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Jonman
QUOTE (Mr Fuzzy @ Nov 22 2003, 07:12 PM)
Dear Jonmad,

Scurvy. Discuss.

Your's,
Worryingly obsessed with scurvy.

Scurvy. Lovely stuff. Scurvy is indeed the reason us British folk are referred to as limeys by our American neighbours. Y'see, when we (the british) were sailing over to the states in vast droves, scurvy was a big problem aboard ship. Scurvy is caused by a deficiency in vitamin C, and being that fresh fruit is hard to acquire half way across the Atlantic, you can begin to see why it was such a problem. Annnnnyyyyway, to avoid everyone getting scurvified, boats would carry huge crates of limes aboard (limes being one of the citrus fruits richest in vitamin C), which everybody would suck on to get their vitamin C.

As an aside, the symptoms of scurvy include anameia, acute pain in the limbs caused by haemmorrhages and bleeding and swelling when the lack of vitamin C makes the capilliaries fragil and suceptible to bursting.

Scurvy is for the most part not seen in modern first world/western societies, but is still rampant among young children in many third world countries (especially in the poorer parts of the African continent), where diet is poor.

Played in a game of scrabble, the word 'scurvy' can score a maximum of 54 points.
Jonman
QUOTE (gerbilfromhell @ Nov 22 2003, 07:28 PM)
but anyways, on with the question.
i finally found the mosquito in question (hiding under my bed, little f*cker). and i got the idea to spray bug repellant ON it to make it go away. as soon as i did, it dropped dead. why? huh.gif

signed
scared of bug repellant unsure.gif



edit: "And a more meaningful question - are gerbils rodents?"




how much money do you want to answer that with a 'no'. wink.gif

Bug repellant is highly toxic to bugs. That's why they run away from it toot-suite. Imagine if a giant sprayed molten lava around the place - you'd swiftly move to avoid being burnt to death, would you not? Works on the same principle.

And gerbils are indeed rodents. Clearly, my answers cannot be swayed by money. Boobs and jelly for sure, but not money.
Jonman
QUOTE (syuu @ Nov 22 2003, 11:07 PM)
Dear Jonman -

How do you solve all of the world's problems the way only you do?

And a more meaningful question - are gerbils rodents?

- syuukake

It's a subtle blend of wit, charm, stunning good looks, amazing sexual prowess, mindboggling intellect, soul-wrenching empathic sensitivity and incredible intuit.

That, and I could bulls**t for a living.

and yes again, gerbils are rodents - I guess you won that argument then?
Phyllis
Dear Jonman,

Who do you and Jaq go to for advice? Do you go to each other, or is there some great guru of advice that is above you both? If so, does he live on top of a mountain? That would be neat.

Yours,
Cand.
Polocrunch
Dear Jonman,

I need to obtain fifteen litres of the blood of a virgin. Where, in this day and age, will I find a virgin of legal sacrificial age?


Yours smitingly,

P'Ohlock Run-Chi,
High Priest of the Lesser Besotted Arvakod
Oni Usagi
Dear Jonman,

If a woman has sex. Then is cloned. Is the close a virgin?

sincerely,
inspired by Polos question
Jonman
QUOTE (candice @ Nov 24 2003, 12:31 PM)
Dear Jonman,

Who do you and Jaq go to for advice? Do you go to each other, or is there some great guru of advice that is above you both? If so, does he live on top of a mountain? That would be neat.

Yours,
Cand.

Me? I go to the great font of knowledge that is my head. And Google. I don't live up a mountain. Google might do - you never know.
Jonman
QUOTE (Polocrunch @ Nov 24 2003, 12:34 PM)
Dear Jonman,

I need to obtain fifteen litres of the blood of a virgin. Where, in this day and age, will I find a virgin of legal sacrificial age?


Yours smitingly,

P'Ohlock Run-Chi,
High Priest of the Lesser Besotted Arvakod

OK, a few issues here.

