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The Other Side forums - suitable for mature readers! > The Other Side forums > Daft
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RaevnKite
*comes in with lots of blanket and pillowness and looks around*

*sees the trapdoor, enters, and promptly falls asleep*
JimiJimi
*Puts heavy weight on trapdoor*
Ashbless
Just change the writing on the side of the multiplier. It worked for Calvin of Calvin & Hobbes fame didn't it? What would we do with a bunch of transmogrified Jimis though?

Hmmmm.
SPEAKERfortheLOST
*walks in carring a large black box that seems to draw in the light of the room*

Ah... here we are...

*sets box down in the middle of the multipling Jimis and pushes an unseen black button*

Ill be leaving now..

*jumps and rolls out of bar as the black box emits a low droning sound and all but one Jimi dissappears, as well as everything being in 32-bit color, no craziness, and no Colin*
silvermoon
But can we still make Jimi muffins?
JimiJimi
Would someone mind telling me what happened to Colin?

Better to tell me now then for me to find out later...
Ashbless
*walks up to humming box in suddenly sensible-for-working-on-her-feet shoes*

The saints add preservatives to us! It's an honest to goodness normality generator. Colin's a little to0 strange to exist under it's influence and look at Keegan.

A young siamese cat with reddish markings is meowing on the bar.

*Ashbless scoops kitten and rubs her fur. Cat continues meowing in the demanding voice known as 'talking.'*

Yow! Naowww! Merrnoaawww!
JimiJimi
*Takes small box out of pocket, marked 'Colin detector'*

*Jimi begins pointing it at Ashbless*

Beep. Beep. Beep, beep, bipbipbipbipbipbipbipBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

Ash: Stop making those noises. You look an idiot.
Ashbless
*carries cat back to the bartop and pours herself a rum and coke.*

Hmm, selection is limited to normal drinks.

The phone isn't connected to the repair elves anymore.

*continues survey*

Guppy's gone as well.

*glances at the regulars*

Is that what TWL normally looks like san zombie and demon aspects?
Doc? Is that you? blink.gif
JimiJimi
*Gasp*

The storage room! It's not there!

And the toilets are no longer full of B-list celebrities!
JimiJimi
...

Is the bar usually 32-bit?
arachnidoc17
In color terms, yes.

Although, I'm guessing it's a little bit less than 32, because I've never qute seen #FFFF.
JimiJimi
Aye.

*Jimi looks out window*

Well, that's odd. We're now parked firmly on the ground in the middle of a small country village. Well, that confirms something. I always wondered if this was the sort of old, 17th century pub which has that intriguing smell of beer about it or a modern wine bar. Well, now we know.

*Pokes head outside and looks above door*

Built 1679 by Sir Thomas Westbroke of South Monkeypieshire.

*Jimi pulls head back indoors*

South Monkeypieshire? That doesn't sound incredibly normal.

*Jimi checks again*

Ah. It's changed into 'South Maltshire'.

*Jimi looks back into the bar*

Sorry folks, we appear to be a typically English pub.
voices_in_my_head
Well, that's pretty extrodiary considering that I'm in an english bar, and I'm still sitting right here in Texas.
silvermoon
Looks like the normality field generator wasn't quite calibrated for "normal" around here. Anybody see where it went?
arachnidoc17
Well we have two options.

One, we look for a normality dial on the box and set it to "MataBar", or
Two, we beat it with steel bats until it malfunctions to a degree that most suits the MataBar.
Quoth(The Raven)
*Arthur suddenly finds himself outside the bar. Tries to open the door, to no avail...*

Arthur: Hmmmmm.

*Tobias flies up*

Tobias: What's up, pops?

Arthur: Something's wrong with the bar...

*Wispy, vaporish thing wafts up*

Vapor: You can say that, again!

Arthur: Keegan, is that you?

Keegan: Part of me. the rest is in the bar. Please help me, Uncle Arthur...

Tobias: What's going on, pops?

Arthur: Something's drained the magic out of the 'bar... Keegan's Cat aspect can exist without magic, but we can't... so everything magical is stuck on this side, and anything that can exist without magic is stuck over there...

Keegan (*Sniff*) I don't wanna be a ghost!
silvermoon
*looks for bat*

Aw, it's not steel, but it will have to do.

*attacks normality generator*

It won't die! A little help here, please?
uninspired pizza guy
Ok then.

*passes silvermoon a crowbar*

That should do the trick!
JimiJimi
*Jimi pokes head out door again*

Ah. And another thing, we're called 'The Horse and Groom'.

*Jimi nods in the general direction of the magical creatures*

Hey Arthur, Tobias, Colin, vapour cloud...

*Jimi goes back inside*



*Colin smashes through the window, only to be sucked back outside and the window regenerated*

Colin: Well, that was certainly... very... abnormal...
Ashbless
*Ashbless walks outside. Keegan regains wings, voice and her points deepen to flames in colour. Ashbless finds herself back in unsuitable high heel shoes.*

Ah, now you look more yourself.

*Pets the purring Keegan*

We're beating on the machine with a crowbar but it may take awhile. Don't worry we'll soon have things not right. biggrin.gif

Did you want to come back in or stay out here with the pendragons?
stay OOwwwtt.
Still have some 'mese in your vocabulary I hear. Okay, we'll see you soon. I'll bring out some sausage rolls if the kitchen is still there.

*Walks back in.*
Moosh
What on Earth happened in here? It looks like a Wordsworth poem threw up over the MataBar!

Ah, a normality generator eh? In that case, I shall have to...

*Assumes classic wizarding stance*

*rolls up sleeves*
(As you can see, there is nothing up my sleeves)

...Magic it out.

