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The Other Side forums - suitable for mature readers! > The Other Side forums > Personal concerns
Just to let everyone know, I'm actually another member of this forum, but my friends (although they don't come on here often) know my old username, and it would kill me to have them know this.

And I'm sorry. In light of the other things that people post here, this seems like such a shallow concern, but I need to tell someone, or it'll probably tear me up.

I have a guy friend. That I've known for two years. That I've had a huge crush on for two years. Who is now going out with my best friend, and I introduced them.

I'm not one of those jealous types who will rip people apart, and this isn't one of those "he should be with me not you" things, because it's obvious that the two of them are meant to be together... they're so happy whenever they're with each other.

It's just that my guy friend is the only person that I've ever truly wanted very badly to be in a relationship with, and now it has finally set in that that will never happen, as I'm a senior in high school, and I know the two of them will stay together at least till the end of this year.

And... I just don't want to get so jealous that I start to dislike them. I want to be happy that they're happy. They are my two best friends, and it would be horrible if this ruined our friendship. I(Not that it won't already be really strained. We used to hag out together, just the three of us. Now we can't, because instead of three, we're two and one)

And now for the really shallow part. I'm now the only person I know who has never been on a date. Who has never been asked out. Who has never anything.

And so I read my two friends facebook statuses, saying how ecstatic they are, and I see her face light up as she tells me how he asked her to homecoming, and I smile back, and try to act normal.

I just don't want to end up resenting them...
I'm sorry it's a rough time right now.
If it helps you to know I didn't start dating much until I was out of high school and into college. I found I could be more myself and find people who appreciated that. Find who you are. Focus on the things you like and goals you want to achieve and you'll find romantic interests just show up.
At least I did.
"many fears are born of fatigue and lonelyness"
There is someone, or even more than one someone, out there for you. Be open to meeting people. A friend of an aquaintence might be a person you could really fancy. Still, you won't know if you don't meet 'em.
Relax. What's for you won't go by you.
this must be really difficult for you.
Sounds like a bad situation to be in. Not exactly sure what to do, because i, myself, have never been in your shoes.
To be honest, i wouldn't bother about not being asked or anything. In time like, you will. suppose it's just the fact about keeping it hidden from others cause you don't want people knowing. but honestly, you'll realize you aint the only one.
If you end up getting too caught up in this then it'll only break you down & you don't want that. it'll not help you at all. i would agree with ashbless. focus on things you like and want to do. & you'll see things will work out for you.
remember like, they're are two of your closest friends. if they make each other happy then that's just the way things are. Would you rather end up loosing two people who mean a lot to you?
It's clear you care for him, and the fact you've let them carry on being happy without saying how you feel shows what a true friend you are, in my opinion.
don't worry.
I'm a guy, similar situation, cept I just got dropped over the weekend. I won't mention who as i know dreamsx outside of this site. So pure embarrasment if I do say names. But just try and find someone else, it's what i have been doing. If you think about them too much you will end up hating them, but as you said, you don't want to do that. You'll be better off going with someone who likes you like you like her, instead of going out with someone who likes someone else better, that can lead to really bad things, especially as it is two of your best friends.

Just for dreamsx's note, it's not two best friends, one best friend seeing just a friend of mine, so it's not K&G.
Thanks so much... I know you can't offer a solution, but it was more the fact that I just needed somewhere where I could tell anyone what I was actually feeling instead of pretending to be perfectly happy all the time.

You guys are a great support group-ish community.
Well it is personal concerns, I wouldn't come here if I din't want to help. Anyway, I hope now that you've got it off your chest you can be a happier person. biggrin.gif
Not sure if I can add anything good to the situation, so I will just talk about myself instead tongue.gif
At highschool, I was short, fat, boy-looking, wore glasses, and uni-sex trousers (it was a choice between them or a skirt), and always had guy friends, never a boyfriend. I lost my virginity one drunken night, before I had ever had a boyfriend, have only ever had two "serious"* relationships (and one not so serious), and the first date I went on with my current boyfriend was seven months into our relationship! (We had lived together for 5 months prior to that.) My appearance changed pretty dramatically when I went to 6th form (aged 17/18) and I became more feminine and more self confident. I decided that I didn't need someone else to make me happy- I felt completely self contained and happy with things and how my life was at the time.
I do remember feeling so low at times, during highschool, that I would just want to change myself completely, JUST so I could be like my friends and have a boyfriend or even a kiss! I still wouldn't say that I am a desirable person, and I still have no clue as to why the boyfriends I have had/ still have (singular, I promise!) wanted to be with me- BUT! I would say that it really doesn't matter how you feel right now.
Hmm, that sounds wrong. What I meant was: You're allowed to be down, you're allowed to be a little jealous. You're allowed to sit in your room and cry when you feel like it (I like crying, I feel WAY better afterwards). You just have to remember that what ever drama is going on in your life right now isn't going to be permanent. Believe me- I have had so many dramas, felt so many times that everything was just s*** and that everything will always be that horribly wrong. But it is rubbish. Things will always turn up- If I were religious, I may quote the old "When God closes a door, he opens a window" thing. Although I'm not religious, I do believe that everything happens for a reason- who knows: because you'll stop thinking so much about how awesome this guy is, you may notice other people taking an interest in you, or just generally how awesome someone else is smile.gif

*seeing as the relationship I am in at the moment is only 11 months old (ish), my definition of a "serious relationship" is based on how I am affected emotionally by the other person
It seems I'm the only guy here, oh God! I'm outnumbered!

*Casually walks away and sprints once around a corner*
You should feel special, a guy, discussing sentimental issues? thats a gem, in the eyes of the girls, I believe. Let me learn from you, and also reap the beneficts that will come from such attitude.
There will be other people that you will want to be with, soon enough. It's big of you to not want to resent them. Focus on your other friends!
So amazed at your...don't know the word...self-lessness? That will do! I'm awful at advice, but good at hugs, so I shall give you one of them instead! *hugs*
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