Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: Arson sucks
The Other Side forums - suitable for mature readers! > The Other Side forums > Personal concerns
monkey_called_narth
so friday ryan came home in order to pack our things. We already had alot of stuff in the car because we had been staying with my grandmother because i take care of her... and i was taking car of her for most of the weekend. We had the brilliant idea to grab our clothes and wash them because we dont own a washing machien.

So ryan cam home, loaded up all of my clothes, about half of his, bedding, shower stuff, ect.

Suddenly i got a phone call about how he couldn't find the keys, and he said he was going to go to the bathroom and to come pick him up in a while so we could stay the night together.

Five minets later i got a phone call "hey steph? our car got stolen."

So i zip my ass into town, look around dumbly at where our car should be, and Ry call the coppers.

About 12 hours later i was asked to come into town to report what was in the car at the time it was stolen.

While i was in town making out a list, i suppose they ran my name. So it turns out i had some warrent for missing a few hours of community service for speeding.

The nice officer walked back into the room with me, and officer Rodgers and says. "hey i have some good news and some bad news. First we found your car, --unfortunatly it was set on fire by the people who stole it---.... and your under arrest."

Thats the most bull shit sentance ever.

They set my shit on fire.....

I was under arrest for not completing my community service.

So now i own:
1 bed
3 couches
1 pair of shorts
1 pair of pants
3 shirts
2 cats
1 dog

-and i had to use my pay check to bail myself out of jail.

Fucking hell.

-steph
Wookiee
Still, at least you weren't kicked to death by a donkey. That would've really sucked.
pgrmdave
Wow, what a string of terrible luck. I hope things turn out okay for you, Narth.
Snugglebum the Destroyer
Three couches? How many TVs are attached to those?
Mata
That's a really sucky day.

*looks for bright side* Moving house will be easy in future...?

I'm curious: why didn't you finish you community service? (If you don't mind saying, of course.)
spiffilicious05
Wow that really stinks, I'm sorry! Not that you'd want them or anything but I'm currently going through my clothes and getting rid of things that i dont wear or need -- if you're at all interested let me know!

I'm sorry about your no good, horrible, very bad day sad.gif
pgrmdave
If you're in need of quick help, many times local churches will be more than willing to help you, especially with clothing.
monkey_called_narth
>.> Fuck you wookie. I dont even care if i get in trouble for that..... Fuck you.

mata -> I thought i had finished, there was like 3-4 hours left out of 70.

Spiff -> thanks smile.gif i dont think anything you own will fit me.

We have 1 tv, it belongs to a roommate
Wookiee
QUOTE (monkey_called_narth @ Jun 6 2007, 01:24 AM) *
F@#$ you wookie. I dont even care if i get in trouble for that..... F@#$ you.


That's not news, Jonah!

Next week: ANAL!
Mata
W: a bit of sympathy mixed with humour wouldn't have been too much to ask would it?

Narth: that's a real pain. You'd think they would have mentioned that you'd not finished before elevating it straight up to arresting you. Has there been any follow up yet?
froggle-rock
Maybe you could Freecycle for some clothes and furnishings?
monkey_called_narth
were talking to insurace companies, ill post the pictures of my car in the next few days.

as for jail i have court on the 27th
Forever Unknown
QUOTE (Mata @ Jun 6 2007, 08:15 PM) *
W: a bit of sympathy mixed with humour wouldn't have been too much to ask would it?


I'm pretty sure his comment didn't deserve a little colourful tyrade though, eh?
Wookiee
I'm just not sure how to relate to someone who owns only one pair of pants and manages to get themselves almost casually arrested like that. Maybe my sympathy gland is broken? I think a donkey smooshed it to pulpy gunky bits.
Sir Psycho Sexy
QUOTE (Mata @ Jun 6 2007, 08:15 PM) *
W: a bit of sympathy mixed with humour wouldn't have been too much to ask would it?


Give the man some credit, he remembered the unfortunate death of narth's puppy and used it against her when she's pretty down....twice!

QUOTE (Forever Unknown @ Jun 7 2007, 09:43 AM) *
I'm pretty sure his comment didn't deserve a little colourful tyrade though, eh?


Playing devils advocate for a moment, I don't think Wookiee's initial reply was either deserved or entirely nessecary.
Forever Unknown
I never said it was. But it seems like he's the only one whose behaviour got remarked upon. I thought it deserved a mention.
Wookiee
QUOTE (Sir_Psycho_Sexy @ Jun 7 2007, 12:27 PM) *
Give the man some credit, he remembered the avoidable death of narth's puppy and used it against her when she's pretty down....twice!

