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voices_in_my_head
So, I don't normally like to talk about my problems with anyone. But in the last month so much has happened...and then in the past few days, so much sh*t has gone down that I feel the need to vent a little. The following is all happening at once:

1)Lady issues. - because of some great genes from my mom, I'm having problems with Ovarian cysts. They usually just mess up the timing of my period a bit - something annoying enough by itself - but currently my period is three weeks late, and I'm having some pretty random/painful cramps in my right ovary. Sadly, the best thing to do in this case is wait it out.

2.I have Strep Throat - A pretty bad case on top of that. My throat started hurting yesterday, and I ignored it until I realised it was bleeding last night. My doctor, whatever dieties that may be bless him, was very quick to diagnose me with strep, and wrote me not only a note for missing school today, but one for work as well.

3.My sister is gonna pop any day now - Her official due date is on March 17th, but lately the baby has been very active and her stomach has "dropped"...meaning she could go into labour any day now.

4.work is less than great. - par usual for the fast food industry, sure, but I'm having so many problems getting along with one of my managers that when I get my schedule for the week lately, I copy hers down too so I can be prepared to deal with her if I'm working with her on any given night. On top of this, tomorrow is "Inspection Day", which I assume means a health inspection. For some reason this fact requires that I be at work tomorrow, strep throat be damned. And, of course, Said manager will be there as well.

5.My boyfriend is (still) six hours away - Silly, maybe, for me to be so worked up about this, but my mother agrees that having him around very visibly lowers my anxiety. On a good note, though, he will (most likely) be able to move back to town a month or so sooner than previously expected.

6.My grandfather is dying. - We found out about a four months ago that my grandfather (on my mother's side) had cancer in his esophagous (I have no idea how to spell it) and his liver. Today, right after I got back from the doctor, my mom got a phonecall from her sister informing her that he is currently in the hospital with a blood clot in his leg and his lungs filling with fluid. She had slowly been coming to terms with his dying soon, but we did not expect something so sudden to occur. She is driving the 12 hours to see him starting tomorrow morning at 4, leaving my sister and grandma to check on me and drive me to work.

7. My back - This may seem petty compared to the other things, but I have somehow hurt my back. We've figured out this much - it's not a knot in the muscle or any of the bones. But whatever it is is putting me in some pretty bad pain, meaning I'm on Hydro a lot of the time currently.

8. Bipolar issues. - Though, thankfully, my bipolar disorder is generally well taken care of with the medicine I have been given, due to the extremely out-of-wack horomones and other things going on, I've been having a hard time with it again.

9.Drama... - and, finally, though this is not something going on currently, a girl whom my family had taken in and allowed to live with us pretty much stabbed us all in the back. She had been lying about just about everything - from her helping out around the house (though, admittedly, we had figured out that she wasn't) to the fact that she was "working on" getting her own car. She had been blowing all of her money on clothes and such, borrowing my mom's truck, and in general being very disrespectful. Her stay with us ended with her screaming at my sister, and then calling the cops claiming that my sister had punched her in the face. (Recall, my sister is 9 months pregnant.) My whole family was really torn apart that our good efforts had been put to waste, but I'm feeling extremely guilty about it, as I am the one who asked if she could stay in the first place.

And...well yeah. I know that, in most of these cases, there is really nothing that is in my control. But I just needed a place to vent a little (and I know y'all wouldn't mind helping by just listening) and maybe, if you're the praying type, please pray for my grandpa and my mom. I don't know what else to do.

Thanks,
-Chelsey
SPEAKERfortheLOST
You know how there comes a time in every person's life that defines how they are? You're there.

If you can but find the strength to stand up and tell the world to "f*ck off!" and take control of where you are, you will be golden.

The world is your oyster, you just have to make it yours.
Daria
QUOTE
1)Lady issues. - because of some great genes from my mom, I'm having problems with Ovarian cysts. They usually just mess up the timing of my period a bit - something annoying enough by itself - but currently my period is three weeks late, and I'm having some pretty random/painful cramps in my right ovary. Sadly, the best thing to do in this case is wait it out.


