Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: Ugh... Depressed and looking for "friends"...
The Other Side forums - suitable for mature readers! > The Other Side forums > Introductions and where to find a guide
Pages: 1, 2
Ihatethiscrappylifeofmine
Hullo there idiot.

I see you hath stumbled upon my little board. It should be know as a warning that I am very depressed, driven to insanity by my "family". I also self-harm once in a while when my "brother" fights with me. But there are hardly any obvious reasons why I am like this, so I just whine about this crappy life of mine over and over again until they listen. But they don't. No-one cares. No-one ever does...

So, where were we? Ah, yes, I am new here and need somebody to help me through the unfamilarity, if that's even a word. I'm not that good a speller.

I hate this crappy life of mine so very much, why don't I end it all?

Answer that and be my friend.
Ihatethiscrappylifeofmine
Please note that you don't have to answer it to be my friend, but I would quite like you to answer it anyway.
Ihatethiscrappylifeofmine
Nice comeback.
Ihatethiscrappylifeofmine
To go on I add the fact that males are my mortal enemy. I hate all males, even though only a handful have ever been unkind to me. But their torments hurt me so. I hate them. I hate a lot of things. All I ever feel is pain, hatred and depression. The only thing I truly care about is my rabbit, and even then the feeling is not mutal. Or mutral. However you spell that word. She dislikes a lot of things, but she does suffer from a genetic problem which makes it hard to eat.

Next post will contain the song that I wrote. Oh joy(!)
Ihatethiscrappylifeofmine
DARKNESS

Darkness, Depression,
Poems and Repression,
I ask you why,
Please, do not lie.

There is not enough time,
I was in my prime,
Thingís ainít the same,
Since the day you came.

Thereís no room at the inn,
Iíve lost my next of Kin,
Goodbye,
I must not cryÖ

But I do,
And I miss you,
Donít go away,
The sun will come out another day.

Secrets and lies,
The little light dies,
Today it may rain,
And I`ll still be in pain.

I have no luck,
And life really sucks,
But Iíve got you,
So life isnít so blue.

With all my might,
I seize the light,
I hate thee,
So it will be.

I am a wicken,
It is how I am stricken,
The powers of the earth,
I got at my birth.

It may be dark,
But we can still have a lark,
Iím really confused,
I hate being used,

When I come you never can tell,
If I`ll cause hell,
I create war,
So Iím never a bore.

I hurt those close to me,
As you will see,
I cry when they die,
And I ask myself ďWhy?Ē

---------------------------------------------

Just a nice little ditty that took me an afternoon and some blood 'cause the knives looked so pretty on my skin...

I don't know why I wrote it, but I was depressed and it helped me feel better.

None of you care though, and I can understand that.
Ihatethiscrappylifeofmine
*sigh* Hardly no-one posted. Why does this not surprize me? Nevermind, I'll just crawl into a hole and die. Bye. sad.gif
Greeneyes
Ok, perhaps you aren't familiar with the concept of a forum, so allow me to just outline it in case you aren't aware. First of all, the 'board' refers to the actual forum itself, which contains threads. The string of replies which you have created here is a thread, as opposed to a board. Secondly, forums are different to instant messengers, or chat rooms, as people only reply when they are looking at the boards. You really need to leave a longer time to expect a reply to something, as it's reasonably unlikely that lots of people will have even read the topic in the 4 minutes you're leaving between posts. You can see how many people are online at the bottom of the front page (forum index).

Also, in regards to your depressed mood and misandrist attitudes, it's probably much more productive to seek some help about possible psychological problems rather than just, as you put it, whining over and over again. Furthermore, the personal concerns forum contains a thread dedicated to contact numbers for problems, and most likely has several threads in it which will contain content relevant to yours.

Hope that helps.
little_bear
Arf! Sorry, but I refuse to believe you are for real. There's just a faint whiff of 'attention seeking' about you, I'm afraid.

Take your misandrist views elsewhere. We don't tolerate bigotry on these boards.
Tom
QUOTE (Ihatethiscrappylifeofmine @ Dec 28 2005, 10:22 PM)
DARKNESS

Darkness, Depression,
Poems and Repression,
I ask you why,
Please, do not lie.

There is not enough time,
I was in my prime,
Thingís ainít the same,
Since the day you came.

Thereís no room at the inn,
Iíve lost my next of Kin,
Goodbye,
I must not cryÖ

But I do,
And I miss you,
Donít go away,
The sun will come out another day.