I don't think Wookiee's initial reply was either deserved or entirely nessecary, but it was funny.


Hi, yer post was broke but I fixed it now!
Sir Psycho Sexy
QUOTE (Forever Unknown @ Jun 7 2007, 01:01 PM) *
I never said it was. But it seems like he's the only one whose behaviour got remarked upon. I thought it deserved a mention.


*shrug* His was the inflamatory post.
Forever Unknown
He didn't resort to offensive language. And he's the one who got the telling off and everything else is completely ignored. How fair! Hooray!
Sir Psycho Sexy
So...it's okay to kick someone when their down as long as no one uses any naughty words?
Forever Unknown
You're really bad at this, aren't you? And deliberately oblivious to the point I'm making.

You are the win at Putting Idiotic Words In People's Mouths 101.

Just to re-iterate - no, I never said that. It's the second time you've suggested I've said something when I haven't, actually. Hmm... Anyway! I'm just pointing out who started with the aggression and who actually got the smackdown while the aggression and offensive language - which I've had the impression is very frowned upon here - is entirely overlooked.
Wookiee
QUOTE (Sir_Psycho_Sexy @ Jun 7 2007, 03:45 PM) *
So...it's okay to kick someone when their down as long as no one uses any naughty words?


Snugglebum the Destroyer
Okay - just trying to mediate; it ain't going to be pretty and I am going to be frank.

Firstly, I want to make it very clear that Narth has had a really hard time. Not just with this particular incident but lately, it seems. I appreciate this and I do sympathise with her. It totally sucks arse when everything seems to be working against you.

I can also see this from Wookies point of view (as I see it, I don't actually know what his point of view is so he could just tell me I'm wrong, wrong, wrong). A lot of Narth's recent topics have been a bit of a trial to tolerate. Everthing has become a drama made out of a crisis. For outsiders; it becomes a bit frustrating. I suppose what I'm trying to highlight is that this forum not a personal blog space. It IS persontal concerns but you have to expect some conflict to any topic; albeit something that you are sensitive about.

I feel that if you're not prepared to take some critisisum/joshing even on a sensitive subject such as this then you really don't want to be voicing your woes on a public forum.

Wookie - you're just looking for a beating aren't you? wink.gif

I will await my punishment in due course.
Forever Unknown
^ Word.
monkey_called_narth
Thanks for the kind words guys.





Okay, I'm going to take this slow, and attempt to highlight everything in its turn.

1. The fact that my puppy is dead is a bit of a sore spot? yes. It

caused some drama on the forum? Yes. Did I intentionally post it here to

create some sort of drama? No. Was I harrassed by wookie because of my

puppies death? You could say so. Do I wan't to be poked fun of because I

had to put a puppy to sleep? No. Was it clearly literated at the

begining of this post that I obviously have cut down my amount of pets

owed? Pretty sure.

a. Why would the fact my puppy is dead be a sore spot? -how about the fact that my puppy is dead.

b. the did I make the post about the pupy to creat drama? no. I was kinda emotional and needed to vent for a moment. Blaming capitalism was more then a little irrational, but an hour after putting my puppy to sleep I wasn't the most rational person in the world. I don't really hold capitalism to blame, I hold jerks that run vet clinics in my area that refuse to offer payment plans.

c. was I harrased by Wookie?

[quote] Thee stupide, o how it doth burn. [/quote]

hmmm....

Now as for a point in -that thread where it was being disscused- it's a diffrent matter to take care of a dog and spend $20 a week on it. Anouther thing to be demanded 4 payments of $2000 dollars for surgery (it was a 4 step surgery that would have ranged 6 mounths, plus the cost for them keeping it, plus the cost for meds, ect.).

On anouther matter on my responsabilities -> they didn't happen all at once. -had- a donkey next door to my grandmothers house. I can't change the fact that my grandmother is crazy. i did no wake up one morning, take a pregnacy test, call my grandmother, and go to adopt a pet.

d. Was i harrased by wookie because of my puppies death?

[quote]Still, at least you weren't kicked to death by a donkey. That would've really sucked.[/quote]

[quote] I think a donkey smooshed it to pulpy gunky bits. [/quote]

e. Was it clearly written at the

begining of this post that I obviously have cut down my amount of pets

owed? Pretty sure.

