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Apollyon
Caught in the shades of grey
Between good and evil
In a soul once light as day
But now a tarnished steel
From a fire of love
Burning away at the core
A moment of strength
A decision
No more


So umm...
Comments please smile.gif
Zin
Yay....no more biggrin.gif
fire_dragon
evil person
your poem's really good
ring ring ring ring ring
banana phone
oh
ring ring ring ring ring
banana phone
its so blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah
you know the rest
. rolleyes.gif .........
uuu
I don't know what to say!
PsychWardMike
I think it's pretty boring, in truth. Your major problem, in my humble opinion, is that the imagery you use (firy love, swords, and what not) all are cliche'd, dead since 80s thrash metal. It also seems rather lacking in the realm of a point, and ultimately comes across as a prelude to junior high D&D. Now I don't mean to be harsh, but this poem needs a lot of work (or it might be better to start anew). Keep writing, refine yourself.
depressed lonely crazy person
it feels like it has a lot of potential but as PWM said it's more than a little cliche'd like a try-hard teenygoth might do after picking up on what the media sugests they be interested in.
Apollyon
Very intelligent critiques...

Considering I wrote this in my pathetic teen goth stage...
wink.gif
PsychWardMike
Heh. Don't worry... we all go through those. I went through my own.
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