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Mr Fuzzy
Noooo! Don't make my chopper redundant!
jicama
QUOTE (Jonman @ Dec 11 2003, 02:12 PM)
QUOTE (jicama @ Dec 10 2003, 01:40 PM)
do i need a new toque?

Definitely. You should never have a toque older than twice your height in inches.

Tell you what, while you're there, can you pick me up a new snagglybanjle? The wheels've fallen off my one.

your wish is my command! within reason.

now i've got a question about my parents. jaq is probably better qualified to answer it as she knows them, but she's not here. so here it is:

should my brother and i get mom and dad a replica of bilbo/frodo's sting for christmas, or get them seperate presents? i guess it's a question of quality vs. quantity, but it's also a question of who we're really buying the sword for. dad's a fan, but mom's more of a fanatic, so they'll both like it, but she'll like it a lot more ya know?
Jonman
QUOTE (Tigersong @ Dec 12 2003, 02:42 PM)
QUOTE (Jonman @ Dec 12 2003, 09:00 AM)
A couple of bits of advice if you're going to try this - don't be afraid of being selective - there's no point meeting some bloke if his profile indicates that he's a mentalist/nazi/murderer/weirdo/boring sod.

Jonman, Jonman, what can I say?

You're making value judgments on the mentalist/nazi/murderer/weirdo/boring crowd.

What if poor LoLo wants to meet a mentalist/nazi/murderer/weirdo/boring sod? It could make for much more interesting dates!

It's a fair point. But here's my comeback....

From reading Lolo's previous posts about dating fruitloops, I'm pretty sure that's she's not after another wingnut. Mind you, if she is after a man of dubious morality and character traits, what better place to meet one than the internet? wink.gif
Jonman
QUOTE (syuu @ Dec 12 2003, 02:46 PM)
Dear Jonman -

Happy Holidays!

I was just having a conversation with Missy about girls and a certain envy, but she reassured me that there's a lot going down in the way of laser penii, and that women will soon be able to do a whole lot more with said laser penii. Apparently the technology is booming.

Do you think perhaps they would one day talk?

Sincerely,
I make no sense

blink.gif

Well, I must confess, I've never looked back since the day I had the laser installed in mine. I tell you, shadow-bunnies have never been so fun! And it also means that I can pretend I'm Luke Skywalker when I'm having a wee. Which is clearly a bonus.

As for the ladies though, I dunno - a lass with a John Thomas, laser or otherwise, really puts me off my corn flakes. Still, horses for courses, I suppose.

I'm totally unconvinced by the talking idea though. I mean, it'd put you off your stroke wouldn't it?
Jonman
QUOTE (jicama @ Dec 12 2003, 11:33 PM)
QUOTE (Jonman @ Dec 11 2003, 02:12 PM)
QUOTE (jicama @ Dec 10 2003, 01:40 PM)
do i need a new toque?

Definitely. You should never have a toque older than twice your height in inches.

Tell you what, while you're there, can you pick me up a new snagglybanjle? The wheels've fallen off my one.

your wish is my command! within reason.

now i've got a question about my parents. jaq is probably better qualified to answer it as she knows them, but she's not here. so here it is:

should my brother and i get mom and dad a replica of bilbo/frodo's sting for christmas, or get them seperate presents? i guess it's a question of quality vs. quantity, but it's also a question of who we're really buying the sword for. dad's a fan, but mom's more of a fanatic, so they'll both like it, but she'll like it a lot more ya know?

I guess you could go ahead with the sword. I mean, getting someone a sword for christmas is clearly fantasticly cool.

If you really think that your dad'll be a bit miffed with it, you could always get him something else cheap and cheerful, you know, like a bag of last week's donuts, or a Magic Tree ™.
jicama
well i did get him an electric nose hair trimmer, does that work?

last year he went on and on about how it was the perfect gift- practical, and if you get it engraved, personal too! and they come pre-gift wrapped.

so that's what i bought him.

stop looking at me like that.
jicama
ok, i've got a new christmas dilema for you.

my mom usually gets the christmas blues, but this year she's been... well, jovial! not one "merry $^#@* christmas!" or "santa can #%%&# in the @$^^#@* with %^#@#$%@ and a *^$@%*&! and that goes for rudolph too!!!" have passed her lips. in fact she's been smiling and saying how happy she is! she even did a christmas-is-coming happy dance! what's the deal?! did the ghosts of christmas past visit her? did an angel get it's wings? is dad drugging her food? is she a pod person?! what's happened to my christmas hating mommy?! it's not that i'm complaining, i just wanna know what to do so she's this much fun next year!
LoLo
Dear Jonman,

Do you know of any reported cases of people having spaghetti noodles growing from their armpits? If so how was this resolved? Does the body odor add that extra little tang needed sometimes to a bland spaghetti sauce?