Hey kiddo, if you ever want to chat about that stuff then hit me up. My gynae and doctor currently think that I don't have PCOS per se, but I do have polycystic ovaries and have just been released from hospital (for the fifth time) after being admitted with horrible abdominal pain in the area of my right ovary. Anyway, long story short, I know what you're going through and have tips/ advice/ drug names that could help if you need it smile.gif

Oh, same thing goes for issue number the five. Monts lives 8 to 10 hours away by train, 11 hours by car.

*hugs*
Life throws at you only what you can deal with. You can get through all this, even if it seems to be a bit much at times.
Pikasyuu
Out of curiosity and our thing in common here, what do you take for bipolar?
voices_in_my_head
Speaker - Thanks. Which is kinda a lame response to such great advice, but know that I took it to heart. smile.gif

Daria - I may just take you up on that offer. Depends on how this all plays out over the next few days.

Syuu - I'm on 100mg of Setraline (A generic for Zoloft) and 50mg of Seroquil once a day. I also have a perscription for .5mg Alaprozolam, which is a generic for Xanax. If you ever consider switching to Seroquil, I'll warn you that though it has worked wonders for me, a friend of mine took it for awhile and had some pretty crazy side-effects.

Update: My manager is the best person in the world, and told me not to come into work yesterday if my strep was so bad, as this would NOT help our Health Inspection. Thanks partially to my ill self not being there, we are now the Top resturaunt in the franchise.
My sister's doctor said that it looks like she won't have the baby at least until her due date on the 16th.
My grandpa is doing very, very poorly. There are blot clots in both of his legs that are entirely blocking his main veins, and he is having a very hard time breathing. Since spring break starts Monday, I'm leaving with my mom around 5am tomorrow morning to make the 12 hour drive to see him.
My strep, though still present, has cleared up significantly.

Thanks for the responses, guys.
Miss-Smiley
Hello honey
I have also been feeling when it rains it pours these days! Life is pretty tough for me too. I feel I can relate to some of what your going through.

1. Have you seen a gyneacologist about the cyst? I hope it goes away itself it but if not get an ultrasound it may be pcos. Some medication can be precribed to help or in some cases it needs to be removed surgically but I hope yor cyst goes quickly.

2. Glad your throat is better! Yey! Hope it goes away quickly soon.

3. Congratulations is that the first time your going to be an aunty? I love being an aunty its so much fun. Enjoy and I hope everything goes well with the delivery for your sister. That is something positive to cheer all of your family up!

4. So good you never had to go work and the insprection went fab.

5. Time flys and hopefully soon your you be reunited with your bf.

6. My dad has cancer for 5 years or more now. Hes got CLL lukeamia and he started chemotherapy in January and hes been in hospital in and out a lot since. Hes currently in hospital since the 15th Febraury. Hes got so ill all of a sudden its so upsetting and worrying. So I know what your going through. They still are not sure whats wrong with him. All the tests are coming back clear but hes got some sort of serious infection. The latest medication effected kidneys and dad also got a lot of fluid in lungs so hes having difficult breathing and needs o2 these days sometimes. It's so scary seeing my dad like this. Dr also say we can lose my dad but God can do anything so I keep praying so much. Last few days my dads a bit better. My mum spends most her time with my dad. I got other stressing factors going on too. Life is pretty tough for me. But god dont lay more then you can bear. And honey I will pray so much for you and family.

7. Aww hope the back gets better soon with hydro but perhaps try get some psysiotherapy for it?

8. Hopefully things will calm down soon and your biopolar will be better soon. I am praying for you lots.

9. Had a similar issue with my cousin. Too long to explain but its sad and hurtful when those who you love most hurt you the most and don't feel any shame in it. Ok cousin had a lot going on but me and family did so much and shes been so ungrateful and rude and I cannot believe what wrote about me and family in her diary. She was staying her for many months too. Anyways enough about that but I have experienced something along those lines not long ago and I totally understand what it feels like. It is so hurtful when people you help so much do that for you. *Huggles*

I am really religious so will pray lots for you and your family. I doubt this was of any help. Pray for my dad too.

