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arachnidoc17
0_0
... Has there been some violence in the Matabar lately?
voices_in_my_head
Is It even possible to have fun without violence?
arachnidoc17
What, has this turned into the "questions only" thread or something?

EDIT: goddamnit.

DOUBLE EDIT: well, no, but it's all fun and games until someone loses a limb.
voices_in_my_head
then it's a party!
JimiJimi
QUOTE (voices_in_my_head @ May 2 2005, 12:24 AM)
Could you give my leg back now?
*

Leg? What leg?

*Tries to conceal leg behind back*

Oh, that leg? No, that's... err... that's not your leg, that's...

It's... It was in the bar's 'Lost and Found'. Honest.
voices_in_my_head
Mmmhmm....
sure.
Just give the leg back and no one gets hurt.

*emma closes in on Jimi*
arachnidoc17
How are you going to reattatch the leg, anyways?
*fidgets*
'Cause it would look really good next to the disembodied brains in the Arachnidoc lair.
JimiJimi
QUOTE (arachnidoc17 @ May 3 2005, 12:08 AM)
'Cause it would look really good next to the disembodied brains in the Arachnidoc lair.
*

So that's where it went.
Ashbless
Voices won the leg fair and square off some bloke in a pub. *nods*

*Pours herself a double and glares at paperwork until it bursts into flames*

Sigh, if only it was as easy to make it go away RL. dry.gif
JimiJimi
*Gets too close to the paperwork and catches fire*

Ow, hot hot hot!

Put it out!

*Rolls too near a whisky bottle, followed by a pleasant explosion*

Funny how this only ever happens to me.

[edit] I just updated the Matabar animation. If you suffer from epilepsy or other similar diseases do not watch! You have been warned!

This is totally-non matabar related this time, unlike the last ones. Also do not watch if you allergic to annoying 337 or cookies.

[editedit] Damn, all that and I forgot to put the link. It's http://www.geocities.com/mrjimijimi/matabarodd.swf.
Ashbless
Cues it up onto the big screen T.V. smile.gif

blink.gif blink.gif

That was very odd. Thanks JimiJimi.
voices_in_my_head
first you steal my leg..and now you try to make my eyes explode?
Quoth(The Raven)
QUOTE (voices_in_my_head @ Apr 30 2005, 11:39 AM)
I'm afraid to have arthur give me a drink now!
*


I wouldn't worry. The Dragons pick on JimiJimi because ever since Tobias tried to Heal him, and hit him with a resurrection spell by Mistake, JimiJimi has been virtually indestructable... although he does have the nasty habit of dying and coming back, every so often... hopefully it'll wear off. Eventually. Meantime, he makes an excellent Straight man...
JimiJimi
Gawd, I must have been really drunk when I made that animation... Fun though.

Wow, I didn't realise that I was indestructible. That would explain why I keep coming back to life.

IN-DES-TRUCT-I-BLE CAP-TAIN SCAR-LET! Dum dum, dum dum dum dum dum...
I_am_the_best
Wow, I haven't been in here for a while. What on my green goaty has been going on? blink.gif
voices_in_my_head
oh, nothing much...

*throws towel over blood stains*
JimiJimi
I don't think I towel will cover the fact that you're missing a leg.

I probably ought to do something about that...

Here, have your leg back.

*Jimi hands over a green, gooey leg to Voices.*

Don't complain to me if it doesn't work anymore...
arachnidoc17
*Drags in big, black plastic bag*
Hey everyone! Pay no attention to me! Look the opposite direction if you have to!
*sprints into storage room and and slams door shut*

EDIT: the new Matabar animation should have soneone yelling "Oh my Fuggin Gawd!" in the background.

DOUBLE EDIT: I've never been drunk, so I don't know, but wouldn't it be kind of difficult to make a flash animation while you were drunk?
JimiJimi
Well, wouldn't that kind of explain how crappy it is?

I've made a few Flash animations when drunk. One I can't remember making but it suddenly appeared on my computer the same day I got an unexplained hangover. So I assume I made it when drunk.
surewhynot
This is off subject but can i have a long island ice tea please?
Quoth(The Raven)
QUOTE (arachnidoc17 @ May 10 2005, 07:26 PM)
DOUBLE EDIT: I've never been drunk, so I don't know...
*


I've been drunk exactly twice. Both times, I just got a bit fuzzy around the edges of my mind, and got violently ill, afterwards. I saw no reason to repeat the process... smile.gif
Quoth(The Raven)
QUOTE (JimiJimi @ May 9 2005, 03:30 PM)
Gawd, I must have been really drunk when I made that animation... Fun though.

Wow, I didn't realise that I was indestructible. That would explain why I keep coming back to life.

