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Jonman
QUOTE (voices_in_my_head @ Feb 13 2006, 03:10 AM)
Jonman-

I have a bad toothache, and my first dentist appointment isn't until sometime around Friday. Would you happen to know of any ways to help the pain until then?
*


Well, fairly obviously, there's over-the-counter pain medication - I believe ibuprofen is supposed to good for inflammation - reduces the swelling I think. However, I'm not a pharmacist, so the best thing you can do is see if you can see your doctor between now and then and see if you can get him/her to prescribe you some more powerful painkillers if you need them. You could also try ringing the dentist and seeing if they can prescribe something - not sure what dentists are allowed to do by law anyway.

Other than that, not really. You could do calming things, like drink camomile tea and meditate. That could help.
Ashbless
Dear Fount of Wisdom,

Which playing cards are best for building card houses? Brand new ones fresh out of the plastic wrapping, casino cards taken home after volunteer night with the hole punched in the middle, much beloved and used old deck with the odd coffee stained card or some other form of cards entirely?

Yours,
Ashbless
Jonman
QUOTE (Ashbless @ Feb 28 2006, 05:06 PM)
Dear Fount of Wisdom,

Which playing cards are best for building card houses?  Brand new ones fresh out of the plastic wrapping, casino cards taken home after volunteer night with the hole punched in the middle, much beloved and used old deck with the odd coffee stained card or some other form of cards entirely?

Yours,
Ashbless
*


Ooh, card houses - I haven't built one of them for years. As a result, I'm not really sure, but I suspect that brand new cards will be too slippy. I'd go for the old, used, cards - just don't use any that are bent - they'll be structurally weakened - the card people who would otherwise be buried under a pile of card rubble will thank you.
Rykan
Dear Jon of Men,
I broke Fuzzy's monitor and got a good shouting at.
How do I make it all better? (I bought him some beers at the pub and Dan has a replacement monitor for him, but he still hates me).
Many thanks!
Rykan
Jonman
QUOTE (Rykan @ Mar 3 2006, 10:19 PM)
Dear Jon of Men,
I broke Fuzzy's monitor and got a good shouting at.
How do I make it all better? (I bought him some beers at the pub and Dan has a replacement monitor for him, but he still hates me).
Many thanks!
Rykan
*


Ah. You see, you have to remember that for boys, their toys are like extensions of their bodies. So, your breaking of his monitor is tantamount to kicking him until his arm falls off.

As horrible as this sounds, it also presents the solution. You've certainly done some good work winning an apology through beer (never a bad idea for future reference), and the new monitor (i.e. sewing his arm back on) is also a good start. Dunno about the Fuzzla, but for me, nothing says sorry like acts of rudeness. Especially when they're performed after a tasty home-cooked meal of something awesome.

Remember, men are simple beasts. Cover all 3 bases (tummy, technology and balls), and you'll be set.
Rykan
QUOTE (Jonman @ Mar 4 2006, 10:34 AM)
Ah. You see, you have to remember that for boys, their toys are like extensions of their bodies. So, your breaking of his monitor is tantamount to kicking him until his arm falls off.

As horrible as this sounds, it also presents the solution. You've certainly done some good work winning an apology through beer (never a bad idea for future reference), and the new monitor (i.e. sewing his arm back on) is also a good start. Dunno about the Fuzzla, but for me, nothing says sorry like acts of rudeness. Especially when they're performed after a tasty home-cooked meal of something awesome.

Remember, men are simple beasts. Cover all 3 bases (tummy, technology and balls), and you'll be set.
*


Jon of Men, you truly are wise.
(Equally though, my computer toys are equally important, being a geek and all). But yes, I see what you mean.
I don't have any spare money at the moment untill we get jobs so I can't help him buy a new one, and I have no spare monitors here at uni.
Did I read that right? Acts of 'rudeness'? I've been meaning to cook him a meal for a while, but we have both been ill, and not wanting to infect my 89 year old land lord or his wife in hospital. D'oh.
3 bases *mulls* This I shall consider...
Kitty
Dear Jonman,

Is there a difference between marmite and vegemite? If so, what is it?

Thanks Muchly,
Kitty
Jonman
QUOTE (Kitty @ Mar 21 2006, 04:11 AM)
Dear Jonman,

Is there a difference between marmite and vegemite? If so, what is it?

