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tv with legs
atlast the moans and groans gone
i am now enternally grateful
my demons vanquished, the fires withered
i gaze around, checking for reality
i soon relize, truth be told,
my fears come alive, for the image
that tore my soul apart,
is now burning on my palms.

can yall tell me what you think of my poem
little_bear
It's ... um ... very firey.

_
tv with legs
i dont think yall understand it
Apollyon
enternally...
is that eternally or internally?

And on another note... you are correct. I don't believe I understand it. Whether that is because I just can't possibly understand it or because it makes no sense and is complete gibberish that sounds rather deep, i don't know.

Take another look at the poem and rework it, try to have it make more sense to a common observer. Make them feel what you feel, don't just keep your poem classified for one elite group.
PsychWardMike
It's rather blunt, don'ot you think? Still like too much other teen angst poetry. Most of my comments apply from the other topic appl, but I think I need to say this. Blood and darkness are no longer poetic. Period. Find a new way to express it. Try some symbolism. It makes it an infinitely deeper read.

Note, that wasn't going to tv with legs specifically but to all peoples who might read my post.
tv with legs
QUOTE (Apollyon @ Jul 11 2005, 09:40 PM)
enternally...
is that eternally or internally?

And on another note... you are correct.  I don't believe I understand it.  Whether that is because I just can't possibly understand it or because it makes no sense and is complete gibberish that sounds rather deep, i don't know.

Take another look at the poem and rework it, try to have it make more sense to a common observer.  Make them feel what you feel, don't just keep your poem classified for one elite group.
*

its about being possessed by a demom. when i showed my friends this poem, they didnt get till i telled them whats it about.
PsychWardMike
Erm... I'm a bit confused about Apollyon's initial question as well. Please answer? Also agree with the sentiment of tappable depth.
tv with legs
its eternally, sorry bout that. smile.gif
PsychWardMike
Ah. Thank you.
torn love notes
The Poe expresses a gift for writing.
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