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The Other Side forums - suitable for mature readers! > The Other Side forums > Personal concerns
See, after i left New Orleans i came out to Calafornia all of my new friends are nothing like my dry.gif not one single fiber in or body or mind. But my main questians should they be my friends if they are mean to me should i just find new freinds or what ever. Im so bord help me. (some odamadapia i have not made up yet.)
Most of my friends are very dissimilar to me, but you find common ground, even if it's just stupid things like bitching about bands, watching movies and standing outside, smoking cigarettes and talking about all the things that get you down.

If you're new "friends" are mean to you, then you shouldn't waste your time on them. If y'all rib on each other for stupid things like having weird stretchmarks or an exgirlfriend you aren't proud of or how you're more into makeup than most chicks you know or something like that, then all is well. If this is not the case, to Hell with them; you don't need that bullshit (if you'll forgive the term). Go out and find new friends. I'm sure there are kids out there whose insanity is similar to yours.

There's this cat I know named Cody who didn't fit in at all when he moved here. He wore a trenchcoat, nu-metal band shirts, heavy boots and a lot of eyeliner (and in the manner he did it, people called him "Tragick's sidekick" even though he had no idea who Tragick was at the time). He hated his time here with everyone different from him until he met his friends Brian and Jamie and, eventually, me. Go back to 1999 and that was me. Trust me; it gets better.
I agree with Righteous, it just takes time. You wont always like the first people you meet. and maybe not even the second set of people you meet! Just dont bother wasting time on people you know you dont like and who just make you feel bad.

Just be your self and eventually, some way or another, you'll have some friends happy.gif
In many way my girlfriend and I are completely different, yet we've been dating over five and a half years and living together four over four. Somehow it just works.

I think Ri is spot one when he says that the main deciding factor is what you mean by 'mean'. There's fun teasing between mates and then there's bitter stuff. Sometimes people can think they're only teasing but what they say really hurts; us humans can be pretty insensitive sometimes and different people have tender spots that others don't always realise. If you think it might be that then try talking to them, maybe one-to-one, and ask them to lay off.

As Ri says, you will find the right people. I had a bad time where I live about six or seven years ago, I knew pretty much no-one here, my best friends all lived in other cities, and the people I did meet where often immature. Then I met a guy called Matthew, who, despite massively different backgrounds, seemed to have a very close worldview to me. He's definitely one of my closest friends these days (and he's on these forums too sometimes!). It took a huge amount of effort and trial and error before I finally found someone I could relate to. It wasn't easy, but it does happen in the end, you just have to stay strong and optimistic as possible.
In my new school, everyone is completely different from me, but I find that it's quite healthy. We have friendly arguements as a joke and laugh about our differences. We've just managed to adapt to eachother. After all, wouldn't life be boring if everyone were into the same things?

But if the people are actually mean to you in a nasty way, then I vote you shouldn't be friends with them.

I hope it all works out for you:)
Pfft, I'm pretty much a world apart from everyone I've ever met in person.

There's two ways I can look at that,
1) Woe is me, I need people that are like me to survive.

2) Yay, I bring something unique to the people I know's lives.

I go with option 2. I am pretty concious of my oddness and a lot of people I know are too. I think being odd is great, you always put forward opinions that people that aren't so odd never think of because they make it their life goal to try and syncronise with everyone else in the name of "being a part of something".

If I want the opinions or ideas from what most people come up with, I assault people with questions.. here on the boards, in person.. or whatever. In exchange they get opinions from me!

In my experience.. the further you drift form the norm (and by normal I mean the people of your current surroundings), the more valuable and rare a commodity you are.
You could kill them. Then you wouldn't have to worry about whether or not they're like you.

But seriously, don't try too hard to blend in with them, and find someone else who blends into YOU. Everyone moves on - maybe that's all you have to do. Find other friends. Or, tell your friends how you feel, and maybe they'll be able to help.
QUOTE (My;heart;bleeds @ Nov 1 2005, 08:05 PM)
You could kill them. Then you wouldn't have to worry about whether or not they're like you.

But seriously, don't try too hard to blend in with them, and find someone else who blends into YOU. Everyone moves on - maybe that's all you have to do. Find other friends. Or, tell your friends how you feel, and maybe they'll be able to help.

Or just kill them, it worked for me... ph34r.gif
How I'm dissimilar from most (not all) of my friends):

1. Family (my parents aren't divorced and my brother and I get along)
2. My sexuality (I have a handful of bi and gay friends and they're all women)
3. Music (I know very few people IRL who are into industrial and one or two into Mushroomhead as much as me)
4. Drug use (very few of my friends these days smoke pot)
5. My style (hair, makeup, clothing are all kinda out there)
6. Politics (I'm anti-socialistic)
7. Religion (I have few Christian friends)
8. Relationships (weird, even when compared to my friends)
9. Education (I graduated high school and am going to university)

It should also be noted, however, that not all of these apply to everyone I know and that I have a very diverse group of friends. I think that's the best way to go.
Silver Star Angel of Da Towers
I concur with Righteous. If your friends don't treat you right, they are not worth your time at all. Try taking a break from them and scouting out other friends.

Or even, sometimes it's better to be alone than to have toxic friends.
I find that sometimes being bored with friends is better than being bored alone. The question here is really whether or not these folks are your friends. If they are then it will extend beyond any similarities (or lack there of) between you; if not then there isn't much to do, but say "Sorry guys, it was nice to know you all, but your just not good friends." Well, maybe not quite so bluntly, but you get the basic idea.

The best friends are just the ones who will listen to you, or that you can listen to. It extends further than who we are, but to what we can learn from our friends. Then again, I don't really know much about the world yet, so aside from my attempt to be insightful, I just hope that one way or another you find someone to be bored with.

How many times have y'all have been in this situation:
"What do you wanna do?"
"I dunno. What do you wanna do?"
"I dunno dude. What do you wanna do?"
"Hey, Jay. What do you wanna do?"
"I dunno. What do y'all wanna do?"

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