Thanks Muchly,
Kitty
*


Yes. Marmite is the scrapings from the Devil's bottom. Vegemite is the scrapings from beneath his fingernails.

Subtle difference, but important.
Sir Psycho Sexy
QUOTE (Jonman @ Mar 21 2006, 05:27 PM)
QUOTE (Kitty @ Mar 21 2006, 04:11 AM)
Dear Jonman,

Is there a difference between marmite and vegemite? If so, what is it?

Thanks Muchly,
Kitty
*


Yes. Marmite is the scrapings from the Devil's bottom. Vegemite is the scrapings from beneath his fingernails.

Subtle difference, but important.
*



What about Bovril?
Rykan
QUOTE (Sir_Psycho_Sexy @ Mar 22 2006, 01:25 AM)
What about Bovril?
*


That's probably scrapings from... I don't want to think >.o
Jonman
QUOTE (Sir_Psycho_Sexy @ Mar 22 2006, 01:25 AM)
QUOTE (Jonman @ Mar 21 2006, 05:27 PM)
QUOTE (Kitty @ Mar 21 2006, 04:11 AM)
Dear Jonman,

Is there a difference between marmite and vegemite? If so, what is it?

Thanks Muchly,
Kitty
*


Yes. Marmite is the scrapings from the Devil's bottom. Vegemite is the scrapings from beneath his fingernails.

Subtle difference, but important.
*



What about Bovril?
*



Bovil used to be acceptable, when it was made from wringing out live cows and distilling the cow juice. But now, evil Unilver have made it into a yeast extract instead of a cow extract. Which puts it in the same boat at the 'mites. It's secret ingredient is all the low-quality scrapings that didn't qualify to make it into Marmite of Vegemite. Ick.
gothictheysay
Dearest Jonman,
I am sure you have met many people you simply can't get along with. Well, I happen to have one of these people around a lot. Let's call him X. Now, X and I got along a very long time ago, but don't anymore. Usually we would have some civil conversations, but a lot of it would just degenerate into bickering. Now, it's gotten much worse lately, to the point where even simply speaking to each other is already flaring up. We're going to have to solve this eventually; there's no way we can keep going at this rate. I have tried many times to generally either be nicer or ignore something, but have found nothing in return and in fact felt that I may have even been used because of my tendency to be generous - and think, say, I'll do him a favor and maybe we'll be back on okay terms again. However, nothing I do seems to work, and he seems just as dismissive as ever, and when I have attempted to reason and try to work things out with him he's simply continued arguing, and just disregards everything I say and has gone so far to assume I'm just making a fuss because I have a crush on him (though of course he hasn't told me that, just said it to a friend who felt she should have told me). Mostly just a mess. sad.gif I was wondering if you had any tips as to how I might be able to return us to civil terms, as one of my teachers can even tell it's getting worse. I think that a little more has to be done on his part first, but anything would be helpful.

Thanks a bunch,
Fairly Well Frustrated
snooodlysnoosnoosnoodle
Mighty Man of Jon,

Do you have any advice for getting over a broken heart? I've been having pretty violent mood swings and it bugs me, I'm not normally a moody person and I keep lashing out at innocent bystanders which freaks me out because I'm afraid I'll offend them.

Everyone else just tells me to sleep around, now I've neither the inclination or the self esteem to do such a thing and I need sensible advice.

Also, how does one get over a rebound crush?


</3,
snoo
trunks_girl26
Dearest Jonman,

I seem to be in a bit of a rut lately. I continue to give my attention to males who really don't deserve it (as pointed out by my friends), however, in my own head I keep blaming myself as poisoning them. Advice?

-The Tainted Lover
LoLo
Dear Jonman,

Why do rabbits like sex so much?
vicrawr
Dear Jonman,

You know what's really underrated? Toast. Man, that stuff is awesome. How come no one talks about toast?

