Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: The Matabar (go to page one for virtual bar!!)
The Other Side forums - suitable for mature readers! > The Other Side forums > Daft
Pages: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52
Ashbless
And we'll remove them from the bar afterwards how? I'd prefer the wee free men of Pratchet fame. At least the picties enjoy a good stiff drink.

Still. There should be a way to shut the thing down.

Opens normal closet door and removes a toolkit. Regular screwdrivers, a few wrenches and a hammer and file are discovered.

*Ashbless begins searching for how the thing is fastened together*
silvermoon
*takes hammer and starts banging on normality generator*

I don't know why I'm doing this, considering how much luck we had with the crowbar

*keeps banging anyway*
Ashbless
Could I see the hammer for a minute, silvermoon?

*He passes it over*

Thanks.

*Takes a screwdriver and fits it's end to a very small seam. Hits the screwdriver handle on the end with the hammer.*

Maybe I can open this seam a little wider? Assuming it IS a seam and not a scrape from earlier pounding.

I promised the magic critters some sausage rolls. Anybody want to see if there's a kitchen and if there's anything edible in it?
Quoth(The Raven)
Arthur: Go, Ashbless! While Papa Smurf is negotiating for forty percent of the gross!
Quoth(The Raven)
*Repair Elves materialise*

Head Elf: Right, then, what doya think ye're playin't? The Palantyr's been flooded with calls! We go ta track down the source... and ye're at th' epicenter! Whot gives?

Arthur: Some idiot set up a reality regulator in the Matabar! We.ve been trying to shut it down...

Head Elf: Whot th'? Them things been banned for twenty years! Butterfly affect, doncha know!

Tobias: Butterfly effect?

Arthur: Chaos theory. One small event, like the flapping of a butterflies wings, can set off a chain reaction that could set off a storm, elsewhere in the world...

Head Elf (Nodding): Start messing wit' local reality, and you set up a cascade effect... 'fore ya know it, you've screwed wit' a dozen others...
Quoth(The Raven)
*Papa Smurf's tinny voice emerges from small crystal ball*

Papa Smurf: Hey! we're handling this!

Head Elf *Sniggers*: Yeah, right! You'll take care of it, then muscle in, like you always do!

Papa Smurf: And YOU don't install hidden devices, while doing repairs, I suppose?

Head Elf: ALL our repairs are requested and certified. And we guarentee our work. *Thought suddenly occurs* although, We HAVE been having some very suspicious bad luck lately... you and your boys wouldn't know anything about that, now would ye?

Papa Smurf *nervously*: Of course not. If you don't want our help, just say so... no need to insult us...

*mini Crystal Ball goes dark*

Head Elf: Right, then, let's get to work...
Quoth(The Raven)
Head Elf: First order of business: Neutralise the field effect... Okay, boys...

*female elf in overalls clears her throat*

Head Elf: ...And Gals, break out the neutraliser!

*Elves begin setting up complicated looking device*

Head Elf: Anyone got any idea how much power this thing is producin'?

*Two Dragons, Winged kitty, and Colin the Robot, all shrug...*

Head Elf: Right. We'll have to play it by ear... Let's start at 1.2 Heinleins, and increase by a half a point a minute, till we get resonance...

Keegan: This is so exciting!
Quoth(The Raven)
Arthur: Resonance?

Head Elf: Yah. The generator is producing an energy field... to neutralise it, we gotta match it, in frequency and output... first we do frequency, increasing the frequency until we start getting a sympathetic vibration, from our machine, here... Then, we can start increasing power, producing our own field, that, hopefully, will cancel out the Generator's field, or enough of it to get to the generator, to shut it down... Simple.

Arthur *Sounding doubtful* If you say so...

Head Elf: Of course, we gotta be careful... the energy field has peaks and valleys in it's frequency... our frequency has to be perfectly matched to it, producing peaks when it produces valleys, and vice versa... If we're off, even a little bit, it could...

*Explosion Rocks the Matabar*

Head Elf: ...Cause the Generator to explode...

