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The Travis
QUOTE (LoLo @ Jan 17 2006, 09:09 PM)
Dear Travis,

Will you tell me a story about Batman?
*



Well if it was anyone else, I wouldn't. But since its you, you betcha!

I first met Batman in the summer of 2001. I was walking to the video store, when suddenly I heard strange noises coming from an alley. As I got closer I could hear things like ZIFF, POW, BOOF, PANG, BLAOW, and FUPE.

I turned the corner to find Batman beating up several rabid homeless men. I quickly jumped into the fray to help him. I distracted several of them with part of a ham sandwich while Batman tied their feet together using his Bat Dental Floss. Then I threw a garbage can on one of their heads and he comically said "Who turned out the lights?"

I answered "Justice did." Then I grabbed the lid to the garbage can and threw it at him. "Now put a lid on it."

Meanwhile Batman was being cornered by 3 of the homeless men and a cat. He pulled out his Bat Fire Extinguisher and sprayed the cat with it. "You're one cool cat, daddio." he said. Then grabbed the cat by its frozen tail and beat the three men senseless with it. "When it comes to being a vigilante, I'm no pu-"

"Help, Batman!" I cried. "Heeeeellllp!"

I was surrounded by 10 men, and it didn't look good for me. They were ready to attack when Batman ran them over with the Batmobile. He hopped out of the car and said "Looks like you should have looked both ways. But now you can't. Because you're dead."

Yeah, it was a day to remember. I rented Wayne's World.
Greeneyes
Dear Travis,

Why won't you join team OGS?

Love, Greeneyes
The Travis
Joining Team OGS is like punching a kitten in the face. Like punting an infant down a well. Like beating up the handicapped. Like robbing from the poor. Like enjoying Bill Paxton in a movie. Like drowning puppies.

Its wrong and I refuse to do it. Good day!
Daria
Dear Travis- where did your marvellous hat come from?
Astarael
Dear Travis,
What the sod is Team OGS?
~Ast
LoLo
Dear Travis,

I really enjoyed that story about Batman, now will you tell a follow up one that includes the Joker?
Novander
Dear Travis

Can you handle four questions at a time?

- Nov.
little_bear
Dear Travis,

Why does it always rain on me? Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?

Yours,

little_bear

*dodges rotton fruit*
The Travis
QUOTE (Daria @ Jan 18 2006, 03:16 PM)
Dear Travis- where did your marvellous hat come from?
*


This is actually a true story. About 3 years ago I worked for my best friend's dad on his farm. Now you have to realize that I'm not a big guy. I weigh about 135 pounds on a good day, and I'm built like a computer geek. But I worked my magnificent buns off for him. One day I was carrying a large piece of machinery and he said "You better be carefull or you'll get a prolapse." I asked him what a prolapse was and he told me its basically when you strain too hard and your butthole blows out. Its not a pretty thing. Anyway, from then on he started calling me Prolapse The Cowboy Monkey and the nickname stuck.

Then one day I got bored and googled for "cowboy monkey" for an avatar. This picture was on there and I fell in love with it. Its not just the hat though, its the way they guy wearing the hat looks like he's yelling "I WIN!" It's me. It's so me. So I guess the answer to your question is TEH INTRAWEBNET!


QUOTE (Astarael @ Jan 18 2006, 03:49 PM)
Dear Travis,
What the sod is Team OGS?
~Ast
*


OGS stands for Old Gay Sex. In IRC one day we were talking about gross pictures online like goatse and tubgirl. I linked lemonparty, and no one thought it was as gross as I do. The picture is of 3 old men, engaging in acts that no old men should engage in.

They like to taunt me with it now. Because they are EVIL.


QUOTE (LoLo @ Jan 18 2006, 09:48 PM)
Dear Travis,

I really enjoyed that story about Batman, now will you tell a follow up one that includes the Joker?
*


Of course my dear.

