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fire_dragon
I spread my wings and fly
In the moonlit sky
Harmony in the air
Happiness filled with care
I fly with love
Soaring over shadows
Wishing for the wind
I fall towards the earth
Falling
Falling
Shadows grabbing my will
My resistance fading
But alas
My wings fill up with peace, hope, desperation, and darkness
I shoot up into the glowing sober stars
Their sugary glow capturing my sight
Flying high above the moonlight
I stand tall
The first splinter of the sun peeking through the hills
I gaze up at the fading moon so orange and silvery to the touch
Disappearing into the sky
Are the last glowing stars
Happy, welled inside every spirits hearts
Dancing as the sun shines
So brightly ever before
Giddy and glowing are the souls of every human
As they wake
Flying in the sky feeling the wind blow in your face
The coldness grasping the warmth as night comes again
Wrapped in terror of children
As the shadows come in
Fighting
As harmony comes putting children to bed
And happiness
Chasing away shadows
I watch while I fly for I am the spirit
Of the flute
I play the shadows away
Blowing the fears
I will not bring sorrow
I will not bring death
I will bring love
I will protect my warrior and hold her fears
Stars waking
Flying through the night
Listen to my melody I play
You will never fear the darkness
Fight against the shadows
Bring Love
Bring Harmony
Bring Peace
Bring all the wonders of the world together
With love and hope
You are the sun
You are the moon
You are everything
My voice is true
I sing for the moon
But not for the sun
I watch over everybody
Soar through the air
Fly up high
Dance along the stars
And dream for the moon…

God My Poem's Long huh.gif

sad.gif Comments please?!? smile.gif
I_am_the_best
I really like the idea that the song of the flute is flying about. It's very beautiful but I think that's it's maybe a bit long and maybe you could try to, instead of writing everything, shorten it by just using one or two words in a sentence too imply. I don't know, my guess. It's really great though!
)DonkeyRoo(
I agree with emma, a bit long but good. i like it biggrin.gif
Apollyon
I agree with those above. Up to about the 29th line, I got this incredible feeling from your poem. I was filled with happiness. Your word choice and phrasing is excellent. But at about line 30, the feeling started to fade, and it didn't seem to be quite as potent as before. So maybe at about that point you could cut right to the end, which was also very good. Just an idea.

Keep up the great writing! laugh.gif
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