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Jonman
QUOTE (trunks_girl26 @ Aug 21 2005, 04:00 AM)
Dear Jonman,

What should one do when one fancies a manwhore (as more than sex)?

yours in manwhore confusion,

Ange
*


Dunno. Never been in that situation meself. Does the fact that your manwhore is a manwhore matter?
trunks_girl26
QUOTE (Jonman @ Aug 21 2005, 08:43 PM)
QUOTE (trunks_girl26 @ Aug 21 2005, 04:00 AM)
Dear Jonman,

What should one do when one fancies a manwhore (as more than sex)?

yours in manwhore confusion,

Ange
*


Dunno. Never been in that situation meself. Does the fact that your manwhore is a manwhore matter?
*



Possibly, as he's currently manwhoring other people as well as me. dry.gif
Jonman
QUOTE (trunks_girl26 @ Aug 22 2005, 12:07 AM)
QUOTE (Jonman @ Aug 21 2005, 08:43 PM)
QUOTE (trunks_girl26 @ Aug 21 2005, 04:00 AM)
Dear Jonman,

What should one do when one fancies a manwhore (as more than sex)?

yours in manwhore confusion,

Ange
*


Dunno. Never been in that situation meself. Does the fact that your manwhore is a manwhore matter?
*



Possibly, as he's currently manwhoring other people as well as me. dry.gif
*



Well, you either

( a ) : ignore the manwhoring

...or...

( b ): stop him manwhoring

...or...

( c ): ignore the manwhore


Option A is probably the least likely - if the manwhoring is bothering you now, it's unlikely to magically stop bothering you. Option B is probably the most difficult. Can't change a leopord's spots and all that (not even with Clearasil). Option C is by far and away the most obvious.

Which you choose is up to you - how much of a fancy fo you have? How much of a manwhore is he (i.e. sleeps around a bit, or actually has sex with strangers for money)?
Snugglebum the Destroyer
Dear Jonman,

Why do evil geniuses always have a Plan B? I mean, if they were that damn smart wouldn't Plan A have worked?

Regards

Befuzzled Snugglebum
Pikasyuu
Dear Jonman -
Since Dr. Phil is obviously full of crap, what do you think keeps a relationship working?

- Tired of hearing "Honesty!"
Jonman
QUOTE (Snugglebum the Destroyer @ Sep 27 2005, 11:33 PM)
Dear Jonman,

Why do evil geniuses always have a Plan B?  I mean, if they were that damn smart wouldn't Plan A have worked?

Regards

Befuzzled Snugglebum
*


Look at this this way. If they didn't have a Plan B, they'd hardly qualify as geniuses (genii?), now, would they?

As a measure of my intellect, I'm currently scheduling Plan Q. BWAHAHAHA.
Jonman
QUOTE (syuu @ Sep 27 2005, 11:39 PM)
Dear Jonman -
Since Dr. Phil is obviously full of crap, what do you think keeps a relationship working?

- Tired of hearing "Honesty!"
*


Tough. Because that's it. I suppose strictly speaking, it doesn't so much keep a relationship working, but it can stop it from failing. Because if you're having problems with a relationship, they're not just going to fix themselves. That's why you need to be honest, not just with your partner, but with yourself too.

Honesty, respect and love are the key three things. If you're in a relationship that's missing one or more, you ought to know about it. That oddly unsettling sensation that something's not quite right?

[EDIT] Thought of some more while hitting some strangers during a Muay-Thai class. I have ideas at the oddest times.

Here's some other things I thought of:

Compassion and empathy for your partner. Whatever they're going through, good or bad, if you can empathise with them, you can share in the joy together, or cope with the pain together.

The ability to compromise. This leads off being able to empathise - if they have a differing point of view, it requires empathy to be able to see the issue from their point of view, and therefore understand where they're coming from. Which then allows you to evaluate which one of you is really right, and if it's them, to capitulate gracefully and compromise. I mean really, how much of the 'relationship problem' shows like Dr Phil are based around endless couples who's main failing is the inability to empathise, compromise and communicate.