IN-DES-TRUCT-I-BLE CAP-TAIN SCAR-LET! Dum dum, dum dum dum dum dum...
*


Hold on, there, Hoss! I said Virtually indestructable. As in 'Almost'. don't test your luck any further than you have to... laugh.gif
Quoth(The Raven)
*Gwen the flying cat swoops in, followed by Six kittens, flying in tight formation, calling out, "Mama! Mama! Look!" etc. Gwen lands on bar top, looking tired. Kittens come in for a very clumsy landing, skittering across the bartop. One plows into Gwen, another falls behind the bar... "I'm okay," He pipes up. One kitten knocks down a row of beer mugs. One lands in a patron's lap. One of the kittens crashes into the pinball machine. The final kitten lands in a pitcher of ale.*

Gwen (Sighing): An Ibuprophen, please. Make it the size of Rhode Island...
JimiJimi
QUOTE (Quoth(The Raven) @ May 13 2005, 03:30 AM)
Hold on, there, Hoss!  I said Virtually indestructable.  As in 'Almost'. don't test your luck any further than you have to... laugh.gif
*

So, you're saying that impaling myself on this spike was a bad idea?

*Dies slightly*
Ashbless
*looks in storage room and discovers it's full of webbing* ohmy.gif biggrin.gif

*Pulls a basket from under the bar instead and starts gathering kittens*
-untangles kitten from the beer pump hoses behind bar.
-picks up kitten from miracle spot of unbroken glass.
-patron drops in kitten after an ear rub.
-picks up kitten from where she's trying hard to catch the pinball through the glass top.
-rubs dry singing kitten after pulling him out of the ale.
*Gwen's caught sixth under a paw for a wash, kitten looks resigned with an AW Mum look on it's face.*

The Hamsters are holding a vigil on the garden patio. Do you mind if the kittens use the hamster runs?

*Gwen looks grateful, surrenders sixth to Ashbless, and paws over headache medicine*
surewhynot
can i get an longisland ice tea
Quoth(The Raven)
QUOTE (surewhynot @ May 13 2005, 04:24 PM)
can i get an longisland ice tea
*

that all depends on whether anyone's behind the bar... I'd call Arthur to fill in as bartender... but Pendragons have a notoriously dodgy sense of humor. No telling what you'd wind up with...
*Gwen opens one sleepy eye*
Gwen: Shhh! cats are trying to sleep, here! I haven't slept in six weeks! Thank Bastet for Aunty Ashbless kitten sitting! Zzzzzz!
*Gwen goes back to sleep*
Quoth(The Raven)
Gwen needs your help! Not only are the kittens driving her to destraction, she still hasn't thought up names for them all! Please help her out, by going to the name the kittens thread, and suggesting a few names. Gwen will be grateful!
Ashbless
*wanders in waving feather duster with jingling bells and spangles*
*six winged kittens trail after, mesmerized, trying to judge the best way to pounce the shiney toy*

"Mama!"

*Gwen, sleeping by the fireplace, is mobbed by kittens*
*Ashbless feeds Guppy and then brings out an assortment of kitty nibbles in a bowl for the felines*

*Serves up a long island ice tea for surewhynot. *
JimiJimi
*Walks into bar, only to find winged kittens flying about the place looking menacing*

Err...

*The kittens turn around and stare evilly at Jimi*

Ooh... crap...

AAHH! I'M RUNNING AS FAST AS I CAN!
voices_in_my_head
*sigh*

They learn so fast...
Quoth(The Raven)
QUOTE (JimiJimi @ May 14 2005, 05:21 PM)
*Walks into bar, only to find winged kittens flying about the place looking menacing*

Err...

*The kittens turn around and stare evilly at Jimi*

Ooh... crap...

AAHH! I'M RUNNING AS FAST AS I CAN!
*


What is it, with you and magical critters? Maybe it wasn't a resurrection SPELL... maybe it was a resurrection CURSE that Tobias laid on you... You do seem to attract abuse from otherwise innocent magical beings... wink.gif laugh.gif
JimiJimi
So now I attract abuse from otherwise innocent magical beings and I die randomly? What's next, a heat-seeking missile?

*Narrowly avoids heat-seeking missile*
voices_in_my_head
QUOTE (JimiJimi @ May 15 2005, 10:12 AM)
*Narrowly avoids heat-seeking missile*
*


That was me. You deserve it for taking my leg.

*gets out sewing kit*
JimiJimi
Well, you should have guarded your leg better then, shouldn't you?

Plus, shouldn't you be able to use Matazone powers to stick it back on? I doubt sewing it will do any good, it's gone all green...
Ashbless
*takes cookies to the Hamsters on the patio*

Any idea how long DHG has been banned for?