One, the average human has 9 pints of blood. So, you either need a couple of virgins, or one really enormous virgin. As for legal sacrifice age, I'm not aware of any country has a legal sacrifice age. Certainly the majority of 1st world countries would probably consider it murder. So, your options are going to change to:

1 : Move to a very underdeveloped country where you're allowed to sacrifice/murder folk at lesiure.
2 : Stay where you are, and acquire a few goats. Young goats, like, to ensure that they're virgins. Dodge the animal rights folks, and bad-a-bing, virginbloodadabadobulous!
3 : Stick some red food colouring and cornflour into some water and go with that.

Baron Jonmanedi
Jonman
QUOTE (Oni Usagi @ Nov 24 2003, 12:42 PM)
Dear Jonman,

If a woman has sex. Then is cloned. Is the close a virgin?

sincerely,
inspired by Polos question

Assuming that my knowledge of cloning is accurate, then yes, the clone would be a virgin. My reasoning is as follows.

The virginity of a women is presumably inferred from the intacticity of her hymen. The clone will share the same DNA as the woman, who would have been born with an intact hymen, therefore the clone will have it. Likewise, an amputee who is cloned will produce a clone with all it's limbs.

The other way of looking at is to say that one's virginity is defined by one's actions. Thus, the clone hasn't had sex, so is a virgin.
Jaq
QUOTE (Jonman @ Nov 24 2003, 12:39 PM)
QUOTE (Mr Fuzzy @ Nov 22 2003, 07:12 PM)
Dear Jonmad,

Scurvy. Discuss.

Your's,
Worryingly obsessed with scurvy.


Played in a game of scrabble, the word 'scurvy' can score a maximum of 54 points.

Actually Jonman, if you add 'scurvy' onto another word, making it plural with the addition of the 's' say to the word 'zyme' making 'zymes' with the 's' on a triple word score you would get a score of 114 on one turn. Though that's more of two words on one turn than what you would actually get from one word, scurvy.
z
y
m
e
scurvy


I'm gonna shut up now.
Jonman
QUOTE (Jaq @ Nov 24 2003, 01:24 PM)
QUOTE (Jonman @ Nov 24 2003, 12:39 PM)
Played in a game of scrabble, the word 'scurvy' can score a maximum of 54 points.

Actually Jonman, if you add 'scurvy' onto another word, making it plural with the addition of the 's' say to the word 'zyme' making 'zymes' with the 's' on a triple word score you would get a score of 114 on one turn. Though that's more of two words on one turn than what you would actually get from one word, scurvy.


Exactly - the score from scurvy itself would be 54. I'm assuming you can't pluralise it as well.
Jaq
QUOTE (Jonman @ Nov 24 2003, 01:48 PM)
QUOTE (candice @ Nov 24 2003, 12:31 PM)
Dear Jonman,

Who do you and Jaq go to for advice?  Do you go to each other, or is there some great guru of advice that is above you both?  If so, does he live on top of a mountain?  That would be neat.

Yours,
Cand.

Me? I go to the great font of knowledge that is my head. And Google. I don't live up a mountain. Google might do - you never know.

Really? Because I listen to the voices in my head. Usually they tell me to eat things and go to school and get dressed but sometimes they make me answer serious questions with smarmy answers and post them on the net...
Google works too though. I think Google lives in the Silicon Valley... exact opposite of a mountain if you ask me...
FurryMammal
Dear Long John Silverman

I'm ill, and so i have lots of time to eat up with dvds, games, the internet, books, cds and tv. I've also got a bit f cash, so anything you'd recommend?

cheers,
a plague stricken youth
Mr Fuzzy
QUOTE (Jonman @ Nov 24 2003, 07:48 PM)
QUOTE (candice @ Nov 24 2003, 12:31 PM)
Dear Jonman,

Who do you and Jaq go to for advice?  Do you go to each other, or is there some great guru of advice that is above you both?  If so, does he live on top of a mountain?  That would be neat.

Yours,
Cand.

Me? I go to the great font of knowledge that is my head. And Google. I don't live up a mountain. Google might do - you never know.

Actually Google resides in a pidgeon loft,

Observe!
Mr Fuzzy
QUOTE (Jonman @ Nov 24 2003, 07:52 PM)
QUOTE (Polocrunch @ Nov 24 2003, 12:34 PM)
Dear Jonman,

I need to obtain fifteen litres of the blood of a virgin. Where, in this day and age, will I find a virgin of legal sacrificial age?


