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Glimpse
If someone in a moment of pure and blind stupidity did an almost unspeakably horrible thing. Betraying the trust of friends and playing to there worst fears.


Could they ever be truly forgiven?

Or are they to be left with there deserved guilt, alone forever?
depressed lonely crazy person
QUOTE
Or are they to be left with there deserved guilt, alone forever?


The way my old friends saw it yes. But it is very harsh inmost situations and would you really want to send your friend as close to suicidal as I was for 6 months after my friends left me?
Mata
I think it very much depends on the situation. If it is in physical life and they are a person that you see regularly then forgiveness is one of those things that is necessary to continue a reasonably happy life. If it is with friends online then I think it's unlikely that people can ever fully regain trust. The web is wide enough that people who have annyoed others can go and find new groups, equally the people who have been offended have a large range of other people who haven't betrayed them to be socialable with so it's unlikely that a previously intensely disruptive would ever be welcomed back.

The web isn't like physical life where you have to get on with people. It's very easy to be annoyed by someone and if you wish you can never talk to them again. It's one of the good things (arguably a negative thing when used without patience) about the web, that you don't have to compromise your feelings when you have felt truly betrayed by someone. So, like I say, I think it depends on the context.
little_bear
I'd like to think it's possible to forgive someone for practically everything. It would really depend on what had 'occured'. There are certain things for which forgiveness is hard, if not impossible (for me, at least), like, oh I dunno ... adultery or forgiving someone who was responsible for the death of a loved one.
artist.unknown
It's difficult when you feel like the person deserves to reap what they sowed. But forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean you need to get all chummy again. You can forgive from a distance. Letting someone know that you're not stewing with bitterness is healing on both sides. It doesn't mean you even need to talk to them again, or even trust them. It's possible to remove yourself from the lives of people who have hurt you without being vengeful, or even simply unpleasant to them. It's an emotional strain to nurse a grudge. Just move on with your life.

EDIT: Darn compy double posted. Sorry bout that.
eleraama
Well, I think it's really up to you. I, for example, will forgive anyone just about anything. You really need to look inside and see if forgiving them will make you happy. Or if not happy, at least better off.

But as to your phrasing of 'deserved guilt'-- I don't think that guilt is ever undeserved.
PsychWardMike
Hmm... I dunno. It really all depends on the situation, the action, all that jazz. I tend to try to forgive and forget, but it's often more of a case of forgive but never forget. I'm with AU - forgiveness often helps and heals but does not necessitate the inclussion of the offending party in daily life. But in the end, you gotta do what you feel is right.

Good luck.
Glimpse
QUOTE (Mata @ Jul 1 2005, 10:59 PM)
If it is with friends online then I think it's unlikely that people can ever fully regain trust. The web is wide enough that people who have annyoed others can go and find new groups, equally the people who have been offended have a large range of other people who haven't betrayed them to be socialable with so it's unlikely that a previously intensely disruptive would ever be welcomed back.

The web isn't like physical life where you have to get on with people. It's very easy to be annoyed by someone and if you wish you can never talk to them again. It's one of the good things (arguably a negative thing when used without patience) about the web, that you don't have to compromise your feelings when you have felt truly betrayed by someone.
*


Ok

I'll get my coat
Astarael
Hope that everything's worked out with the person who betrayed you. We're here if you want to talk about some more. smile.gif
Ashbless
How do you feel you were betrayed? Was it here on Matazone?
spuglet
I think it depends how you see forgiveness. People can move on, get over things and even be friends again. But to forget is to not learn anything, and I don't think people can ever look at the other person in the same way again, and if you look at them differently and cannot learn to trust them again, are they forgiven?

I know I find it very hard to forgive people, because when I have tried to in the past they just hurt me again.

Do I think it is possible to totally forgive people? Yes. But it takes a better person then me to do it.
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