[quote] 2 cats
1 dog [/quote]

and two of them are leaving being adopted next week.

On a far more important point, how exactly does my puppies death relate to my car getting stolen? Nothing. Who broght up the fact that my puppy got killed? Wookie. Did he bring up the puppies death in a clearly offencive way? -pretty sure.

[quote] I can also see this from Wookies point of view (as I see it, I don't actually know what his point of view is so he could just tell me I'm wrong, wrong, wrong). A lot of Narth's recent topics have been a bit of a trial to tolerate. Everthing has become a drama made out of a crisis. For outsiders; it becomes a bit frustrating. I suppose what I'm trying to highlight is that this forum not a personal blog space. It IS persontal concerns but you have to expect some conflict to any topic; albeit something that you are sensitive about.[/quote]

This wasn't posted as any sort of drama. Where in my original post was there drama, aside from the fact that this is a pretty sucky situation. The conflict isn't even about the car being stolen now is it? No. It doesnt even relate to the fact that the car was stolen.

Heres the conflict in the thread:

wookie
[quote] Still, at least you weren't kicked to death by a donkey. That would've really sucked[/quote]

me
[quote]Fuck you[/quote]

fu
[quote] I'm pretty sure his comment didn't deserve a little colourful tyrade though, eh?[/quote]

wookie
[quote] *a nice little move with editing somones post to make it a personal attack against narth* [/quote]

sps
[quote] *shrug* His was the inflamatory post. [/quote]

fu
[quote] Anyway! I'm just pointing out who started with the aggression and who actually got the smackdown while the aggression and offensive language - which I've had the impression is very frowned upon here - is entirely overlooked.[/quote]

Snuggle
[quote] I feel that if you're not prepared to take some critisisum/joshing even on a sensitive subject such as this then you really don't want to be voicing your woes on a public forum.[/quote]

Where is the critisism/joshing in that at all?

How does it have anything to do with the current "woe i am voicing on a public forum"?

I would really like some critisism about how my car got stolen and set on fire.
1. the car was stolen
2. the car was set on fire
3. i got arrested
4. the fact that my car got stolen has nothing to do with a puppy. unless, in fact, a puppy stole my car.

Now shall we stop the inflamitory spam that has nothing to do with the situation?
Wookiee
QUOTE (monkey_called_narth @ Jun 8 2007, 08:04 AM) *
4. the fact that my car got stolen has nothing to do with a puppy. unless, in fact, a puppy stole my car.


Don't be ridiculous, puppies can't drive. Fancy not knowing that! No wonder you're so rubbish at puppies.
monkey_called_narth
Oh look, you're going to ignore the greater part of my post inorder to make a idiotic statement, and attempt to bother me.


Which you have done in every post on this thread.


You are just so witty.
Wookiee
Mostly it's because no-one seems to be able to spell Wookiee properly. It frustrates me, riles me up, gets my muscles all knotted and my brain upset.

I mean, all right, maybe not everyone gets it. Maybe no-one remembers Leia Organa, disguised as the bounty hunter Boushh, bringing Chewbacca to Jabba's palace, and the subtitled dialogue, "I have come for the bounty on this Wookiee". Maybe no-one else here has a Scary Go Round "Saddest Wookiee" t-shirt. That's fine. But look, it's right there! Right next to every post I make, spelt W-O-O-K-I-E-E! Is it any wonder I'm so angry with the world? Is it any wonder I'm holding a thermal detonator?!
MistressAlti
Whatever you might think of Narth and her issues, I don't think making fun of people in the Personal Concerns forum is a trend that anyone wants started. I can't blame anyone for being annoyed by some of the stuff that gets posted here but please just take the high road and ignore topics that annoy you.
Mata
Thanks Snugs for trying to calm this a bit; however, to address one of the points that you made that I disagree on, here's the description of this part of the forums:

QUOTE
If you need to talk about something away from your physical surroundings, a shoulder to cry on, a place to ask for advice about problems you're having, or about something that is happening to friends, then this is the place to post. It's for personal issues that are affecting your life.


I think it's pretty clear that I want this area to be a place where people can feel confident that they aren't going to be mocked for choices that they have made. If people want advice or simply to tell people what's upsetting them then this should be a secure area for that to happen. I don't think that there is anything in the description of this area that suggests that Wookiee's behaviour is the anticipated or appropriate response to posts here.