Yours smitingly,

P'Ohlock Run-Chi,
High Priest of the Lesser Besotted Arvakod

OK, a few issues here.

One, the average human has 9 pints of blood. So, you either need a couple of virgins, or one really enormous virgin. As for legal sacrifice age, I'm not aware of any country has a legal sacrifice age. Certainly the majority of 1st world countries would probably consider it murder. So, your options are going to change to:

1 : Move to a very underdeveloped country where you're allowed to sacrifice/murder folk at lesiure.
2 : Stay where you are, and acquire a few goats. Young goats, like, to ensure that they're virgins. Dodge the animal rights folks, and bad-a-bing, virginbloodadabadobulous!
3 : Stick some red food colouring and cornflour into some water and go with that.

Baron Jonmanedi

1) I remember when the average bod contained 8 pints. That's pies for you.

2) You would be amazed what you can do if you have a well written contract...
Mr Fuzzy
QUOTE (Jonman @ Nov 24 2003, 08:27 PM)
QUOTE (Jaq @ Nov 24 2003, 01:24 PM)
QUOTE (Jonman @ Nov 24 2003, 12:39 PM)
Played in a game of scrabble, the word 'scurvy' can score a maximum of 54 points.

Actually Jonman, if you add 'scurvy' onto another word, making it plural with the addition of the 's' say to the word 'zyme' making 'zymes' with the 's' on a triple word score you would get a score of 114 on one turn. Though that's more of two words on one turn than what you would actually get from one word, scurvy.


Exactly - the score from scurvy itself would be 54. I'm assuming you can't pluralise it as well.

I hate to say, but I'm with the Man'o'Jon here. Pluralisation within Scrabble is just wrong.

By the way, to explain my triple post, I went to buy a pack of Rizla earlier. I came back with a pack of Rizla, a 50g tin of tobacco, 5 pork pies, and a crate of beer. Oops.
Jonman
QUOTE (Mr Fuzzy @ Nov 24 2003, 03:10 PM)
I hate to say, but I'm with the Man'o'Jon here. Pluralisation within Scrabble is just wrong.

By the way, to explain my triple post, I went to buy a pack of Rizla earlier. I came back with a pack of Rizla, a 50g tin of tobacco, 5 pork pies, and a crate of beer. Oops.

Well, scurvey's like pneumonia and being pregnant. You can't be pregnants, and I've yet to hear of the unlucky sod who caught multiple pneumonias.



Pluralisations in and of itself is a perfectly valid, if somewhat underhand, tactic in the world of Scrabble.

Mmmm, (pork) pies.
Mr Fuzzy
Not just pork pies. Melton Mowbrays. Two pork and apple, three pork and mustard. They're good pies!
Jaq
QUOTE (Jonman @ Nov 24 2003, 02:27 PM)
Exactly - the score from scurvy itself would be 54. I'm assuming you can't pluralise it as well.

QUOTE
Well, scurvey's like pneumonia and being pregnant. You can't be pregnants, and I've yet to hear of the unlucky sod who caught multiple pneumonias.



Right you are Monjan. I was confusing a single turn in Scrabble with a single word in Scrabble.

and no scurvy can't be pluralized but I bet you could get multiple cases of pnuemonia in succession...
Jonman
QUOTE (FurryMammal @ Nov 24 2003, 02:38 PM)
Dear Long John Silverman

I'm ill, and so i have lots of time to eat up with dvds, games, the internet, books, cds and tv. I've also got a bit f cash, so anything you'd recommend?

cheers,
a plague stricken youth

OK Igor - fire up Jonmans Patented Multimediac Entertainment Shortlist ™!

*sounds of hissing steam and squealing machinery in background*

Games: Mario Kart (Gamecube), Project Gotham Racing 2 (xbox), Prince of Persia (mulit-format), Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga (Gameboy), Final Fantasy: Tactics (Gameboy),

DVD: Akira, Ghost in the Shell (two bestest anime), Adaptation, One Armed Boxer (classic 70s kung-fu), any and all stand-up routines by Eddie Izzard

Books: Altered Carbon (Richard K Morgan), Cyptonomicon (Neal Stephenson), Things My Girlfriend and I Argue About (Mil Millington), anything by Alastair Reynolds or William Gibson. Especially Cyptonomicon - it's a brilliant read...