Sincerely,

Vic c.o. IRC
Jonman
QUOTE (gothictheysay @ Mar 22 2006, 10:17 PM)
Dearest Jonman,
I am sure you have met many people you simply can't get along with. Well, I happen to have one of these people around a lot. Let's call him X. Now, X and I got along a very long time ago, but don't anymore. Usually we would have some civil conversations, but a lot of it would just degenerate into bickering. Now, it's gotten much worse lately, to the point where even simply speaking to each other is already flaring up. We're going to have to solve this eventually; there's no way we can keep going at this rate. I have tried many times to generally either be nicer or ignore something, but have found nothing in return and in fact felt that I may have even been used because of my tendency to be generous - and think, say, I'll do him a favor and maybe we'll be back on okay terms again. However, nothing I do seems to work, and he seems just as dismissive as ever, and when I have attempted to reason and try to work things out with him he's simply continued arguing, and just disregards everything I say and has gone so far to assume I'm just making a fuss because I have a crush on him (though of course he hasn't told me that, just said it to a friend who felt she should have told me). Mostly just a mess. sad.gif I was wondering if you had any tips as to how I might be able to return us to civil terms, as one of my teachers can even tell it's getting worse. I think that a little more has to be done on his part first, but anything would be helpful.

Thanks a bunch,
Fairly Well Frustrated
*


Right, so the first question you need to ask yourself, completely honestly, is this: Do you still want to be friends with X? It's a sad fact that as people grow, they sometimes grow apart. Sometimes, that growing apart is irreconcilable. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes it just needs some understanding on one or both parties' parts.

The second question you need to ask yourself is this: Does X think that thereís anything wrong with your relationship, and if so, does he care enough to fix it? If either your or X doesnít want to get on better, then that one will make no effort to fix it. Another thing to consider is whether X is just being dumb. Us blokes arenít known for our emotional sensitivity, you know, especially during our teenage years. Itís perfectly feasible that X hasnít even realized that thereís any problem.

All that said, the most obvious solution, and also one of the most difficult, is to tell X exactly what youíve told me (and the rest of the forum). Lay your cards on the table. Possibly in a letter, as itís not confrontational, and the way you describe your relationship with him sounds like any conversation ends up as an argument. Tell him what your problem(s) with his behavior is, what youíd like to change, and how you think that the two of you can make some progress. Be honest Ė donít be accusatory.

If after all this, X is still acting like a dick, then you can rightfully claim to have tried to fix it, and move on with a clean conscience.

My suspicion is that thereís something behind this Ė perhaps youíve unwittingly done something to annoy/anger X. Perhaps X has a crush on you. Perhaps X is struggling with something in his life that doesnít involve you, but youíre just the outpouring of his anger at whatever that is. Without talking about the problem with X, itís unlikely that whateverís causing him to be an ass will fix itself.

Gíluck,
Jonman
Jonman
QUOTE (snoo @ Mar 22 2006, 10:52 PM)
Mighty Man of Jon,

Do you have any advice for getting over a broken heart? I've been having pretty violent mood swings and it bugs me, I'm not normally a moody person and I keep lashing out at innocent bystanders which freaks me out because I'm afraid I'll offend them.

Everyone else just tells me to sleep around, now I've neither the inclination or the self esteem to do such a thing and I need sensible advice.

Also, how does one get over a rebound crush?


</3,
snoo
*


Meh. Sleeping around's overrated. Unless you do it with style. I mean a full-on orgy, writhing piles of bodies, sweaty strangers and acts of dispicable debauchery (possibly involving animals). Preferably with photographic evidence that you send to the heart-breaker. It's amazing how much petty revenge can make you feel better.

However, I fully recognise that when one's feeling low, summoning the necessary hormones to enage in day-long filthfests can be difficult.

So, my solution is to pamper yourself. I don't mean pedicures and makeovers, I mean immersing yourself in the things that you, snoo, love to do (ooh, nice rhyme). As long as they aren't things that you used to with the aforementioned breaker of hearts, of course: that's just likely to make you feel crappy again. Revel in your independance. Go to bed when you want to. Eat what you like. Indulge your hobbies and have some fun. Ain't nothing like a good time to cure a broken heart in my book.

As for a rebound crush, why do you want to get over it? Have a flirt, that's all part of being an independant single person. You hold the reins now. Use them.
Jonman
QUOTE (trunks_girl26 @ Mar 23 2006, 12:15 AM)
Dearest Jonman,

I seem to be in a bit of a rut lately. I continue to give my attention to males who really don't deserve it (as pointed out by my friends), however, in my own head I keep blaming myself as poisoning them. Advice?

-The Tainted Lover
*


Dear T,

It may sound ridiculous, but how about simply being a bit more self-aware? Every time you look at a lad and think "phwoar", follow that thought with "erm, perhaps I ought to consider whether this guy is an idiot". Ask your friends before you tie yourself to that guy's front door - they seem to have been on the money so far

In summary, stop being such a silly sausage. Take control of your own love-life.

