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The Other Side forums - suitable for mature readers! > The Other Side forums > Daft
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*digs new hole next to concrete*

*Pushes speaker into the hole*

Could someone help with this cement please?
*echoing from teh bottom of the hole*


minsh shomeone shelling mesh whysh ish insh thish holesh?

Voices has gone mad! ph34r.gif

*attempts to open storage room, but remembers that Voices locked the door*

I went crazy a long, long time ago. I'm just crazier now.


*storm clouds roll in, and thunder is heard*
*shifts around, grabs shovel and begins digging a tunnel to the safety of the storage room*
*slowly sobering up*


would someone throw down some advil.

and please, i beg of you, be quiet
*digs up into storage room*
Is that robot... CLEANING? GAH! No!
*gets spare key out of back pocket, opens up door, leads Colin outside the Storage room then slams door*

...Why didn't I just use this key to get in here?

Bah, nevermind.
*throws advil to speaker*

*begins pouring cement*
*gulps bottle of advil*

*shakes head and sits up slowly realizing the cement pouring round body*


lets see, i have a pocket knife, an empty advil bottle, duct tape, WD-40, and a towel...

*thinking while cement builds higher*


ouch... loud noise...

*stands up in hole, uses towel to hook around VIMH's leg and pulls himself up out of hole*

woo hoo!

ouch.. loud noise..

must stop doing that...

*suddenly realizes that VIMH fell in hole during the escape*


oh well...

*goes to hide in closet with arichnidoc*

hope you dont mind too much...

*passes out*
Bah, whatever, so long as you don't press this BIG, SHINY OMINOUS BUTTON.

*jumps and ducks behind a desk*
*wakes up*


press the little, matte unobtrusive button?


*presses button and colin comes whizzing through the door*

COLIN: order?

*gestures vaguely towards arachnidoc*


*colin flys toward arachnidoc, picks him up and flies out of room*

oh well...

*passes out again*
Quoth(The Raven)
*Six terrified flying lizards enter the bar, performing evasive maneuvers to avoid Flying Kittens, who are in hot persuit. Maverick overtakes his flying lizard, forcing it down over the bartop, where it lands in a stein of beer. Maverick veers off, choosing a new target, as flying lizard crawls out of drink, and staggers down the counter top*

Arthur: Pickled Lizard! Who ordered the pickled Lizard?
*wakes up and stumbles out of back room*

ya i did...

*arthur brings the lizard over*



*Maverick flys over*

Maverick: hey long time no see! whats up?

um.. i ordered a large lizard, this one is... is... scrawny!

Maverick: right, thought i'd play a little joke on you since you wre away for so long!


Alright, ya got me there. go catch some more!

Maverick: sweet!

*Maverick flys off again after the lizards, quickly jumping onto one*
Um...guys? The cement is about to cover my mouth, but could you at least make a statue out of me?
*moulds cement surrounding Voices into a statue of a Port-a-Potty*

Well now, wasn't that entertaining.

*thinks of ways to stop Colin from cleaning the Storage Room*
Yay! The kittens are back! laugh.gif
*hugs a purring Keegan. Who then launches herself back at flying lizards.*

Are we making a new outdoor patio?
Why is Voices' head resting on it? blink.gif What've you lot done with the rest of Voices?

*Voices says "erm, a little help." Ashbless startles and turns pale.*
You're alive! Hmm, and stuck. laugh.gif Um, I mean. sad.gif

*Colin flies over with Shiny Clean Arachnidoc. *
Oh dear.
Free Voices would you? And then maybe finish the patio?

*Arachnidoc looks slightly tramatized. Ashbless pours him a large pan galatic gargle blaster to push him into major tramatized. tongue.gif (but in a good way wink.gif )*
*eyes the Gargle Blaster*

I have absolutely no idea what this thing is, and will therefore ingest it.

*swills it down*
*Arachnidoc has the sensation of being gently hit in the frontal lobe by a gold wrapped brick*

*Colin leaves the statue of a loo but chooses to use it as a planter and has planted it with a nice selection of delphiniums*
Oh my, it seems that I feel as though I have been gently hit in the frontal lobe with a gold-wrapped brick.
Yup, those gargle blasters are quite good, aren't they?

*hangs up apron and heads out into the night*
Yes they are. *puts bucket over head, punchers eye-holes into bucket, sneaks back into storage room, locks door behind him and then falls asleep*
*Colin, after having too many orders shouted at him at once, goes back to his primary objective, to clean. He enters the bar, and notices everything has been cleaned many times over, and some worksurfaces are now beginning to grow a thin layer of Cillit Bang. Colin looks around the room, then notices the storage room. He realises that he didn't clean it fully*

*Colin bobs up to storage room and knocks*

*Jimi walks up to Colin*

Jimi: Whatcha doing, Colin?

Colin: Trying to clean this room, sir.

Jimi: I wouldn't recommend going in there. Arachnidoc won't let you in anyway.

*Colin knocks again*

*Arachnidoc shouts 'Go away' through the door*

*Colin, on the realisation that he will not be let in the room, begins to get confused. He needs to clean the room, yet he is not being allowed to do so*

*He puts one of his arms up to the door. A little skeleton key flicks out of it. He turns it in the lock, and the door opens*

Jimi: *Gaspness* What the hell?!

What was in the storage room? Will voices get out of 200lbs of cement? Who were the other four members of the Jackson Five? Find out the answers to all of these questions... later...
*walks in*

*sees bar is deserted*

*walks out back*

*falls headlong into hole onto concrete*

*gets up and climbs out*

*trips over concrete toilet*

*tries to get up but fails*

*accepts the way things are going and stays lieing down*

*falls asleep*
I think it is high time for some tea.