Internet: WARNING - SOME BAD TO TERRIBLE LANGUAGE MAY BE USED IN THESE LINKED SITES - all usages are comedic ) Red vs Blue: - hilarious web cartoon made using the Halo engine), StrongBad's email, The B3TA board, Weebl & Bob
TV: Comedy Central - it's the only way to be.

[EDIT] - just remembered another brilliant site that'll keep you busy for ages - an online comic.... Broken Saints
Jonman
QUOTE (Mr Fuzzy @ Nov 24 2003, 03:32 PM)
Not just pork pies. Melton Mowbrays. Two pork and apple, three pork and mustard. They're good pies!

Oooh, you luggy luggy b'stad!
Mr Fuzzy
QUOTE (Jonman @ Nov 24 2003, 10:42 PM)
Books: Altered Carbon (Richard K Morgan)

You too? Good, isn't he! Read Broken Angels yet?
Jonman
QUOTE (Jaq @ Nov 24 2003, 03:39 PM)
Right you are Monjan. I was confusing a single turn in Scrabble with a single word in Scrabble.

and no scurvy can't be pluralized but I bet you could get multiple cases of pnuemonia in succession...

Yeah - picky me.


Maybe the plural of pneumonia is pneumonia
*heads off to Dictionary.com*

Hold on a sec - if my knowledge of classical Greek isn't totally up the swannee - pneumonia is already pluralised.....
Jonman
QUOTE (Mr Fuzzy @ Nov 24 2003, 03:45 PM)
QUOTE (Jonman @ Nov 24 2003, 10:42 PM)
Books: Altered Carbon (Richard K Morgan)

You too? Good, isn't he! Read Broken Angels yet?

Raah! That was one of the best books I'd read until I started Cryptonomicon! I didn't know he had a new one out -

/me is off to Amazon to add it to my Wish List
Mr Fuzzy
It's good. Tak is in a different role in that one - he's working as a military merc' who goes off on one. Try to find a place selling the silver foil copies rather than the newer red ones.
Jaq
Dear Jonman:

Could you do my essay for me? You just have to argue one way or t'other whether Marlow's attitudes in Heart of Darkness are self consistent with respect to the various African people he meets. Simple really. I've gotten 4 pgs done for you already and now you only have to do 6 more.

Please please pretty please with cherries on top of whiskey oh wise, charming, virile and most excellent Jonman?

Jaq
Jonman
QUOTE (Jaq @ Nov 24 2003, 03:59 PM)
Dear Jonman:

Could you do my essay for me? You just have to argue one way or t'other whether Marlow's attitudes in Heart of Darkness are self consistent with respect to the various African people he meets. Simple really. I've gotten 4 pgs done for you already and now you only have to do 6 more.

Please please pretty please with cherries on top of whiskey oh wise, charming, virile and most excellent Jonman?

Jaq

Bah. Heart of Darkness was a dull Playstation 2 game. Can't remember meeting any African people in it, though. Why don't you fill the last 6 pages with pictures cut out of magazines of lithe/hunky women/men (delete as appropriate depending on the gender preference of your teacher/lecturer/proffessor/master)?

That way, you get to have fun making collages, you get a good mark, and I get to sit around on my lazy butt doing not much, as, you see, I'm tragically lazy.
CrazyFooIAintGettinOnNoPlane
Jonman! Jonman!

Do spiders sneeze? Do they get colds? What do they get? Do they get very impatient when doing the hokey kokey?

Whats the physics of seatbelts?

What time shall I get up tommorow?

-Mat
Jonman
QUOTE (crazymat @ Nov 24 2003, 04:33 PM)
Jonman! Jonman!

Do spiders sneeze? Do they get colds? What do they get? Do they get very impatient when doing the hokey kokey?

Whats the physics of seatbelts?

What time shall I get up tommorow?

-Mat

Blimey.

*blinks*

OK, then. You've clearly got a lot of questions. Here goes...

