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Quoth(The Raven)
QUOTE (Ashbless @ Aug 29 2005, 06:12 PM)
B.I.C. aka Because I Can aka Jim has vanished into the strange outer world known as real life. 

*Gulp!* a fate worse than death!
Well, every universe has to have natural laws, and a way to enforce them... the 'Bar's bylaws ARE it's natural laws... Which, I supposse is why the "Normality Regulator" was doomed to failure... sooner or later, the bylaws would have kicked in... and something would have had to give... and if the natural laws of a place break down, then, naturally, the place itself would soon follow... Right?

Makes sense. After all, you can't have a place without natural laws. At least not one I can conceive of. Not saying it can't exist, of course, but it would be outside what I could comprehend.

*teleports to the other side of the 'Bar*

Sure, pyrokinesis and all that is fun, but I like the ability to manipulate space!

*hovers about a foot off the ground*
*floats into the Matabar*

er.. this is bad... really bad...

the natural balance of this bar is continually corrupting the other side of the globe...

its the butterfly effect gone worse!

*suddenly vanishes*
Butterfly effect? People vanishing? I need a drink. Where's that Colin?
Quoth(The Raven)
I'm not sure where Colin is... or what condition he's in. He was programmed as a janitor, but after all his upgrades/rebuilds, he might be able to pass as a bartender... Arthur, the certified Dragon bartender, is off nursing a headache caused by dealing with continuity inversions, reality altering devices, and negotiating with Smurfs (Rule one: always count your fingers, after shaking hands with a Smurf...). His son, Tobias is a bartender in training, but can only practice under the watchful eye of a certified Bartender...

So, I think you're temporarily out of luck...
*reappears in Matabar*

hmmm... looks as if we need a certified bartender...

well if we must have one...


*Maverick flys in wearing a bartenders outfit*

Maverick: the bar is open!

well have fun Maverick!
God, is it that time again !!!!! Mines a nice G & T please
funky fairy
Can you get a drink in here then?
Can I have a dry white wine please?
This bar appears to have dried up !!!!!

funky fairy
Im dancing......anyone joining I won't look like Billy no mates!
I'm in the mood for dancin, romancin lalalalalal

Except youre a bird and I'm a bird and I don't do handbags
Gah! Invasion of the newbies!
erg... it would appear that I need to get better duct tape...

hmm... where's Arthur or Tobias when you need them?

oh well...
Quoth(The Raven)
QUOTE (SPEAKERfortheLOST @ Sep 1 2005, 02:50 PM)
*reappears in Matabar*

hmmm... looks as if we need a certified bartender...

well if we must have one...


*Maverick flys in wearing a bartenders outfit*

Maverick: the bar is open!

well have fun Maverick!

Sooooo... This means he passed his mail order bartending class?
uninspired pizza guy
looks like it, i dont think you can fail a mail order anything...

Maveric, ill have a pinacolada. (sp)
yes Maverick has passed his bartending classes.. he was the top of his class!

i feel so proud to let him work here... *sniff* Maverick is growing up so fast!!

tv with legs
... im bored
*spawns in hell*
demon number 5: cmon, you already took my abilty to breath fire!
demon number 8: sorry, but you owe me, i think ill take your prized trophys*snickers*
demon number 5: NOOO not those
Twl: yall are still playing poker??
funky fairy
Right whats everone having??
seeing as you're paying I'll have a double Glenfiddich on ice please and don't hold the whisky

funky fairy
OhMy God, are you following me?? Okay, hang on, I'll just get my purse.......ugh loads of moths, but thats another story!!!!!
Think stalking is the modern term, but hey what the hell, as long as you are paying do i care?
funky fairy
Right 'ere ya are mate, gerrit down ya neck!
Think I said, don't be sparing !!!!!!
funky fairy
tv with legs
*slips in behind bar*

*serves up drinks for the customers*

You're doing a great job Maverick but how do you manage without an opposable thumb?

*spots Keegan watching from her basket by the fireplace*

Did you want to learn also?
Nope. I'm good. I think I'll just handle pest control.

*mice flap by. Keegan ignores them and continues watching the bar*
*Jimi stumbles in through the door*

100 new pennies make a pound...

50... err... 50 2 pennies make a pound...

20... erm... 20 of the other things make a pound...

32 3 pennies make a 96p...

Or something like that.