Secrets and lies,
The little light dies,
Today it may rain,
And I`ll still be in pain.

I have no luck,
And life really sucks,
But Iíve got you,
So life isnít so blue.

With all my might,
I seize the light,
I hate thee,
So it will be.

I am a wicken,
It is how I am stricken,
The powers of the earth,
I got at my birth.

It may be dark,
But we can still have a lark,
Iím really confused,
I hate being used,

When I come you never can tell,
If I`ll cause hell,
I create war,
So Iím never a bore.

I hurt those close to me,
As you will see,
I cry when they die,
And I ask myself  ďWhy?Ē

---------------------------------------------

*


That was great *looks away from the computer... has idei * I like your flow with the way you write that song/poem. Welcome to the forums and maybe you can start a topic were everyone writes their songs/poems. I hope we see you around. tongue.gif
Tom
QUOTE (little_bear @ Dec 28 2005, 11:37 PM)
Arf! Sorry, but I refuse to believe you are for real. There's just a faint whiff of 'attention seeking' about you, I'm afraid.

Take your misandrist views elsewhere. We don't tolerate bigotry on these boards.
*


Come on little_bear dont say that she shouldnt come to the boards, shes proberly be though some bad time. Give her some time, ok.(please dont kill me little_bear i was only making a point.
I'm to young to die!!!!!!)<--Sarcasm
Mata
If this is for real then it reads very much like a parody of other people who feel this way.
Astarael
This reminds me of the "My Soul is like a Hole" poem from "Open Mike Night." It's like a parody of the whole gothic/emo mindset.
I believe you meant that you are a "Wiccan," not a "wicken." It's a somewhat bad sign if you can't spell your own religion. The flow is decent, but your rhymes seem very forced.
If you are for real, then people will be glad to comfort you in Personal Concerns and you can read the list of helpful resources. We really are willing to be nice if you wait for responses and explain more about your problems. smile.gif

By the way, little_twit, that's the point of the Creations board. It's not usually very busy, but people are welcome to post their poems, songs, and artwork on there whenever they like.
Ihatethiscrappylifeofmine
What religion? I have none. I do not believe in an actual God, but rather a really cool force that controls the universe ans keeps it in balance. I just had that part because it ties in with me. I'm really earthical, if that word even exists, and love nature. Even though I hate eveything else. I also wrote another one about my love, but I don't have one, so you don't wanna hear it.

I don't know what or how I should feel. It all seems so unreal. I'm surrounded by idiots like my "brother" everyday, and it makes me crazy. I hate him, I hate most of my family. No-one cares, no-one ever does...
little_bear
QUOTE (Ihatethiscrappylifeofmine @ Dec 30 2005, 12:24 AM)
I don't know what or how I should feel. It all seems so unreal. I'm surrounded by idiots like my "brother" everyday, and it makes me crazy. I hate him, I hate most of my family. No-one cares, no-one ever does...
*

What, so, he's not your brother?

And "No-one cares, no-one ever does..." should become your catchphrase. Like Roy Walker off 'Catchphrase'

"Say what ya see!".

Legend.
Ihatethiscrappylifeofmine
Nope. Flick back a few posts and you will here about my moody rabbit. Apart from her, the few girls I hang out with, and my Gran, I hate most other lifeforms that I have met, even over the computer. I cannot tell you to leave, and even though I've already judged you, sorry in advance for what a fool you will see me be, I will not ask you to leave as that is rude in my book, and we don't want to be rude to one another now, do we?
little_bear
What do you mean, ask me to leave?
Ihatethiscrappylifeofmine
>.< x.x -.- Kill me now, please...?
little_bear
Not before you answer my question.
Ihatethiscrappylifeofmine
I wasn't talking to you, and I am not going to.
little_bear
;_;

Pls?
Ihatethiscrappylifeofmine
*sigh* The darkness closes in, the knife on my skin. No-one cares, let them all hide in their lairs, let them accuse me of crimes I've never done, lookin' out for number one, dyin' and cryin' while I sit here, broken and alone, havin' a right old moan.
Ihatethiscrappylifeofmine
I am goin' now, see ya this time tomorrow, if I don't kill myself by then. Buh-bye.
Phyllis
If this is a parody, then it's really not funny. And if it's genuine (though it does have an air of attempting to be humorous about it), then you need far more help than strangers on an Internet forum can provide.