Shortly after our fight with the rabid homeless men, I met Batman again. This time at the local grocery store. He was in the fruit section getting some apples when I walked up to him.

Trav- "Hey Batman, how you doin' man?"

Batman- "Your mother."

Trav- "Yeah I ... wait what?"

Batman- "I'm Batman."

Trav- "True that. Listen, I was wondering if maybe I could be your partner in anti-crime."

Batman- "Do you own any tights?"

Trav- "No."

Batman- "You're hired."

Just then we heard an explosion in aisle 6 and rushed to the scene. It was none other than the Joker. Absolutely none other. It was completely him and no one else.

Joker- "Shopping for candy, FATman? HAHAHAhahaha."

Trav- "Obesity is no joke, um, Joker."

Batman- "He may be right Joker. I'm not sure. I stopped listening after you called me fat."

Joker- "Heheheh. Knock knock."

Batman and I- "Who's there?"

Joker- "Urine."

Trav- "You know, jokes about pee aren't funny either."

Joker- "You're dumb."

Trav- "No, you are the one who is the dumb one."

Joker- "Wrong. It is indeed you, who-"

That's when Batman (who had been sneaking around this whole time (sneaking like you wouldn't even believe)) jammed a mop bucket on Joker's head.

Joker- "Who turned out the lights?"

Batman and I then connected with a series of BIFFs and ZOWs to the Joker's gut. Batman finished him off by tripping him with the mop and saying "Clean up... hmm I'm not sure where to go with this one. I could say 'Clean up, aisle six' or 'Clean up your act, Joker'. Hmmm tough call."

When the cops got there Batman still hadn't decided so I picked the first one. All in all, I think it was the right thing to do.


QUOTE (Novander @ Jan 18 2006, 09:52 PM)
Dear Travis

Can you handle four questions at a time?

  - Nov.
*


Not just yes but hells yes.

Hells yes my friend.
The Travis
QUOTE (little_bear @ Jan 19 2006, 02:25 AM)
Dear Travis,

Why does it always rain on me? Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?

Yours,

little_bear

*dodges rotton fruit*
*


Yes it is.

BOOOOO
BOOOOOOOO
hissssssss
BOOOOO hissss booooooo
snooodlysnoosnoosnoodle
Dearest Travis,

What are you up to next weekend, I have a 4 day weekend and I'm in desperate need of some huggage.

yours with open arms,
snoo
The Travis
Dearest Snoo-

Next weekend I will be here waiting for you. I will be prepared to hug nonstop for long periods of time. C'mere my Snoo.

<3 <3,
Trav
snooodlysnoosnoosnoodle
Why are you on the forum but not on IRC?

*feels dejected*
The Travis
Snoo-

*HUGS*

I rarely close my browser, and when my browser is open, I'm on the forums. But I'm not actually there. It's like something about one hand clapping and a tree falling in the woods. The point is... I sorry...

*MORE HUGS*
Astarael
Dear Travis-
What is the sound of one hand clapping in a forest where no-one is around to hear it?
~Ast
The Travis
Oddly enough its sounds just like a '73 Mustang firing up. How do I know? Tell you what, why don't you try and prove me wrong. I dare ya.
Daria
Dear Travis

Where exactly IS Planet Claire?

Yours,
The Big Red Candle Society
Phyllis
Dearest Travis,

This kung pao tofu is the bestest tofu I have ever tasted...I must know how it was done! Will you sneak into my local Chinese restaurant and steal their recipe for me?

Love and hugs,
Cand
Astarael
Dear Travis-
If you were a ninja, what color of stealth clothing would you wear?
~Ast
The Travis
QUOTE (Daria @ Jan 24 2006, 01:45 PM)
Dear Travis

Where exactly IS Planet Claire?

Yours,
The Big Red Candle Society
*


Diggity Daria-

I was going to explain it to you, but I thought you'd like a map instead-

Linked for largeness

Sincerely,
Travis the compulsive candle eater

QUOTE (candice @ Jan 24 2006, 02:14 PM)
Dearest Travis,

This kung pao tofu is the bestest tofu I have ever tasted...I must know how it was done!  Will you sneak into my local Chinese restaurant and steal their recipe for me?