Some of you may remember back before this forum existed, we had a user who was continually posting about the troubles that she was facing. There was nothing really wrong with that - we all need a bit of support when we're going through hard times and there's no reason why that shouldn't happen with online friends (and a fair number of reasons why it may prove to be a better outlet than others). The problem was that it was happening every couple of days, seemingly, and some members of the forum became intolerant of it. This area of the forums was created specifically so that people who feel intolerant of reading about the troubles of other people's lives could easily avoid it, removing the temptation to make inappropriate comments to people who are already upset.

Wookiee, as I'm sure he's aware, has posted messages in here that demonstrate that he does not agree with Narth's responses to situations, or that he is unwilling to be sympathetic to her and her circumstances. He holds views that disagree with Narth's and he has failed to be sympathetic to her feelings. I created this area of the forums specifically so that people who do not wish to show concern for the difficulties of other forum members can easily avoid it. The idea is that friends can find support from their friends when they need it without fear of criticism, and those who are unwilling to engage in this process can easily go elsewhere. Wookiee has now twice been unsympathetic to Narth's situations, and has chosen - instead of keeping quiet - to demonstrate this.

We all know that I don't approve of swearing on here, but I do agree that it does have justifiable circumstances. I found Narth's response to be inside a broadly reasonable range of reactions given the previous incident and this recurrence of provocation. That is why I had no problem with what Narth has said in this thread.

I have asked Wookiee to remain out of the Personal Concerns area if he doesn't wish to show any empathy for the situations of others. He is often an entertaining member of the forums, although sometimes too abrasive, and if he can't resist being confrontational with people when they are having difficult moments in their life then he should avoid this area. If he wishes to be more empathetic with members who post in here then he is welcome to join in the threads, otherwise he should remain out of this area. I think that this is a reasonable request.

To put it another way: Narth's post was entirely keeping with the description of this area of the forums, Wookiee's was not. That's why Wookiee is getting flak and Narth isn't.

Why is this important? If people are mocked for any post relating to major or minor problems then it may discourage others from sharing things that are impacting on their life, and this may have been the only outlet they felt comfortable using. I want this set of forum to be fun when we want it to be, but also capable of having a genuinely positive influence on the lives of the people who engage with it. To do this it requires that people feel confident about sharing their experiences, both good and bad.

We have a group that has a variety of backgrounds and very diverse circumstances. Each person will experience things in their life that, to them, are traumatic. The classic example of 'daddy won't buy me a pony' is a circumstance that elicits very little sympathy, but the emotional upset can be very real. Some people want to post when their life confronts unarguably real suffering. Most people have troubles that fall somewhere in the middle. I sometimes feel trapped in my job, but I work for a really cool company. Many people think that I must be mad to occasionally feel bad about not being self-employed, but if I were to start a thread about this I would hope people would try to understand and sympathise with my view. Every person has the right to discuss what is troubling them with confidence, whether it is something considered minor to everyone else or not.

If you want to be confrontational or to disagree about subjects then go and discuss the subject field in Issues, but this is not the place for that behaviour. I had previously made my request to Wookiee privately, but since this is continuing to be discussed heatedly I felt some public clarification would be useful. I hope this has made my views on the situation clear. Please apply what I have said to future discussion and behaviour in the Personal Concerns area because I will be enforcing it. Again, I don't think it's an unreasonable expectation of users given the description of the area.
Calantyr
Whoah, spread the love...

Sorry to hear about what happened Narth. How likely is it that you would get some sort of.. I dunno.. compensation from this ordeal? And you seriously have that little left? Anyone you can scrounge a new shirt or something off?

And with only one pair of pants I seriously hope you don't get skidmarks...
Phyllis
QUOTE (Calantyr @ Jun 8 2007, 08:46 PM) *
And with only one pair of pants I seriously hope you don't get skidmarks...

laugh.gif

I think she meant the US definition of the term, though. Unless you know people who have gotten skidmarks on their trousers? blink.gif

Anyway, I'm really sorry that happened to you, Narth. I don't have any good advice, because I've (fortunately) never been in a situation like that. Good luck...
monkey_called_narth
You see... there is a way to tease people about a problem, and i would like to high five Calantyr right now.


We get a new car, and a very small amount of money for the items inside.