Im glad things are a bit better and may they keep improving. I am sorry if I never really helped but I just wanted to post and tell you honey I can understand some of the things your going through.

Love and huggles and prayers,

Miss-Smiley x
Miss-Smiley
I am praying for a miracle for your grandad, God can do anything I believe. X
voices_in_my_head
Thanks. smile.gif
It's my first time as an aunt, and I'm super excited about it.

My grandpa is doing much better already - his breathing is much, much better than it was a few days ago. They're currently making arrangements for him to go to a nursing home on hospice care.
Silver Star Angel of Da Towers
This all seems like a lot to take in at one time. I admire your courage to talk about it. So many people elect to sit back and let life overwhelm them. I suggest doing what you're doing-- keep opening up about it. It'll be somewhat therapeutic.
Miss-Smiley
Yey so glad to hear your grandpa is doing better. My dad is also doing much better in general and with breathing as well. I hope my dad comes home soon I miss him. It's shocking to see my dad like this- he neds help all the time and few weeks ago he was fine.
I understand. I was so excited when I become an aunt the first time. Now I am blessed with 4 lovely cuties to be a aunt too! They are so precious to me, especially because the syndrome I have. They help me cope and stay happy! biggrin.gif
Stay strong, keep your faith and hope up and keep praying!
Love and huggles,
Miss- Smiley x
voices_in_my_head
It's good to hear that your dad is doing better! My grandad is feeling even better with each day, to the point that he's back to teasing me/my cousins/ the nursing staff as usual. (It's not a bad thing - it's a hella good sign)

Even though he's showing so much improvement, the signs of him living any longer than just a few months are very, very weak. However, he's said many times that he's come to terms with it and that he's okay with dying. And I can tell that he really means it.

So, I guess all of that is at least kinda-sorta worked out...kinda. ish.
craziness
Hello,
I am really sorry to hear all of that is happening to you at once. I wish that there were something I could say that could make it all better, I know you are in a lot of physical pain/discomfort and emotional trauma on top of that. Just letting you know someone understands. *hugs*
vicrawr
I'm in the same boat with a grandmother. I'm sorry to hear that. Have you told him it's okay for him to go?
Mata
It's odd, how the balance seems to work itself out: babies come along as the older generation departs. Apparently my grandfather on my father's side lived for about three months after I was born. My parents say that he hung on to meet me. It's sad that I never knew him - he was an artist and I would have loved to have learnt from him, but that's just the way things are with life.

That's a long list of challenging issues, but maybe writing them out like that helps because it gives you a way of laying it all out. Each thing can be handled, to one degree or another, and one day at a time. Patience always has helped me, just waiting for life to give an answer or for my feelings to become more controlled.

It sounds like you're handling it all really well! It might not feel like that to you, but you are seeing the issues and your writing shows that you understand that some of the challenges can be faced, others must be endured, and a few are going to lead somewhere better (such as being an auntie).

I'm glad to hear that a few of the problems have passed or lessened a little for the moment. I hope that the strength you found to get through this stays with you for the future. *hugs*
Moosh
Glad to hear your grandfather's doing better. My grandmother died last week, I know how hard it is when you know someone's not got long left, but you don't want it to end. As other's have said, you know where I am if you want to talk about anything.
Mata
My condolendes CM. I'm guessing from what you've written that it was expected?
voices_in_my_head
Irish: my mom has told him that on behalf of both of us, because I think it would break his heart hearing it from me. I'm still a little smiling baby in his eyes.