Spiders don't sneeze, neither do they get colds. That's because they don't have noses. They breathe through four organs located on the underside of their abdomens. Some spiders have a kind of spider equivalent of blood, and use a lung-type affair to move oxygen around. Others have a direct system of branching tubes that lead from the breathing tubes straight to the organs that require oxygen.

Apparently, no-one really knows that much about spider's diseases, so we don't know what they get.

They don't get impatient doing the hokey-cokey. Just simply confused. You know, the song goes "you put your left leg in..." - the spiders look down, and they've got 4 to choose from! Oh, the indecision.

The physics of seatbelts is quite simple, newtonian mechanics, at it's heart. Inerital mechanics and moving body interaction, skeletal dynamics, Newton's 3 laws and some fairly comprehensive materials science ought to see you right.

You should get up 25 minutes after you wake up, or 10 minutes before you need a wee, whichever comes first.

Hope that answers your questions enough that you can sleep at night.

Jonman
the lil' pie fairy
dear jonman,

what would we do if there was an abundance of pigs running around the country?

why do they call lipstick 'lipstick' when it doesn't stick your lips together?

which came first, the roast dinner or the omelette?

yours curiously,
a motley collection of bored 6th form students
WeeJ
Jonman my dear.

Will we ever get to see a picture of the front of your head? wink.gif

Yours in querie.

Jennie on toast
x
Jonman
QUOTE (the lil' pie fairy @ Nov 25 2003, 01:56 AM)
dear jonman,

what would we do if there was an abundance of pigs running around the country?

why do they call lipstick 'lipstick' when it doesn't stick your lips together?

which came first, the roast dinner or the omelette?

yours curiously,
a motley collection of bored 6th form students

Here we go...

- we'd eat a lot more pork pies. Mmm. pork pies. That'd learn them dastardly pigs, swanning about like they're more equal that us....

- lipstick was invented by a French rennaisance socialite by the name of Maquite de Grenier, who was cursed with an extremely garrulous wife. His original formula for lipstick literally stuck her lips together, so she couldn't talk his ear off so much. The idea was considered so good that it became the fashion in those mysogenisitic times for all members of high-society to stick their wives lips together so that they could get a bit of peace and quiet. Over the years, as the women's rights movement made steps forward, the fashion has evolved such that the lips are no longer stuck together.

- The roast dinner clearly came first. You know, cavemen, sitting around a bit fire with an entire mammoth on a spit? The invention of the frying pan did come till much later, when a clever caveman by the name of Tefal came up with the idea while trying to cook fried rice by hand.

Hope that clears up your 6th forum confusions....

Jonman
Jonman
QUOTE (WeeJ @ Nov 25 2003, 05:24 AM)
Jonman my dear.

Will we ever get to see a picture of the front of your head? wink.gif

Yours in querie.

Jennie on toast
x

Mmm, toast....



Happy now. That's the view off my balcony, that is. Nice innit?
Oni Usagi
Dear Jonman,

Are you sure that's you? I'd been informed that you did not have a nose

sincerely,

nosey
Jonman
QUOTE (Oni Usagi @ Nov 25 2003, 11:05 AM)
Dear Jonman,

Are you sure that's you? I'd been informed that you did not have a nose

sincerely,

nosey

It's amazing how far the art of prothesis has come these days.
Jaq
Dear Jonman

Why? No seriously... you seem to have all the answers. So, why?

Jaq
Pikasyuu
Dear Jonman -

People have rituals to cheer them up. Not normal ones like a bath or a movie or an evening out with friends, but some very odd rituals. Have you any of these said rituals? What are they?

- syuukake

PS - You have lovely eyebrows.
the lil' pie fairy
dear font of all wisdom commonly referred to by the mortal name of jon,

why do i have ten fingers? why not fifteen, or nine? which would be more fun.
how did stupid nasa experts not realise the foam was the thing which blew a hole in the space shuttle?
when is the world going to end next?
who invented nail varnish?
where is the centre of the world?
what is the name of the place where your balcony view is?

yours randomly,

pie lover xx
Sir Psycho Sexy
Dear Jonman

Are you any good at tetris, there is a chinese takeaway near commie's house that allows you to try and fit as much food into a plastic container for a set price, is there a technique we can use to fit the maximum amount of chinese food into a tub while still allowing the lid to close, perhaps there are ratios as to how much pork and chicken compress when the lid is applied?