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, even though I strongly suspect that you're just trying to have a giggle (trust me, you're really the only one doing so) and just say welcome to the forums, I guess.
The Travis
HAY GUYS WUTS GOIN ON IN TEH INTRANET!!!???!?!??!??!?!?!???!??
Mata
You weren't to know this, but there is some history on these forums that means that we don't take discussion of suicide lightly. For all I know you could be very serious about all this, but your style of writing suggests a fairly large dose of goth-parody which means that you are being flippant about killing yourself. That's not something that we really joke about around here, so hold back on that will you please?

That's a nice way of saying 'ease up on the melodrama', many people feel very depressed at one time or another but it's frequently not the end of the world for them and with patience it won't be for you either (still assuming that you're not just taking the mickey).
Ihatethiscrappylifeofmine
How can you even suggest that I am joking? I can not help the way I feel, even though I resent it. Our scars remind us that the past is real, and I have many scars. Some self-inflicted, although not many, some you cannot see, especially over the internet.

Why do you even care? Don't waste your time on me. Just stay and chat for a little bit if you have nothin' better to do. No-one cares, no-one ever does...
Mata
QUOTE (Ihatethiscrappylifeofmine @ Dec 30 2005, 01:13 AM)
How can you even suggest that I am joking? [snip] No-one cares, no-one ever does...
*

and from another thread:
QUOTE
no-one cares, no-one ever does... I'm broken, alone... Drifting, like a fragment in a pool towards insanity...

Because you say things like that, which seem to be incredibly dramatic when people are clearly at least mildly interested. Your expressions are so over-the-top that they come across, to a reader who doesn't know you (and perhaps especially if they do know you), as parody of a depressed teenager.

It may be that you are completely genuine, in which case I apologise, but if that is so then the disbelieving reaction of people on here will hopefully indicate that you are currently expressing yourself in a way that seems too melodramatic to be truly heartfelt. Perhaps if you posted more about yourself rather than simply about how dark your soul is then people might get a bit more of a rounded image of you than a scribbled portrait. You'll find soon enough that between the people on these forums there have been a lot of intense life experiences, family and friends dying, serious illness, self-harm, abusive relationships, and other things... As well as a lot of very positive things about how people have coped with them and started to/managed to move on. I guess the question there then is whether you want to move out of your current state of mind or whether you are happy being unhappy.

As for the invitation to 'stay and chat for a bit', I think you're the first person who has ever invited me to stay on my own forums! People generally don't come on forums if they're busy!
FeralPolyglot
Welcome to the Forum. I'm sorry that you're in a sad or dark time right now.

Regarding the talk bit about suicide and whatnot, it is best to seek help through counselors or hotlines or something more intimate than from strangers on an internet forum. I'm sure that one could find a plethora of sites and numbers to call anonymously to get information.

I agree with what Mata said.. "...I guess the question there then is whether you want to move out of your current state of mind or whether you are happy being unhappy.... [2005Dec29]". Assuming you want to make friends, there are people online who will befriend you, but it makes it a lot less arduous if they're not having to fight through walls of "no-one cares, no-one ever does." People will care if you let them.

Welcome to the Forum. I hope you enjoy your stay here and make many friends. smile.gif

-Cerin
=^^= ~~
Wookiee
I think we've found the Chosen One! The Mediclorians are right off the scale.

QUOTE (Ihatethiscrappylifeofmine @ Dec 30 2005, 12:24 AM)
I do not believe in an actual God, but rather a really cool force that controls the universe ans keeps it in balance
*


Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.

QUOTE (candice @ Dec 30 2005, 01:42 AM)
If this is a parody, then it's really not funny.
*


Pffft. I'm so entertained by this.
Kitty
Ah, but in the sense that she could possibly be trying to trick us all into pittying her and trying to offer her advice and help her out, when she could really just be playing around for the hell of it, isnt funny at all. Given some of the things that have happened to people on these forums, suicide and depression isnt a matter to be taken lightly.
Wookiee
I'm actually far more entertained by the idea that this is for real.
Kitty
QUOTE (Wookiee @ Jan 3 2006, 04:00 AM)
I'm actually far more entertained by the idea that this is for real.
*


That kind of scares me
Pixelgoth
QUOTE (Ihatethiscrappylifeofmine @ Dec 29 2005, 11:24 PM)
I'm surrounded by idiots like my "brother" everyday, and it makes me crazy. I hate him, I hate most of my family.
*


Take it from someone who has just lost a family member to cancer. You probably don't hate them. You have issues. We all do. I don't like my brother very much. Sometimes I hate him but we've both just lost our Mum so I stick with it because he emotionally stunted. Doesn't make him a bad person. Just emotionally stunted. He's my brother so I love him whatever.