Love and hugs,
Cand
*


Cand,
As much as I would love to be able to help you, I simply cannot. If I were to do that for you, you would cook it all the time. Then one day you'd get sick from it, and never want to eat it again. You'd become enraged by this and turn into the Hulk. You would stomp down town picking up cars and tossing them like some sort of car shaped frisbee. You'd kill hundreds maybe thousands, and you'd step on a kitten, accidentally of course. And that is just something I can't live with.

I'm sorry.

QUOTE (Astarael @ Jan 24 2006, 04:19 PM)
Dear Travis-
If you were a ninja, what color of stealth clothing would you wear?
~Ast
*


Ast-
If I were a ninja, I would wear bright neon orange clothing. That way, when I surprised my enemies not only would they feel pain, but they'd feel stupid for not seeing me. I'd be all like "Oh man. How could you not see me? I'm wearing bright neon orange! You must be a big fat stupid!" Then I'd kick them through a wall. Yeah, that'd totally rule.
Astarael
Dear Travis-
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, how many peppers could Peter Piper pick? Who is Peter Piper? Why does he want to pick a peck of pickled peppers? For that matter, don't you pickle your peppers after you pick them?
~Ast
Novander
Dear Travis

What question do you not wish to be asked?

- Nov.
The Travis
QUOTE (Novander @ Jan 26 2006, 08:01 PM)
Dear Travis

What question do you not wish to be asked?

  - Nov.
*

Dear Nov,

I'm glad you asked. The answer is this one-

QUOTE (Astarael @ Jan 26 2006, 08:01 PM)
Dear Travis-
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, how many peppers could Peter Piper pick? Who is Peter Piper? Why does he want to pick a peck of pickled peppers? For that matter, don't you pickle your peppers after you pick them?
~Ast
*


/me shakes fist
LoLo
Dear Travis,

If you were turned into a vampire who is the first person you would turn into a vampire and why?

-Lo
Astarael
Dear Travis-
Do you know the Muffin Man?
~Ast
The Travis
QUOTE (LoLo @ Jan 27 2006, 09:50 AM)
Dear Travis,

If you were turned into a vampire who is the first person you would turn into a vampire and why?

-Lo
*


The first person I would turn would probably be John Cleese. Why? Because he's quite possibly the funniest man alive. Plus because it'd be awesome. He'd be all like "I'm going to suck your blood... but first allow me to do some silly walks." Then he'd walk around all silly like. I mean, if you're going to die, you might as well get a good last laugh.

QUOTE (Astarael @ Jan 28 2006, 06:04 PM)
Dear Travis-
Do you know the Muffin Man?
~Ast
*


Know him? He owes me thirty bucks. Now he's avoiding me like a glass of spoiled milk. Every time I knock on his gingerbread door, I hear him inside, but he never answers. He can't avoid me forever though. We both live on Drury Lane.
snooodlysnoosnoosnoodle
My Darling Travis,
I have dial up. I got it about 10 mins ago. It's even slower than I remember it being... will you kick it in the backside for me?

<3 snoo
The Travis
QUOTE (snoo @ Jan 29 2006, 06:38 AM)
My Darling Travis,
I have dial up. I got it about 10 mins ago. It's even slower than I remember it being... will you kick it in the backside for me?

<3 snoo
*



Dearest Snoo,

Dial up is teh suxxor. It is not worthy to grace your presents. Someone of your magnificence deserves a connection so fast that the website you want to visit is loaded before you type the address. You also deserve a teleportation device. That way when you find something online that you want, POOF, its there.

I am right now shaking my fist at dial up. And I am shaking hard. Dial up, prepare to be kicked in the backside. RIGHT. IN. IT.

HIIIIIIIIYA!