*Slightly singed, but once more empowered, Ashbless is holding what's left of a screwdriver to a pile of scrapmetal... The bar is in total disarray. As the critters watch, a piece of the ceiling falls on JimiJimi's head.*

Head Elf: Uhm, we can fix this... No charge, of course...
uninspired pizza guy
*walks in*

well this place is looking a bit worse for wear, what did i miss?
Quoth(The Raven)
*Later, after Elves have left, Ashbless sets plates of goodies down before the two dragons and Keegan... she gives Colin a plate of dust and scrap metal...*

Arthur: Thank you, Ashbless! *Nudges Tobias in the ribs with his elbow*

Tobias: Yeah, thanks!

Keegan: Thanks, aunty Ashbless!

AShbless: Colin, are you sure you wouldn't like something more... Appatising?

Colin: This is wonderful, thanks...

*Ashbless looks critically at Arthur*

Ashbless: The Smurfs?

Arthur *Sheepishly*: Sorry. I couldn't think of anything else...
JimiJimi
*Jimi rubs head*

Ow. Wait a second, I have a head back! I'm no longer energy!

This normality generator majigger is beginning to get annoying.

*Jimi kicks normality generator*

*Jimi vapourises into a puff of smoke... again*

Ah. I foresee a recurring problem, here.
SPEAKERfortheLOST
*suddenly reappears in the middle of the Matabar*

well now... that didn't take too long now did it?

hmmm... where's Jimi? didn't he return to normal after it blew up?

oh well, I guess the Andromeda Strain did get to him...

hmmm.... i just wonder where the pile of matter is then...

oh well...

hey, look Maverick is back!

*Maverick flys over and lands on shoulder*

nice to see you too!

Maverick: wow... nice job! I love the way that you guys redecorated the place!
JimiJimi
*If Jimi was in occupation of a body at this current moment he would be looking very shifty indeed*

Wooooooooooooooooooo! Wooooooooooooooooo! I'm a scary ghost!

Err...

Erm...

I'm da scary ghost of Mr. T! Foo'! Foo' pitying! Guys, come on! I'm trying my hardest! It's starting to get boring being energy...
arachnidoc17
Watch out for blood clots, everyone!


... Jimi? Howsabout you embody yourself in this conveniently-placed, life-size Jimi marionette until we find a way to get your body back?
uninspired pizza guy
Um, isnt that a boxing bag?
JimiJimi
*A mop comes walking out of the cupboard*

*The mop continues to walk across the room*

*The mop falls over*

Damn it! Why the hell did I think I'd ever be able to posess a mop?
silvermoon
And what's wrong with the boxing bag?
tv with legs
this reminds me, where are my flying skulls?
blink.gif
*looks at the machine*
YOU SICK B*SDT*RD!!! YOU TOOK MY SKULLS AWAY!!!
*starts to go after the mcahine*
*jimi and doc hold down TWL*
LET ME OFF DAMIT!!! I WANT THAT MACHINE, GAH!!!
EERRRGH.
....
im cool, im cool.
*doc and jimi let go*
WHY YOU LITTLE B**CH, WAIT TILL I GET YOU!!!
*doc and jimi jump on TWL*
GRR!!! LET ME GOO!!!
AHHH, im gonna get that machine!!!
quoth:tobais, do you mind?
tobais:no, not at all.
*doc and jimi move while tobais sits on twl*
AHHHH!!! get on of me!!!
*TWLS flicker red*
*machine goes off*
*TWl gets shocled*
GAHAHAHAHHA!!! owwww
.... dry.gif
this reminds me of the time when i was tied down to the telephone pole.
uninspired pizza guy
*scraches head*

so jimi, how on earth did you manage to get that mop to walk?