On a less serious note....welcome to the board biggrin.gif
Pikasyuu
Perhaps it would help to broaden your spectrum of the world outside of your own inner torment, assuming that it's real. If it isn't? You're pretty sick, but that's hardly worth paying attention to.

Perhaps you could try therapy, which, despite how cliche it sounds, is an actual suggestion. If you have a chemical imbalance, people like that can help ease it off since it's their job. Otherwise, I think your perspective is quite an issue. Most of the time, people lighten up if they stop assuming people are out to get them, like, uh, males? For instance? Life could not possibly be that awful, and taking it for granted by constantly making suicide references is both ignorant and insulting. If you want help, ask for it. Otherwise, spare those of us who actually do take the time to try and help those who are feeling suicidal, because things like this make us feel stupid for even trying.
Mutilation
If you're not being serious: That poem was one of the best things on the internet. One of the greatest pieces of satrical writing in our time.

If you're being serious: Maybe you should take a step back and let the people here get to know you, rather than replying to their greetings with:

QUOTE
Why do you even care? Don't waste your time on me (Isn't that a Blink 182 lyric or something? - Mu) . Just stay and chat for a little bit if you have nothing better to do. No-one cares, no-one ever does.


Alot of people here have gone through pretty bad things, as have billions of other people in the world. I'm not going to tell you to think about how much better you have it compared to an African child, because you'll bite my head off. But I'm sure if you open yourself up to the good people here at Matazone they'll help you get through this bad time you're going through. And although you think that it might never end, just let people help you.

Well, I'll leave you with pictures from world famous photographer Kevin Carter:

Kevin Carter's award winning photograph

The Manic Street Preacher's Rule

Oh, and PS. Wookie, sorry for all that I've said to you previously, I have a bad habit of going OTT, can we leave all of this behind us now? No hard feelings (Even though I'm more to blame, he he)?
PsychWardMike
This person is an unfunny joke playing on an equally pathetic teenage stereotype.
Star_of_Lei
Ok if this is real, I wish I could slap you around the face and point out that either get help or get up. My cousin has plenty of scars on her arms, and none of them are accidents. But you know what? She gets over it.
I hate people in general because I am anti-social and tempermental (You may have noticed) But I don't go do damned selfpity-ish. It's irritating. Plus, I'm in this place by my own choice. I lost two best friends out of my choice, because I didn't want to be their victim anymore.
We can change whatever we don't like, whatever we want to change. It a matter of will, and if you are doing this selfpity act because you want attention or pity, you won't find it here. Go to personal concerns. But honestly, if this is just for fun, or if it's real, then you need ALOT more help than we can offer. So make the choice. Because I don't think many people are laughing.
I generally think you do believe you are depressed, but you won't get out of it by moping in these forums, you'll get out of it but get your head out of those damned dreams clouds you're surrounding yourself with, and now I sound like my mother(!) But maybe she's right. And please don't go on the defensive, it's tiring and pointless.

It's better to light one candle than to curse the dark.
I_am_the_best
^ Your post reminded of that 'hate something, change something, make something better...' song from the car advert.

Welcome to the forums although it seems you've disappeared.
The Lorax
QUOTE (The Travis @ Dec 29 2005, 05:52 PM)
HAY GUYS WUTS GOIN ON IN TEH INTRANET!!!???!?!??!??!?!?!???!??
*


I. Love. You.



QUOTE
I'm surrounded by idiots like my "brother" everyday, and it makes me crazy. I hate him, I hate most of my family.



...Do you happen to have any kind of blog...like, oh-say: Livejournal? tongue.gif
little_bear
QUOTE (The Lorax @ Jan 13 2006, 06:51 AM)
...Do you happen to have any kind of blog...like, oh-say: Livejournal?  tongue.gif
*

You're not suggesting that LiveJournal could possibly be... *gasp* emo, are you!? Quelle horreur!
greymullet
QUOTE (little_bear @ Dec 28 2005, 11:37 PM)
Arf! Sorry, but I refuse to believe you are for real. There's just a faint whiff of 'attention seeking' about you, I'm afraid.

Take your misandrist views elsewhere. We don't tolerate bigotry on these boards.
*



Oh thank God. There is someone else on this Earth who knows and uses the word 'misandry' (and acknowledges the existance of misandry itself).