Tea anyone? There are also scones with strawberry jam, cream cheese and cucumber sandwiches, and madelines...
A scone, please.

I thought I'd make a rather cool statue:

Just In case I'm ever famous.
tv with legs
uummm...(cough cough) check please!!
Toast. Toast. 1, 2. Toast, TOAST. Check, 2. 1, 2, toast, check, 2, toast.
Er... Don't make me use these jingly keys.
*jingles keychain, Colin is not amused*
Hey, look! Two full pages of cryptic ones and zeroes!

*Colin turns around, Arachnidoc pushes him out of the threshhold and slams the door*
*Colin, on realising that there is no point in trying to open the door again, decides to open the door again*

*He puts his skeleton key in the door, unlocks it, but, horror of the horrors, a door has been pushed up to it. Colin decided to go and tell everyone of what arachnidoc keeps in there, anyway*

Colin: He's interrogating a small piece of cheese.

On a non-bar note, I just received my copy of 'There's always room to improv' by 16 buttons of justice. Totally improvised. Brilliant.
*jumps into the bar*


*walks over to the bar and orders an imported pan galactic gargle blaster*

i've finally figured it out so i must drink myself silly till i cant remembr what I've discovered!

*drinks the imported pan galactic gargle blaster*

*wild screaming and yelling*

*gets up off floor*

hey.. did anyone get the number of that slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick?
42 biggrin.gif
QUOTE (Ashbless @ Jul 13 2005, 06:26 PM)
42  biggrin.gif

thx.. i thought it was something like that...

*orders a succession of pan galactic gargle blasters and drinks each followed by incessant screaming and yelling*
tv with legs
gimme one, then another 13 hundred biggrin.gif
*staggers wildly round the bar*


*stumbles over to Quoth*

nowsh i want you to lishen to mesh... *hic*... Ish thinksh wesh shouldh get e-marrieshd...

*looses balance and falls face first into Quoth*
Quoth(The Raven)
*Arthur, sensing much screaming ahead, dons a pair of earmuffs (Despite the fact that he has no ears...). He digs into his built in pocket, and pulls out a magic Wand, which he swishes and flicks*

Arthur: Immobilus!

*Kittens and Lizards freeze in midair. Arthur gestures again*

Arthur: Silencio!

*Bar goes quiet. Nodding in satisfaction, he slips off the earmuffs, then fixes himself a Harvey Walbanger. Lifting his glass in a silent toast, he downs the drink, then flies out of the bar. As soon as he's gone, kittens and lizards fall to the floor, and sound comes back with a roar...*
Quoth(The Raven)
*Quoth steps away from speaker, who falls over with a loud snore*

Quoth: Bartender, increase the Arsenic, next time, please...

*Quoth vanishes*
*dust bits of concrete off of her shoulder*

*drags Speaker towards the hole*
*walks out of storage room, locking doors behind*
That'll teach that piece of cheese.
*walks out of bar to buy some mag-lock doors*
Hmm. There's chaos in the bar and I didn't even do anything. Strange.
*tosses speaker into the hole*

*begins Shoveling dirt back into hole*

Psst, Colin - try digging a tunnel under the storage room door.
Quoth(The Raven)
*Maverick begins collecting stunned flying lizards, making a little pile of them, near the hole where Speaker is rapidly being buried...*

Maverick: I hope they don't wake up before HE does...
*sneaks past Colin to storage room*
*Colin fidgets, Arachnidoc flinches and decides to make a run for the storage room*
*unlocks doors, flies inside and locks doors*
Quoth(The Raven)
*Twelve hamsters, carrying a sonic screwdriver, begin sneaking stealthily toward storage room... they've heard that there's a piece of cheese that needs liberating...*
*sets up sandbags and anti-hamster cannon outside of storage room*

*Colin digs down under the bar and up into the floor of the storage room. Arachnidoc, still distracted by hamsters, is looking the other way. Colin acts as quietly and efficiently as possible, cleaning everything using products endorced by a certain Barry Scott. Colin goes up behind Arachnidoc, and begins to clean him, yet he still doesn't appear to notice*

*Colin finds a pair of trousers smoking a cigarette, and cleans them*

*Colin flies back through the hole he created, as Arachnidoc jumps after him*

Jimi: Hmm... this new menu is interesting... I'll have a plate of vinegar. And lots of baking soda. And some sort of container.
I like a little red food colouring as well for that molten-lava-exploding look.

*watches Colin whirr by being chased by an irate Arachnidoc. Hamsters calmly continue to disable the lock on storage room door.*

You lot do know Colin built a kitchen and cheese is available, yes?

*nearest hamster shrugs. Hamsters continue with their mischief.*
*Jimi assembles contraption with baking soda etc.*

*Jimi tightly fastens the container*

*Jimi shoves container in wall, then plasters over it*

*Jimi makes sure no one was looking, then waits*
*loud crashing noise from the Storage Room door*
*is about to hit Colin with a hammer, but instead drops Colin and the hammer to see what happened to the storage room*
*hamsters nibble on cheese and their fur begins to cycle through the visible spectrum*
What, you think I didn't keep that cheese in there for a reason?
*Colin whizzes out of way and over to the kitchen, where, using he super zoomy vision he noticed from 10 yards off that there was a small amoeba clambering its way up the tap*

*Colin emits a small blue beam from his eyes which appear to do nothing, but Colin is happy that there is no longer amoeba*
You know, when you get a lot of amoeba into a large group they form a little glob that acts like one multi-celled orgagnism. I think I have some in a fish tank in the Storage Room.


*runs off into the storage room and begins reinforcing the fish tank*
Finnaly, I get to bury someone completly, and pour the concrete before they wake up!

*pours bag of dirt on the floor, just to keep colin ammused*
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