SPS (and Commie)
Zesty
dear jonman:

How many parakeets is too many parakeets? *if that makes any sense rolleyes.gif *
WeeJ
QUOTE (Jonman @ Nov 25 2003, 05:58 PM)
QUOTE (WeeJ @ Nov 25 2003, 05:24 AM)
Jonman my dear.

Will we ever get to see a picture of the front of your head? wink.gif

Yours in querie.

Jennie on toast
x

Mmm, toast....



Happy now. That's the view off my balcony, that is. Nice innit?

Dear Jonman,

Where'd you get the 'new shades from'?

And I must say, the front of your head is a delight to the eyes.
So, do you actualy have the letter 'J' shaved on the back of your bonce?


Jennie
x
Sir Psycho Sexy
Dear Jonman,
Where are you? i have more electronics type questions for you! namely:
Whats the difference between and open and closed loop gain?
Why do we use the closed loop circuit for amplification?
What are the properties of operational amplifiers?

I swear if they taught us stuff it'd be a much better course >_>

SPS
Starfish
Dear Jonman,


When you know it's time to go, how do you leave? sad.gif
LoLo
QUOTE (Jonman @ Nov 17 2003, 11:53 AM)
QUOTE (LoLo @ Nov 17 2003, 08:14 AM)
Dear Jonman,

My job seems to be wanting to promote me and I don't want to be promoted.  I've tried slowing down the pace, sitting on the counters, talking on their phone, sitting on the counters talking on their phone, and yet they still talk about it.  Any advice in getting them to stop wanting to promote me?

Sincerely,
Trying damn hard to be lazy.

Right up my alley this one. Simple. Screw around at work some more to make it totally clear that you're not promotable material. Assuming you're still on the cancer sticks, take ciggie breaks every 10 minutes, take 2 hour lunch breaks. Turn up late and leave early. Be as lazy as possible. Dress messy.

Just make sure you stay on the right side of the line that would otherwise make you sackable.

Alternatively, take more abstract measures. Be a bit of a loon. Talk to people that aren't there. Carry bizarre things around (e.g. toilet paper) for no reason. Claim it's your birthday every third day. Call everyone you work with Jeff. Including all the plants at work.

Dear Jonman,

I took your advice and started calling everyone Jeff at work. It backfired. Now everyone else is calling everyone else Jeff at work. When someone doesn't get it, they say, "It's a Laura thing," and the other person just nods laughs and starts calling other people Jeff. What now Sir Jon of Man?

Sincerely,
Can't seem to do anything right, or is that can't do anything wrong?
Polocrunch
Madam Jonman,

How does one acquire Gaydar?


Yours until the warranty runs out,

Alex
WeeJ
Jonman,

In all seriousness...if Elmo and the Cookie monster were to have a scrap outside a pub at 11.30 at night, who be the triumphant victor?



Yours with puppet strings,

The wee one.
Jonman
QUOTE (Jaq @ Nov 25 2003, 03:50 PM)
Dear Jonman

Why?  No seriously...  you seem to have all the answers.  So, why?

Jaq

Blimey. I let this lot get away from me a bit.

Right then Jaq-y, medear, meluv, me ould cuppa cha.

If you were an irrascible 3 year old, I'd just simply tell you "because I said so". But if memory serves, you're not.

So the real answer lies buried in a load of quantum physics (flavoured quarks, n-dimensional sub-quark strings, primordial soups (mmm, soup), and other iddy-biddy bits of stuff that are too small to pick up with chopsticks). But that's all really difficult, and even if I did understand it, I'd probably have to resort to complicated math to explain it, and I haven't a Scooby Doo how to make all the squiggly lines that would be necessary on me computer.

Anyway, a bunch of folk figured it out in olden times, when men had enormous beards, and women walked around with their boobs out, but, like a massive cosmic game of chinese whispers that never gets boring, it's been misquoted, misunderstood, mistranslated and generally screwed with until there's a whole load of different folk who'll swear blind that they know what it is, honest, and all you need to do is send cash to their TV ministry (Visa, Mastercard, Amercian Express, and small Catholic boys accepted) and they'll clue you in on it.

