'n roll...
She was very much my role model
Forever Unknown
QUOTE
We had a pop up book - I kid you not!!!

And no - it wasn't THAT type of pop up book (smutty gits  ). It was all about fellopian tubes, embryos and that technical side of sex and stuff that you don't think about.


Yeah, I got that too. It didn't help much.

Our parents are crap...
Usurper MrTeapot
QUOTE (Sir_Psycho_Sexy @ Nov 13 2004, 01:08 AM)
I don't think I ever really got the talk, my mum tried, but I just said something like "mum, I know what you're going to say, so lets not talk about it and pretend we did"


Yeah my sex talk came after I'd lost my cherry. My dad found some rubbers in my bag and mum told him to give me the sex talk. So he kept trying to and I just said "I'm intellegent, you don't want to do this, how about we just pretend it happened..."
Greeneyes
QUOTE (Mata @ Nov 13 2004, 12:58 AM)
I believe that the only lasting lesson I got on sex education during my teenage years was 'it's the middle hole'. That's biology class for you.
*


I got told "second hole from the back of the neck". Apart from that and sex education in year 9, pretty much everything was picked up. My parents never gave me a 'talk', and sex education in year 5 just had cartoon videos of vibrating cats.
Medae
QUOTE
and sex education in year 5 just had cartoon videos of vibrating cats.


lmao

My mom has Where Did I Come From (animated lovey dovey sex education tape), and The Meaning of Life (highly graphic technical tape with a women giving birth). Either way, I'm scarred.

I personally prefer Monty Python's Meaning of Life happy.gif
markslut
I remember some dodgy videos. and a dildo thing, lesbian porn also helped (possiby) - Probably what led to what you see now!
Polocrunch
I got bombarded with sex-ed from the age of nine or ten, at school mostly. My parents don't talk about sex with us except in thickly-veiled terms and subtle gestures. I was an interested young chap, so I educated myself with textbooks and magazines and the Net. I pretty much had to when I realised that sex-ed at school was entirely useless to me, for obvious reasons.
Hobbes
I was never given the talk, and none of the teachers at school had the guts to teach it either.

Fortunately, when I was about eight or nine I walked into my bedroom and, on my bed, sat 'The Usborne Facts of Life'. I read it cover to cover, and learnt all the mechanics from that. To this day, nobody in my family will admit to putting it in my room, so how it got there I don't know.
Righteous
Sex ed in eighth grade when I was fourteen really helped solidify and connect all the random things I knew (I knew about oral sex and what-not long before I even heard the term "fallopian tubes"). THey taught us a lot more practical stuff like about STDs (in a scientific manner) and pregnancy (both scientifically and sensationally) and even stuff on safe sex. I remember thinking to myself, "I'm never gonna need to know any of this." Three years later with pregnancies and STDs and sex all around me, I'm glad I learned that stuff, even if I did learn more from my peers and magazines.

EDIT: I just realized that me and Rick are probably going to have to educate Gabrielle on sex and drugs since our parents won't do it. That's kind of scary.
Pikasyuu
AGH. The..the..sex talk!!

I was about nine years old. Now, I knew what everything was from these rude boys showing themselves in elementary school, but, nobody ever ..said anything to me until I .. well. I walked into my parents' bedroom wanting a glass of water and unfortunately . . . saw . . my parents . . doing . . things. Of course, I turned around and walked away and went back into my room awfully fast, except my mom followed me and decided she'd explain right then and there. It was humiliating.
Usurper MrTeapot
Outside of my direct family sex doesn't exist. They're all middle class white people, and to them babies are God delievered gifts that come in the post when mummy has had a bit too much to eat over 9 months.
TehRoxxorCOD
I was, eh, ten. Pretty standard stuff...

I've never had sex ed, having gone to private Catholic schools all my life, and of course they preach abstinence, which is fine because I support it. I'm just kinda worried that if and/or when I get married I'll have no idea what to do... but whatever.
Alien_Moe
Ohhh, the talk. I mangaed to get it 3 times (yes 3!!!) from 4 different parents. Each time it was more embaresing, as i had 2 older sisters and plenty of porn vids my dad hadn't hidden well enough, so i already knew all the basics, cobbled together in a sort of mish mash kinda way.
LoLo
My talk consisted of my brother and sister giggling because they found a book in my mom's room with naked pictures in it so I looked too.