Which leads me onto communication. Ties in with all of the above. Not only the ability to talk and be understood (not as common as you might think - see the above point about Dr Phil), but to listen and understand, and to interpret all the non-verbal cues as well.

Appreciation. An aspect of respect - not only the ability to appreciate and express that appreciation to your partner, but to be self-aware enough to make an effort to earn your partner's appreciation. It's not a pissing contest to see who can be the nicest (although that can be fun in small doses smile.gif), but a use of empathy to see how your partner's doing and think what you can do to make that better in some way.


Right, I'm tapped out. Off to bed with me. Some of us have jobs, you know *shakes fist at forum students*
Mr Fuzzy
Dear Nonjam (probably for the best - ants would be a real problem otherwise),

The occasional gaps in this thread have had me thinking for a while, and my conclusions are starting to worry me. Are the times when your great and obvious wisom are not called upon the result of widespread inner peace and tranquility? If they are I seem to be missing out on them, and am becoming increasingly perturbed. Is my lack of these windows of harmony a kharmic thing, or is it a little known side effect of having a beard?

Also, is there another word for synonym?

Yours,
Quivering Ball'o'hairy Turmoil.
Jonman
QUOTE (Mr Fuzzy @ Oct 17 2005, 10:46 AM)
Dear Nonjam (probably for the best - ants would be a real problem otherwise),

The occasional gaps in this thread have had me thinking for a while, and my conclusions are starting to worry me. Are the times when your great and obvious wisom are not called upon the result of widespread inner peace and tranquility? If they are I seem to be missing out on them, and am becoming increasingly perturbed. Is my lack of these windows of harmony a kharmic thing, or is it a little known side effect of having a beard?

Also, is there another word for synonym?

Yours,
Quivering Ball'o'hairy Turmoil.
*


Quite the opposite, oh yea of Fuzziness. Watch the news. All the bad things in the world are brought about precisely because those involved didn't seek my wisdom.

Oh, all right, I'm lying. Perhaps we have to face the sad truth that the world has grown tired of my being a smartarse. sad.gif


In case that's not thecase........

Funny you should ask that then, there did used to be a synonym for 'synonym'. The word was spelt using the fabled 27th letter of the alphabet, the letter 'squim' I would type it, but, of course, it doesn't appear in the ASCII set. The letter looks a little bit like a stick-badger teaching Greek to an angry chairleg. Imagine that if you will.

Unfortunately, in 1774, squim was removed from the Oxford English dictionary on account of King Charles' (the then monarch) recent run-in with a badger. It seems that Charles was meandering through some woods, attempting to outfurtle the local peasants, when a rabid badger bit clean through his flagon of premium strength Dutch lager, spilling the precious bubby ambrosia onto the forest floor to inebriate the foilage slowly. Charles was rightly traumatised - lager was so pricey an import than it was a sign of status to allow some of it go flat in a flagon worn around one's waist like a sporran. Such a chachet was attached to it that the smell of 3 day old beer emanating from one's loins would have rich, nubile young debutantes cartwheeling naked through the streets in an attempt to woo the lucky fellow who smells like a pub carpet.

Indeed, righteous with the anger of not having any naked acrobats fling themselves at him, Charles outlawed not only badgers, but also any signs or pictures featuring badgers (leading to the closing down of the famouse Westminster pub, 'The Badger's Cheesepipe'), printing or owning anything with the word 'badger' printed in it, even saying the word could lead to a man having his ankles glued to his nipples, or worse.

The very worst fate awaited the druids, who, while sufferring somewhat of a lull in the need for stone circles, were still scraping a living by divining water for farmers, telling jokes to depressed chickens, and inventing new and ingenious things to do with sticks. Because of the druids' close association with the forest animals, King Charles further decreed that anyway found practising druidicity would summarily be locked in a room with not one, but three asthmatic aging dogs. Over a matter of months, the doomed druid would be driven slowly mad by the incessant, irregular wheezing of the 3 pensioner pooches. A sad, sorry fate from a dark time in this country's history, no doubt.

So, of course, squim had to go too, due to it's symbol's similarity to a badger. There were some who campaigned for simply changing the symbol, but it wouldn't have been enough. To the peasants of the 1700s, simply hearing the word squim would make them see stripes.