On the note of replacing things...
I went to dollar general and got a few cheap items of clothing.
5 shirts
3 pairs of pants
for the total right now.
Aside form that, the orginisation i am a part of is going to give me a couple of shirts, as well as replace a few of my books. (they were all in the car, i had been living out of my car for two weeks.)
a freind is burning me new cd's (to replace some of the ones that were lost)

So things are rolling towards recovery, abeit in a slow mannor.
Calantyr
QUOTE (monkey_called_narth @ Jun 8 2007, 09:08 PM) *
You see... there is a way to tease people about a problem, and i would like to high five Calantyr right now.


*High-fives anyway! Huzzah!*

Well I'm glad you're getting something. A new car, some cash, and a few bits-and-bobs is more than I worried you'd get.

Good luck on getting back on your feet. smile.gif
Snugglebum the Destroyer
Mata - I understand your point. However, I do sometimes feel that you forget that when it comes to the internet - YOU do don't have control. Or ME. Or ANYONE.

I know the rules and I try to abide by them as I can, as well do most people here. The comments made by Wookie (probably spelt wrong) wrong, right or indifferent - could have been done so by anyone.

Want sensitivity? I'm annoyed that my 'attempt' (read as; shut up stupid bitch) to calm the situation is dismissed as such. Honesty is such a downrated trait it would seem
Forever Unknown
And to add another two cents, there are more mature ways to deal with a situation rather than yelling insults, which just exasperated the problem and encouraged him, because it was nearing hysteria. A quiet PM, ignoring the post, the OP politely asking him to either leave the issue alone or be constructive. 'Cause really, what did 'fuck off fuck off' really achieve? It just made things more heated. I certainly think that encouraging people to react to circumstances calmly rather than disproportionately is important, right?

Additionally, I think it's naive to think that this - or any other - corner of the internet is a 'safe zone'. It's not. What's there is out there, it's public. I've seen a lot of nasty stuff go down, to the extent of a ruined marriage, happen through posts on a forum. And anyone could walk into a thread in this forum and berate people, issue threats, be truly evil and say things a million times worse than Wookiee did.
Mata
You're absolutely right that I can't control the internet, but I do control this bit of it. You're also right that I can't stop people posting things that break the guidelines, but I can prevent them doing it again if I feel that they have no part to play in this community.

Don't mistake this for a democracy; this site is a benevolent dictatorship and I've never pretended otherwise. I pay attention to people's opinions, but in the end the buck stops with me.

The responsibility is with Wookiee to not antagonise people who are under emotional strain. If he can't do that then he gets chucked out. It's not ideal, but he is being given a fair chance to prove that this isn't a necessary step.

Yes, this is a public forum and anyone could turn up and say whatever they want, but in all the years the thing that I've learnt is that generally they don't. People could be horrible to each other but they aren't. Occasionally people don't follow the guidelines that I've laid out and I try to encourage them to follow these. If people chose not to do this then I ban them. It's as simple as that.

The internet, and any website specifically, is only as good and civilised as the people using it. I have gathered a group of people here who have a generally high standard of mutual respect, even through differing opinions on subjects. Anyone could join, but it seems that my site has attracted a mostly open minded and respectful bunch of people. It seems reasonable that these people can also respect the occasional need of others to discuss problems that they are facing in life without fear of ridicule or persecution from their peers.

Again, I agree that anyone could come into this thread and start posting whatever they want, but that wouldn't really be such a problem: offensive spam is annoying, but idiots are easy to ignore. When regular members show a lack of sensitivity then that is more of a problem, which is why this discussion is going on in the first place.

I don't think we disagree here, I just think we've got different perspectives on the same thing. This place is free for anyone to post in, and it is free for anyone to read, allowing anyone to be offensive if they really wished to be, but they would be unlikely to bother circumventing the banning procedures that I would put in place given that there is no reward for that behaviour. We've had offensive spam in the past, I've dealt with it, and you'll notice that it's not here any more.

Yes, this place is open and public, but the reality is that generally the public are very well behaved - which makes it more frustrating when an entertaining and interesting member of the community seems to struggle with the basics of civility! There is a big difference between what is possible to happen (as you say, people could post very offensive material here) and what actually does happen, which means that in terms of the internet this place is very well regulated and relatively safe.