It wasn't a dirty mag or anything, but a book my mom had bought so we would know what was going on in our bodies as we got older. It was a book called, "what's happening to me?" or something like that. The picture that sticks out most in my mind from that book is a pimply kid looking at big breasted girls in a swimming pool and he's standing on the diving board with an erection.

Other than that everything else was handled in sex education classes through school. I must say before even getting my own boobs I knew almost every kind of contraceptive there was available at the time. Funny thing is that sex ed was always mixed with anti drug classes or driving courses for me.

I had to take a human sexuality class in college to learn more than just the basics like where things are in bio, and how to prevent pregnancy and STD's like they teach in any lower school.
artist.unknown
My parentals just sort of shoved a book at me and ran. I went to private school, where admittedly the girls were made to wear cardigans to "cover their growing bosoms", so I didn't get much in the way of sex ed in school. Sexual acts are unmentionable in catholic school, cept for the maxim "masturbation is murder". Heh.

My younger brother just recently got the talk (meaning, they threw the book at him and ran). When it was done, he exclaimed in disgust, "I'm never going to use this stuff! It's like algebra!"
Righteous
QUOTE (LoLo @ Nov 14 2004, 05:21 PM)
It was a book called, "what's happening to me?" or something like that.
*

Oh, God. I got that when I turned twelve. It's still in my house somewhere. It's quite a silly book. A few years ago, my brother and his friend found it and spent a half an hour going through it cracking jokes at the juvinile way it's written (they were like 16 at the time). It's a great book to flip through for a quick laugh.
QUOTE
My younger brother just recently got the talk (meaning, they threw the book at him and ran). When it was done, he exclaimed in disgust, "I'm never going to use this stuff! It's like algebra!"

Wait a few years. He'll come around.
tptcow
Perhaps its just my boredom, but I can't get over an image I have in my mind of vibrating cats and that I find it highly humorous.

I don't remember if I was ever given the sex talk. I had enough sex ed from the people in my high school marching band....smile.gif
Cavocy
I got the sex talk from my parents with very simple stuff starting when I was like six. I never got it all in one big talk. And now my poor mom doesn't know what to do with the fact I've told her I prefer women because... well, that wasn't something she was expecting.

However, the much more embarassing talk I got was from my roommate a couple of weeks ago about using tampons. We are talking about making visuals using her hands and... I never ever want to see that again. Yesh. It was funny as all hell, but... wow, major embarassment.
Sir Psycho Sexy
QUOTE (Alien_Moe @ Nov 14 2004, 09:35 PM)
Ohhh, the talk. I mangaed to get it 3 times (yes 3!!!) from 4 different parents. Each time it was more embaresing, as i had 2 older sisters and plenty of porn vids my dad hadn't hidden well enough, so i already knew all the basics, cobbled together in a sort of mish mash kinda way.
*


4 parents, 3 sex talks, someone was obviously a spoilt child! tongue.gif
Azrael The Cat
My dad, being a gnostic, gave me a long, mostly unintellegible speech about chi, mantras and the transmutation of sexual energy that left me thinking that learning to harness your sexual energies could turn into some sort of superhero...... Living in Canada, the more mechanical aspects of it were easilly learned and I frankly don't remember where I got the information from, though I do know I learned all about pregnancy, puberty, menopause and genital anatomy from several anotomical volumes and other medical books I had gotten for Christmas. What can I say, I was a nerd and I wanted to know about that stuff because I couldn't stop reading about Renaissance art and novels on medical dramas. tongue.gif Robin Cook, Micheal Crichton and Leonardo DaVinci were my heroes. Besides, there are lots of very straightforward and very educational things that air on The Discovery Channel and even on local tv here, so that taught me a lot more about sex and how we humans deal with it. It just keeps getting more and more interesting, to the point that I'm seriously considering a career as a sexual educator of writer. But I do wanna be an actor first. tongue.gif
Artemisia
In the Manitoba, Canada education system you get sex ed in grades 5, 7 and 9 and they get more detailed every time. But my first sex talk happened long before grade 5 and was given by my older cousin with barbies. Come on, admit it. Probably everyone who has ever played with barbies or similar adult-aged dolls has done what my cousin did: she put Ken on top of Barbie and let them revel in their plastic un-nudity (my dolls had beige plastic panties or briefs fused to their skin). I had no idea why she would do that. She then told me they were having sex, making babies, and that the man had little tiny eggs inside of him and was transferring them to the woman and that felt good and that's how she got pregnant. Voila! Then grade 5 and the "sex is like a seat-belt being fastened" made a lot more sense.

