Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: My brother's ill again
The Other Side forums - suitable for mature readers! > The Other Side forums > Personal concerns
Pixelgoth
As some of you may know about a year ago my brother was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma. I can't find the original thread to link to and I can't be bothered to go into details. Basically, he had chemo for 6 months and he was given the all clear in February but 1-2 months later he was ill again and he's now undergoing more chemo.

He's just rung to say he's not feeling well and they want him to go to the hospital as he has a temperature (38) and he's got a large swelling in his armpit. He thinks it might be linked to the Hickman line (permanent tube in his chest for injections/taking blood) as he's having problems with that but I can't help worrying as under your arm is where you have lymphs and obviously if he's got Lymphoma the chemo might not be working sad.gif sad.gif sad.gif sad.gif sad.gif sad.gif sad.gif
elphaba2
Augh, pixie I'm so sorry that your brother's feeling crappy again. The both of you have all my best best thoughts headed England-ward. Cancer is a stupid whore and I sincerely hope he's not going to have to deal with her again.
gothictheysay
Oh, I'm so sorry sad.gif You have all of my hopes and prayers, Pixie. I hope he feels better soon. *lots of hugs*
Mata
I'm very sorry to hear that. Have they said how severe the remaining cancer is?

My father became ill with cancer again earlier this year, 3 years after being given the all-clear. Fortunately it was only very minor cancer clusters left over from the first time, tiny bits that they missed, so those have now been removed and he has once again been given the all-clear.

I sincerely hope that your story goes as well as my fathers! *hugs*
froggle-rock
*hugs*

That's crappy, I hope cancer stop being crappy. *hugs*
Pixelgoth
QUOTE (Mata @ Jul 1 2008, 01:22 PM) *
I'm very sorry to hear that. Have they said how severe the remaining cancer is?

My father became ill with cancer again earlier this year, 3 years after being given the all-clear. Fortunately it was only very minor cancer clusters left over from the first time, tiny bits that they missed, so those have now been removed and he has once again been given the all-clear.

I sincerely hope that your story goes as well as my fathers! *hugs*


It's not really a case of how severe it is. He's just got it back again like he had it before. He's being treated and he had to go to hospital a couple of days ago as he was running a temperature and had a lump under his arm. Turns out his Hickman line was blocked with a blood clot and he's not have DVT injections and antibiotics sad.gif

We're just hoping that this chemo session will knock it on the head once and for all. The alternative doesn't bear thinking about right now sad.gif

I'm glad you're father's OK though smile.gif
Pixelgoth
QUOTE (Pixiegoth @ Jul 2 2008, 02:18 PM) *
he had to go to hospital a couple of days ago as he was running a temperature and had a lump under his arm. Turns out his Hickman line was blocked with a blood clot and he's not have DVT injections and antibiotics sad.gif


Turns out they got it wrong sad.gif The lump is actually the cancer and it's behaving aggressively and they are concerned that the chemo they're using now isn't working as best as they hoped. He's finishing his 2nd round off (by Friday 18th) and then having a CT scan on 21st July. He's got to see the consultant at St Barts shortly after that but the doctors at Broomfields think he'll be rushed onto the extreme chemo (it's called BEAM as the anagram of the chemo drugs they use) to react aggressively to the aggressive cancer. We're all very worried but, as you can imagine, there isn't much we can do except keep our fingers crossed.

I can't tell you how much my heart broke when my brother muttered 'looks like it's the beginning of the end' sad.gif sad.gif sad.gif sad.gif sad.gif sad.gif
froggle-rock
*hugs*
monkey_called_narth
*double hugs*
bug0112
Really sorry to hear about that sad.gif *ultra hugs* Hope it all turns out OK!
Mata
Well... That just sucks.

Then again, they wouldn't be doing the treatment if there wasn't a chance it could work. I'll hope for the best and send comforting thoughts your way.
Sir Psycho Sexy
I was just talking about you and your brother with my friend and his girlfriend, as such my thoughts are already with you.
Keep us updated, you know where I am if you need me. smile.gif
Pixelgoth
Thanks all smile.gif

We've just had a call about his latest scan and although they've stopped the chemo the lymphoma appears to have reduced slightly which is excellent news.

We're now not sure what's going to happen.

It's just a bleedin' rollercoaster at the moment but we're trying to stay positive smile.gif
Mata
It's been a week... Has there been any change? It was really good to hear that the lymphoma has receded slightly - let's hope that continues!
Pixelgoth
QUOTE (Mata @ Jul 30 2008, 01:17 PM) *
It's been a week... Has there been any change? It was really good to hear that the lymphoma has receded slightly - let's hope that continues!


Ah bless ya for asking smile.gif

I'm trying to get hold of him as I type this as he's gone back to the hospital today to speak to them about being really tired again and probably needing another blood tranfusion. His cough isn't any better either sad.gif

As soon as I know anything I'll post it.