I find it interesting that you are determined to defend Wookiee by arguing that anyone could come and be offensive. They could, yes, but they didn't. I don't really think that's relevant, the point of the matter is that I think he has clearly stepped beyond the guidelines of the forum. I've asked him not to do this again, and to my knowledge he has accepted my point and agreed. By publicly defending the rights of people to communicate without being ridiculed in this part of my forums I hope that it will make people feel more comfortable about posting future topics here. Yes, there is always the potential that they could be mocked, but Wookiee is the only person who has done this, he has given the impression in my private conversation with him that he doesn't intend to do this again in the future, so there's no problem here.

Nothing is 100% safe online, I know, but this place is a vastly better than most because of the general culture of respect that has developed here, which is why I'm attempting to resolve this in a way that satisfies all parties and ensures a similar or better level of security for future threads. There's no such thing as a 'safe zone', but to then dismiss all attempts to make a 'much safer zone' as pointless is very pessimistic!
Forever Unknown
It's not relevant that someone could come here and be a sh*t? I really think you should be pointed towards some less friendly places on the internet. On the whole, y'all lucky here. And the operative work is lucky.

Also, I've seen the private conversation with Wookiee, if a conversation you could call it. I might call it 'banter'. Certianly no issues were properly addressed. And now he's been suspended. Huzzah! Work that problem!

Finally (it's 5am and not the time to be dealing with this properly), it's being claimed that I'm defending Wookiee and I'm not. Not one word, until this post, has been about the way he has dealt with this. Not at all. Words. Mouth. Pot. Kettle. Paltrow.

And I don't think this as a democracy. 'Course not. That'd be moronic. But if I disagree, I'm gonna say so.

The rest I will deal with when I'm less this side of dead.
Phyllis
There are also plenty of places on the internet with stricter banning policies that could be seen as "safer" than here. A lot of livejournal communities come to mind. They get inflammatory posts too (everywhere does), but they're dealt with pretty quickly.

Sorry to say it, FU, but I am not really seeing what your point is. Anyone could have said it, and we're lucky that more trolls don't come here...and? Moderators shouldn't deal publicly with someone who is ignoring the rules? They shouldn't pretend that Personal Concerns is a safer place, and people who ridicule others in here shouldn't get warned? Barbara Streisand is the antichrist?

I don't think it'd be all that different if there were more unfriendly people, to be honest. The moderators would have more work to do, but the rules would still be the rules. They actually used to have a LOT more moderating to do not long after I first joined. Back then there would be people posting occasionally about how unfair they were, blah blah blah, pretty much the same stuff you're saying. I think there was a poll involved at one point. Anyway, those people are either now banned, vanished, or they drastically changed their ways...so I'm not exactly convinced that the rules don't work.
Mata
QUOTE (Forever Unknown @ Jun 10 2007, 05:09 AM) *
Also, I've seen the private conversation with Wookiee, if a conversation you could call it. I might call it 'banter'. Certianly no issues were properly addressed. And now he's been suspended. Huzzah! Work that problem!

Wookiee has been given a two day suspension because he continued to pick on a sore point for Narth after I had requested that he ceased antagonising people in this area. I made the request that he stopped doing it, he didn't follow it. I'll ignore the sarcasm in your post because you were posting in the middle of the night smile.gif

I gave him friendly advice to not mock people in this area, and that if he couldn't resist then he shouldn't post here at all. The exact phrase was:
QUOTE
I'd advise sticking out of the Personal Concerns area because I can't let you continue upsetting people there.

I think that's pretty clear. Would it have been better to say 'Stay out of Personal Concerns and stop picking on Narth or I'll ban you'? I don't think so. That would have been blunt to the point of rudeness and I would fully expect him to have told me to piss off.

The warning was given in a friendly tone, 'banter' as you put it, because he's smart enough to understand that I do need to enforce the rules. I could have gone wading in, giving explicit threats, but what would be the point? That would be an insult to his intelligence and very counter-productive. I expressed to him that he shouldn't continue to post in the manner that he has been previously and he acknowledged my request. Unless I'm grossly over-estimating him, I'm sure he understands that the end of the line for continued rule breaking would be banning so I didn't feel that it would serve any purpose to remind him of this. A two day ban isn't harsh and gives space to breath.

I don't see that there's much need for discussion of this. A request was made, it wasn't followed, a penalty was put in place. Does that sound unreasonable? That's how forums work. Usually I wouldn't have made this so public, but since you have taken an interest I figured that it wouldn't do any harm to make the process open in this case.

Moving on...