CM/Irish: I'm sorry to hear about it in both cases, but at the same time it is oddly comforting to know other people are going through the same thing, no matter how many miles away. And you hit the nail on the head, James. I *know* he's going to die soon, he knows he's going to die soon, but even though dying would free him from suffering, I still wish I could have my grandpa around for my whole life. But, I know I can't...

Crazi: thanks, like I said above, just knowing that someone read about all of my sh** going on, and at least breifly sympathised, helps immensely.

Mata: I'm hoping my grandpa at least lives long enough to know that my sister's baby has been born. He's so happy knowing he'll be a great-great grandpa, and I just want him to experience the joy of it, if only for a day or two.

there is a lot going on right now, and i'm just now calming down after today. They, FINALLY, moved my grandpa from the hospital to the nursing home. However, after constantly assuring us that they would have an extra long bed for him (He's a very, very tall man standing at 6'4") and his entire room looking nice and everything for him, he arrives to a bed that his feet hang off of and the dingiest room I have ever seen in my life. Cracked floor tiles, dirt, water stains on the ceiling, and worst of all, it was about 90 degrees inside there - not only uncomfortable as hell, but very unsanitary. Then, the hospice failed to deliver his morphine and other medicines to the nursing home...luckily, he has a few meds of his from home.
but this whole thing upset me and my mother so much that I had to sit in the car for 40 minutes calming down and came back to my mom crying.
but yes.
long day.
Mata
The absolute buggers. *hugs*
Moosh
QUOTE (Mata @ Mar 16 2010, 12:47 AM) *
My condolendes CM. I'm guessing from what you've written that it was expected?

Thanks Mata. It was expected yes, she actually lived about a week longer than the doctors said she would. She had cancer in her throat, we'd known about it for about 6 months, and there wasn't really anything they could do. To be honest I'm glad in a way it wasn't as drawn out as it could have been. She lived pretty normally until the last two weeks or so, and she didn't suffer much, which is about as good as it gets when you've got a terminal cancer.

QUOTE (voices_in_my_head @ Mar 16 2010, 03:51 AM) *
CM/Irish: I'm sorry to hear about it in both cases, but at the same time it is oddly comforting to know other people are going through the same thing, no matter how many miles away. And you hit the nail on the head, James. I *know* he's going to die soon, he knows he's going to die soon, but even though dying would free him from suffering, I still wish I could have my grandpa around for my whole life. But, I know I can't...

I think all you can do is try and spend as much time with him as you can, which from the sounds of it you are doing. *hugs*
voices_in_my_head
just another quick update while I'm at the computer -

I didn't go to the nursing home today, and instead opted to sleep in a bit (okay, a lot...I slept until two this afternoon.)

The nursing home was, apparently, late giving Paw his medicine today, and they have no access to morphine or anything else that would be admisitered to him via IV drip normally. So...as of right now, we don't know if we're going to be transferring him to a different nursing home or not. Regardless, though, my mom and I are leaving to go back home tomorrow morning. We can't help anymore being down here than we can nine hours away at home, it seems.

My sister went to the doctor today (today being her official due date) and the doctor said that they'll just have to induce her into labour at 3 on Saturday, meaning I will officially be an auntie by sunday. smile.gif
voices_in_my_head
Alright, things are already looking up, a little.

Strep is long-gone.
Work has been giving me more hours than usual, and I'm getting along better with the previously mentioned manager of doom. We even joked around with each-other today. She has, apparently, had whatever was stuck up her a** removed.
My sister had her baby at 9pm last night! she weighed 7lbs, 30z, and was 20 inches long. She is probably the most chilled-out baby I have ever seen. She didn't cry once.

I don't have any news on my grandpa right now, so I'm assuming this means that everything is going well...or as well as it can given the situation.

Now, I am just waiting to graduate highschool (!!!) and for my boyfriend to move back - I really believe having him around will help lower my stress significantly. smile.gif
vicrawr
I am extremely glad to hear all of that.
Mata
It sounds like things are going as well as each thing can be going. I'm very happy for you smile.gif
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