Now, if I were to reveal the real answer, that would put that bunch of charlatans out of business. Not a bad thing you might think, but oh yes it is. Because they'd all need to find new jobs. Sure, half of them would go into politics, and what difference is another bunch of lying two-faced corrupt old men in expensive suits going to make there, but the rest will have to find jobs in the real world. Imagine them working as car salesmen, eh? You'd walk off that lot having sold your left testicle/ovary (delete as applicable) to finance the purchase of a car so old that it requires a young chap to walk in front of it waving a red flag. And let's not even consider them working as doctors. Or dentists even. Eeeek!

So, by not telling you, I'm doing you a favour really. What a nice guy I am, eh?
Jonman
QUOTE (syuu @ Nov 30 2003, 06:43 PM)
Dear Jonman -

People have rituals to cheer them up. Not normal ones like a bath or a movie or an evening out with friends, but some very odd rituals. Have you any of these said rituals? What are they?

- syuukake

PS - You have lovely eyebrows.

Yeah, or course I do Syuukake (dodgy name that, very dodgy)

They're not so ritualised with me, but if I'm feeling down, I generally need to immerse myself in some activity and lose myself in it. A mammoth videogame session is always a good thing. Just sitting down on my lonesome with a raft of games, a six pack of beers and muchos volume. I've not got any really bizarre happy-making rituals like shoving nails through my own nutsacs or anything. And hopefully, I never will.

Thanks for the compliment - it takes me ages to correctly coiffure them in the morning.
Jonman
QUOTE (the lil' pie fairy @ Dec 1 2003, 06:45 AM)
dear font of all wisdom commonly referred to by the mortal name of jon,

why do i have ten fingers? why not fifteen, or nine? which would be more fun.
how did stupid nasa experts not realise the foam was the thing which blew a hole in the space shuttle?
when is the world going to end next?
who invented nail varnish?
where is the centre of the world?
what is the name of the place where your balcony view is?

yours randomly,

pie lover xx

Just be thankful you've got ten fingers, young whippersnapper. I used to work with a guy who had two thumbs on one hand. No, seriously, it's true. Apparently, he had a hard time of it at school, being picked on as the freak kid. I reckoned that he must kicked some serious ass at Tekken, though. Think of the speed at which he could achieve combos!

Dunno. I've stopped talking to the NASA folks after that time they gave me a monkey's space-suit for Christmas. Cheeky gits.

The world is officially going to end on Junetember the twenty-fourteenth 2354. So no need to worry.

Apparently, the practice of painting finger nails originated in the harem of Topkapi Palace in Istanbul. Concubines would paint their nails red to indicate to the sultan when they were having their periods, thus sparing him any embarrassment.

The centre of the world is right where I'm sitting. Technically, that's the centre of the universe, 'cos it all revolves around me. OK?

My balcony is looks out over Elliot Bay and downtown Seattle, Washington, USA. Can't remember what those mountains in the distance are, it's looking NW from Seattle though - any geography folks around? Could be the Olympics.
Jonman
QUOTE (Sir_Psycho_Sexy @ Dec 1 2003, 08:51 AM)
Dear Jonman

Are you any good at tetris, there is a chinese takeaway near commie's house that allows you to try and fit as much food into a plastic container for a set price, is there a technique we can use to fit the maximum amount of chinese food into a tub while still allowing the lid to close, perhaps there are ratios as to how much pork and chicken compress when the lid is applied?

SPS (and Commie)

Dear SPS and Commie.

Good student question - I like your style.

As it happens, I kick ass at Tetris, but the same technique doesn't apply, as Chinese food comes in many more shapes, has sauce and is porous. Which leads me to speculate that maybe I could come up with a new version - ChineseTris, that incorporates these concepts.

Anyway, what you want to do is put a thin layer of rice on the bottom, then put meat with sauce on the top of that - the sauce will soak down into the rice, then squidge it all down. Avoid chicken wings and satay, as the bones and skewers take up precious space. Pile noodles on top, as they'll compress nicely when you jam the lid down.
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