I'm not convinced that it is only luck that has made this place friendly. I've got good moderators who do a great job of keeping an eye on things. I used to promote my site on places like NewGrounds but found that it encouraged too many people with a lack of respect for civility to join the forums, so I stopped. I have worked hard to promote an attitude that allows people space to express themselves as long as they do it with respect for the views of others, this has been enjoyed and supported by the other people on this forum so that it has become a community effort.

Like Lolo, I'm not really sure what this discussion has become about. You are saying that if you disagree with me then you will say so, and that's absolutely fine. You say that we are lucky that we have nice people on here... Well, I think that a lot of this has come from moderation and the support of positive behaviour (they weren't all so nice when they joined!), but if you want to call that luck then that's up to you. You say that I should look at other forums on the web to see how much abuse and trouble they have. I've seen them, and they do have a lot of difficulty, but I'm still not sure what your point is.

Are you saying that I shouldn't ask people to change their behaviour when they start breaking the rules simply because the rest of the web puts up with it? Or are you saying that it's okay for people to be disrespectful because it happens on most other websites? Perhaps you think I should not expect or request reasonable standards of behaviour because this is an uncommon thing in society? I'm sorry if I've misunderstood you, but I'm not sure what you're trying to communicate. I don't think that because disrespectful behaviour happens elsewhere that I shouldn't do my best to prevent it here. Generally it works, which proves that I'm either very lucky (as you say) or that I'm doing something right. I think it's the latter, but you are welcome to disagree if you please.

I think that the reason this site isn't like most others is because I (and 'we' - this has become a set of community values) don't put up with bad behaviour, and new users either accept that they need to act in a respectful manner to others or they leave (under their own volition usually, but on rare occasions by force). As I said before, I don't attribute this to luck, but even if it is luck that I've got a good forum then why shouldn't I protect it? I could be apathetic and say 'rudeness is common on most sites so I won't bother about it on mine' or I can do something about it. I choose the latter.

It seems that the only disagreement that we have is about the matter of whether it's luck or work that means this site is usually a very friendly place. If there's something else then say so!
Wookiee
Good grief, this all got very silly. I was a little bit puzzled, 'cause the word "harrassment" was bandied 'round, and everyone got in a tizzy over nothing.

It does interest me, the dynamic of this little corner of the internet. Of course, it isn't a democracy, and yes, Mata makes the rules. What I find baffling, though, is the idea of people posting something in a place where absoutely anybody with an internet connection can see it and form an opinion, and get so sniffy when they don't get the responses they want. If you just want to vent and receive nothing but the unending support of your internet friends, why not make a private, friends-only blog entry or something? Just seems really backwards to me.

I'm not going to lose any sleep over it, of course, although knowing that people like Narth do inhabit the internet does fill me with a sort of malevolent glee.
Mata
It certainly has been a lot of fuss, but the frustrating thing is that it could be easily avoided in future if you only restrict your malevolent glee to other places.
Pixelgoth
QUOTE (Mata @ Jun 10 2007, 09:00 PM) *
It certainly has been a lot of fuss, but the frustrating thing is that it could be easily avoided in future if you only restrict your malevolent glee to other places.


Ya know what?! Narth sometimes annoys me with her posts but I just don't say anything. You know why? Because I've chatted to her outside of these forums and she's genuinely nice girl! *big hugs* Everybody posts stuff that annoys every now and then. Mata does a wonderful job of being "in charge" for want of a better word and the moderators keep things going smoothly. I've never felt that I couldn't post what I wanted but then I've never felt the need to post anything remotely obscene or rude to other people or things.

Narth, I hope this gets sorted for you. I truly sucks to have things taken from you like that. It doesn't matter if some people can't empathise with you. Some people just aren't like that. I'm not sometimes. To be honest when I started reading this thread it was just curiosity but I'm genuinely bothered that your hurting and that's the main point to this whole thread. Genuine support for someone who needs it. Yeah, Narth could've posted a blog (and she probably does!) but I don't know where that is and as a friend I'd like to know when she's suffering and this is her way or getting that across to me and others who lurk here smile.gif

Fingers crossed for ya'!

P.S. None of this is aimed at anyone or meant to antagonise or annoy anyone specifically. Perhaps we should have this as a footnote in all our posts laugh.gif
monkey_called_narth
*hugs*
Pixelgoth
QUOTE (monkey_called_narth @ Jun 11 2007, 12:25 PM) *
*hugs*


*hugs back* biggrin.gif
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.