Failing that, join a nunnery - problem solved.

Jonman.
Jonman
QUOTE (LoLo @ Mar 23 2006, 03:57 PM)
Dear Jonman,

Why do rabbits like sex so much?
*


Because they're not stupid, are rabbits.
Jonman
QUOTE (IrishGuy @ Mar 23 2006, 07:57 PM)
Dear Jonman,

You know what's really underrated? Toast. Man, that stuff is awesome. How come no one talks about toast?

Sincerely,

Vic c.o. IRC
*


Speak for youself pal. I certainly don't underrate toast. I talk about it on a weekly basis (at least). I actually spent several months devising a scientific grading system for toast, taking into account such diverse variables as age of bread, price of toaster and degree of particularity of bread components. Additionally, I'm close personal friends with the toast fairy.

Jonman,
Ashbless
Dear Jonman,

Is it part of the magic of toast that the word itself is hillariously funny whenever overtired and/or drunk?

Curious,
Me.
pgrmdave
Dear Jonman,

What do you think that Jesus's favorite food would be if he lived in this day and age? For that matter, what about Budda, Moses, or any other spiritual leader whose dietary habits you would like to ponder?
Witless
Dear Jonman,

I heard online that fairies were once slaves to a huge beast.
They defeated him by using crude slingshot weapons with their teeth as ammo. Once freed they realised they couldn't eat solid foods with all their teeth gone, and since that time, tooth fairies pay humans for their spare milk teeth.
Is this true?

Sincerly Witless
Jonman
QUOTE (Ashbless @ Mar 28 2006, 02:41 AM)
Dear Jonman,

Is it part of the magic of toast that the word itself is hillariously funny whenever overtired and/or drunk?

Curious,
Me.
*


Dear You.

No. That is nothing to do with the magic of toast. The magic of toast is manifest in it's wonderful crunchy, warm yumminess. You're thinking of the magic of beer and the magic of exhaustion.

Rookie mistake.

Sorted.
Me.
Jonman
QUOTE (pgrmdave @ Mar 28 2006, 03:03 AM)
Dear Jonman,

What do you think that Jesus's favorite food would be if he lived in this day and age?  For that matter, what about Budda, Moses, or any other spiritual leader whose dietary habits you would like to ponder?
*


"What would Jesus eat?"

There's two schools of thought on this - the Westboro one, where Jesus would eat the warm, still-beating hearts of gays, muslims and everyone else who isn't from Topeka, and the other, non-wingnut school of thought that Jesus would eat organic, fairtrade healthy nutritious and tasty foods.

Buddha, from the look of him, would probably subsist on a diet of liquid pork fat.

As for Moses, I haven't a clue. Aside from the fact that he parted the Red Sea, I don't know much else about him. Based on that singluar piece of information, I reckon he'd be big into sushi.

And as for Bobby Henderson, the prophet of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, I hope that his eating habits will be covered in his soon-to-be-released book. It's out in the US shortly, and the UK later this year - don't forget to use the links off the bottom of the forum......
Jonman
QUOTE (Witless @ Mar 28 2006, 11:53 AM)
Dear Jonman,

I heard online that fairies were once slaves to a huge beast.
They defeated him by using  crude slingshot weapons with their teeth as ammo. Once freed they realised they couldn't eat solid foods with all their teeth gone, and since that time, tooth fairies pay humans for their spare milk teeth.
Is this true?

Sincerly Witless
*


Dear Witless (the clue's in the name there)

I heard online that there's a monkey living inside every person, driving them around like fleshy robots. I also heard online that man has never been to the moon, and that if you drink coke and eat pop rocks that your arse explodes. I also heard online that there's any number of Nigerian princes who's fathers were murdered by manic dictators, but who luckily have access to their father's huge fortunes, and are willing to share that vast sum of money with anyone with an email address.

Here's the moral of this story - don't believe everything you read on the intertron.

Unless I wrote it, in which case it's gospel truth.

Not-very-sincerely,
Jonman
Phyllis
Dearest Jonman,

Hiya, how're you and Mrs. Jonman doing these days? Is she enjoying Bristol more than the Midlands? I may have asked that before, but I can't remember the answer.

Also, what is your opinion on carrot cake? And approximately how much carrot cake would I need to achieve my dreams of world domination?