And that's why there's no synonym for synonym.
voices_in_my_head
Jonman,

Isn't a synonym for synonym "analogue"?
Jonman
QUOTE (voices_in_my_head @ Oct 17 2005, 11:34 PM)
Jonman,

Isn't a synonym for synonym "analogue"?
*


nah, don't think so:

From Dictionary.com:
QUOTE
Main Entry: an·a·logue
Variant: or an·a·log /'an-&l-"og, -"äg/
Function: noun
1 : something that is analogous or similar to something else


So, techically, a synonym is an analogue, but an analogue isn't necessarily a synonym. Clear as mud, right?
kisah
QUOTE (Jonman @ Sep 28 2005, 05:13 PM)
Appreciation. An aspect of respect - not only the ability to appreciate and express that appreciation to your partner, but to be self-aware enough to make an effort to earn your partner's appreciation. It's not a pissing contest to see who can be the nicest (although that can be fun in small doses smile.gif), but a use of empathy to see how your partner's doing and think what you can do to make that better in some way.

*


Gads you're a mushy sod... wub.gif
mooooooooooopo
QUOTE (Jonman @ Oct 18 2005, 10:14 PM)
QUOTE (voices_in_my_head @ Oct 17 2005, 11:34 PM)
Jonman,

Isn't a synonym for synonym "analogue"?
*


nah, don't think so:

From Dictionary.com:
QUOTE
Main Entry: an·a·logue
Variant: or an·a·log /'an-&l-"og, -"äg/
Function: noun
1 : something that is analogous or similar to something else


So, techically, a synonym is an analogue, but an analogue isn't necessarily a synonym. Clear as mud, right?
*



And to be even more confusing, the form of the word used for electrical devices (ie. analogue or digital) isn't even proper use of the word. It should be 'continuous', 'analogue' being used to point out that the voltage level is an analogue for (ie. represents) some real life quality like temperature or pressure or light.
the lil' pie fairy
Dear Jonman,

How do I cook a decent mildish curry from scratch, but also in a Baby Belling?

Yours in stumped befuddlement, Pie
Sir Psycho Sexy
Dear Jonman (or Mrs Jonman)

This is sorta food related, so I'm not sure which of you to ask, but here goes. What would happen if I put pasta, and anti-pasta on the same plate?

p@
trunks_girl26
QUOTE (Sir_Psycho_Sexy @ Oct 31 2005, 10:59 PM)
Dear Jonman (or Mrs Jonman)

  This is sorta food related, so I'm not sure which of you to ask, but here goes. What would happen if I put pasta, and anti-pasta on the same plate?

p@
*


Clearly they would both cease to be, and could potentially create a black hole which would suck up the universe.

[/spammy thread highjacking]
kisah
QUOTE (the lil' pie fairy @ Oct 25 2005, 09:53 PM)
Dear Jonman,

How do I cook a decent mildish curry from scratch, but also in a Baby Belling?

Yours in stumped befuddlement, Pie
*


[NOTE: This is Jonman posting - Mrs. Jonman left herself logged in, and I'm too dumb to check first. ]

Easy way involves buying a jar of sauce, browning some meat (diced chicken breast being the easiest) in a pan with a bit of oil, then tipping the sauce in, boiling up some rice, and hey presto.

The downside to this is that the cheap jars of sauce are rubbish and hideous, and the expensive ones might be a bit beyond a student budget. Although, that said, a single jar will make 4 or 5 servings, which you can bung into tupperwares with rice, stick in the fridge or freezer and nuke them as required.

Ah, Baby Bellings. It all fell into place when I saw your location....sweet memories of cooking chilli in Prisoner Wentworth Cell Block C, which I'm reliably informed has since been demolished - good thing too - it was bloody awful in there.
Jonman
QUOTE (Sir_Psycho_Sexy @ Oct 31 2005, 11:59 PM)
Dear Jonman (or Mrs Jonman)

  This is sorta food related, so I'm not sure which of you to ask, but here goes. What would happen if I put pasta, and anti-pasta on the same plate?

p@
*


My good friend Dan has a long-held theory that World War 3 will be started in Italy by a careless waiter just that very way. Be careful to keep your starters away from your entrees, y'hear?
WeeJ
Dear Jonman...


