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insaneperc1015
this is my first real post, and i dont usually go all out like this, but i realized something, and this seems like the place to say it. im on other forums, but

i just got out of the hospital. i was there for 10 days because i had to get an 8 hour surgery. i have MRKH, and for the past year i have done nothing but feel sorry for myself. i cant have babies, i couldnt have sex, i hated myself and everything about my life. i've been through a year of not sleeping, cutting, crying, not going to school because i couldnt face people, losing the man i love, twice, and having my friend stab me in the back the worst way she could, and i've realized something.

i really dont have it that bad.

there were kids at childrens hospital, that are losing there skin, there was a 9 year old who has had three strokes since april, there was a 7 year old baby who was raped for gods sake.. and they are going to be messed up forever. there was a girl across the hall from me that i hadn't seen since middle school, and she is going to be in the hospital for a month with Cistic Fibrosis.

im fine. everything with me is fine now. im depressed, and i have a lot to get through, but im not going to die. i have friends and family who love me, and im still alive. im a fairly healthy 18 year old girl. im getting ready to go to college. i have everything to look forward to in my life.

i realized today, that its not easy to get over certain things, but if you dont start looking at the brighter side of life, your life is going to pass you by before you even know it.

sorry if it seems like im preaching. im not trying to. i just wanted to tell people what i realized, and this seemed like as good a place as any. im not saying that no one has the right to be depressed, because hell, im still fairly bad off.. i just figure its a place to start..

thanks for listening.
Little Green Goth
I'm glad that you've realised that. Sad as it is. I will say though that I had no clue as to what this MRKH was but after doing a google search I found the following artical:

We've heard of heart malformations and limb deformities but genital malformations? This is part of Mayer Rokitanksy Kuster Hauser Syndrome(MRKH) which includes a short or nonexistent vagina, no cervix, and a partial or absent uterus. The causes are unknown.


Most women find about this when they are teenagers. Some girls may find out at a young age when they have surgeries for some other problems such as hernias. Yet the majority find out when their periods won't come. They despair because sisters got their periods at earlier ages. They think they're "late bloomers".



A visit to the obstetrician-gynecologist will be futile when the doctors are unable to do pelvic exams on them because of their short or nonexistent vaginas. Instead doctors use laparoscopic surgery where they insert a light through the navel or they use ultrasound to make a diagnosis. This way, the doctors are able to ascertain the condition of the reproductive organs.


Doctors should find normal ovaries and fallopian tubes. However, they should find no uterus or an incomplete one. An incomplete one is usually removed because it may cause cramps. Once the doctors find these problems, the question changes from why haven't I gotten a period to how can a doctor "cure" it? A doctor can't cure the 'no periods' part because the women don't have uteruses.


However, there are methods to achieve longer vaginal length through dilation or surgery. Most women have to use dilators, plastic objects that come in increasing sizes as the women use them over time to achieve full vaginal length. In more severe cases, there are several types of surgery available. Understanding partners and these methods usually allow MRKH women to have satisfying sex lives.


Another question is what about children? As of now, medical science will not allow MRKH women to bear their own children. There is adoption. There is also gestational surrogacy, where an egg is taken from the ovaries of the MRKH woman and the sperm from a man to produce an embryo which is implanted in the "host uterus" of another woman. The child or children that result from this are biologically the MRKH woman's. Other problems may come from this syndrome as well such as kidney problems, hearing loss, and bone malformations.


The psychological factors of this syndrome should be considered as as well as the physical ones. Women may grow depressed or may not feel like real women, and counseling should be available to them. It should be stressed that MRKH women are biological women with XX chromosomes and secondary sex characteristics such as breasts and body hair.


Greater awareness of this syndrome has become possible because of the Internet: a search on any of the major search engines should pull up sites, online clubs, and support networks for women with MRKH. In the past, women used to feel ashamed and isolated because of MRKH, but thanks to the Internet, they can empower themselves with the latest MRKH information and connections with others like them.



I want to thank you, Insane, for posting what happened to you. I didn't know such a thing existed but now that I think about it, I have a cousin who might have this. I'm not sure. I'll have to check with the parents... anyways *gives big hug* Remember you can always come to us forumites with any problems ya have. It makes us feel more human and such...well...at least it does for me. tongue.gif
EvilSpork
I had to look it up as well Green, and I found that same article (earlier today, I didn't really know how to respond to this.)

I'm really glad you shared your experiences even though I really doubt any of us really know you. I suggest you start posting some more, as it will then be (probably) less odd posting about your life out of the blue. I agree, it makes something seem more human when problems and ideas are shared rather than just the good in life.
insaneperc1015
i honestly dont know why i posted it here, because i dont know anyone. maybe thats why. i just realized it. so i said it. *shrugs*
sorry if i freaked anyone out.
MistressAlti
I'm gonna move this to Personal Concerns.

Thank you for sharing your story, insaneperc.
patback87
This makes all my problems look like crap. That is very sad, i have a cousin who can't have kids because she has had cemo twice and is only 15 years old, it is heart wrenching when someone close to you gets something like that. We have a lady that works with us that is probably one of the nicest people in the world, she had cancer once and beat then about a month ago she found out she had cancer again. Only this time it is spreading, it has already spread to three places. Also she has quit working she is on a 6 month leave of absence, but early this week the docter told her to enjoy her next 6 months. Several people have taken it very hard at work, espically my friend who was very close to her, I feel very hard hit, she was one of the first people that I talked to when I started and she was so nice. So I look at my problems and they are really nothing, I suppose it all puts it into perspective.
Don'tMakeMeBiteYou
There are so many awful experiences people have to go through. While MRKH isn't the worse thing that could happen, as you stated, it can't be easy. But think about it--if not for MRKH, would you consider adoption? I suppose it sounds like I'm preaching, but there are so many unwanted children out there, and maybe someday when you want a child, you could help make someone else's life a lot better.