- Cand
Jonman
QUOTE (candice @ Apr 16 2006, 09:03 PM)
Dearest Jonman,

Hiya, how're you and Mrs. Jonman doing these days?  Is she enjoying Bristol more than the Midlands?  I may have asked that before, but I can't remember the answer.

Also, what is your opinion on carrot cake?  And approximately how much carrot cake would I need to achieve my dreams of world domination?

- Cand
*



Dearest Cand.

In a word: better. Bristol has everything that we wanted and weren't getting in Leicester (i.e. culture). Mrs Jonman has a new job which she's dead chuffed with, so all is well. Interestingly enough, our landlady offerred to sell us our flat over the weekend. Now if we could only afford the ludicrous proprety prices here, everything would be ace.

As to the carrot cake, I'm not entirely convinced that world domination through eating carrot cake if feasible. I mean, I've eaten a lot of carrot cake in my time, and I'm not even close to having henchmen and lesbian robots. Not to mention a secret base. Zucchini bread on the other hand, now you're talking. Daily zucchini bread should lead directly to maniacal laughter, doomsday weapons and folk henching about like nobody's business.

Yours sincerosely,
Husband-to-the-zucchini-bread-chef
Usurper MrTeapot
Dear MrManJon.

In response to the above response to cand's question (above), could Hitler's defeat in the war be linked to a change in dietry habits?

Yours, Teapot.
Jonman
QUOTE (MrTeapot @ Apr 19 2006, 01:17 AM) *
Dear MrManJon.

In response to the above response to cand's question (above), could Hitler's defeat in the war be linked to a change in dietry habits?

Yours, Teapot.


I dunno. I think it had more to do with his army being woefully underprepared for the harsh conditions on the Western Front. Not to mention the yanks blowing the crap out of two large Japanese cities. Could've been his dietary habits, mind. Just saying that there may be other factors at play.
Greeneyes
Dear Man of Jon,

Is blood libel still blood libel if it's spoken?

Sincerely,

beenreadingarticlesonreligeionrecently
Mr Fuzzy
I might not be coming up with an answer brimming with Krazy Humour™ (in Soviet Russia joke makes you) but I can answer that one. Where one is written and one is spoken you are thinking of libel and slander. Same thing, just different delivery.
Greeneyes
Indeed. I was just wondering whether this applied to blood libel or not, as I've never heard the term 'blood slander'.
Jonman
Jonman is confumbled. Blood....Libel. Two words that don't go together in Jonman's head.

"Your blood smells of poo and kills monkeys"

Is that blood libel?

.......

Ah, apparently not, Wikipedia informs me. In which case, thanks to the scientific method of flipping a coin, I have decided that yes, blood slander is an acceptable term.
gingerpig
QUOTE (Jonman @ Mar 28 2006, 06:07 PM) *
Buddha, from the look of him, would probably subsist on a diet of liquid pork fat.


btw (and I'm really not being that anal), Buddha is supposed to have died as a result of dysentry contracted after consuming pork offered by a disciple. Of course Buddhists aren't suuposed to eat meat, but I think it's more about not causing suffering by killing than not eating animals. There's also something to be said for accepting what's offered etc, etc.

Hmmmmm my question is.......

Have you seen the new baby tapir at Bristol Zoo?
LoLo
Dearest Jonman,

If given the choice would you choose tin foil or rubber bands?

Sincerely,

LoLo
Jonman
QUOTE (gingerpig @ Apr 23 2006, 02:44 PM) *
Hmmmmm my question is.......

Have you seen the new baby tapir at Bristol Zoo?


Nope, I haven't. Went there when my nephew came to visit a few weeks ago. Probably not going to go back any time soon, as ( a ) it's ridiculously expensive, and ( b ) zoos make Mrs. Jonman sad. Especially primates in cages, they always look so depressed and pissed off.



QUOTE (LoLo @ Apr 23 2006, 03:22 PM) *
Dearest Jonman,

If given the choice would you choose tin foil or rubber bands?

Sincerely,

LoLo


That's a silly question. Rubber bands ain't no good for wrapping up bacon, and tin foil is difficult to ping at people.

So I therefore choose rubber foil.
gingerpig
Oh shame you didn't like the zoo! It does tonnes of conservation stuff and is invloved with the tapir breeding programme amongst lots of other things. But fair do's, some people don't like zoo's. I guess I wish they didn't need to exist, but that's a whole other topic entirely.