Long time, no see!

Yours in 'haven't been around for a while'-ness.

- WeeJ
Jonman
QUOTE (WeeJ @ Nov 1 2005, 10:06 PM)
Dear Jonman...


Long time, no see!

Yours in 'haven't been around for a while'-ness.

- WeeJ
*



No indeed. Not since we fled the Midlands for the rainy Southwest, no. Mainly because my new job doesn't allow me to waste most of the day posting nonsense on obscure corners of the internet.

Which, oddly enough, is quite good.

How's the Wee one getting on?
WeeJ
It's going well. Got a new fella since I spoke to you last which is going exceedingly well and a new job in the design industry to boot. So everything's pretty hunky dorrey at the minute smile.gif

How's Mrs Jonman?

Speaking of which, how's Mr Fuzzy and Mata as well? Aaah Fuzzy....he taught me how to roll cigarettes smile.gif
Jonman
QUOTE (WeeJ @ Nov 1 2005, 10:30 PM)
It's going well. Got a new fella since I spoke to you last which is going exceedingly well and a new job in the design industry to boot. So everything's pretty hunky dorrey at the minute smile.gif

How's Mrs Jonman?

Speaking of which, how's Mr Fuzzy and Mata as well? Aaah Fuzzy....he taught me how to roll cigarettes smile.gif
*


Mrs Jonman is a much happier bunny in the wonderfulness that is Bristol. Mr Fuzzy was as fuzzier than ever last time I saw him. They're going to have to invent a new word to describe his awesome fuzznicity before long. And Mata, err, well, I haven't seen him for a few months, but he was OK then. He juggled and everything
Aria
Dear Jonman,
Am I overreacting?
Now that you've gotten the initial "yes" outta your system, let me explain.
I've been having a bit of annoyance with my significant bloke lately.
You see, he ignored me for about two weeks, I blew up at him, he promised not to do it again, and we hung out with just one another for a week, and he said he'd try to better at balancing me with other people. And I thought everything was solved. But lately, I've been having more frustrations. Like him not cleaning up and making messes after I've just got the place bloody spotless! And then ditching me... He said he'd come to the first part of my night class with me tonight, since it's split up into two parts, and then he'd go hang out with his friend. Of course, he decided to go hang out with his friend at 6.00. I start class at 6.30, so there's clearly something a little incompatible here. And I'm very bloody frustrated with him right now, since he'd said he'd have the house clean when I got home, and as of right now, the sink that I spent about 4 hours fixing last night is once again filled with greasy disgusting water. And the house still isn't particularly clean.

And argh.
So tell me... do I need to chill out, or does my boyfriend need a massive smack upside the head?

Love,
Ari
Jonman
QUOTE (Aria @ Nov 2 2005, 04:59 AM)
Dear Jonman,
Am I overreacting?
Now that you've gotten the initial "yes" outta your system, let me explain.
I've been having a bit of annoyance with my significant bloke lately.
You see, he ignored me for about two weeks, I blew up at him, he promised not to do it again, and we hung out with just one another for a week, and he said he'd try to better at balancing me with other people. And I thought everything was solved. But lately, I've been having more frustrations. Like him not cleaning up and making messes after I've just got the place bloody spotless! And then ditching me... He said he'd come to the first part of my night class with me tonight, since it's split up into two parts, and then he'd go hang out with his friend. Of course, he decided to go hang out with his friend at 6.00. I start class at 6.30, so there's clearly something a little incompatible here. And I'm very bloody frustrated with him right now, since he'd said he'd have the house clean when I got home, and as of right now, the sink that I spent about 4 hours fixing last night is once again filled with greasy disgusting water. And the house still isn't particularly clean.

And argh.
So tell me... do I need to chill out, or does my boyfriend need a massive smack upside the head?

Love,
Ari
*


Both, by the sounds of things. Sounds like he's being a selfish get, but equally, you've got to cut him some slack too. Perhaps there's a good reason why he's acting a bit weird. Maybe he's stressing about work/school or something.

