Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: Grammer Nazis, critics, and sceptics...
The Other Side forums - suitable for mature readers! > The Other Side forums > Daft
Pages: 1, 2
Quoth(The Raven)
Okay, here it is... the thread for bitching about how society is being dumbed down. Some examples:

1. A sign in the parking lot of a local grocery store: "Food Lion, Inc. cannot be responsible for damage caused by loose shopping carts".

Bullsh*t! They COULD be responsible, if they wanted to. What they mean is they WON't be responsible...

2. "I just saved a Bunch of Money, by switching to Geico..."

Urgh. Money does not come in bunches. Bannanas come in Bunches, Cocoanuts come in bunches, even shorts come in Bunches... But money does not... repeat, NOT come in bunches!
silvermoon
A calendar my mom got for a class she's taking had this lovely sentence:

(Talking about people in a contest) "Hot on there heals is..."

My brain wanted to explode. Instead, I just had to correct all the spelling and grammar mistakes I found. It was saddening...
Quoth(The Raven)
"It's the soup that eats like a meal..."

Neither Soups nor Meals eat... WE eat THEM...
kisah
Need I say more?
SPEAKERfortheLOST
A person that i don't know came up to me one day and said that I wasn't normal and that GOD would help me with that problem.

I responded in kind with: "OK. Define normal. Define this problem you speak of. Now do you fit those descriptions all the time? Is it possible that I'm completely normal while you aren't? Sir, it's time to wake up and smell the perception." I then walked away and felt really good.

If you were in my shoes then, what would you have done?
Ashbless
One sign I read still makes me giggle. biggrin.gif

Please take advantage of our chambermaids.
little_bear
QUOTE (kisah @ Aug 20 2005, 02:26 PM)

I'd rag her.
silvermoon
QUOTE (SPEAKERfortheLOST @ Aug 20 2005, 08:41 AM)
A person that i don't know came up to me one day and said that I wasn't normal and that GOD would help me with that problem.

I responded in kind with: "OK. Define normal. Define this problem you speak of.  Now do you fit those descriptions all the time? Is it possible that I'm completely normal while you aren't? Sir, it's time to wake up and smell the perception." I then walked away and felt really good.

If you were in my shoes then, what would you have done?
*

Good way to handle it, I must say. I personally avoid those people when I can, as they don't seem very open to reason. I can't say that's happened much to me, though.
Quoth(The Raven)
Seen on a weight watcher's commercial: "...It works THAT good..."

argh!. Things don't work good. Sometimes, they work WELL, but they never work good...
silvermoon
*sigh* All the time, I hear about how something went "good". It seems like hardly anybody these days realises that the adverb form is "well", not "good". Drives me crazy, it does. *walks off muttering*
voices_in_my_head
QUOTE (silvermoon @ Aug 20 2005, 07:50 PM)
QUOTE (SPEAKERfortheLOST @ Aug 20 2005, 08:41 AM)
A person that i don't know came up to me one day and said that I wasn't normal and that GOD would help me with that problem.

I responded in kind with: "OK. Define normal. Define this problem you speak of.  Now do you fit those descriptions all the time? Is it possible that I'm completely normal while you aren't? Sir, it's time to wake up and smell the perception." I then walked away and felt really good.

If you were in my shoes then, what would you have done?
*

Good way to handle it, I must say. I personally avoid those people when I can, as they don't seem very open to reason. I can't say that's happened much to me, though.
*


I tend to give them long, rambling lectures that start out about them and usally ends up with something completly irelevent like penguins or how I couldn't find my shoes that morning.

There's just one thing that really bothers me: Will people please, please stop saying "Git 'er done" every chance they get?
Quoth(The Raven)
*Sigh* I guess it's understandable that the English language is getting abused so much In America... after all, we have a president who thinks "See Dick Run" is classic Literature, and can't pronounce the word "Nuclear" to save his life...
silvermoon
They just don't teach grammar anymore. I've been in honors English for years, and I have yet to have had a class where they go beyond nouns, verbs, and adjectives. Usually, they don't bother teaching even that. No wonder Americans don't know their grammar.
Quoth(The Raven)
QUOTE (silvermoon @ Aug 20 2005, 08:11 PM)
They just don't teach grammar anymore. I've been in honors English for years, and I have yet to have had a class where they go beyond nouns, verbs, and adjectives. Usually, they don't bother teaching even that. No wonder Americans don't know their grammar.
*


Hey, I never had any use for grammer, in school... much too boring... everything I know, I picked up from my reading, which, If I do say so myself, is extensive...
Quoth(The Raven)
Idea for a new gameshow... We'll call it "Shock the monkey". Each episode, annoying celebrities will receive shocks for being annoying. Episode one: President Bush will receive electric shocks each time he mispronounces the word "Nuclear". Episode Two: Snoop Dogg will receive an electrical shock every time he murders a word, by adding an "Izzle" to it. Episode Three: Chef Emeril will be shocked everytime he yells "Bam!". Episode four": Donald Trump will be electricuted, not only for saying, "You're fired!", but on general principles...
silvermoon
QUOTE
Hey, I never had any use for grammer, in school... much too boring... everything I know, I picked up from my reading, which, If I do say so myself, is extensive...

