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Fish Head
I've known about this issue for about a year now, but I never knew how serious it was until this week.

Apparently, I send out the gay vibe.

Not constantly, but from time to time.

I knew there were some people who at one point thought I was gay. During my freshman year, there were people who thought I was mentally retarded (true story.) It seems that this year, my sexuality is being questioned. I thought these things were anomalies... people who couldn't really handle my eccentricity.

This is not the case.

This week, during normal (for me) conversation, my best friend brought up the fact that people ask him if I'm gay. His response is, "No, gay people have fashion sense." While that is both funny and a partial insult to me, he said he was very serious about people asking him about me.

I find this odd and slightly disturbing.

I am very much not gay. I have nothing against homosexuals, but I am not one.

I don't really mind this very much... but it is weird that so many question my sexuality...



I'm not looking for any help with this... I just wanted to get this out in the open and maybe hear some people's opinions...
Mattskimo
Everyone thinks I'm gay.

When I started 6th form someone told the whole school I was gay.

I'm not, but people were really suprised when I said I wasn't and asked if I had been.

The gayest i get is calling David Tennant a sexy man.
sirdudly
People are stupid. They try to label everything because it helps them think their stupid thoughts. It doesn't matter if they label incorrectly, they just need some umbrella term to dictate their opinions of people.
Sir Psycho Sexy
*shrug* It happens to me, mostly when people first meet me. Not entirely sure why, I've asked people, it used to bother me but not so much anymore. Some people have said it's a backhanded compliment somehow, or just because my first line of inquirey with women isn't to asscertain if I can get in their pants.

Don't let it get to you, you're not gay, people that know you know you're not gay, and even if you were? What's it to do with anyone else?
Fish Head
It's not getting to me, I am quite comfortable with my sexuality, I just wonder WHY so many people feel the need to question my gender preferences...
Sir Psycho Sexy
Idle curiosity?
sirdudly
Well, were I'm from, calling somebody some sort of homosexual slur is basically a friendly greeting of sorts. But then again, my school is one giant sexual harassment lawsuit waiting to happen.
selina
i think its a stereotype that if a guy's a bit soft, neat and fashionable, he's gay. I do like to point out who might be gay in a crowd, but i dont make it an immediate assumption. maybe its a good thing if you guys are sending a hint of gay vibes cause it means your a bit refined compared to other men who are sloppy and sweaty[sorry=)]. though i think u'll get a bit paranoid when you get it a lot.

they are people who think i might be gay too.i had about 3-5 people who've asked me bout it. but that's before college. i dont know about now. i do get really nevervous if i look a bit "lezzie-ish"
Daria
At a "secret warehouse party" event thing (how awful it was is a different matter- my point being, I was there with strangers) one time, I was being chatted up by this girl. Now, I was there with my boyfriend, and it was only when her friend whispered to her, about 10 minutes, into her ear that perhaps the guy I was with was my boyfriend, that she apologised and wandered off.

I would like to point out that he was wearing a "Frankie Says Relax" t-shirt, and mine was a SoHo Dolls t-shirt which was printed with a naked female torso with gaffa tape over the nipples, and I was wearing my armyboots with a black skirt.

Interesting how stereotypes work.
Witless
QUOTE (Daria @ Sep 3 2007, 11:51 AM) *
At a "secret warehouse party" event thing (how awful it was is a different matter- my point being, I was there with strangers) one time, I was being chatted up by this girl. Now, I was there with my boyfriend, and it was only when her friend whispered to her, about 10 minutes, into her ear that perhaps the guy I was with was my boyfriend, that she apologised and wandered off.

I would like to point out that he was wearing a "Frankie Says Relax" t-shirt, and mine was a SoHo Dolls t-shirt which was printed with a naked female torso with gaffa tape over the nipples, and I was wearing my armyboots with a black skirt.

Interesting how stereotypes work.


Maybe she wasn't chatting you up because she thought you met a stereo type. Maybe she was trying to chat you up for the simpler reason that she thought you were hot and she had hope smile.gif.
selina
yeah.... take it as a compliment, at least you know your attractive to both sides
Sir Psycho Sexy
QUOTE (Witless @ Sep 4 2007, 12:37 AM) *
Maybe she was trying to chat you up for the simpler reason that she thought you were hot and she had hope smile.gif.


I always thought that, they always struck me as optimists just by chatting a stranger up. tongue.gif
Calantyr
A couple of weeks back I was snogged by a guy in the gents, he sorta just lept on me mumbled something about cute, and legged it out the door.

Left me paralysed in confusion for a few minutes, the whisky didn't help.

Apparently everyone thinks I'm gay. Must be the hair.

I'm still confused but it was a pretty big boost to my ego nonetheless. smile.gif
elphaba2
QUOTE (Calantyr @ Sep 5 2007, 06:03 PM) *
A couple of weeks back I was snogged by a guy in the gents, he sorta just lept on me mumbled something about cute, and legged it out the door.