As far as I'm aware he's having his 3rd session (of 4) of chemo on Friday but he has an appointment with the specialist at St Barts tomorrow so it might all change again.
Pixelgoth
UPDATE

He's just finishing his 3rd session of 4 of chemo but they're not giving him the 4th as they had hoped for a better reduction of the lyphoma. He's have a PET CT scan in London at the beginning of September and then seeing the consultant. Once we know more they are going to try another lot of chemo to see if that works before giving him the inpatient intensive chemo and stem cell transplant.

It's really a day to day thing at the moment and it's tiring but we're trying to stay positive and while we're not talking about paliative care I'm happy smile.gif
Mata
It certainly sounds like they're trying everything that they've got. It's times like these that you've just got to love the NHS - you'd be getting out a mortgage to pay for this treatment in the US.

Thanks for the update, I had been wondering how things were progressing.

Look over there! *stealth pounce hugs*
Pixelgoth
OK. Long story short. It's not good sad.gif

They have now said they can't treat him anymore. He's going to die. They've given him weeks. I can't find a smilie (ironic name considering!) to show how sad I am. He's still fully with it and we're spending quality time with him but sometimes I have to be alone or at least away from the hospital to get my head together.

Plus my boyfriend's dumped me. He's also Andrew's best friend and this is hard for him and we've been having problems aside from this. Not making excuses for him just filling in the gaps. I am sad about that too though.

I can't imagine things getting much worse now. I don't want to either. I'm trying not to expect any more bad news although my Uncle (Mum's bro) has bone cancer. Gaaaaaaaaahhh! sad.gif If it wasn't so tragic and sad it'd be laughable! sad.gif

I just wanted to let you all know what's going on and basically my reason for not being around much recently.

I will be at the London Meet (Andrew's health permitting, he's stable but should he taken a sudden turn for the worse, etc.) this coming Saturday so I'll be able to catch up in person smile.gif
Daria
*MASSIVE HUGS*
I'm so sorry to hear all this sad.gif You know that you have a huge and wonderfully supporting group of people here who are here for you if you need to talk. *hugs again*
xx
froggle-rock
*hugs*

That's shitty, and I'm sorry to hear these things. So I give you my virtual hugs and next week I give you some real ones. *hugs some more*

Just wanted to add that I am feeling for you and your family and thinking of you.
Pikasyuu
That is all so terrible I have no idea what to say. I hope it's as easy as it could possibly be on you and that you and your brother have good quality time together before you part ways. And for what it's worth, at the risk of sounding ignorant and biased, your (now) ex-boyfriend is a complete idiot.

*huuuuuuuuuuuge massive giant loving hugs* sad.gif
Mata
That's very sad news. I'm glad that you'll get to spend time together and that he's still together enough to appreciate it, but it's awful that this is the way things have gone.

I second Syuu's comments about the ex.

I'll be thinking of you, and I look forward to seeing you on the weekend.
Smiler
That's aweful. As with all of the above I'm very sorry to hear the news but hope that you're time together will be a good enough time for you and your family. Basically a big echoing of sentiment and big hugs.

Hopefully see you on the weekend. Matt
Pixelgoth
Thanks guys.

I was originally sticking up for my ex. He's Andrew's best mate and his head's all over the place at the moment but after speaking to several people I can see that he couldn't have done this at a worse time and he was being slightly selfish with his intentions. We'd not been happy for a while but we were working through things with a counsellor and he said he loved me but he's just deserted me when I needed him (and some might say he needs me) the most.

Anyway, we're still on speaking terms and perhaps in the future when we've both grieved and grown up/developed we'll change our minds about being apart and want to be with each other.

I can't be with him now as he's just not able to cope with his emotions and I can't be with someone like that right now. I'm not saying he always has to be like that but whenever things got hard for us he just couldn't talk about his feelings and that frustrated and angered me which meant we just upset each other.

Andrew is still stable and they're still talking weeks. I don't know whether to wish him on his way (as it's hard for us all) or try and enjoy spending the time with him even though he's wasting away. I just can't think straight at the moment and don't know what's right and wrong feeling-wise. I'm going to see a counsellor about it all but I think I need to help myself just as much and I'm not sure whether to rely on someone like that.

At least my ex's parents have gone home now (they were here for 10 days from the minute we split!!!!! sad.gif) and I can relax in my own home a bit more without feeling constantly judged by them. I'm moving my furniture out this Sunday and my belongings will follow shortly after. It's just finding the time to do this while keeping an eye on my bro. ANOTHER thing I shouldn't have to deal with while I'm watching my brother die....thanks ex!!!
Mata
It sounds like you're taking one thing at a time, and that's working. I can't imagine how it must feel, but the way you're handling things is incredible. The ex's parents really should have had more tact.
Smiler
Again, agree. I think that from the external perspective we know you so naturally fell on the ex=b't'd but as best mate of your bro I suppose his head might not be in a place to make the 'best' decisions at the mo. If you know what's best for you, and know him not opening up won't help, I'd say the distance may help, but I do think it's a) lousy timing and cool.gif very blinkered to not see you as a potential aid during the same grief. At least you're still talking etc, time may tell.