That obviously worked for you, and I learned my grammar and vocabulary much the same way, but unfortunately, not very many people my age read at all. They'd rather spend their time playing games or just chatting online. Not that there is anything wrong with that, of course, but the text-speak that many people use is indecipherable. It certainly doesn't encourage good English.
Quoth(The Raven)
oh, and as an added feature on "Shock the monkey", we could feature mock trials and on air executions for those who routinely mangle the language in extrodinary ways...

1. the Ad executive who first said, "Just do it!" Draw and quarter him. Please.
2. "A sandwich is a sandwich, but a manwhich is a meal" stuff his shorts with chum, and drop him in a shark tank...
3. "You deserve a break today..." Break him. In half.
silvermoon
QUOTE (Quoth(The Raven) @ Aug 20 2005, 08:43 PM)
oh, and as an added feature on "Shock the monkey", we could feature mock trials and on air executions for those who routinely mangle the language in extrodinary ways...

1. the Ad executive who first said, "Just do it!"  Draw and quarter him.  Please.
2. "A sandwich is a sandwich, but a manwhich is a meal" stuff his shorts with chum, and drop him in a shark tank...
3. "You deserve a break today..." Break him.  In half.
*

Sounds like great fun! People like that just encourage others to misuse the language, which is the last thing anyone needs. Oh, and may I also suggest that crazy frog thing? I know it's not really dealing with language, but it keeps playing on the radio and it drives me crazy!
Quoth(The Raven)
More irritations from Advertisements:

1: "I'm lovin' it!"
I'm sick of it.
2: "A sale so good you can't miss it..."
I can't miss it, Physically, or I won't miss it if I don't attend?
3: "don't miss it!"
I will if I want to, Damnit!
silvermoon
I find advertisements annoying in general. I want to watch a half hour show, not 20 minutes of show and 10 minutes of commercials! Nowadays, I just don't watch television.
voices_in_my_head
QUOTE (silvermoon @ Aug 20 2005, 08:11 PM)
They just don't teach grammar anymore. I've been in honors English for years, and I have yet to have had a class where they go beyond nouns, verbs, and adjectives. Usually, they don't bother teaching even that. No wonder Americans don't know their grammar.
*

Grammer is pretty much the only thing we do learn in english class in the first few weeks.


Quoth, How do you pronounce nuclear, anyway?
Quoth(The Raven)
QUOTE (voices_in_my_head @ Aug 20 2005, 10:32 PM)
QUOTE (silvermoon @ Aug 20 2005, 08:11 PM)
They just don't teach grammar anymore. I've been in honors English for years, and I have yet to have had a class where they go beyond nouns, verbs, and adjectives. Usually, they don't bother teaching even that. No wonder Americans don't know their grammar.
*

Grammer is pretty much the only thing we do learn in english class in the first few weeks.


Quoth, How do you pronounce nuclear, anyway?
*



Nuclear = New. Klee. Are. Pretty much as advertised...

Bush pronounces it New. cue. Ler. Blast him!
voices_in_my_head
QUOTE (Quoth(The Raven) @ Aug 20 2005, 11:55 PM)
Nuclear = New. Klee. Are.  Pretty much as advertised...

Bush pronounces it New. cue. Ler.  Blast him!
*

Crap.... that's how I say it... Can I blame it on the accent? biggrin.gif
JimiJimi
I know many people who pronounce it 'New Killer'.

Although one of these people also says 'trangle' instead of triangle. It's always fun to get him to tell us what shape an arrowhead is. 'Trangiller'.

I get a laugh out of seeing huge promotional posters and billboards, which must have been checked by at least a small team of people, in some cases, perhaps hundreds of employees, yet they still have apostrophes in the wrong places, such as 'your'e', 'your's', 'theyr'e', 'their's' etc.