As for a moral talk? My parents are both med lab techs, and my mom is terrified of STDs in perhaps the way only neurotic medical professionals can be. I got the "don't get STDs they will wreck your life and if you get pregnant we're taking away your education trust fund" talk.
dancing hamster guy
I think eddy the cheese has the best explanaition of sex when they visit the zoo-
click here
Jonman
I guess the mechanics and sexual health issues were taught in school.

As for technique, I had an older brother with a fine taste in porn.

And sex is just like videogames - to begin with, you just hammer the buttons and hope something good happens. After a while, you start to learn precisely which button does what, and finally, you start to link them into perfectly timed 10-move combos. And I'm dead good at Tekken, me.
Jaq
We started sex ed mish mashed with health class (hygeine, illegal drugs, remembering your seat belt, playing nice with the other kids) in grade 4, which was a year after I started watching porn and discovering that Barbie and Ken weren't quite whole. I remember laughing at one kid in grade 4 who asked if you had to take off your clothes to have sex.

I never really got the sex talk from my parents except for a few half sarcastic remarks about how all men are scum and that they didn't want me to date until they were dead. Also they weren't too keen on their 12 year old daughter viewing porn. That sure taught me (to remember to clear the computer history)
Azrael The Cat
QUOTE (dancing hamster guy @ Nov 16 2004, 10:28 AM)
I think eddy the cheese has the best explanaition of sex when they visit the zoo-
click here
*


LMAO!
Righteous
Jeez, I envy you Canadians. You get this stuff from the start meanwhile here in the southern US, the majority of our sex ed comes from our peers and porn with an occasional nice chunk from bio and/or health class or even a parent who's not conservative enough to let the kids figure it out upon marriage.
{Gothic Angel}
I got given the Usborne "where do babies come from" book when I was 7, and told if I had any questions I should come and ask. Then we had sex ed in year 9. That was about it. Its amazing how many people learn about this sort of thing from friends and magazines. I know I did. tongue.gif
Usurper MrTeapot
Hmm in my circle I was the guy who was the friend people learnt stuff from. Its much harder having to get by with vague school book refrences, and trying to think back to school sex ed when your in need of the info right away is annoyingly painful.
{Gothic Angel}
QUOTE (MrTeapot @ Nov 17 2004, 09:14 PM)
Hmm in my circle I was the guy who was the friend people learnt stuff from.
*


That is slightly worrying, given the general personality of the people I learned it off tongue.gif
TehRoxxorCOD
I worry about the people who learned about sex from pr0n... it's only accurate in the loosest sense of the word, meaning it's like getting a square peg through a round hole WITH A SLEDGE HAMMER!!!!

I don't know where I'm going with this, so I'll stop. unsure.gif
Usurper MrTeapot
QUOTE ({Gothic Angel} @ Nov 17 2004, 09:15 PM)
That is slightly worrying, given the general personality of the people I learned it off tongue.gif
*


You'll be glad to know I don't have many friends then. Most of mine are girls anyway.
Wyvern
Im quite relieved that I was carefully educated by friends and to some degree school (although finding out that a condom doesn't stay flat and round was quite a shock, great effort there school nurse!).
Particularly that it all happened Before my discovery the ladybird book about babies. Apparently a human baby has something to do with the reproduction cycle of a ladybird? blink.gif

The text and pictures jump from human to ladybird and back VERY confusing, gives a whole new outlook on the birds and bee's. ph34r.gif
{Gothic Angel}
QUOTE (MrTeapot @ Nov 17 2004, 10:28 PM)
You'll be glad to know I don't have many friends then. Most of mine are girls anyway.
*


Most of mine are guys. Maybe that explains something.

Why are the ones who explain sex always guys?
TehRoxxorCOD
Probably because they derive far more pleasure and amusement from seeing the looks of shocked disgust on people's faces.
Kitty
Cuz guys are just cruel.