I know that guy! Obviously not the same one, but that type exactly. His particular brand of gay gets really gropey after a drink or five. (Your guy wasn't Colombian, was he?)

I've been mistaken for a lesbian a couple times, but never by actual lesbians, who at my age are thousands of times hotter than I am. Frankly, I don't think the Gay Vibe is of any real concern--all it takes is the occasional reminder to friends and acquaintances that you like the ladies, and it's all good. Usually people speculate like that because they don't get a good idea of what you're like while in school and they're genuinely curious. If you take it all in good heart, it shouldn't be a problem, but trying to like "track down" the people who might've asked your friend is a bad idea. Most likely, they were curious (or wanted to jump your bones) and trying not to offend you.
Calantyr
I think he was Japanese, and quite the looker if I recall correctly!

So... yay?
-TheKasbah-
I have nothing against gays, but I don't like other penises apart from mine, but sure take it as a compliment that people think your attractive enough that they want you to be gay. laugh.gif A compliment is a compliment like.
Rubix
Sending the gay vibe can sometimes be a good thing... my friends and I sometimes talk about how we wish some gay guys weren't, because they tend to be easier to talk to, have better fashion sense, and they don't just focus on the easiest route to sleeping with you.
Jim
QUOTE (-TheKasbah- @ Sep 16 2007, 04:23 PM) *
I have nothing against gays, but I don't like other penises apart from mine, but sure take it as a compliment that people think your attractive enough that they want you to be gay. laugh.gif A compliment is a compliment like.



Id take that as a compliment ;)

The Kasbah sends out the gay vibe in person too
bug0112
People presume I'm a lesbian all the time...especially people who are new to the school (I go to a single sex school). They just see me how I am, and it's only when I tell them I'm straight they lose this presumption. It doesn't bother me, it makes me laugh sometimes at how "sterotypical" people think I am.
Hyperion
Hehe, I was at the doctor's office Friday, getting some forms to fill out, and the girl working reception was in one of my friends' English classes, and she asked me this ambigous question about whether I was Amber's (she trailed off after that) and I was like "*stupid blink* yeah?" because I had other things on my mind.

Only later did I realize, as Amber and I shared a cigarette in front of the class building, that she had asked if we were, ya know, together.

I mean, sure, I lika da womens. *bats lashes at syuu*
But I'm also in a serious relationship with, ya know, a man right now.

... For some reason, everyone thinks I'm a lesbian. But see. I perpetuate the rumour with my own actions.

Maybe I should work on that, eh?


Anyway, about questioning people's sexuality, well, I'm the girl who gets on Ventrilo and asks my bf's guild buddies if they're gay because they talk a certain way. While I understand that it's hideously rude, well, I'm a hideously rude (and nosy) lady. Usually, if someone pays enough attention to you to question your sexuality, it's a compliment. smile.gif
Pikasyuu
I can't say anyone's ever told me I give them the gay vibe - I don't really give them the chance to. While there's only been one female I've really, really been in love with and seen myself with for a good chunk of my lifetime, I still make it known that I'm very attracted to both men and women. Most of my co-workers figure it out when I make remarks like, 'Wow, she's hot/a ten/smokin', and it's not SO that they know, it's just what comes naturally to me. I'm lucky enough to live in a place where my sexuality is almost completely acceptable, so if I feel a certain way or appreciate a man or a woman in any way, I'll tell whoever's around.
Mata
I don't do it deliberately, but I do find that I get into sexuality conversations pretty quickly when I meet new people that I'm comfortable with. I guess it says a lot about my old work place that it didn't really come up except with a gay guy there - and then only to shut him up.

There's a TV program in the UK called Little Britain. Mostly it's rubbish, but there are some quite accurate stereotypes in it. One of them is of a gay guy living in a tiny countryside village who constantly tells everyone how gay he is and expects them all to be shocked or amused by this. The guy at work was a bit like that.

EDIT: I should point out that he was actually a very nice guy, but the gay thing was very overplayed.
Pikasyuu
That's one of my pet peeves, sadly. I don't think any of you over there have seen "A Shot At Love with Tila Tequila" - it's about the Myspace phenomenon Tila Tequila (who has some kind of singing career) and it's one of those reality TV dating shows. It's the first one where both men and women vie for her affections, but I'm starting to get a little annoyed that every word out of her mouth is "I'm a bisexual" and that she's "never told anyone" - which she has, since that was public information for a long time before the show.

I'm glad that more than one sexuality exists in the mainstream, but it should be portrayed for what it is - normal.
Mata
Bisexuality is still a long way from being seen as normal in mainstream media. It could be that Tila Tequila (what luck her parents gave her such a celebrity name) only mentions her bisexuality rarely, but the editors find it so titillating that they always keep that bit in the show.
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