Question is, could a guinea pig (toy or real, we have both) ever be as good at martial arts as Samuri Lapin - and if so, what would it's forte be?
Jonman
QUOTE (gingerpig @ Apr 23 2006, 07:09 PM) *
Oh shame you didn't like the zoo! It does tonnes of conservation stuff and is invloved with the tapir breeding programme amongst lots of other things. But fair do's, some people don't like zoo's. I guess I wish they didn't need to exist, but that's a whole other topic entirely.

Question is, could a guinea pig (toy or real, we have both) ever be as good at martial arts as Samuri Lapin - and if so, what would it's forte be?


I quite enjoyed the zoo to be fair. Although I have to agree with the missus - the gorillas looked abjectly miserable. Really quite sad.

As to your ninja guinea pig, I don't see why not. The problem would be finding a suitably skilled rodent sensei to train it. Guinea pigs can't just pick up a set of nunchuks and all of a sudden be Bruce Lee. It does beg the question of whether there would be guinea pig-specific kata. Some kind of form incorporting the spinny wheel thing?
gingerpig
I know what you mean about the gorilla's - I'd like to see a B3ta kitten stylee gorilla with big smiley human mouth. Mind you, the gorilla's at Bristol have just had a baby, so they're enjoying something...

Re the big wheely thing for g pigs, they're not good in those sort of things, they tend to break their backs as they're not flexible enough, unlike hamsters. Hmmmmmm I am starting to feel like mad cat woman now which is unsettling but sadly, expected. G pigs are coprophagic, and indeed have a small sack to store their poo's in. They even produce a special grey slime to cover said poo's for ease of eating - so I'm wondering what about poo-sack nunchaks? They could have a special jumpy twisty kata, where they face their opponent, turn round, crap nunchaks out in quick sucession, and then turn round again.

My question is now - I'm getting way too into this aren't I?
LoLo
Dear Jonman,

Cand and I have been trying to figure out how to explain to some people in England what salt water taffy is like, so that got me to thinking that perhaps you might know how to explain it. Some of the best salt water taffy I had came from Seattle and since you lived there I thougt you might know.

-LoLo
Phyllis
Dearest Jonman,

I am planning ahead for my quest for the holy grail: good Mexican food in the UK. Does it exist anywhere? Am I going to just end up continually weeping at what people there have done to fajitas, much the way I weep at what people here have done to chocolate and cheese?

-Cand
Usurper MrTeapot
For the record, I make a pretty damn good Quasi-Burrito.
Jonman
QUOTE (gingerpig @ Apr 24 2006, 07:10 PM) *
I know what you mean about the gorilla's - I'd like to see a B3ta kitten stylee gorilla with big smiley human mouth. Mind you, the gorilla's at Bristol have just had a baby, so they're enjoying something...

Re the big wheely thing for g pigs, they're not good in those sort of things, they tend to break their backs as they're not flexible enough, unlike hamsters. Hmmmmmm I am starting to feel like mad cat woman now which is unsettling but sadly, expected. G pigs are coprophagic, and indeed have a small sack to store their poo's in. They even produce a special grey slime to cover said poo's for ease of eating - so I'm wondering what about poo-sack nunchaks? They could have a special jumpy twisty kata, where they face their opponent, turn round, crap nunchaks out in quick sucession, and then turn round again.

My question is now - I'm getting way too into this aren't I?


Yes. Yes you are.

*backs away nervously*
Jonman
QUOTE (LoLo @ Apr 30 2006, 08:46 PM) *
Dear Jonman,

Cand and I have been trying to figure out how to explain to some people in England what salt water taffy is like, so that got me to thinking that perhaps you might know how to explain it. Some of the best salt water taffy I had came from Seattle and since you lived there I thougt you might know.

-LoLo


Bizarrely enough, we saw something on the telly about this. Taffy is pretty much the same as toffee, except that here in Blighty, toffee is itself a flavour, so toffee is normally, well, toffee-flavoured. Whereas taffy comes in all bonkers flvours, if I'm not mistaken.

The salt water part is a bit of folklore. Apparently, some bloke had a taffy shop which was by the sea, and it got flooded. From there on, he called it salt water taffy. It sold, and the name stuck.

