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Yesterday I was approved for a mortgage. The terms for professionals brought to the Netherlands are so ridiculously good that I would be insane not to buy over here, but nonetheless this is still a very Big Life Choice thingy that grown ups do.

I've been running this site for a decade (I really should commemorate this somehow when I get the time), and so naturally I've changed a fair bit. I've got my PhD, nearly learned to drive, I'm in a position of authority, I've moved to a different country, I've written a novel (though not got it published)... It's been a busy ten years and I could have sworn I was supposed to be a little childish, but looking at that list it seems I've done quite a lot of grown up things.

What have you done in the last decade, specifically what things are supposed to suggest you're now a grown up?
Cath Sparrow
Not a damn thing.....
Everything has changed. March 2001 was when my dad left, I was 12 going on 13 and ... yeah.
Currently I am in my third year of my degree, recovering from having a laparoscopy and laz0rs in my belly, living in the other end of the country. I'm in two very happy relationships (somewhere between polyamory and applied anarchism), and I have realised in these last ten years that there is no such thing as being an adult. Yeah, you do things that you wouldn't have had to worry about when you're younger, but if anyone tells you that there is a specific thing you should do or be or think or say to be an adult, they're lying. Or they are scared of being grown up themselves that they think they should act in a certain way and telling everyone else to is like an affirmation or a mantra.

Oh! Lame and cheesy thing that suggests I've grown up:
I've learnt to accept and love myself for what I am in the present.
In other words: smile.gif

Cath - you've got a tonne of friends who love you loads, so that's a definite step further than many grown ups manage, I suspect.

I think that my inner teenager would be very pleased with where I've reached so far, but I'm not sure if that's something to be proud of or concerned about! Meh, life is fun, and that's the important bit.

Laura said something to me last year, around the time when I was leaving Oxford. I was feeling very sad because I had enjoyed living with Matt and that time was coming to an end. I said to her that I probably wouldn't ever live with him again, and she simply said 'why not?'. Somehow I'd had locked in my head that people get into relationships and then live by themselves forever, but her question jolted me into asking why? Why should that be the thing I do, just because it's what normally happens? It was a moment that made me love her even more.
QUOTE (Mata @ May 14 2011, 12:40 PM) *
In other words: smile.gif

I love that, that's awesome. Reminds me of the quote: "Getting old is inevitable, growing up is optional"
what didn't happen?
i met and lost one of the most loved, influential and important people in my life, my dad died, my uncle died, i had a few boyfriends, i finished high school, i parted ways with decade-long friends, i went to cosmetology school, i worked two jobs..basically every and anything somebody growing up goes through. :D
Since 2001 I have done the following
1) Finished my degree and managed to get a good grade whilst working 37 hours a week
2) Met the love of my life
3) Qualified as a teacher and moved back to my home town.
4) Got in and out of a very troubled relationship
5) Took 5 years to realise he was the love of my life
6) Bought a house
7) Got married
8) Somehow ended up in a fairly responsible job
9) Learned to drive and bought a car
10) Had a baby
11) Moved into rented accomodation because the stupid economy is evil and stupid

It really scares me when I look at this list as, not only am I kind of an adult (NEVER a grown up!) but I am also a fairly stable and sensible adult. Removing my hobbies of rambling on the internet and hitting people with latex weapons I appear to be quite a "normal" (gah I hate that word- I need to spit) sort of person. I am the sort of person that my daughter's friends' parents will be happy for them to hang out with. I will be deemed as the responsible parent who takes them to their first concert or gets the phone call at 2 in the morning "can you come and pick us up from <insert vague middle of nowhere place here> we haven't got the cash for a taxi home and you won't get too angry. UNTIL said parents find out about the twatting with latex sticks. THEN I get relegated to the "odd" pile. Perhaps I should answer the door carrying a rubber sword...
QUOTE (Faerieryn @ May 15 2011, 10:44 AM) *
Since 2001 I have done the following
6) Bought a house
7) Got married
10) Had a baby

That's about as grown up as things get! smile.gif It is necessary that you behave in silly and "odd" ways, to balance things out! Clutch that rubber sword with vigour! biggrin.gif
Lurker in the Park
Erm, last ten years...

Finished my A levels,
Went to uni,
Met a girl,
Went to Iceland (twice)
Left uni having been dragged up to a 2:1 by my friends,
Moved to London,
Worked for the BBC,
Lost girl,
Walked Hadrians Wall,
Became a kayak coach,
Spent far too much money paying other people's mortgages,
Read a lot of books,
Played a lot of pool.

And I still have the feeling that my brain hasn't really progressed beyond the age of twenty and that I'd rather still be at uni.