Much <3 and many hugs,
Trav
Phyllis
Dearest Travis,

I was debating whether or not to ask you this because it's a little bit gross, but I decided to go for it. I mean, you're cool with OGS, so you must be pretty laid back.

Anyhow, this question relates to yoga. I can understand why they tell pregnant women not to do any of the twisting poses or the vigorous standing ones. That makes sense. But why do they tell menstruating women to not do any of the inverted poses? I do not get it. Is there some sort of shift in women's bodies at that time that will cause them to explode if their bottom is higher than their head?

You should've gotten me the kung pao tofu recipe. It wouldn't have had to come to this.

Love and hugs anyway,
Cand. <3
Daria
Dear Travis
Why are one's pupils black, when all the light which goes into your eyes, enter through your pupil?
Yours,
Diggity Daria
Astarael
Dear Travis-
Which has more of an effect on the world in terms of chaos theory, a butterfly flapping its wings or the groundhog seeing its shadow?
~Ast
The Travis
QUOTE (candice @ Jan 29 2006, 11:55 PM)
Dearest Travis,
But why do they tell menstruating women to not do any of the inverted poses?  I do not get it.  Is there some sort of shift in women's bodies at that time that will cause them to explode if their bottom is higher than their head?

Love and hugs anyway,
Cand.  <3
*


Dear Cand,

Your question can only be answered with these lyrics from Stuart Davis' "Seven Wonders Of The Soul"-

QUOTE
Close your eyes and watch 'em spin
seven orbs in a suit of skin
seven candles up and down the spine
running from the anus to the super-mind

It's a wonder that we don't combust
with all the light put inside of us
even before there's a baby born
it's radiating light like a solar storm

Chorus:
The bottom opens
and there's a will to live
the belly opens
and there's a hers and his
the plexus opens
and kisses every sore
the heart opens
and pollinates a hundred more
the throat opens
and drinks love dry
the head opens
and there's another eye
the crown opens
and there's a will to die

unlock your chakras
unlock all seven chakras

You wanna see 'em and here's the route
you just go in 'til the in is out
can you move that much or sit that still?
you won't see the wonders until you do

But this rose will burn your nose
and all your veins will come unfroze
gushing love like lava flows


Chorus

Hiding right there under our skin
are seven wonders of the soul
glowing like super nova stars
light is what we are


Hugs,
Trav

P.S. You seriously win the grossing me out game.

QUOTE (Daria @ Jan 30 2006, 05:34 PM)
Dear Travis
Why are one's pupils black, when all the light which goes into your eyes, enter through your pupil?
Yours,
Diggity Daria
*


CHSSSSSKT come in Daria-

The reason your pupils are black is very simple really. Your eyes are the gateway to the soul. And in your soul are very many different personality attributes. There's kindness, anger, and of course ninjaness. Yes, ninjaness. Obviously ninjaness is going to battle its way to the forefront. And what do ninjas wear? That's right, black ninja clothes. So your eyes are black from the ninja clothes. This also explains why your pupils get bigger when its dark. The ninja part of you is taking over, because ninjas love the dark.

Over and out
CHSSSSKKT

QUOTE (Astarael @ Feb 2 2006, 04:45 PM)
Dear Travis-
Which has more of an effect on the world in terms of chaos theory, a butterfly flapping its wings or the groundhog seeing its shadow?
~Ast
*


Well lets list the capabilities-

Butterfly : Eater of souls
CODE
- Causes hurricanes and tornadoes
- Can fly
- May or may not have killed the dinosaurs
- Used to be caterpillars


Groundhog : Digestor of spirits
CODE
- Controls the weather
- Can dig like nobody's business
- Wrecks golf courses
- Affiliation with Bill Murray


Hmmm. Well I wasn't sure which was more evil and caused more damage, until I came upon this comic-



Dang butterflies. They are the most evil and have the most effect on the world.
Astarael
Dear Travis-
If clouds were made of cotton candy, what flavor would they be?
~Ast
The Travis
Ast-