There's probably a happy medium somewhere between.
Phyllis
Dearest Jonman,

Hello! Have you ever had anyone get cranky with you for giving them advice that didn't work? How does one handle such a situation?

Also...table manners. I have supreme difficulty using a knife for anything. Maybe I am attempting to cut things incorrectly. It always looks so easy when I see other people doing it, but when I try I end up hacking away with great effort and not finishing with my meal until a good 10-20 minutes after everyone else. Almost nothing I eat at home ever requires a knife to eat, and I almost never eat at restaurants...so I've had barely any practice with it. I seriously feel like a toddler who has just been allowed to feed herself for the first time when I am given food that requires cutting. I can cut food when I'm preparing it just fine...but then I'm allowed to use my hands to hold it rather than a fork. rolleyes.gif Is this particular skill something that requires practice, or is there a specific technique I am just not seeing?

Yours in advice and cutlery befuddlement,
Cand
Ashbless
Dear Jonman,

How do I cover the possible death of my english guests through an apparent lack of the same language?
A few days ago, one of the two discovers a neat roadway listed on the map that he hadn't noticed before. The "grey creek" road. It appears from the map to be a wonderful shortcut that would easily eliminate 2 hours of driving time to a nearby lake. I agree that such a road exists but that it's totally impossible to drive it at this time of year. I explained, in what I assumed was a common language of English, that the road in summer requires a minimum 4 wheel drive vehicle and in November is totally impassible due to great amounts of snow. (Spring and Fall are very dodgy also due slippery wet mud patches and general steep side of mountainness.)
Somehow this has reached his ears and brain as probably possible in the 2 wheel, rear wheel, drive rental car. This saturday the two have gone missing mysteriously.

Do British people and Canadian people actually speak a similar enough language to communicate?
If the fellows are frozen in the snow partway up the grey creek road - how do I ensure they're never found? wink.gif

Yours in search of a rescue snowmobile,
Ashbless
Jonman
QUOTE (candice @ Nov 5 2005, 08:06 PM)
Dearest Jonman,

Hello!  Have you ever had anyone get cranky with you for giving them advice that didn't work?  How does one handle such a situation?


Of course not - my advice is always perfect tongue.gif
As to how to handle it, I think you have to look at how the advice was offerred. If they asked you for advice, which you then dutifully gave, then to a certain extent, they've got little room to complain. However, if it's the case that you strode in, told them that they were doing whatever wrong, and this is how they ought to do it, then I'd say that you're at fault. There's a world of difference between offerring bad advice on request, and forcing bad advice on someone.

QUOTE (candice @ Nov 5 2005, 08:06 PM)
Also...table manners.  I have supreme difficulty using a knife for anything.  Maybe I am attempting to cut things incorrectly.  It always looks so easy when I see other people doing it, but when I try I end up hacking away with great effort and not finishing with my meal until a good 10-20 minutes after everyone else.  Almost nothing I eat at home ever requires a knife to eat, and I almost never eat at restaurants...so I've had barely any practice with it.  I seriously feel like a toddler who has just been allowed to feed herself for the first time when I am given food that requires cutting.  I can cut food when I'm preparing it just fine...but then I'm allowed to use my hands to hold it rather than a fork.  rolleyes.gif  Is this particular skill something that requires practice, or is there a specific technique I am just not seeing?

Yours in advice and cutlery befuddlement,
Cand
*


I suspect that it's simply a matter of practice. F'rinstance, people that use chopsticks once a year are usually quite crap at eating with chopsticks. Folk who use chopsticks every meal are unsurprisingly amazing at using chopsticks.