where's SFTL? im sure he would know a bit about this machine.
Quoth(The Raven)
QUOTE (tv with legs @ Aug 25 2005, 07:16 PM)
this reminds me, where are my flying skulls?
blink.gif
*looks at the machine*
YOU SICK B*SDT*RD!!! YOU TOOK MY SKULLS AWAY!!!
*starts to go after the mcahine*
*jimi and doc hold down TWL*
LET ME OFF DAMIT!!! I WANT THAT MACHINE, GAH!!!
EERRRGH.
....
im cool, im cool.
*doc and jimi let go*
WHY YOU LITTLE B**CH, WAIT TILL I GET YOU!!!
*doc and jimi jump on TWL*
GRR!!! LET ME GOO!!!
AHHH, im gonna get that machine!!!
quoth:tobais, do you mind?
tobais:no, not at all.
*doc and jimi move while tobais sits on twl*
AHHHH!!! get on of me!!!
*TWLS flicker red*
*machine goes off*
*TWl gets shocled*
GAHAHAHAHHA!!! owwww
.... dry.gif
this reminds me of the time when i was tied down to the telephone pole.
*


Well, I'm sure Tobias wouldn't mind sitting on you, but at two feet tall, and about 75 pounds, soaking wet, I doubt he'd be very effective at it...
silvermoon
QUOTE
Well, I'm sure Tobias wouldn't mind sitting on you, but at two feet tall, and about 75 pounds, soaking wet, I doubt he'd be very effective at it...

That would largely depend on how big TWL is. But just in case...

*conviently finds a large safe*

There, that should hold him.
Quoth(The Raven)
At the bar:

Arthur: ...So, the Bartender asks: "How do you feel about Flushing, New York?" Then the guy at the end of the bar says, "I think it's a good idea..."

Keegan(Pauses, Considering): I don't get it.
JimiJimi
Wow, it's just like being a poltergeist. Wheeeee!

*Random objects begin to rattle around in their places*

Ooh...

*A draw opens and a few kitchen knives begin to fly around the room*
tv with legs
dry.gif
now i havethis safe on me.
*looks at safe*
i hate you!!!
get me out of here!!!!
JimiJimi
*A knife stabs Doc's right shoulder*

Ooh, sh...

Erm... try not to look at the blood... We can sort this out, just...

Err... sorry?
SPEAKERfortheLOST
*suddenly appears in the Matabar*

ok, folks looks like we need to fix this Jimi problem...

*raises hands, clasps them together, and starts chanting*

Jimi: er, what is he doing?

Arthur: I've seen this before, this is about when... OH Sh**!

*Arthur hits a button and an impentrable 10" thick wall of pure Titanium drops into place over the bar*

Jimi: um... I have no idea what you are doing but i don't want to be part of it... any one hlep? please?

*everyone else in the Matabar ducks into a separate area and hits a button making another impentrable wall of Titanium fall into place*

Jimi: um.. could we talk this out?

*hands slowly come apart and an extremely bright light shines out*

Jimi: oooo... what is that?

*hands suddenly thrust around to the back of teh glowing ball of light and push forward making the ball hit Jimi square in the face*

Jimi: AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

*a sudden quiet exudes through the Matabar*

welll, that wasnt too hard... OK, GUYS YOU CAN COME OUT NOW!

*the walls retract into the ceiling and everyone come to look at Jimi who is back to a normal sleeping human body*
JimiJimi
Jimi's Dream:

Dark. But there is a light. In the corner.

Jimi: Hey, someone stole my crisps! They were on that table right there! The cheeky bugger stole my crisps!

The light grows. It is not light, it is the bar. Jimi is on the floor, trying to hit it off with a cockroach. Jimi stands up, after realising that the cockroach is taken.

Jimi: Ooh, a knife!

Jimi picks up a knife, and pricks his finger with it. He walks over to arachnidoc.

Jimi: Duck Doc! Duck Doc! DUCK DOC! DUCK DOC! DUCK DOC!

Jimi stabs arachnidoc in the shoulder. Blood comes pouring out.

Jimi: DUCK DOC DUCK!

Jimi continues to stab. Blood is spraying everywhere.

Arachnidoc: Aaaaaah!

Jimi: Aaaaaah!
arachnidoc17
Quick, someone get me a permanent marker, while he's still asleep!
voices_in_my_head
... Why don't we just tatto it on? evil.gif
arachnidoc17
Okay, but just for safety, I'm going to draw the smiley face on his forehead now.