Without a doubt they would be bubble gum flavored. How do I know this? Because everyday I chew bubble gum and when I'm done with it I take out my lucky Dennis The Menace slingshot, and shoot my gum into the sky. I've never seen it come down so I must get stuck in the clouds. Thus, they are bubble gum flavored.
Astarael
Dear Travis-
How much ground could a groundhog hog if a groundhog could hog ground?
~Ast
LoLo
QUOTE (The Travis @ Feb 4 2006, 02:02 PM)
Ast-

Without a doubt they would be bubble gum flavored. How do I know this? Because everyday I chew bubble gum and when I'm done with it I take out my lucky Dennis The Menace slingshot, and shoot my gum into the sky. I've never seen it come down so I must get stuck in the clouds. Thus, they are bubble gum flavored.
*


Ewwww ABC bubblegum flavored cotton candy clouds.

Dear Travis,

Do old people have grey pubic hairs?
Saratina
Dear Travis,
Why do I tend to faint when exposed to hypodermic needles or blood? It isn't romantic in the slightest and I'd very much like to know, thanks.
gin
Daria
CHHHSSSKT!
Come in Trav!
Thankyou for your previous answer.
But now- If mice like cheese as much as we are led to believe, have they yet conquored the moon, and if so, how?
Yours,
Daria.
Over!
The Travis
QUOTE (Astarael @ Feb 4 2006, 04:48 PM)
Dear Travis-
How much ground could a groundhog hog if a groundhog could hog ground?
~Ast
*


Ast-
I think we need to solve this mathimatically. Let X = some ground and G = the average groundhog. If G hogs X, and X marks the spot, then G is looking for treasure. Now, if T = some treasure, and R = some guy I saw on my way to class, that means that TX=GR. So the answer to your question is Texas.

QUOTE (LoLo @ Feb 5 2006, 10:09 AM)
Dear Travis,

Do old people have grey pubic hairs?
*


LaLaLoLo-
While it would make sense for them to have grey pubic hairs, they don't. They don't have any pubic hairs. When you get too old, all your pubic hairs migrate from your naughty regions to your bum. Why? Because old people spend so much time sitting, they need the extra cussioning.

QUOTE (Saratina @ Feb 5 2006, 08:15 PM)
Dear Travis,
Why do I tend to faint when exposed to hypodermic needles or blood? It isn't romantic in the slightest and I'd very much like to know, thanks.
gin
*


Saratina-
The answer to this question may shock you. Are you sitting down? Ok good. In a former life you were a hypodermic needle. You were a very important needle. While all the other needles were out hurting people, and calling people names, you were healing people. You were making the world a better place. One day all the other needles got together, sick of you making them look bad, and they tossed you in a sink. Then they turned on the garbage disposal and you were killed.

Because of this you faint when you see needles. You faint when you see blood because its icky.

QUOTE (Daria @ Feb 7 2006, 03:29 PM)
CHHHSSSKT!
Come in Trav!
Thankyou for your previous answer.
But now- If mice like cheese as much as we are led to believe, have they yet conquored the moon, and if so, how?
Yours,
Daria.
Over!
*


Dah Dah Daria-
Excellent question. And yes they have. It all started when we shot a bunch of them into space. One of the ships crashed into the moon and the discovery was made. The moon rejoiced and danced the dance of extacy. They then built a radio and sent back this message in morse code.

Dear earth mice. STOP
The moon is made of cheese. STOP
We're totally havin a moon cheese party. STOP
Also, Jerry, you owe me 10 bucks. STOP

The mice of earth quickly build thousands of rockets to take them to the moon. Some of them made it, but most of them stalled and crashed in New York. The ones that made it, created a small organized government. That government was soon overthrown and replaced by a dictatorship. That dictatorship crumbled when they all remembered that they were just mice. Now all that's left on the moon is a few mice that haven't eaten too much cheese and died of OverCheeseEating Disease. Also, some of them were killed by Martians.