Caution! Do not attempt the following spell at home*

Sic friatur crustum dulce! Vestimentum laxum paululum videtur! Re vera, cara mea, mea nil refert! In dentibus anticis frustum magnum spiniciae habes!

*Nothing happens*

Damnit! The normality generator stops my wizarding!

*You will be laughed at by any Latin speakers
silvermoon
*takes a quick break from the crowbar*

This is going rather slowly... anybody have a fire axe or something? No? I guess that wouldn't be very normal, would it.

*resumes beating normality generator*
JimiJimi
*Takes machine gun out of pocket*

Take this!

*The machine gun instantly turns to dust in Jimi's hands*

Damn you infernal normality!
silvermoon
I didn't think they had machine guns in the 17th century.

But they did have...

CANNONS!!!!

Perhaps there are some sitting around we could "borrow" for a bit. Maybe they won't even notice.
JimiJimi
Well then, here you go.

*Jimi gets out cannon*

Oh, sorry, this is a party popper.

*Jimi pulls cord and fires string up into the air*
arachnidoc17
Well, since beating it senseless has come to no avail, let's try it this way: If we were NORMAL people, how would we stop a machine from working?
silvermoon
I just had an idea. What if we just move the normality generator out of the bar? Think it would help any?
arachnidoc17
We'd have to get all the magic creatures out of the way first.
JimiJimi
Wouldn't that make all the other threads normal?
silvermoon
Depends on where we put it. If it's outside Matazone completely, then there shouldn't be any problem. Not for us, at least.
JimiJimi
Who's for flushing it down the toilet?
silvermoon
Would it fit?
JimiJimi
Hmm, ok, if placing it outside the bar would work, how's about we put it in a kevlar box?

Or alternatively...

*Jimi flicks switch and the Matabar is reverted back to Matazone normality*

...flick that switch.

*Jimi releases switch and the Matabar turns back into the Horse and Groom, shortly before the switch disappears entirely*

Ah.
arachnidoc17
Well, considering that the box itself is normal, it has to have a power source.

Maybe we can shut it down from there.
JimiJimi
Hmm, maybe it just doesn't react to fingers.

*Jimi takes off shoes and pokes it with his toes*

Well, that certainly--

*Jimi vaporises into a puff of smoke*
silvermoon
Jimi? You there?

*eyes normality generator suspiciously*

Did you get rid of Jimi?

*inspects generator*

I don't see a plug, I think it has an internal power supply.
JimiJimi
*Jimi's voice fills the room*

I can see my house from here!
SPEAKERfortheLOST
*walks in*

hello! and how are we normal people today? hmmm?

oh so you all wish to be quiet? ok good!

well if you will just be normal for a little while more, the generator will shut down on its own...

ok?
JimiJimi
*Jimi's voice once again fills the pub*

Hmm, I'm beginning to like being pure energy.
SPEAKERfortheLOST
ya.. well just watch out for the Andromeda Strain...
JimiJimi
The who and what now?
tv with legs
QUOTE (arachnidoc17 @ Aug 23 2005, 11:42 AM)
Well, since beating it senseless has come to no avail, let's try it this way:  If we were NORMAL people, how would we stop a machine from working?
*

well, im not normal, im a demon\zombie
*sticks tounge out*
*shoots a fire ball at the machine*
*it goes up in flames*
*everybody praves TWL
*wakes up*
*looks at hands*
GAH!!! i hate the field generator!
voices: haha, you look wierd not being a demon\zombie
arachnidoc17
*time passes slowly*

So, eh, anyone seen any good movies lately?
Quoth(The Raven)
Arthur: *Sigh* I was hoping it wouldn't come to this... but if they can't shut it off from inside... we have to attack the gererator with a magic so powerful, so unrelentingly evil, that it will overwhelm it, and force it to either break, or shift out of range...

Keegan: But what could be that bad? unless...

Tobias (Growing suddenly pale): No, Pops! You can't mean them!

Arthur *nodding, grimly*: I'm afraid so, son...

Keegan: But... but... I mean they're cute and all...

Tobias: ... with hearts of pure saccharine... *Shudders* Even the Care Bears are afraid of them! And, if they're's anything more cloyingly cute, yet evil to the core, than the 'bears...

Arthur: I'm afraid we have no choice...

Tobias *Grabs his father by the shoulders* : remember those network execs, Pop! The ones who gave them their own cartoon! It took 'em years to get rid of the little pests! And Ten years after that first broadcast, Teen violence increased tenfold! Coincidence, my scaly butt!

Arthur: We'll have to take our chances...

*Arthur produces mini crystal ball*

Arthur: Hello, Papa Smurf....

*Dramatic Sting is heard*

Keegan: Where'd that music come from?
Quoth(The Raven)
Colin: What? I think they're cute!
arachnidoc17
Aah! Smurfs! The little blue men constantly stalked by some goth!
Quoth(The Raven)
Well... It's either find a way to shut off the 'generator, or invite in the evil that is the Smurfs... Oh, they may not seem evil, at first... but, just wait until you hear that stupid song for the fifteenth time... or, the word 'Smurf' or 'smurfy' for the ten thousandth time (That hour!)...
silvermoon
Last time I heard the Smurfs song, it had rather... interesting... lyrics. Do you have some plan to get them inside? Magic doesn't appear to work inside the MataBar at the moment, as you well know. Unless your plan is just to overload it...
Quoth(The Raven)
Yep. The device is overpowering local reality, forcing it to conform to a non-magical mileu... If it can overpower you, it separates the magic from you. If not, it forces you out. But what happens when thw magic source is too powerful to be split, and too stubborn to be moved? Something has to give...
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