As for specific techniques, perhaps. It's possible that you're not 'doing it right', but without seeing you do it, it's difficult to offer any pointers. How about watching very closely a friend who is accustomed to using a knife? And then aping them.
Jonman
QUOTE (Ashbless @ Nov 6 2005, 05:53 AM)
Dear Jonman,

How do I cover the possible death of my english guests through an apparent lack of the same language?
A few days ago, one of the two discovers a neat roadway listed on the map that he hadn't noticed before. The "grey creek" road.  It appears from the map to be a wonderful shortcut that would easily eliminate 2 hours of driving time to a nearby lake.  I agree that such a road exists but that it's totally impossible to drive it at this time of year.  I explained, in what I assumed was a common language of English, that the road in summer requires a minimum 4 wheel drive vehicle and in November is totally impassible due to great amounts of snow.  (Spring and Fall are very dodgy also due slippery wet mud patches and general steep side of mountainness.)
Somehow this has reached his ears and brain as probably possible in the 2 wheel, rear wheel, drive rental car.  This saturday the two have gone missing mysteriously.

Do British people and Canadian people actually speak a similar enough language to communicate?
If the fellows are frozen in the snow partway up the grey creek road - how do I ensure they're never found?  wink.gif

Yours in search of a rescue snowmobile,
Ashbless
*


I suspect that I know what the problem here is. You see, to us Brits, snow is that white stuff that falls out of the sky once every 4 years, and results in a day off work snowballing folk, then it melts a couple of days later and we all get on with whatever we were doing before. I mean, a inch of snowfall is a huge deal to us. The road and public transport networks all close down and we feel like we're really roughing it in the depths of winter.

Now, to a Canadian, snow is a potentially lethal weather condition that hangs around for 4-6 months of the year, and requires you to change to your behaviour to avoid being killed by it. A light snowfall is anything less than a foot depth of snow.

Slight difference, see?

As to how to dispose of the evidence, I'll PM you an excellant casserole recipe. Nowt like Brit stew to warm you through the cold Canadian winter.
the lil' pie fairy
Dear Jonman,

You went to York too!! I did not know that at all. Yes, Prisoner Wentworth got demolished and a swanky new post-grad college stuck there, by the sounds of it. We walked past the other day and they have those unusable balconies over their windows.
But I digress.
I meant to ask, if you studied here, where was your favourite night out and why?
And also, did you ever go to Derwent at all, because our corridor has nineteen people, three baths, two shower rooms and one kitchen. It's cosy dry.gif

Yours in Yorkly wondering, Pie
Sir Psycho Sexy
QUOTE (the lil' pie fairy @ Nov 8 2005, 01:55 AM)
our corridor has nineteen people, three baths, two shower rooms and one kitchen. It's cosy dry.gif

*


Sounds similar to the halls that are lovingly refered to in my University as 'the ghetto'.
Jonman
QUOTE (the lil' pie fairy @ Nov 8 2005, 02:55 AM)
Dear Jonman,

You went to York too!! I did not know that at all. Yes, Prisoner Wentworth got demolished and a swanky new post-grad college stuck there, by the sounds of it. We walked past the other day and they have those unusable balconies over their windows.
But I digress.
I meant to ask, if you studied here, where was your favourite night out and why?
And also, did you ever go to Derwent at all, because our corridor has nineteen people, three baths, two shower rooms and one kitchen. It's cosy dry.gif

Yours in Yorkly wondering, Pie

*


Things to do in York when you're (not) dead:

The Arts Centre used to have some cool nights on, proper techno and jungle nights. I also used to love having a beer outside The Kings Arms in the summer. And rolling down the hill that Clifford's Tower is on in the snow is good too. And walking the walls when spannered became a bit of a thing. Oooh, playing Bread Hoop-La with the geese was entertaining too - I'll explain that.

Take a piece of cheap sliced white bread, preferably a bit stale. Poke the middle out of it, and throw it out of a ground floor window to attract some geese. Or ducks, for bonus points. Now, take your ring of bread crust, and try to fling it over the goose's head, like an organic game of Hoop-La. Beware though! The geese will try and eat it out of mid-air, so you need to compensate your launch vector accordingly.
LoLo
Dear Jonman,

Why do people put beans on toast?

-Lo
Jonman
QUOTE (LoLo @ Nov 10 2005, 02:31 AM)
Dear Jonman,

Why do people put beans on toast?

-Lo
*


Because it's morally the right thing to do, that's why. Toast is the bean's spiritual home, and to deny it that is to defy not only the Geneva Convention, but Fate itself.