*Colin trundles in afterwards, looking very rusty*

Jimi: I couldn't afford a rocket to Jupiter, so I took Colin. Colin then reminded me that I couldn't breathe in space, so we went to the waterworks instead.

Colin: *Inspects rust* Yes. Yes we did.
funky fairy
Anyone here gonna buy me a drink then???
*Slides drink across bartop...*

*...which then goes over the edge and smashes on the floor.*

Err, have this salt shaker instead.

*Passes salt shaker*
funky fairy
I dont want salt, I want dry white wine please barman!!!!
Yr clothes are all wet now!!!! Get the swine that did it !!!

He'll have to pay for this you know!!
funky fairy
My clothes are stinky and wet and covered in salt!!!

*Presses button on Colin and blasts off to deep deep space*

Jimi: So, Colin, what kind of finish do you want?

Colin: What's available?

Jimi: Well, I've heard that the gold 'bling bling' look is the in thing for robots this season...

Colin: No, I'm not a chavbot. What else is there?

Jimi: A high quality, stainless steel, non-magnetic finish is also apparently in fashion currently for androids and cyborgs.

Colin: I'm a robot.

Jimi: Ah. Well, you could just have normal titanium again.

Colin: Alright.

Jimi: Want a cool paint job?

Colin: Err... ok...
funky fairy
I need wine, before I shrivel up dehydrated, wheres the staff in this place!!!!!!
tv with legs
i killed then all
deel with it.
*bak in hell*
bartender!! one zombie!!!
*looks up*
haha, yummy zombie!!!
hahaha, i got stuff, you dont
*back at the bar*
Jimi:screw you*serves self*
Jimi: There Colin, your paint job is finished.

Colin: Ooh, very nice.

Finally, we can all bask in the glory of what Colin looks like!
tv with legs
ahh colin your hidious
*shoots fireball at colin*
now you look better
Quoth(The Raven)
*Arthur pops up behind bar, wearing bow tie and jacket*
Arthur: Boy, am I glad I had the teleporter installed...
*Arthur moves sleeping Maverick to the side of the bar*
Arthur: Nice kid, but no stamina...
*Arthur looks hopefully out at crowd*
Arthur: Now, who wants what?
*A number of orders are shouted out*
Arthur: Got it...
*Arthur sets up a number of glasses on the bar, and mixes drinks, assembly-line style... cutting up a lime, he places segments in the first, third, and sixth glasses... Then Vodka in the Second, third, fourth, and eighth glasses, and so on... Each time an ingredient finished a drink, he slid it to the individual who'd ordered it. In minutes, all ten orders had been filled, perfectly, and were in the drinker's hands...*
Arthur: Who wants peanuts? Soy chips? Fried Wolve's nipples?
*Arthur begins putting out bowls of munchies, as Maverick opens a sleepy eye.*
Maverick(Yawning): Sorry, Uncle Arthur... I thought I could handle it on my own...
Arthur: Not as easy as it looks, is it?
Maverick: Nope. It got real busy, real fast...
Arthur: You'll get the hang of it, kid... after all, you're still only a couple of months old...
Nice picture, I must say. How did you get it to hover like that?

*slides up to bar*

I think I'll have a few nipples. I haven't tasted any in awhile.

I feel unclean...
Quoth(The Raven)
*Arthur catches sight of Colin's new finish, blinks a few times, then slips on a pair of sunglasses (No mean feat, as he has no ears...)... He then Slips a pair of miniature Sunglasses on Maverick.*

Maverick: Thanks, Unc.

Arthur: No Prob. Colin, a word, please?

*Colin trundles over*

Colin: Yes, sir?

Arthur: Uhm. Colin, you're a nice guy, an excellent janitor, and a fair repair-bot... But that new paint job... I mean, it's bad enough for the humans, but I can see the three colors they can't, and take it from me, it's truly bad...

Maverick: It IS pretty bad, Sir. Sorry.

*Colin looks over at JimiJimi, his eye sensors glowing red*

JimiJimi: Well, I think it looks cool...
Quoth(The Raven)
Maverick: Well, maybe if the stripes weren't so random...

*Arthur nods*

Arthur: Maybe a nice, organised pattern... a twead, perhaps, or a houndstooth...