QUOTE (Pixiegoth @ Sep 24 2008, 09:59 AM) *
I don't know whether to wish him on his way (as it's hard for us all) or try and enjoy spending the time with him even though he's wasting away.


When my sister's best friend passed away a few years ago due to various cancers my sister found it easiest to try to carry on enjoying their time until just before the end. It was good for her to spend the time with her friend and go through the emotions with her, good and sad. Her illness lasted a long long time but by sharing, without actually saying goodbye until the end, they came to terms with what was due, let each other know they'd be missed and I think it helped ... hell, about 2 months before she passed I was singing karaoke with her friend on her birthday, she wouldn't stop until she stopped and wouldn't let anyone else and said her goodbyes when they were needed.
I also don't think they actually 'said' goodbye in words, cliche perhaps but ya never know...
Pixelgoth
Thanks guys. I can have a proper chat with you all tomorrow about it. I apologise in advance if I'm a bit teary. I intend to enjoy myself but I'm sometimes a little bit unpredictable with my moods.

I also found out that there is a replacement rail service between Billericay and Shenfield and unless I can get my ex to give me a lift back from Shenfield late tomorrow I won't be able to stay in London late as I don't fancy trying to catch a bus at that time of night that may or may not turn up and get stranded about 30 minutes from home sad.gif
Smiler
QUOTE (Pixiegoth @ Sep 26 2008, 03:06 PM) *
I also found out that there is a replacement rail service between Billericay and Shenfield and unless I can get my ex to give me a lift back from Shenfield late tomorrow I won't be able to stay in London late as I don't fancy trying to catch a bus at that time of night that may or may not turn up and get stranded about 30 minutes from home sad.gif

We're not 100% on timings either as we may have a mates birthday drink sto get to too (but that might not be until late).

Take all as is, lets just chill and deal with whatever as whatever turns up...
Pixelgoth
My bro is going home tomorrow. He really doesn't look like he's dying and his girlfriend said that the oncologist told her that sometimes people can plateau for up to 1 year. We've gone from 1 day to 1 year and I have NO idea which is right. I'm just enjoying the time I have I guess but this is such a (rude swear word) situation!! sad.gif
Pixelgoth
Sadly my brother passed away at 11am yesterday. I'm obviously gutted and can't really talk about it much.

I'm hoping to come to the Matameet on w/e 8th November but will have to wait and see what the arrangements are.
Mata
*hugs*

It would be good to see you on the 8th but we'll understand completely if you can't make it, of course.
Phyllis
Oh, Pixie, I'm so sorry.
Daria
*hugs and love*
MistressAlti
I'm sorry for your loss, Pixie.
Faerieryn
Many hugs in your direction Pixie from both me and Matt. So sorry for your loss
froggle-rock
*hugs* I'm so sorry, sweetheart.
Pixelgoth
Thank you all for your kind words and support.

I still haven't decided what to do this weekend. I'm so up and down with my moods and don't want company sometimes. I will keep you all posted either via this site or via text if I have your number.

Hugs back to you all X
Pixelgoth
The funeral was Monday just gone. It was so monumentally hard sad.gif I didn't expect it not to be though. It was a fitting tribute and it was standing room only at the crematorium. I'll always miss him and my Mum. Life can be so fecking unfair sometimes sad.gif
Phyllis
QUOTE (Pixiegoth @ Nov 13 2008, 02:15 PM) *
Life can be so fecking unfair sometimes sad.gif

It really can be. sad.gif

I wish I had some words of wisdom to help you through this, but I don't. All I can say is I'm still so sorry that this has happened. *hugs*
Pixelgoth
QUOTE (candice @ Nov 13 2008, 02:33 PM) *
QUOTE (Pixiegoth @ Nov 13 2008, 02:15 PM) *
Life can be so fecking unfair sometimes sad.gif

It really can be. sad.gif

I wish I had some words of wisdom to help you through this, but I don't. All I can say is I'm still so sorry that this has happened. *hugs*


It's annoying isn't it that when people need help/words of wisdom/a solution it's always in the toughest moments that they can't be found sad.gif Perhaps that's because the person going through it is the only one who can answer that?!? unsure.gif

*hugs* always help though so thanks *hugs* smile.gif
Mata
Funerals for young people are always the hardest, and in my experience they are also the mosy heavily attended. *hugs*

*Presents voucher for real hugs if you fancy a weekend in Oxford sometime*
Pixelgoth
QUOTE (Mata @ Nov 18 2008, 01:53 PM) *
Funerals for young people are always the hardest, and in my experience they are also the mosy heavily attended. *hugs*

*Presents voucher for real hugs if you fancy a weekend in Oxford sometime*


Thanks. I'll keep that voucher and redeem it soon smile.gif
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.