*uses shiney toy to distract kittens from their attack on JimiJimi and lure them into the hamster runs*
*The green and yellow striped is too busy trying to catch the pinball ball in the ceiling pinball machine and has mastered the unusual feat of flying upside down*
JimiJimi
QUOTE (Ashbless @ May 15 2005, 07:59 PM)
*uses shiney toy to distract kittens from their attack on JimiJimi and lure them into the hamster runs*
*

As long as that place is unescapunable, (assuming that that isn't a word) and they get tied up chasing hamsters, I'm guess that I'm safe.

Ooh, I've started using italics for some unknown reason.

*Looks at Voices' non-severed leg*

You might want to hide that before I steal it and add it to my collection.

What?
Ashbless
Hamsters aren't in the hamster runs - they're out on the back patio holding a vigil for DHG.

I just thought the hamster area might distract *kittens burst into the room and start racing each other around the ceiling fixtures.*

Oh. Never mind.

*Guppy hides in his crate*
JimiJimi
Oh no... OH NO!

*Jimi tries to hide before kittens spot him, hoping and praying the kittens don't have X-ray vision*

*Narrowly avoids heat-seeking missile*
Tenacious C
I can't drink because I am considered underage in the U.S. Gimmee some water.
arachnidoc17
Ya see, that's no problem for me, since I don't drink ALCOHOL.
*double takes*
*runs back into storage room with bloody knife*
Quoth(The Raven)
*Checks spell book*
Hmmm. Says here, that on the material Plane, every action has an opposite and equal reaction... this applies to magic, as well as physics. Only certain magical creatures, whose ancestors evolved on higher planes of magic, are immune to this effect. Included in this list are Pendragons, Banshees and Elves.
*Closes magic Book*
Well, that's it, then. When Tobias cast the resurrection spell, he was immune to the Karmic backlash, but JimiJimi wasn't. This is why all these bizarre things have been happening to him...
Mystery solved. laugh.gif
JimiJimi
Damn you Isaac Newton and your third theory of relativity!

Or whoever the hell came up with it in the magical sense.

*Small shiney orb flies towards Jimi and starts jumping on his head*

Ow, it burns! AAAAAAHHHHHH!
Ashbless
*shiney orb attracts flying kittens like a magnet. An imprompu game of quiddich occurs. (without bludgers or enough players)*

*JimiJimi dodges yet another heat seeking missle before Ashbless reclaims The Weapon of BIC and puts it back into his office*

*Hands Voices a weird flashlight like device. She turns it on, shines it on her legs, and voila - instantly healed. However shiney light attracts kittens. Ashbless deftly reclaims healing light as Voices is chased out the door. * tongue.gif

Tenacious C can have what he/she likes as long as they don't try to replicate experience in RL.
JimiJimi
Well, that was helluva fun.

What am I talking about? Those orbs really hurt like hell.

Why do people say that things are something as hell?

"That hurt like hell!"

"It's as hot as hell!"

"It's as cold as hell!"

"This is hell!"

"You're as annoying as hell!"

Although 'as anything' is seriously much more annoying, used when people can't think of what to say.

"That's as black as anything!"

"That's as stupid as anything!"

"That's as pretty as anything!"

"He's as rich as anything!"

"That hurt like anything!"

"[PRONOUN] [ADJECTIVE] [LIKE/AS] anything!"


Man, it really annoys me.

blink.gif

*Runs away from kittens and shiny orb*

Gah!
El Nino
QUOTE (Ashbless @ May 15 2005, 06:59 PM)
Any idea how long DHG has been banned for?
*

Darth Lee PM'd me and asked me to post this link for anyone who wants to see DHG's goodbye. Which incidentally answers your Q. Ashbless.
JimiJimi
DHG got banned?

Deary me, what is the world coming to?

What did he do?

Uh oh, here come the damn kittens...
Ashbless
I believe he deliberately set out to see how annoyed he could get Mata. biggrin.gif

I'll miss him. He's banned for a year and a half. sad.gif

*pours shooter, toasts DHG - the worst bouncer a virtual bar every had *small tear* - and slams it back. *

Did B.I.C. every pay him his wages? Or did the hamsters use up the money in breakages?
surewhynot
QUOTE (Ashbless @ May 14 2005, 02:06 PM)
*wanders in waving feather duster with jingling bells and spangles*
*six winged kittens trail after, mesmerized, trying to judge the best way to pounce the shiney toy*

"Mama!"

*Gwen, sleeping by the fireplace,  is mobbed by kittens*
*Ashbless feeds Guppy and then brings out an assortment of kitty nibbles in a bowl for the felines*

*Serves up a long island ice tea for surewhynot. *
*

thank you do you have a job application?
Quoth(The Raven)
DHG is gone! *Sniff* I'll miss him!
Arthur is planning a Memorial Cookout... all Hamsters urged to attend... laugh.gif
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