QUOTE (The Lorax @ Jan 13 2006, 05:51 AM)
QUOTE (The Travis @ Dec 29 2005, 05:52 PM)
HAY GUYS WUTS GOIN ON IN TEH INTRANET!!!???!?!??!??!?!?!???!??
*


I. Love. You.



Me too ;-)
PsychWardMike
Pfft. If they're really dead, I'd eat my hat.

Then throw a party.
Pixelgoth
QUOTE (snow white @ Jan 21 2006, 05:09 AM)
One more thing, consider the posibilty that this is for a fact how she feels this
thread might lead to her suicide or attemped at it. And if any of you can find the movie PUMP UP THE VOLUME watch it and you'll under stand where I'm coming
from.
*


Firstly, I did not jump on anyone. Secondly, they are probably not serious. Thirdly, don't get so worked up. I'm sure they won't commit suicide because of a few posts on a forum that aren't even that bad anyway. Have you seen other threads?!
trunks_girl26
Try rereading most of the posts again, will you?

Most of them have a distinct tone of not knowing whether or not it is actually a joke, and since this person hasn't been back to claim one thing or another, none of us really know.

Again, if you reread the posts, most of them are caring enough to entertain the idea that it may be real, and want this person to get help.

There have been people on this board who have faked things such as this in the past, so naturally people here are wary, especially when this person's posts so clearly follow such an obvious pattern of 'teen angst.'
Pixelgoth
QUOTE (snow white @ Jan 22 2006, 01:51 AM)
It doesn't matter wiether you think she is serious or not. What does matter is the posibility that she might be. This really sucks. I don't get how you guys could be so careless about life when you have it sitting in the palm of your hand. This not only sucks but it's repulsive. mad.gif
*


Did you actually read my post??? I hardly think we have been asked to decide whether this person lives or dies. I agree with trunks_girl26 on this one. Reread the posts.
elphaba2
No use in being snippy, I realize, but "firstly" is, actually. Recognized by Merriam-Websters, so it's good enough for me. And though it is noble of you to defend this person, no one on here actually knows her and it reads like a parody--the seriousness of the tone when quoting that Papa Roach song, the poetry that seems to have hopped out of one of Mata's animations, and so on.

No one has any malicious intentions in this thread and it seems as if she's left in a huff anyway. I see no massive harm done.
trunks_girl26
QUOTE (snow white @ Jan 25 2006, 04:58 PM)
Firstly isn't a word. I've said enough. No one listens. There's no such thing as a teenage stereo type. Excuse me for being human for once.  sad.gif
*


erm, might I point you to these lovely links which describe the teenage stereotype which you claim doesn't exist.

Here's one about angst.

Here's one about youth culture and stereotypes.

And here's one about teenagers in general. (I'd pay attention to the part that mentions disrimination against adolescents wink.gif )

However, you've seemed to miss the point that I was trying to make in my previous post that while we're all wary of this being a joke, the previous posts were far from just condeming 'Ihatethiscrappylifeofmine.'

And might I remind you that there is quite a difference between listening to what one says and agreeing with it. I read your points, and still disagree. I'm sure you'll find that this tends to happen from time to time in life.
Cath Sparrow
Firstly firstly is definatly a word please go check your dictionary.
Secondly you have done your self exactly what you accuse other forum members of and condemed us all as being inconsiderate. If you take you time to read the thread as others have surgested you will see that we are perfectly willing to give this person who has since buggered off a chance and help them as long as they are serious and explain them selves in a less stereotypical way. I agree that as individauls there aren't teenage stereotyps but groups of invividuals can and do cause stereotypes and this person has use so many cliches they have made them selves into one. So please do your self a favour and stop alienating your self by defending some one who is no long seems to be on this forum and give us a chance and you will discover that we are a very careing group of people we just dislike this consideration being abused which in the past has happened.
Sir Psycho Sexy
QUOTE (Cath @ Jan 25 2006, 07:12 PM)
Firstly firstly is definatly a word please go check your dictionary.
*


Ok!

QUOTE
  Firstly - adverb
      used to introduce a first point or reason
    firstly it is wrong and secondly it is extremely difficult to impliment.



I think the correct term here is: pwned!!1
Astarael
*shrugs* The posts, while questioning the reality of the angsty whinging, were nice enough to encourage the poster to seek help and have some friendly conversations if she wanted. She seems to have left and pouted, so I don't see what the problem is. Snow_white, try looking carefully at the tone of the initial reaction posts. They're a bit skeptical but overall concerned and willing to talk.
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.