Ryn, just pick them up with the rubber sword on the parcel shelf. Hopefully they won't get the wrong train again then smile.gif
Oh man, listing stuff.
My dad left
I finished highschool
Got told I was the bastard child
I fell in love
I finished my a-levels
I moved to Paris
I fell in love again
I moved to London
[insert here a couple of years of playing at being a grown up with a house, cats, a salaried job, business meetings and cabs]
Met some incredible people
Got arrested (with the above)
Fell in love but didn't pay attention to it
Dealt with being the bastard child
Got told I could never have kids
I moved to Scotland and started my degree
Started going to hospital every now and again for shits and giggles (and abdominal pain)
Woke up and let go of fear
Fell out of love and realised some important things about myself and my sexuality
Listened to being in love
Fell in love with someone else as well
Realised that all the theory about loving more than one person wasn't just theory
Got cut open and diagnosed
Listened to The Mountain Goats

And that brings us up to this morning. Add in some deaths, drugs, shouting, crying, and you have the last decade.

Mata, that cartoon is exactly it. I remember first living with Monty in his student house, and we filled the egg tray in the fridge with kinder eggs.

Ten years ago at this time, I was planning my first wedding. It's a bit terrifying to think about, really. That seems like a different life. Was it really me who did that? My childhood years still seem like me when I look back, but the time just after I graduated high school...nope. I don't know that girl who married too young and let herself be bossed around by a cruel man. Which is a good thing, I suppose.

Anyway, let's see. In the past ten years, I...

Got married (obviously).
Learned that my mother was right about some of those annoying "When you're older, you'll understand" type things...
And wrong about others.
Dealt with a scary, life-threatening situation.
Failed at something important in a way that can only be described as (as much as I hate the overuse of the word) epic.
Got divorced.
Realised I was a million times happier, healthier, and just generally better after the divorce.
Fell in love with the right guy.
Stopped bickering with my sisters and became friends with them.
Got my degree.
Moved to a new country.
Got re-married.

Ste and I once had a plan to have a ball pit inspired by that xkcd comic. If we didn't need a guest bed, it'd so happen. As it is, we do things like run outside at 2:00 AM to make snow angels or have nerf wars. One of my favourite memories of the past couple of years involves the two us getting caught in a downpour, buying umbrellas to stay dry, and then getting completely soaked anyway because we ended up stomping in puddles and splashing each other on the way home. happy.gif I don't think I'll ever be so grown up that I'll want to stop doing that sort of stuff.
Cath Sparrow
Cand convert the guest room any how just leave the bed in it. It'll be fine. tongue.gif
good question, well here it goes:

lol I started writing.. saw it was very depressing, so now I'll try and write the more positive things:

Discovered that I was bi-sexual
First love, with a German exchange student
first girlfriend
survived my teenage years
got accepted at a school and skipped a year
got rid of an ex boyfriend who made me feel rather sad
made my mother proud
got over my fathers mistakes (somewhat)
fought a lot of my depression things
found amazing love
got engaged
got diploma
got accepted at the awesome school where I met Mata
got out of the engagement
new adventure finding myself and probably moving to another country smile.gif

A lot has happened in the past ten years, 80% was very sad, mainly and very important, I became a stronger
person. I am very looking forward on the next ten years smile.gif

QUOTE (Phyllis @ May 17 2011, 02:22 PM) *
I don't think I'll ever be so grown up that I'll want to stop doing that sort of stuff.

Good on you smile.gif
Can I make the argument that I'm less grown up now than 10 years ago?

10 years ago I was living with a long term friend, waiting for the talk about marriage and dreaming of possible children. We were buying a house and talking about retirement savings.
I'm now on my own and as happy. Rental place where I could probably be packed up to go in a mere few days.
A lot less responsible but tongue.gif still thinking that I should have more put aside for old age.

Ah well, let's see what the next 10 bring. smile.gif
Ten years ago I was wandering around with both eyes closed, bumping into walls!

I tend to have grown-up situations which, thankfully, pass and let me have my grasse-matinée and general antickery. One was the night before I left for uni. I was hosting a dinner party for all the board members in the community group I led, packing in between grilling tilapia and serving white wine. I distinctly remember coming out to the table with a salad bowl thinking WHAT THE EFF HAPPENED. I lost my passport that night and had to replace it at the border, thumping immigration forms on the counter and producing something akin to French as I desperately pled admittance to this chilly, beautiful city. That 24-hour period was the most terrible period of adultness I've ever had.