*Draws smiley on Jimi's head with a permanent marker, then prepares him for tatooing*
SPEAKERfortheLOST
here...

allow me!

*points finger at Jimi and the smiley face is suddenly burnt into his forehead*

er... dont worry about that pentagram on his cheek....



or that anarchy symbol either...
silvermoon
*gets needle ready*

Ok, I can start the tattooing anytime now. Think I should have cleaned the equipment first? Nah, me either.
tv with legs
QUOTE (SPEAKERfortheLOST @ Aug 26 2005, 06:23 PM)
here...

allow me!

*points finger at Jimi and the smiley face is suddenly burnt into his forehead*

er... dont worry about that pentagram on his cheek....



or that anarchy symbol either...
*

since when did you have the powers of hell?
you had no such thing!!!
you are not even a demon.
JimiJimi
*Jimi gets out emergency second body and his soul hops into it*

Sorry guys, but I'm not quite sure I want an arse tatooed on my face.

Carry on tatooing that body if you want, although it is dead, you know.

Also, how's Arachnidoc's arm healing up?
SPEAKERfortheLOST
er.. doc's dead Jimi...

you killed him!

he died while you slept...

you evil, evil being!
tv with legs
does this meen that the normality field generator thingy is gone?
Quoth(The Raven)
Arthur(Wiping glass): Yep. That nuisance has been sent to the big scrap heap in the sky!

Flying mouse (Leading delegation): *Ahem* Pardon us, sir...

Arthur: Yes?

Flying mouse: We were wondering if there were any odd jobs we could do, around here... we work for cookies...

Arthur: I'm sure we could find something... but at the risk of screwing up a good deal... why not work for money... Then you could Buy all the cookies you want?

Flying Mouse: We could do that? Buy our own cookies?

Wyvern(Suddenly appearing in the bar): Trying to steal my workforce! *Glares at Arthur* And by Preying on their addictions! They need well balanced meals, to be healthy, not just cookies! *Glares at Mice* Look, you haven't even touched your mouse chow!

Flying Mouse: Mouse chow! Blech! Why would we want that, when we can have cookies?

Flying Mice: Yeah! Cookies!

Wyvern: Okay, make yourselves sick! When you're ready to eat healthy, you can come on back... I'll treat you well!

*Flying mice make rude noises, as Wyvern departs*

Wyvern (To herself): They'll be back. They always come back...
arachnidoc17
Well, actually, I'm not doin' too shabby over here.

Even if I DO lose my arm to gangreen, I've probably got something locked up in the ol' cooler.
tv with legs
yay, im back to my demon\zombie self, yay
teehee
*sumons flaming flying skulls that are impenatrebal to anything but hellish powers*
well, i see that yall dont have hellish powers like me(except TNL), so haha
now aobut those pesky flying animals...
arachnidoc17
Well, hell is made up of greed, malice, lust, jeaolusy, malcontempt, anger, and pretty much negative feelings.

Well, for starters, I need to push my energies out of balance to match the alignment of Hell. I hope this doesn't have to last too long, because I don't really like feeling this way.

Now, I need to focus my mind and visiualise the body, energy, and aura of both me and my targets (In this case, the Hellspawn.)

Now, I focus the energy into my arms, and guide the energy to my fingertips, where it will gether between my arms.

For a better result, I will also include the element of Electricity to my energy.

Now, I release the energy upon my targets.

*Hellspawn surge with electricity, fall to the ground, and dissapper in bursts of flame*

Bam.
Quoth(The Raven)
Announcement: The Flying mice have decided that they will go back to Tribe Wyvern... If Wyvern will have them back... My heart isn't in this storyline... for explanations, check out my new thread... Losing my mind? I hope to pull myself together, soon... thanks, and goodnight...
tv with legs
QUOTE (arachnidoc17 @ Aug 27 2005, 09:37 PM)
Well, hell is made up of greed, malice, lust, jeaolusy, malcontempt, anger, and pretty much negative feelings.