I'm not sure that we've ever seen taffy for sale over here. Best bet is probably Costco - we've just got a membership to it through Mrs. Jonman's work, and she's over the moon, as it stocks all the American things that she can't easily get here, and misses. Newman's grape juice, ranch dressing, oreos, Oberto jerky, Jelly Belly jelly beans and proper Ziploc bags. You'd be amazed how much simply having resealable bags that actually seal well makes my American girl feel happy. Bless her cotton socks. Got them from Costco too.

QUOTE (candice @ Apr 30 2006, 09:42 PM) *
Dearest Jonman,

I am planning ahead for my quest for the holy grail: good Mexican food in the UK. Does it exist anywhere? Am I going to just end up continually weeping at what people there have done to fajitas, much the way I weep at what people here have done to chocolate and cheese?

-Cand


Hmm, yeah, it's a toughie. We've found a few passable Mexican restaurants here, but they're few and far between. Invariably, the good ones have been ones that are run by a Mexican family - any franchise-type places are pretty poor.

Mrs. Jonman's has a theory why Mexican food never took off in England. It's a bit of a mystery otherwise - we love food with as many strong and spicy flavours (witness our national curry addiction), and mexican is easy and tasty. Anyway, her theory is that it's an accent thing. Nobody in England wants to order a fadge-i-ta: it sounds like a veneral disease. And tay-koes? En-chill-aaa-daaas? I don't even know how chimichangas would translate.

However, all is not lost. We make our own mexican food - any supermarket will sell tortillas, and in the 'ethnic foods' aisle, where all the curry sauces and chinese stuff is, there's a tiny wee mexican section, where you can get taco, fajita and enchilada seasonings, refried beans and salsa. For a 10-minute dinner option, it's pretty damn tasty.

I hear you on the chocolate and cheese mind. Not the cheese so much, I found some really really good cheeses in Seattle. The chocolate's a bit of a lost cause. Mrs Jonman and I have discussed this at length. While she likes both european and american chocolate, she prefers american chocolate, despite recognising that european chocolate is more 'authentic', it's simply that she grew up with american chocolate, so that really hits all the 'comfort food' buttons for her.
Smiler
Jonman wise master of all things agony uncleish,

Let me start by saying, long time reader, first time writer,

Could you advise which is best to use for multiple application to broken water pipes- gum or clingfilm/celowrap?
Jonman
QUOTE (Smiler @ May 15 2006, 06:07 PM) *
Jonman wise master of all things agony uncleish,

Let me start by saying, long time reader, first time writer,

Could you advise which is best to use for multiple application to broken water pipes- gum or clingfilm/celowrap?


Hello Smiler.

Hopefully, your house hasn't flooded in the 5 days it's taken me to get a reply to this. I'd love to tell you that the delay is due to my extensive research into Macgyver-esque improvisational plumbing techniques, but that would be a lie. In place of the aforementioned extensive research, I've had a big glass of wine. I always work better when half-cut.

So, basically, you want to plug holes with gum, then, before the gun actually dries, wrap the entire repaired area with clingfilm. Gum and clingfilm surpsingly has higher tensile strength than steel, and more durability thatn diamond-encrusted titanium. Who'da thunk it, eh?
Sir Psycho Sexy
QUOTE (Jonman @ May 1 2006, 04:10 PM) *
Bizarrely enough, we saw something on the telly about this. Taffy is pretty much the same as toffee, except that here in Blighty, toffee is itself a flavour, so toffee is normally, well, toffee-flavoured. Whereas taffy comes in all bonkers flvours, if I'm not mistaken.

The salt water part is a bit of folklore. Apparently, some bloke had a taffy shop which was by the sea, and it got flooded. From there on, he called it salt water taffy. It sold, and the name stuck.


Dear Jonman

Wasn't that on QI?

p@
Jonman
QUOTE (Sir_Psycho_Sexy @ May 21 2006, 05:27 PM) *
QUOTE (Jonman @ May 1 2006, 04:10 PM) *

Bizarrely enough, we saw something on the telly about this. Taffy is pretty much the same as toffee, except that here in Blighty, toffee is itself a flavour, so toffee is normally, well, toffee-flavoured. Whereas taffy comes in all bonkers flvours, if I'm not mistaken.

The salt water part is a bit of folklore. Apparently, some bloke had a taffy shop which was by the sea, and it got flooded. From there on, he called it salt water taffy. It sold, and the name stuck.


Dear Jonman

Wasn't that on QI?

p@


Yes. Yes it was.

*rips off Jonman mask in a Mission Impossible-stylee to reveal Stephen Fry's grinning jowels*
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