Also I heard there's a show on MTV called Trippin'.
Astarael
I hate people who misuse apostrphes. "Selling CD Player's" is an atrocious misuse of a perfectly good punctuation mark. The good/well issue bothers me a lot, as does spelling "a lot" "alot". It's not a word, foolish mortals.
Another thing that truly annoys me is the phrase "in-depth news." In how much depth will the news be covered? How does one measure the depth of news anyway?
Yet another pet peeve: "heart-rendering." Rendering is what one does with animal fat. "Heart-rending" is the correct phrase when you mean emotionally appealing and meant to invoke pity and sorrw.
My favorite book about the mangling of English and punctuation is "Eats, Shoots, and Leaves" by Lynne Truss. It's a very funny and informative book. You should all read it. It contains most of my punctuation-related pet peeves.
silvermoon
QUOTE
My favorite book about the mangling of English and punctuation is "Eats, Shoots, and Leaves" by Lynne Truss. It's a very funny and informative book. You should all read it. It contains most of my punctuation-related pet peeves.

Ah, that's a good book. I have it. It's really interesting, especially considering it's about puncutuation.

The good/well thing really bothers me. Do people just not know that one's an adverb? It doesn't even make sense when you think about it! Most people doing something don't do it "good", unless they're one of the few who are being helpful in some way, and those people are rare enough anyway. But I'm rambling now, so I'll stop. I'm likely preaching to the choir anyway.
Quoth(The Raven)
QUOTE (voices_in_my_head @ Aug 21 2005, 08:28 AM)
QUOTE (Quoth(The Raven) @ Aug 20 2005, 11:55 PM)
Nuclear = New. Klee. Are.  Pretty much as advertised...

Bush pronounces it New. cue. Ler.  Blast him!
*

Crap.... that's how I say it... Can I blame it on the accent? biggrin.gif
*



Hmmm. Bush IS a Texan, isn't he? At least part time, anyway...

Dang it. Now I'm torn... Should "New Cue Ler" be tolerated, as a regionalism, or should I continue to hold high the flag of linguistic purity? Hmmmm.
symphony
It really grates on my nerves when a teacher says something twice:

Mr.T : Now what are your goals for this class? To have fun? To get and A? To Play a solo? To have Fun? To...(etc).

Would it be a bad thing if I smacked him in the face with a violin case? (hey...that rhymed. Whadda know?)
Usurper MrTeapot
Don't hit me. I don't know you. Don't hit me.
JimiJimi
QUOTE (symphony @ Aug 22 2005, 05:53 PM)

Mr.T : Now what are your goals for this class? To have fun? To get and A? To Play a solo? To have Fun? To...(etc). 

Would it be a bad thing if I smacked him in the face with a violin case? (hey...that rhymed. Whadda know?)

*

Don't go smackin' noone with no violin cases, foo'!

I can actually imagine Mr T saying that. What with all the 'setting a good example' thing. And people listened, this was Mr T!
Ashbless
Another advertising irritant:

Canadian Tire's slogan: "I'll start with you."

It's very similar to the slang for picking a fight. To start something with someone is to attempt to get them irritated enough to hit you. Does Canadian Tire really wish to pick fights with it's customers?
I always find myself thinking: "Don't you start with me, you jerk." tongue.gif
Quoth(The Raven)
An oldie, but a goodie...

"Winston tastes good, like a cigarette should..."

argh! AS! AS! not like!

"Waddaya want? good grammer, or good taste..."

Well, it's not PROPER grammer, and it's definetly NOT in good taste...
symphony
QUOTE (MrTeapot @ Aug 22 2005, 10:57 AM)
Don't hit me. I don't know you. Don't hit me.
*


I didn't mean you. I ment my orchestra teacher. His name is Mr. Thelander. We call him Mr. T for short. O_o?
Quoth(The Raven)
"Massive Stroke"

Since a stroke is essentially something non-physical... How can it be Massive?
Quoth(The Raven)
There is a Pepto Bismal commercial where people are excstatic about Pepto Bismal now coming in Cherry flavor... If you're using the stuff often enough that flavor is an issue for you, then you need to go to a hospital, quick!

The same thing for the pain releiver commercial where a woman admits to getting headaches nearly every day... you don't need aspirin, lady... you need a neuroligist!
Daria
SARS stands for Severe Accute Respiratory Syndrome.

Severe and accute mean the same thing.

Why not just call it ARS?
Or ARSE even- Accute Respiratory Syndrome Epidemic?

I hate it when people get grammar wrong. Spelling (in advertising) too.

But something which annoyed me so much to the point of me about to write a letter is this written on a young girls note book, being sold in a Woolworths shop-

"If you can't look interested, look pretty".