Martians are total jerks.
Daria
Dear Trav- why do cats dribble?

Daria
Astarael
Travis-
What is everything really all about if not the Hokey Pokey? If everything really is about the Hokey Pokey, why?
~Ast
Novander
Dear Travis

It has been almost two weeks since you answered a question here. Do you feel that in this time you've become more qualified to help us with our problems, or do you think your advice-giving skills have deteriorated from lack of use?

Also, do you prefer the word 'qualified' or 'deteriorated'?

One final question: Am I spelling 'deteriorated' correctly? It looks wrong and I can't be bothered with tricky things like dictionaries.

- Nov
LoLo
Dear Travis,

Can you read my mind and if so what am I thinking right now?

_LoLobotomy
michael1384
Dear travis

Why is it that every time i post in a thread that that thread dies soon after?

Michael1384
The Travis
QUOTE (Daria @ Feb 21 2006, 11:52 AM)
Dear Trav- why do cats dribble?

Daria
*


Dear Daria-

Because otherwise they are called for travelling.... Wow what a terrible basketball joke.

I'm sorry,
Trav


QUOTE (Astarael @ Feb 22 2006, 12:55 PM)
Travis-
What is everything really all about if not the Hokey Pokey? If everything really is about the Hokey Pokey, why?
~Ast
*


Aaaaaaaaaast-

I would have to say that everything is indeed about the Hokey Pokey. It says so right in the song. Why? In ancient Rome it was deemed inappropriate to not know an answer. Philosophers had many questions, and if they could not be answered they would become angry. They would get so angry in fact, that they would explode. Anyone in a 4 block radius would be instantly killed. Killed to death. They needed a way to keep this from happening, because as you might imagine people didn't really like this sort of thing.

They thought and thought and thought. And then it hit them. The "it" I'm referring to was a meteor. They all died. So a new group came and thought and thought and thought. They were not hit by a meteor and largely due to this fact, they came up with an answer. Dance. To answer a question that they didn't know they would dance the dance of answers. And so one day, when the Ceasar asked what it was all about the only way to answer him was to dance. That dance was the Hokey Pokey.

-Trav

QUOTE (Novander @ Feb 22 2006, 03:48 PM)
Dear Travis

It has been almost two weeks since you answered a question here. Do you feel that in this time you've become more qualified to help us with our problems, or do you think your advice-giving skills have deteriorated from lack of use?

Also, do you prefer the word 'qualified' or 'deteriorated'?

One final question: Am I spelling 'deteriorated' correctly? It looks wrong and I can't be bothered with tricky things like dictionaries.

- Nov
*


Nah nah nah Nov-

1. I needed the time off actually. My answering tank was running on E. I used my two weeks to gather all the answers I could. I bought this book-



and ate it. Now I'm full. Though I'm not sure what I'm full of, I'm sure someone could tell you.

2. Deteriorated. It's funner to say. I also prefer funner to more fun.

3. Completely correct. 100%. A+. You get a gold star for the day.


QUOTE (LoLo @ Feb 22 2006, 07:12 PM)
Dear Travis,

Can you read my mind and if so what am I thinking right now?

_LoLobotomy
*


LoLobotomy-

Yes. Right now you are trying to picture me in a speedo, juggeling flaming pianos, balancing on a giant ball, while reciting the first 6 billion digits in Pi.

And if I'm wrong and I can't really read your mind, then I think I need professional help....

MIND HUGS,
Trav


QUOTE (michael1384 @ Feb 26 2006, 09:03 AM)
Dear travis

Why is it that every time i post in a thread that that thread dies soon after?

Michael1384
*


Mike one three eight four-

I don't know if I've ever seen you post, so I'll have to wing this one. It could be any or all of the following reasons, except 4 because that one's just silly.

1. You always say something so smart that people are forced to leave the internet for weeks at a time to think about it. By the time they come back, they've forgotten about the thread.

