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The Other Side forums - suitable for mature readers! > The Other Side forums > Personal concerns
Hope and (assuming you are religious) pray. Tell her never to lose hope.
I'm so sorry for both of you. Just try to be there for her when she's feeling down because of the treatments. Try not to lose hope. They're finding new cancer treatments all the time, and one of them could help her. Stay with her when she needs you, but get a little time for yourself to let off emotions and talk with a friend. Keep hoping for your mother and love her.
I'm not exactly knowledgeable on the subject. Ergo, I can't offer much advice. However, I would reccomend be with her as much as possible while you have the chance, try, both of you, to be as happy as you can be under the circumstances, and never lose hope. As it has been said, "It's not over until the fat lady sings." While it is certainly not the norm, people have recovered from cancer. Also, as Astarael said, they are always finding new cancer treatments, and I believe that, one day, they'll find an outright cure for cancer. Though unlikely, it's wholly possible that such a thing may happen tomorrow. You and your mother both have the best wishes I can give. I hope everything turns out all right for y'all.
funky fairy
My daughter died of a brain tumour. She had a bumpy ride, but all the kids in the hospital with leukaemia (blood) survived, it is probably one of the most researched cancers there is. A lot of people survive this, it will be a bumpy ride but I'm sure she will be fine.

I will pray for her.
I can't offer any helpful advice, but don't loose hope. You both are always in my preys. Hope everything turns out all right.

P.s There is always some one around if you just need a chat.
my aunt died from the same thing last year. treasure your moments with her. stick together with your family. they can help you get through it. its not easy and im not going to lie and say it is, or say that she will magically get better (though i hope there is a way.) if your from the US you can do the relay for life, which raises money for cancer research. it helps to be there and meet other people in the same situation as you.

my brother has gotten really involved with it since everything last year, and it really helps. also keep in mind that she loves you and life does go on without her, and though it will never be the same, you can be happy again, and she wants you to be happy.
My father has very recently been going through treatment for skin cancer which had transferred into the lymphatic system. He was lucky and the surgeons managed to cut it all out but he is now having problems with infections after the surgery due to complications from the bits they removed.

I have a friend whose father was given around six months to live. In that time they put him on a trial for an untested drug which resulted in an incredible turnaround in his condition. Now, after some fairly extensive surgery, he is expected to make a full recovery. The last I heard he's gone hiking!

My point is the same as that made by other people, cancer is not always terminal; however life always is eventually so cherish the time that you have. The jury is out on what, if anything, happens next, so make the most of the time that you certainly have left here.

I guess there are two questions for you:

When you say 'dying', is this a 'unless a new treatment arrives she doesn't have long' situation, or is it that she has cancer and you are scared (which is perfectly understandable)?

When you ask for help, what sort of thing are you looking for? My forums have a lot of good people on them, including (as this thread has already shown) people who have experience of relatives with cancer. We can provide a friendly place to vent, or try and help you find a support group local to you, or even tell you rubbish jokes to try and cheer you up if that's what you want. Let us know if there's anything specific. For the moment though I hope it helps to know that others have been there with good and bad results. *hugs*
Treasure as many moments with your Mum as possible.
Let her know that you have always cared about her deeply.
Never loose hope.
Keep remembering all the good times you shared, try to remine as positive as possible, not just for your Mum's sake but for your own aswell.
Remember it IS O.K to cry, to let the pain.

I understand what you are going though, My Mum has cervical cancer and without treatment she will die, of course, she is having treatment (waiting for an op.)

The coping methods above are what I use and they help me enough to get by with daily life.

It is also so important for your Mum to remain as positive as possible.

If you need to vent then just P.M me or send me an e-mail at
And I will support you.

Best wishes.
Take care.
This is a difficult time for anyone and I fully understand how your feeling after losing my mum to cancer 9 years ago.
The only advice I can give is don't give up hope, and don't let her give up hope either.
This is probably the hardest thing to do ever, but if you can remain positive somehow your mum will pick up on this and give her more strength to carry on.
It's true what others here have wrote about new drugs coming along for cancer all the time, I have heard too of some cases suddenly just going into remission and people carrying on in there lives for many more years (my brother in law being one of these people).
As I said show as much positive behaviour as you can towards her, I am sorry to hear you and your mum are going through these bad times, I wish you both well and if you need to talk about it at any time please feel free to PM at any time.
Stay together share thoughts and basicly just stick right next to her im sure she'll make it smile.gif
This must be such a horrible situation for you. Just let your mum know you love her, and make sure that she remembers that.
And do remember, there are cures out there. There are things that can help your mum. Assuming she's getting chemo, it could significantly help and cure the cancer. If not, there are always people, like volunteers from Cancer Research UK and the Macmillan nurses (assuming you live in the UK - if not there are always other charitable organisations) who can help ease your mum's pain during her time left. There are also organisations that can help you, and your family members - counsillors (sp?) for example. Or, if you want to talk to me, just send me a message via the board and I'll send you my email address.
Hope everything gets better for your mum. xkissesx and (hugs)
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