Plus, it's damn tasty. I have to say though, beans in the US are always crammed with brown sugar - pah, I say to them. Proper savoury beans on toast is where it's at.
the lil' pie fairy
QUOTE (Jonman @ Nov 10 2005, 07:10 PM)
I have to say though, beans in the US are always crammed with brown sugar - pah, I say to them. Proper savoury beans on toast is where it's at.
*


Dear Jonman, why DO they put brown sugar in their beans?! It sounds like a heretic thing to do, in my opinion. They wouldn't taste right with a fry-up if they were sugary.

Pie
Overfriendly_Kitten
Dear Jonman,

How are you?

Kindest regards,

OFK.
Jonman
QUOTE (the lil' pie fairy @ Nov 13 2005, 08:57 PM)
QUOTE (Jonman @ Nov 10 2005, 07:10 PM)
I have to say though, beans in the US are always crammed with brown sugar - pah, I say to them. Proper savoury beans on toast is where it's at.
*


Dear Jonman, why DO they put brown sugar in their beans?! It sounds like a heretic thing to do, in my opinion. They wouldn't taste right with a fry-up if they were sugary.

Pie
*



Nail. Head. *kablammo*

Precisely my point. Blimmin' herectics the lot of. To the Holy Church of the Mighty Bean, at least.

To be fair, american beans aren't upleasant, they're actually quite nice, but they're quite different, which makes them sucky suckerson for going on toast.

And there's a whole different breakfast culture. British breakfast is savoury, and consists of mainly fried fatty goodness. American breakfast is often quite sweet (waffles with maple syrup? Pancakes?), in which case, their sweeter beans would work quite well.......except beans aren't eaten with brekkie there. It took Mrs Jonman quite a mental readjustment before she could see the wonder of beans on toast because beans for breakfast was just wrong to her.
Jonman
QUOTE (Overfriendly_Kitten @ Nov 14 2005, 04:51 PM)
Dear Jonman,

How are you?

Kindest regards,

OFK.
*


Pas mal, mes canard, as the French say. Well, the French who have picked up Midlands accents anyway.

Bristol >> Leicester, so it's a start.
Overfriendly_Kitten
Good to hear it mate (as they say in Paris... to English visiteurs like moi).

So. Should I wait until I finish my current post grad course (in law) is over or should I take a professional exam in a related subject (fraud investigation) right away?
Jonman
QUOTE (Overfriendly_Kitten @ Nov 14 2005, 06:57 PM)
Good to hear it mate (as they say in Paris... to English visiteurs like moi).

So. Should I wait until I finish my current post grad course (in law) is over or should I take a professional exam in a related subject (fraud investigation) right away?
*


Neither. You should instead have a radical career switch. I suggest attempting to manufacture and market cheese made from human milk. And yogurt too. I leave the naming of the brand up to you. All I have so far is LadyCheese™, which I think needs some work.
Overfriendly_Kitten
Is it wrong that I feel guilty about wishing to become a dairy farmer?
Jonman
QUOTE (Overfriendly_Kitten @ Nov 15 2005, 01:04 AM)
Is it wrong that I feel guilty about wishing to become a dairy farmer?
*


No, it's perfectly natural. But you have to grab that guilt, throw it on the floor, set fire to it and throw it off a bridge. Only then can you go on with a clean conscience towards your destiny of making human yogurt.
Greeneyes
Oh most Jon-like of men,

Just what exactly is parrafin? I have been failed on all accounts in my attempts to discover just what the hell is in that white bottle that I purchased from a petrol station earlier today. For a start, the nice big pretty lettering that attracted me towards it in the first place says "Premium Parrafin", yet the small box full of less interesting lettering lower down says "(Premium) Kerosene". Now, I was perfectly happy to believe that parrafin = kerosene, as I'm aware that they (according to a mix of information from dangerous friends and the internet) have similar properties, but Wikipedia, in all its wiki-madness, seems to think that lamp oil is the same as parrafin and that kerosene is different. To top all this off, it also had the EC number 265-150-3 on the bottle, which iI looked up, only to be confronted with many a page in that strange language called foreign. Search engine translation on one of these pages seemed to think that it was in fact, and I quote, "Naphta". Naptha, maybe?