2. You always say something terribly horrible. Something like- "I sure do like to eat cute little kittens. While I'm eating I usually drive slow in the fast lane, talk loudly on my cell phone and punch old people in the neck." Why would you say that Mike thirteen eighty four?

3. You always post so loud that people who read the thread are knocked backwords and hurt themselves. They don't want to risk it again, so they never enter the thread again.

4. Because my cat is so darn cute.

5. Coincidence, science, and penguins are all out to get you. Penguins are quite dangerous.

P.S. Mike one thousand three hundred eighty four, please don't kill my thread.

Thanks,
Trav
Astarael
Travis-
If a infinite monkeys banging on infinite typewriters for infinite time can produce the complete works of Shakespeare, what would three trillion hamsters produce on typewriters in five years?
~Ast
snooodlysnoosnoosnoodle
Deerling Travie,

Two questions.

Would I let your thread die?

Does this </3 tshirt make my bum look big?

<3

snoo the infinitely insecure
I_am_the_best
Dearest Travis,

Why is it that I kept on reading 'Mike one three eight four' as 'Milk one three eight four'? Also, what should I give up for lent? Everyone else seems to be doing it...

Thank you very much.
I keenly await your reply,

Em
Novander
Dear Mr The Travis

Being the board's foremost expert on ninja and their ninjary ways, could you tell me how the ninja community celebrates pancake day?

Awaiting your reply,

- Nov.
The Travis
QUOTE (Astarael @ Feb 27 2006, 03:21 PM)
Travis-
If a infinite monkeys banging on infinite typewriters for infinite time can produce the complete works of Shakespeare, what would three trillion hamsters produce on typewriters in five years?
~Ast
*


Ast-

They would produce about 74 books. None of which would make any sense at all. They'd be all like-

jkeu89nvnc n m,xnjkshhjhhdsfuweyioo0
kiaoodihvh,dns'a
askdfjo2020-9fjd
\[topeewew09q3iejknv,bm

and so on. They would also produce a mountain of hamster poop. Unless you didn't feed them, then they would make about 2,000 pages, a small hill of poop, and room filled with 3 trillion dead hamsters.


QUOTE (snoo @ Feb 27 2006, 03:32 PM)
Deerling Travie,

Two questions.

Would I let your thread die?

Does this </3 tshirt make my bum look big?

<3

snoo the infinitely insecure
*


My snoo,

1. Of course not. I'm sorry I even suggested it. Lets hug now and never fight again.

2. Well if by "big" you mean "very very very very very very very nice", then yes. Otherwise no.

<3 <3 <3
Trav

QUOTE (I_am_the_best @ Feb 27 2006, 04:42 PM)
Dearest Travis,

Why is it that I kept on reading 'Mike one three eight four' as 'Milk one three eight four'? Also, what should I give up for lent? Everyone else seems to be doing it...

Thank you very much.
I keenly await your reply,

Em
*


Emmmmmm-

You read it that way because milk is good for you. And because its so good for you, your mind tricked you into thinking Mike was Milk. That way you were just sitting there reading and you had the urge to drink milk and become the most powerful person in the universe.

Lent? I think you should give up milk. No, just kidding. Oh man, I got you good on that one. But seriously, you should give up eating hotpockets being sick. That's what I plan to do. We could do it together, we'd be like Lent buddies. That'd be pretty cool.


QUOTE (Novander @ Feb 28 2006, 12:27 PM)
Dear Mr The Travis

Being the board's foremost expert on ninja and their ninjary ways, could you tell me how the ninja community celebrates pancake day?

Awaiting your reply,

- Nov.
*


Na Na Na Nov-

The ninjas celebrate pancake day very similar to how I do. First they show their physical abilities-

1. They swim around in a volcano.

2. They walk through a blizzard without being hit by a single snowflake.

3. They point at a building and the building explodes.

4. They kick a rock into space and create a new planet.

Then they eat pancakes with peanut butter. Its good. REALLY good.
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