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Pikasyuu
*This could also branch off into 'in the overweight' as they seem like another group who aren't taken seriously when huge eating/body view disorders take hold and show obvious symptoms.

Here's another topic I wasn't quite sure existed and yes it was v irresponsible of me not to look. Please don't take away my shiny admin naginata.

Finally, most people have come to terms with the idea that it isn't cute to ridicule a person's weight if they're overweight. I say 'if they're overweight' because it's still totally socially acceptable to tell a thinner person to eat more, are they anorexic, have a cheeseburger and so on and so forth. Growing up in an environment where literally everybody besides my mother and a few close members of my immediate family mentioned or made fun of my weight somehow (I am very lucky to have never experienced this as an adult), it's nice to see that people are a little more sensitive to the concept that they sound so f*cking stupid picking on fat people. That said, there's still an enormous (lol) stigma in the media, fashion, television, books, life on anybody overweight. We've seen the supermodel in a fatsuit segments, right? Most of these idiots cover it up by saying something like, I'm concerned about their health! Which is ridiculous for about a billion reasons, all of which I'm sure you can figure out. Because no, you're not fooling anybody. You're not trembling in fear for the clogged arteries you assume this 10-400lb overweight person may be suffering from, you hate the idea that someone who isn't traditionally attractive has let themselves go* and doesn't care what you think*.

*most people that fall into the 'But their health!' category think that anybody who is above 3% body fat has gotten that way because they sat on a couch and stuffed cheezits into their mouths while watching Roseanne for years and years. I'm sure this has happened, but blanket assumptions etc etc. And how dare you not care what they think, they took a shower this morning just for you!

Now, most of the ongoing war of fat acceptance vs what about the diabetes* is aimed at women and little girls in general. What will Susie think growing up with images of ribs on her television? Probably that she should achieve that beauty standard, as all women are conditioned to think, so that not one of us has gone through life never thinking a single negative thing about our bodies. Even the confident women had to make the choice to be confident, because they certainly aren't taught to be so by what surrounds them. Confidence is delicious and addictive, but some of us have to climb a mountain to get there.

*yes, being overweight may present health risks. but guess whose business that is? the business of that individual! this is a foreign concept to many.

But what about the men? Please, no feminist jokes, I don't think an entire gender's potential body issues deserve to be ignored/ridiculed simply because they are the privileged party and (this is up for debate too) responsible for inflicting such body image issues on the populace. Lots of men suffer from anorexia/bulimia/body dysmorphic disorder. If it's hard for a woman to open up about her own body and how she feels about it/whether or not she's hurting herself, how much harder is it for someone thought to be on the opposite side of that? Talking about my own problems with bulimia was incredibly difficult and embarrassing and I still feel shame even mentioning it here - but you have to force yourself to talk about these things with people you trust to get anywhere (in my case, far, far away from it). I can't even IMAGINE if I had the stigma of being male on top of it. Silly, men are all confident, even the overweight ones! They score young attractive ladies no matter what they look like and give zero f*cks for their whole lives. This is the idea that men are raised with, which falls into that big huge gender role pool. In fact, there have been plenty of deaths in males because of anorexia/bulimia and I'm willing to bet that an incredibly low percentage of them even go reported. I've heard of families turning a blind eye to obvious symptoms presenting themselves because, hey, it's a boy, they don't do that!

As usual, I don't have a particular direction for this thread to go in, I just think it's an interesting topic for discussion and broad enough for people to discuss anything that falls under the weight category. Weight has certainly been talked about here, but like I said, the more time goes on, the more opinions change, the more new points can be made etc.
BigMistake
While I might not have Anorexia/Bulimia/Body Dismorphia, I am overweight so I can relate at least a little bit to your situation. I have the bad luck of being in a somewhat opposite situation when it comes to mentioning/making fun of my weight though. I'm not ridiculously overweight, but you can clearly see that I like to eat and I don't work out (which is something I'm changing, ha ha!). For some reason acquaintances/strangers/etc never seem to mention/focus on it, but my family (as in parents, brother, sister) likes to do exactly that, which doesn't really help. I'm not sure if this proves anything, but if I compare myself with my sister (who could be considered obese), I get pretty much all the shit thrown at me. So, yeah, it sucks.
Yannick
This picture came up in my newsfeed a few days ago. Question for the guys. Do you feel compelled to look like the guy on the right? Maybe guys actually do have it harder, and we women are too tied up in our "Oh noes, can't get fat" to notice.
Pikasyuu
that picture is absof*ckinglutely ridiculous for the female side. lololol

the caption, i mean. she's pretty hot.

we also discussed in irc today whether or not muscles on men were necessarily desirable. every female who responded said no. i don't mind some toning, but the kind of guy who spends his life in the gym building an eighty pack just doesn't do it for me.
Hobbes
I think it is considered more "socially acceptable" for a man to be over/underweight, than for a woman. Yes, I am making sweeping statements here, but I'd say that a man's weight is generally less scrutinised than a woman's. At least in terms of general society and the media, etc.