*Maverick springs to full attention, arching his back, and looking about, Wildly*

Maverick: A hound? Where? If he comes sniffing around here, I'll kick the stuffing outta him... *Growls deep in his throat*

Arthur: Down, boy, it's just a name... there's no hound...

*Maverick settles down*

Maverick: Oh. Nevermind...
C'mon Colin! Don't you like it? Isn't it a very... err... interesting design as created by masking tape? Ah hell. I ain't painting over it for a while.

*Strokes beard*

Agh! My beard has gone! Who stole my beard?

*Notices Arachnidoc in corner with one arm, sporting a familiar beard*

*Jimi changes mind*

Infact, I think I will respray you Colin. Tell me which you prefer.

(Now my avatar!)
Hey! What if we clone some hair and sell it to gullible old men who don't notice it's fur?

No, I don't know where that came from either.
*Colin flies in holding fur cloning machine*

Colin: Hey! I've just had a great idea! What if we clone some hair and sell it to gullible old men who don't notice it's fur?

Jimi: Wow.
*appears in Matabar*

hmmm... now where did you ever think that that was a good paint scheme for Colin?!?!?!

it would appear that the total consensus is to have him repainted...

Sooo..... please take care of that minor problem!


I NEED a drink!!!
Colin is fine with his new paintjob. Quit slagging him off!

*Jimi pulls beard from Doc and sticks it on self*

No more stealing my beard.
But... But... I'm a pir-

Ah, to hell with it. I lost my eyepatch a few days ago and my hook is starting to rust. Martini!
Quoth(The Raven)
QUOTE (arachnidoc17 @ Sep 6 2005, 08:36 PM)
But... But... I'm a pir-

Ah, to hell with it.  I lost my eyepatch a few days ago and my hook is starting to rust.  Martini!

Arthur: Righto!

*Arthur places glass on the bar... then does a double take… there’s a small man in an Italian suit, sitting in the glass…*

Arthur: and who, sir, are you?

Little man: Adam Martini, Who’s askin’?

Arthur: OOOOKay. This is obviously one of those moments when it sucks to be a magical conduit…

Maverick: What’s wrong, Uncle Arthur?

Arthur: Tell me, do you see a tiny man, sitting in a martini glass?

Maverick: Yep.

*Arthur nods.*

Arthur: Yep. Definitely Magic gone haywire…

Maverick: I don’t understand…

Arthur (With a sigh): I’m just getting tired. One of the drawbacks of being a magical critter, Maverick. We have to be in constant control of magic, or it starts going strange… it's time for me to take a nap... otherwise, reality could really get twisted in a knot.

*Arthur shakes his head, tiredly…*

Arthur: Time to go home to my hammock... Maverick, can you take over, until Tobias gets here?

*Maverick stands on his hind legs and sketches a salute.*

Maverick: Yes sir!

Arthur: Oh, and see what our little friend wants, hmmm?

Martini: and what’s wrong with my size?

Arthur: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean any offense…

Martini: Hey, you may be bigger’n me, scaleface, but it doesn’t mean I can’t wipe th’ floor wit’ yas…

Arthur (Irritated, and losing his cool): look, fella, I eat punks like you for breakfast… literally!

Martini: Try it, and you’ll be missin’ a few teeth, bub!

*Arthur sighs, and rubs his eyes, tiredly.*

Arthur: *Sigh* Just give him a drink on the house, Mav, then get rid of him… If he gives you any trouble, eat him…

Maverick: Uhm, Unc. Mom doesn’t want me eating junk food, and I’m pretty sure he qualifies…

*Arthur Shrugs*

Arthur: Well, then, get your siblings together for a game of table tennis… he’ll make a decent ball, I think…

*Maverick smiles, and casts an evil look at Mr. Martini, who tries to crouch as low as possible, in his glass…

Arthur wanders away, muttering….*
*Jimi wonders in humming quietly*

Doo dum dum doo... dee dee...

Got any Beck's?

Dee dum dum da dum dum dah!

*Colin trundles up*

Colin: I've come to inquire about my paintjob.

Jimi: What's wrong with it, little buddy?

Colin: Well, it's just a bit... well...

Jimi: Well...?

Colin: Well... crappy.

Jimi: Y'what?!

Colin: Err... I didn't mean to cause any offence...

Jimi: To the naughty corner with you!

*Jimi points a finger, and Colin slowly hovers off to the corner*
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