Anywho, myself and that most funky of frogs reckoned you could probably shed a little light (aha) on the subject, what with you being an aeronautical engineer, and being a circus-stuff type man and such, so any help would be appreciated.

Yours, Joe "notwantingtosetfiretopoiuntilheknowsjustwhatthehellthatstuffis" Bloggs.
Sir Psycho Sexy
As I understand it, parafin is, like petrol, a product of crude oil. I can't remember the process exactly but it's all down to the complexity or size of the...thingy molecules.
Jonman
QUOTE (Greeneyes @ Dec 18 2005, 08:12 PM)
Oh most Jon-like of men,

Just what exactly is parrafin? I have been failed on all accounts in my attempts to discover just what the hell is in that white bottle that I purchased from a petrol station earlier today. For a start, the nice big pretty lettering that attracted me towards it in the first place says "Premium Parrafin", yet the small box full of less interesting lettering lower down says "(Premium) Kerosene". Now, I was perfectly happy to believe that parrafin = kerosene, as I'm aware that they (according to a mix of information from dangerous friends and the internet) have similar properties, but Wikipedia, in all its wiki-madness, seems to think that lamp oil is the same as parrafin and that kerosene is different. To top all this off, it also had the EC number 265-150-3 on the bottle, which iI looked up, only to be confronted with many a page in that strange language called foreign. Search engine translation on one of these pages seemed to think that it was in fact, and I quote, "Naphta". Naptha, maybe?

Anywho, myself and that most funky of frogs reckoned you could probably shed a little light (aha) on the subject, what with you being an aeronautical engineer, and being a circus-stuff type man and such, so any help would be appreciated.

Yours, Joe "notwantingtosetfiretopoiuntilheknowsjustwhatthehellthatstuffis" Bloggs.
*



Off the top of my head, I'd say that they are indeed different. Kerosene is what aircraft fuel is made out of. At least I think so - I have a nagging sensation that that's a popular misconception I'm falling foul of. Anyway, assuming not, I'd warrant that lamp oil is a very different beast from jet fuel. Jet fuel is optimised to provide the maximum energy output per unit of fuel, to get the maximum power-to-weight ratio out of the fuel (you're always trying to minimise the weight of the aircraft (and that includes the weight of the fuel that you're carrying), so the less fuel you have to carry to get the same amount of energy out, the better).

Lamp oil on the other hand, doesn't need a high energy output - it just needs a stable burn characteristic and low flash point.

Anyway, it's Sunday, I've got a cold and I'm too lazy - you have the internet and google - find out and let me know.
Calantyr
Oh, most majestic of the Jon-like-man. Harken unto me this most pressing of concerns.

Why do I not have the slightest guilt about my extensive collection of Andromeda DVD's?
Jonman
QUOTE (Calantyr @ Dec 19 2005, 12:08 AM)
Oh, most majestic of the Jon-like-man. Harken unto me this most pressing of concerns.

Why do I not have the slightest guilt about my extensive collection of Andromeda DVD's?
*

Because you, sir, are a geek. I mean, look at it. Andromeda DVDs, regular internet forum use, videogames....need I go on?

Geeks and guilt are mutually exclusive, you see. 100% orthogonal. Characteristically perpendicular, if you will. Possessed of opposite polarisation, even.
Calantyr
Does that mean that there would be an explosion if I ever came into contact with a non-geek?

Think of the ramifications! I am a breathing WMD! Oh the humanity!
Moosh
QUOTE (Calantyr @ Dec 20 2005, 05:21 PM)
Does that mean that there would be an explosion if I ever came into contact with a non-geek?

Think of the ramifications! I am a breathing WMD! Oh the humanity!
*


What is the likelyhood of you ever coming into contact with a non-geek? Hmmm?
Calantyr
I hear there are places where you can purchase their company...
Jonman
QUOTE (Calantyr @ Dec 20 2005, 06:21 PM)
Does that mean that there would be an explosion if I ever came into contact with a non-geek?

Think of the ramifications! I am a breathing WMD! Oh the humanity!
*


Nah, that's pasta you're thinking of. Quite different from geeks in almost every way.
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