However, I would say that the pressure on men to conform to a particular image is definitely increasing. It's nowhere near the level that women have endured, but it's certainly heading in that direction.
Pikasyuu
it is absolutely more acceptable - but what baffles me is that it's like society is saying, nobody cares if you're fat, man, stop crying about it because you're not allowed to have body image issues. men can get away with much more appearance wise and what they're put through is nowhere near the level of what women are, but the cost of that seems to be being dismissed or made fun of if you exhibit similar self esteem issues.
Mata
I definitely work hard at staying slim. The weird thing is that I've always felt that I could do with toning up a bit, but recently I saw a photo of myself aged 19 and I had a six pack... So how come I thought that I wasn't fit enough? At that age I could run for 45 minutes and not even feel it the next day. These days I'm 3 stone heavier than I was then (that's around 19kg to metric people), but it turns out I must have been ridiculously underweight... And yet I didn't think I was.

I know that the new weight is mostly muscle, but I do some exercise probably five days a week and I eat very healthily (probably of a lower calorie intake than I should) and this keeps my weight stable in the low-ish side of healthy for my height.

I have wondered if it's because I fancy fit guys that I've always been so keen to stay fit? I wouldn't want to look at myself in the mirror too often and wonder how people could find me attractive (of course, we all have days like that sometimes, but I try to keep the idea not too far a stretch of the imagination). I'd almost like to think that really is the case, but I suspect that culture is just increasingly pushing men to have body confidence issues as much as it has done for women.

And while I think the body of that guy in Yannick's photo looks like he really has a very boring life, I've got to admit that I do find a tight stomach and good definition to be sexy. I'd rather go for the James Masters (Spike in Buffy) style of guy than the ridiculously over-buff guy in the photo, but that still requires a lot of training, a lot of cardio, and probably eating bugger all... And yet, I'd quite like to have a body like that, even though I know that I don't really have the build for it or the time to work out that much in the ways neccessary to get it. I am sometimes a bit disappointed in myself for thinking like that, as an intelligent guy in his thirties I really should know better, and I'm pretty happy with where I am physically, but I always feel like I could do more.

It's insidious stuff, for both women and men, and I don't think there's any way to live in modern society and be able to completely avoid it.
Hobbes
I'm certainly unhappy with the way I look, but I also don't really have any great wish to go so far as to be ridiculously super-toned. The necessary work/time/money involved to achieve it, and then maintain it would probably remove any time for doing something fun. However, I would very much like to slimmer and fitter.

And I have done it a couple of times. But not held it for very long.

But yes, I feel some pressure to look different to how I look.
BigMistake
Speaking of working hard, I finally joined a gym again. Woopie!
Mata
My top tip at the moment is to cook dinner and eat while watching a film. After I finish eating I do weights for the rest of the film. I've been doing that four or five times a week for the last couple of weeks and feel better for it already. I get bored if I'm not multi-tasking while watching a movie, but I've got a whole list of things I've been meaning to catch up on, and I tend to miss bits of the plot if I'm not paying enough attention, so this way I get to watch things I enjoy and still stay active... Although exercising straight after eating isn't such a great plan so I have to take it reasonably easy and stick to strength training rather than more cardio-ish exercises for the first hour.
Hobbes
QUOTE (Mata @ Oct 4 2012, 11:26 AM) *
.. I do weights for the rest of the film. I've been doing that four or five times a week for the last couple of weeks and feel better for it already.


Pretty much the same as what I did last year. I would put on a DVD and then exercise whilst watching it (weights, sit-ups, press-ups, running on the spot, etc.). It meant that I wasn't going to get bored of doing the exercises because the DVD was keeping me entertained, and also meant that I could keep track of how long I was doing them for, since I was often doing them through three episodes of Friends, or a couple of episodes of Lost wink.gif
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