I unfortunatley learned alot about sex and body parts in 3rd grade. Being groped isnt fun. And realizing what people acctually did to me 4 years later when I finally reflected on that grade was quite shocking.

la la la.... As for knowing the technical stuff, I learned about where babies come from from my mummeh when I was 3 or 4, a couple of perverted jokes told by.... you guessed it! Guys. Then more technical stuff from a few books, girl bodyparts and their functions sort of education in 5th grade and I was quite shocked when one of my friends read an anatomy book and told me that certain parts go into other certain parts.... blink.gif ph34r.gif

Yup.... I fear the end of 9th grade biology.... I really do. Especially since my class is really immature sad.gif
Snugglebum the Destroyer
QUOTE
I learned about where babies come from from my mummeh when I was 3 or 4,


Jesus - you guys really spoke to your parents about this sort of stuff THAT young??

*starts fretting and worrying that she'll have to give Kai 'the talk' in two years time*

Surely this is the sort of stuff I can palm off on his dad, right?


RIGHT? blink.gif
Kitty
*laughs* Dont fret, I think I asked my mom where babies came from and she said "from down there" And pointed down there.

My parents still havent given me 'the talk' I suspect I'll get it this summer though when I ask if my boyfriend can come up from florida for a few days.... uh-oh.

I'm 14, by the way.
The Lorax
*raises her hand* I'm the one people learn things from! I'm a girl, and I do enjoy the shocked faces people get.

Anyway, I got "the talk" from my older brothers. It started with 'if a boy puts his tongue in your mouth, you'll get a baby in your throat', and ended up with 'don't do anything with the guy on the corner, unless you want his crabs' with bits and chunks of me surfing porn, reading the karma sutra, and this nifty book, I forget what it's called, but it's got pictures, actual people doing it, and articles and such.
Righteous
See Lorax, I would like mine and Rick's conversation with our little sister to be more informative than that. I mean, what am I going to do, leave it up to my parents? Or worse, the school?
The Lorax
Good Idea, Ri. All of the actual information I've gotten was from books, similar to the Usborne. So actually, when I'm not just joking around with my friends, I can give some very good actual information.

But tell her the baby in your throat one. Won't have to worry about he making out with a guy for a long time.
Righteous
That I don't mind. It's the baby in her belly that I'm worried about.

Books. Hmm. I should look into that.
{Gothic Angel}
QUOTE (K!77y @ Nov 19 2004, 12:29 AM)
My parents still havent given me 'the talk' I suspect I'll get it this summer though when I ask if my boyfriend can come up from florida for a few days.... uh-oh.
*


I get this from my mum every time Dan comes down from Wales... She's like "Don't do anything stupid."

I ask you... What's stupid about sex? tongue.gif I mean, so long as you're in a loving relationship and using contraception etc dry.gif

And K!77y... some guys are jerks. Well actually, thats a lie, they're worse than that, but the language rules on here wont let me say what they're really like... You get told about sex and stuff but noone ever tells you what people will do to get some...
Kitty
QUOTE ({Gothic Angel} @ Nov 19 2004, 12:33 PM)
QUOTE (K!77y @ Nov 19 2004, 12:29 AM)
My parents still havent given me 'the talk' I suspect I'll get it this summer though when I ask if my boyfriend can come up from florida for a few days.... uh-oh.
*




I ask you... What's stupid about sex? tongue.gif I mean, so long as you're in a loving relationship and using contraception etc dry.gif


I started thinking about that too, why is it "bad" to have sex? As long as you're careful and dont get pregnant or get any STDs. I know sometimes this happens even when you're being careful though. But its just sort of odd why most all of society implys that its bad to have sex at a young age. But, its natural to do so, isnt it?

QUOTE
And K!77y... some guys are jerks. Well actually, thats a lie, they're worse than that, but the language rules on here wont let me say what they're really like... You get told about sex and stuff but noone ever tells you what people will do to get some...

*

I realized this.... I guess in the long run it doesnt really affect me, as far as being angry and untrusting of everyone. He just put his hand where it wasnt sopposed to go and I didnt realize how bad of a thing to do it is till a few years later, then I wanted to punch his lights out. The thing that still gets me is he had a sister that was 3 years older and she saw him do it and laughed. She laughed. I guess I dont have much anger anymore but what in the world is wrong with some people? I dont understand.

Anyway, I think from experiance that I'm forced, in a way, to not laugh at alot of sexual jokes and stuff, because I was exposed to it in a bad way when I was young blink.gif
Azrael The Cat
Women can be evil too. It's relationships really, they're to blame. They're the greater evil.
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