The main things:
I moved to Canada for school and figured out a lot of stuff about immigration and visas, phone bills and taxes and border control. I learned the cheapest way to get to NY (rideshare...or bicycle) and the best dumpster in Montreal and the easiest way to earn money with no work permit (medical research).
I managed to get approval for the study program I'd dreamed of, and finally work in fields I really like, like making tasty food and reading stuff in Arabic and learning about drugs. I learned, with the help of some books and some wonderful/absurd people, 3 languages.
I've had some really improbable and terrific relationships. I've run around the world more than I deserve. I've been to my first and tenth protest. Some people put words I wrote in their magazines.
I lost a lot of fear and gained a lot of love and got reminded when I needed to that I don't actually know much of anything (ka-pow! love time! heartbreak! shave your head and go to Spain!) and holy christ but I can't wait for the next ten.
I've been finding this topic really fun and trying to figure out how to contribute to it without sounding too bitter, or too yay go me. When I think about the last ten years and what's to come, I seem to be in one of the two mindsets.

On the surface it looks like nothing has changed and I'm in exactly the same spot I was ten years ago. Eleven years ago I broke up with my boyfriend I had been with for three years and moved to Tennessee to be with, moved back home to California to live with my mom and try to pull my life together. I decided to do this by working and going back to school, so ten years ago I was living at home with my mom, working in as an assistant manager in a music store and going to school on my days off or at night. Ten years later, I am living at home with my mom, have no job and am going to school online. Well I was going to school online, the semester just ended and I'm not going back to that school. So generally it looks the same.

However, I feel like I've changed so much in the last ten years. I've earned two degrees and am working toward a third one. I left my retail life behind to dedicate myself to my schoolwork so that hopefully I when I finish my Master's degree I have a graphic design portfolio strong enough to get a job and/or be able to teach. I've gotten over my fear of flying which made me able to take multiple trips to England and I am moving there in a couple of months. I've gotten through my party every weekend faze of life and now seem to be a bit of a hermit, which is something I'm not overly keen on, but hopefully will change. I doubt I'll get back to that rotating weekend social calendar of bar hopping or keggers, but I would like to be more social.

On one hand I feel much more grown up mentally now than I was ten years ago, but on the other hand I feel like even more of a child. I think part of that has to do with the fact that I'm tired of living at home with my mom and having to abide by her rules which seem to get more strict the older I get, so that really makes me feel like a child. I do think though that I have hit that point a few times that Cand talked about about understanding things now that I'm older. That's a funny realization to have.

Hopefully the next 10 will hold a career and a home of my own for me and looking forward to that vs. having my own apartment so I can have parties I think is one of the most surprising changes. lol
Sir Psycho Sexy
Not a whole helluva lot of merit. I don't think I've even grown any taller in the last 10 years and that was what I was so good at for the first chunk of my life.... hrmm...

Bimbled through my a-levels
Dabbled with a degree
Moved back home (for noble reasons)
Got stuck
Worked in a pub...twice
Worked in a shop
Run said shop
Qualified as an electrician
Failed at making any relationship stick
Still living at home

That said, I have also grown more comfortable in my own skin and have a definite direction to my life now. I'm working a fun job for good money which is making a huge difference already. On top of that, my niece and nephew are my biggest fans. Or they just miss me because I'm away from home so much lately.
QUOTE (LoLo @ May 19 2011, 09:24 PM) *
I've been finding this topic really fun and trying to figure out how to contribute to it without sounding too bitter, or too yay go me. When I think about the last ten years and what's to come, I seem to be in one of the two mindsets.

Ditto. I keep writing a reply, and then deciding I am being too negative, and scrapping it. Yet I feel that the negative things that happened have been pretty important, so I should keep them in. Then I just give up for another day smile.gif
Well 10 years ago I was 9.

So, i went through puberty. And also became a real person, you know? Instead of being my parents' child, I became someone with my own opinions bla bla bla.
I bought an umbrella.

Some other stuff happened I guess but nothing particularly grown up, other than like...working in an office and telling people what to do. I feel like I'm in a more transitional stage of my life at the moment.

Happy with my umbrella though.
QUOTE (CrazyFooIAintGettinOnNoPlane @ May 20 2011, 06:39 PM) *
I bought an umbrella.

I bought one too! Then, last week, I left it at my friends' flat when I moved home :/

I no longer have an umbrella.
Well, I actually went ahead and bought a house.

It comes with a free rubber chicken, so that's okay then.
Hey, guess what I bought today? An IRON!

I'm going to try to persuade my sister to iron my clothes for me when she comes to visit.

Also, semi-related:
It's okay to iron as long as you don't actually plan to use it. I have one like that too.
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