Does anyone else see how wrong that is?
Quoth(The Raven)
Has anyone ever thought that the word 'Ultimate' really has no meaning? It means 'at the end' or 'the best'... But how many things, given the scope of time, can be the best of all time? Or the last, of all time? Perhaps there are a few things, but not many. And yet, we keep using the bloody word as if it meant, 'the best we've ever encountered', which isn't the same thing. Or, we use it as mere hyperbole, with no proof...
Quoth(The Raven)
From a Hardees restaurant commercial:

Man: SOme people have a sweet tooth... I have a Ranch tooth...
Disembodied tooth: Ranch! Ranch. Ranch? Ranch... (And on, and on, and on...)

I always feel like chanting alongside that stupid tooth, to wit:

Tooth: Ranch, Ranch, Ranch, Ranch...
Me: Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb...

I hate this friggin' Commercial! Someone, get me a baseball bat and a map to the writer's home, please! This person deserves to die! No jury in the world would convict me, after being forced to sit through his commercial! Aggggh!
eleraama
The other day, at school, I saw this sign:

Want to be and ESL tutor? Sign up in Room 121!


I wanted to gouge out my eyes.
Quoth(The Raven)
I have to admit, though, that there was one commercial, recently, that made me laugh... It was about a restaurant serving Angus beef hamburgers. So good, apparently, they make you want to sit down, and savor every bite. I found this line to be irresistable:

Presenter: I'm full of sit, you're full of sit, everyone is full of sit...

I just about fell out of my chair... laugh.gif
Quoth(The Raven)
A friend of the family, who was born and raised in Spain, but is now a U.S. Citizen, once spotted an Ad placed in the local newspaper, by a Spanish teacher at the local high school. It seems that he wanted to start a night course, to teach Spanish to Adult English speakers. However, not only did he place the ad in SPANISH, but the Syntax was so garbled, that our friend, whose first language is Spanish (And who is fluent in English) could barely make out what he was trying to say!

*Sigh*
Mittens322
In my copy of Harry Potter 1 it reads: Harry tore himself away from (person on wizard card), who was picking her nose to open a bag of beans.
^
artist.unknown
Oooh. This subject makes my eye twitch.

My latest pet peeve is when I notice an establishment that has decided it is too rich and clever for the apostophe. Michaels Crafts, for example. Unless there are lots and lots of little Michaels running amock in the place, I don't see why they feel the need to skimp on the little neon apostrophe. Karens Kurtains. Now we are also qualified to change spellings as we see fit? And on and on. Why??? Why do people hate possessives so? You'd think that Americans, of all people, would be damned possessive. But nooo. Arghh.

My favorite sign was Doctors Park. As my parental said: "If they don't know where to put their apostophe, how am I supposed to trust them with my colon?"
Quoth(The Raven)
"Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee..."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
G!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pgrmdave
QUOTE
My favorite sign was Doctors Park. As my parental said: "If they don't know where to put their apostophe, how am I supposed to trust them with my colon?"


You must have read it wrong, it's simply a declaritive sentance tongue.gif
trunks_girl26
QUOTE (Quoth(The Raven) @ Sep 10 2005, 08:58 AM)
"Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee..."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
G!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*


I always thought it was "Nobody does it like Sarah Lee" But I've been known to have "interesting" hearing >_>
Misty Rain
[


Quoth, How do you pronounce nuclear, anyway?
*

[/quote]

Oh come on.
If you went to school when you were 10 you should not have to ask that.
Just because shrub does not speak English that does not mean you have to ask stupid questions.

Misty Rain
artist.unknown
"Eatin' good in the neighborhood" Grr! So that's where all the good in the world went! Those bumbuckets ate it all!
Quoth(The Raven)
"...He's much more unique than the other guy..."

This is an excerpt from the opening theme of a cartoon, 'Danny Phantom".

Unique means 'one of a kind'. you can't be 'more unique'. And, as for 'much more unique'... Stop it! it hurts! It hurts so bad! tongue.gif

and, heaven spare me from people who don't know what UFO means... I swear, everytime they interview a witness of a sighting, the idiot says he doesn't beleive in UFOs... after admitting that he's seen a light in the sky, or somewhat...

U.F.O. = UNidentified Flying object. If you see it, it's flying, and you don't know what it is... It's a UFO, Damnit!

What they mean is that they don't beleive in Space Aliens in Flying saucers... but it's not the same thing!

get it right, people!

grrr! laugh.gif
Pikasyuu
I agree that the media's misuse of spelling and grammar is rather disheartening. I also don't like commercials that encourage text speak - such as the crunch commercial that says, Y B Plain? I wonder, Y not just spell it out?

Also, err.. *wince* Going in line with spelling and grammar, grammar's got an 'a' second to last instead of an 'e', and sceptics is spelled 'skeptics'. Thought you'd appreciate that. happy.gif

'Nuclear' is an awful word that people mispronounce all the time as well. I understand your beef with that one.
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.