Well, for starters, I need to push my energies out of balance to match the alignment of Hell.  I hope this doesn't have to last too long, because I don't really like feeling this way.

Now, I need to focus my mind and visiualise the body, energy, and aura of both me and my targets (In this case, the Hellspawn.)

Now, I focus the energy into my arms, and guide the energy to my fingertips, where it will gether between my arms.

For a better result, I will also include the element of Electricity to my energy.

Now, I release the energy upon my targets.

*Hellspawn surge with electricity, fall to the ground, and dissapper in bursts of flame*

Bam.
*

i said the skulls are imune to anything but hellish powers. and a really skull would just get blackish, so haha, they are ok!!
*Skulls continue looking for the flying animals*
*out of the blue, the skulls explode*
WTF!!!
*scratches head*
how didthis happen?
doc, get over here, we need some paper and some pencils.
*doc and TWL work on how the skulls exploded out of the blue*
arachnidoc17
Well, spontaneous combustion has occured before, but not to so many victims at once...
SPEAKERfortheLOST
*suddenly appears in the Matabar*

wow.. i didnt know that would work so well...

*admires the skull fragments scattered about*

i must see what those other buttons do...

*disappears*
Quoth(The Raven)
QUOTE (tv with legs @ Aug 28 2005, 01:17 PM)
QUOTE (arachnidoc17 @ Aug 27 2005, 09:37 PM)
Well, hell is made up of greed, malice, lust, jeaolusy, malcontempt, anger, and pretty much negative feelings.

Well, for starters, I need to push my energies out of balance to match the alignment of Hell.  I hope this doesn't have to last too long, because I don't really like feeling this way.

Now, I need to focus my mind and visiualise the body, energy, and aura of both me and my targets (In this case, the Hellspawn.)

Now, I focus the energy into my arms, and guide the energy to my fingertips, where it will gether between my arms.

For a better result, I will also include the element of Electricity to my energy.

Now, I release the energy upon my targets.

*Hellspawn surge with electricity, fall to the ground, and dissapper in bursts of flame*

Bam.
*

i said the skulls are imune to anything but hellish powers. and a really skull would just get blackish, so haha, they are ok!!
*Skulls continue looking for the flying animals*
*out of the blue, the skulls explode*
WTF!!!
*scratches head*
how didthis happen?
doc, get over here, we need some paper and some pencils.
*doc and TWL work on how the skulls exploded out of the blue*
*



BIC doesn't allow predation in the 'bar... I think It's in the bylaws... Somewhere...
silvermoon
Apparently BIC's bylaws can blow up things that break the laws. Either that, or Arachnidoc really does have hellish powers. *backs away*
Speaking of BIC, what happened to her? Does she not stop by anymore?
Quoth(The Raven)
Well, every universe has to have natural laws, and a way to enforce them... the 'Bar's bylaws ARE it's natural laws... Which, I supposse is why the "Normality Regulator" was doomed to failure... sooner or later, the bylaws would have kicked in... and something would have had to give... and if the natural laws of a place break down, then, naturally, the place itself would soon follow... Right?
tv with legs
*looks at paper*
gadzooks dok!!
you have found out how to consentrate your mind to do powers!!!
amazing.
doc, you nkow what this could do?
damn,doc, your a genius.
too bad you can only do electric surges.
hehe, i have pyrokenisis.
*snaps finger*
candle burns*
voices_in_my_head
You guys may have strange powers, but I have...

THE LOOK!

*stares at the candle*

*candle goes out*
Ashbless
QUOTE (silvermoon @ Aug 28 2005, 07:31 PM)
Apparently BIC's bylaws can blow up things that break the laws. Either that, or Arachnidoc really does have hellish powers. *backs away*
Speaking of BIC, what happened to her? Does she not stop by anymore?
*


B.I.C. aka Because I Can aka Jim has vanished into the strange outer world known as real life. I hope he's okay but haven't heard from him in a few months. Hopefully he'll be back one of these days. smile.gif
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.