::hug:: I hope you can heal from all the things that have happened to you in the past year, and that life gets better. Cheesiest thing ever, but... If it's not too emotionally draining, maybe you could volunteer at a hospital to help brighten the lives of children like the ones you've mentioned.

Good luck in college, and I'm glad you've decided not to let life pass you by!

::sigh:: I've really got to learn to stop preaching.
Daria
You should feel very proud of yourself for coming forward, even if it is on a forum where you don't know anyone, and saying what you said. Sometimes it takes a whole lifetime for people to figure out what you have, and during that time they live in a world where nothing goes right.

I sometimes get this overwhelming guilt about my life and how good comparatively, it is. All the shit that has happened to me in life doesn't matter when you know that there are people who have nowhere to live, no family, no friends, no access to simple things in life like clean water, food and medication. And then it makes me feel even worse whn I plan to do things like spend 500 on going to Iceland for a week just because I have never been there. That five hundred pounds could save someones life, and I am using it to go on an aeroplane to an island, and to stay somewhere.
I am not going in the not-too-distant-future, and if I do, I will try and match the amount of money I spend and split it between some charities.

Once again- well done insaneperc1015.
xx
insaneperc1015
QUOTE (Don'tMakeMeBiteYou @ Jun 18 2005, 11:55 PM)
There are so many awful experiences people have to go through.  While MRKH isn't the worse thing that could happen, as you stated, it can't be easy.  But think about it--if not for MRKH, would you consider adoption?  I suppose it sounds like I'm preaching, but there are so many unwanted children out there, and maybe someday when you want a child, you could help make someone else's life a lot better.

::hug::  I hope you can heal from all the things that have happened to you in the past year, and that life gets better.  Cheesiest thing ever, but...  If it's not too emotionally draining, maybe you could volunteer at a hospital to help brighten the lives of children like the ones you've mentioned.

Good luck in college, and I'm glad you've decided not to let life pass you by!

::sigh:: I've really got to learn to stop preaching.
*



actually, i was going to adopt at least one child anyway.. just because i know how many kids there are that need good homes. a lot of my friends are adopted, and it makes me happy that they were placed with good families, so i wanted to do the same thing..
Erin
damn. thats terrible. and things that happen to others do make my probs look rather unimportant.

its sad what people go through, and how they experience many levels of pain. some emotional, some physical, some mental. either way..its terrible. My 8 year old cousin is developing diabetes. poor thing hasnt even lived yet and he's already getting serious problems. makes my ad hd and hemophelia look ...REALLY...unimporant.
Daria
Really not wanting to offend, but I thought that haemophilia can only affect males, but the gene can be passed on through females?

Sorry if I have got this wrong, just wondered...
trunks_girl26
Hemophilia affects both males and females, but it's much harder for females to get it because both chomosomes need to carry the gene for it. The father must have hemophilia, and the mother must be a carrier of it in order for a female to have hemophilia. [/bio geek]
Daria
Thanks for that, now I know smile.gif
priscilla
QUOTE (insaneperc1015 @ Jun 17 2005, 09:38 PM) *
this is my first real post, and i dont usually go all out like this, but i realized something, and this seems like the place to say it. im on other forums, but

i just got out of the hospital. i was there for 10 days because i had to get an 8 hour surgery. i have MRKH, and for the past year i have done nothing but feel sorry for myself. i cant have babies, i couldnt have sex, i hated myself and everything about my life. i've been through a year of not sleeping, cutting, crying, not going to school because i couldnt face people, losing the man i love, twice, and having my friend stab me in the back the worst way she could, and i've realized something.

i really dont have it that bad.

there were kids at childrens hospital, that are losing there skin, there was a 9 year old who has had three strokes since april, there was a 7 year old baby who was raped for gods sake.. and they are going to be messed up forever. there was a girl across the hall from me that i hadn't seen since middle school, and she is going to be in the hospital for a month with Cistic Fibrosis.

im fine. everything with me is fine now. im depressed, and i have a lot to get through, but im not going to die. i have friends and family who love me, and im still alive. im a fairly healthy 18 year old girl. im getting ready to go to college. i have everything to look forward to in my life.

i realized today, that its not easy to get over certain things, but if you dont start looking at the brighter side of life, your life is going to pass you by before you even know it.

sorry if it seems like im preaching. im not trying to. i just wanted to tell people what i realized, and this seemed like as good a place as any. im not saying that no one has the right to be depressed, because hell, im still fairly bad off.. i just figure its a place to start..

thanks for listening.
priscilla
Hi NKY . I have just read your email and thought i would write to you to say that you are not on your own.
I was diagnosed with MRKH syndrome at 16 and i still try to live with it even 12 years later. I am hoping to have the proper help now as i had no proper support then but hopefully things are on the mend.
I have been married for 7 years so there is always someone out there as when i found out the first thing i thought off was who would want me but i have a wonderful husband who has excepted me for who i am.

I know how you feel when you are told as if feels like your whole life has crashed down on you and i felt abnormal at the time but with support of family and friends you can feel better. But it is always there at the back of your mind even for me now it sometimes hurts. I have been on Antidepressants since i found out and it is nothing to be ashamed off.

Please feel free to ask me any questions as i would like to help you in anyway and hope we can be support for each other



Take care
Regard Priscilla
Mata
The thread is two years old, but Insaneperc might still have post notifications on the thread, so they might read this but don't be offended if you don't get a reply! Thanks for offering your support.
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