Sincerely,
Curious Cook
gerbilfromhell
sorry, jicama, but huh.gif

dear jonman:
serious question here. be warned tongue.gif

ok, so there're these two dogs that my dog HATES. i mean hates. really, really, hates. and so he hates everyone that has their smell (i.e. the owners+dog walker). so, one day, the owner, knowing full well how much my dog wanted to rip his throat out (well, not literally. then again, my dog REALLY hates him...) walked right over to my dog and put his hand out to try and pet him. or provoke him, which, considering what's been happening, is more likely. naturally, my dog snapped at him. so then he goes off ranting and raving about how my dog is vicious (and those of you who've seen my dog would know he's anything but that. i mean, look at his face! seriously, e-mail me and i'll show you. he just doesn't like this one guy) and wants to put a muzzle on him.

now, two nights ago, i'm talking to my doorman. he has to go get a cab for someone, and asks me to wait a second (he wanted to ask my something). so, as i'm waiting there, the person in question walks in. no reaction from my dog at that time. so then he stands ONE F*CKING STEP AWAY FROM HIM AND JUST STOPS! and then starts talking to the other doorman on duty. saying something about 'i got a parking space' or some stupid sh*t like that that could be said from a few steps CLOSER to said doorman and a few steps FURTHER away from the dog he knows (but can't accept) hates him. so my dog lunges at him. i THOUGHT i caught him just in time, but afterwards he's holding his groin area (just above the privates). then he goes REALLY ranty and ravy. of course, no one bothered to tell me who he was or anything... as in 'goddamit i've had it with this dog' and storming off. stupid pr*ck. he just can't accept that there's a single dog in the world that doesn't love him.

of course, NYC laws don't care if your dog is pretty small, a puppy, practically harmless, nice to everyone but one person, or if the person provoked the dog (or is just lying outright. he even admitted there was no lasting 'wound'. even though, when my dog really bites, it won't kill you or anything, but i'll last for a bit. if he was REALLY bitten, he could prove it. lying f*ck that he is). so, now he's ordered a muzzle put on my dog. joy. at least he's not ordering my dog killed (which they can do here). so my question is: if he does end up ordering my dog put down, and i take him to some person in another country, can they get him out of that country and back into the USA?

thanks,

dog lover

edit: well, i DID have another solution. that is, until i realized that the back elevator in my apartment doesn't work in late nights/really early mornings, so we can't use it all the time. then again, i shouldn't be complaining, considering the tolerance level of dogs in this city.

mostly, this post was just a rant at this guy for not having the common sense to at least walk another two steps away from my dog before talking to my doorman about his parking space. (because my dog didn't react at all for about 10-ish seconds.... it's weird, he only reacts to these people some times. when he started yelling at my mom about my dog (when she was walking him), he just sat there.....) especially since the doorman was about 10 steps away from him.
Jonman
QUOTE (jicama @ Dec 13 2003, 06:35 PM)
well i did get him an electric nose hair trimmer, does that work?

last year he went on and on about how it was the perfect gift- practical, and if you get it engraved, personal too! and they come pre-gift wrapped.

so that's what i bought him.

stop looking at me like that.

Trust me, anything that stops nose hair is a blessing.

Hairy noses are not a good thing, least of all at chrimble. Go for it.

As for your mum, who cares why she's on the chrimbo happy train - go with it, and enjoy your fetive face-stuffings.
Jonman
QUOTE (LoLo @ Dec 13 2003, 06:54 PM)
Dear Jonman,

Do you know of any reported cases of people having spaghetti noodles growing from their armpits? If so how was this resolved? Does the body odor add that extra little tang needed sometimes to a bland spaghetti sauce?

Sincerely,
Curious Cook

Sure. In the UK, we have a brand of instant noodle called Pot Noodles. They're actually harvested from the armpits of the homeless and down&outs. That's why they taste like nothing else on this great good planet.
Jonman
QUOTE (gerbilfromhell @ Dec 13 2003, 07:06 PM)
dear jonman:
serious question here. be warned tongue.gif

dog stufff... <snip>

thanks,

worried dog lover

Well, sorry to say it Gerb, but it sounds to me like your dog is indeed attacking without provokation. It's not like this guy is pulling the dog's tail or anything, he's just walking past it.

And if it was me that got attacked by your dog, I've have the hairy little bugger put down in a jiffy.

It's all well and good to say that your dog has a heart of gold, but clearly, he doesn't and as you say, if he'll attack anything that smells of these other dogs, then he's a danger to their owners, and as such, needs to be muzzled when in places where those folk are likely to be.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but it's pretty cut'n'dried to me.

Dog attacks person --> dog needs to be stopped from doing that in future, by muzzle or lethal injection.



Jonman, as you can probably tell, is not a doggy person.
LoLo
Estimado Jonman,

¿Cuántos ojos tiene un asno?

Gracias, LoLo
the lil' pie fairy
dear onmanjay,

my friend wants to know about space. what does it expand into, what's outside it, etc etc...that was the question she wants to ask you.

yours, pie (or, her friend katie)

p.s. she likes your hair in the photo biggrin.gif
Jonman
QUOTE (LoLo @ Dec 14 2003, 01:53 PM)
Estimado Jonman,

¿Cuántos ojos tiene un asno?

Gracias, LoLo

*looks panicked*

Umm, about half past 3.

*runs*
Jonman
QUOTE (the lil' pie fairy @ Dec 15 2003, 04:01 AM)
dear onmanjay,

my friend wants to know about space. what does it expand into, what's outside it, etc etc...that was the question she wants to ask you.

yours, pie (or, her friend katie)

p.s. she likes your hair in the photo biggrin.gif

Go Physics...it's your birthday

*gyrates*

*ahem*

I nearly did my degree in physics - I'm still unsure whether it was a lucky escape of not. I guess in the entire scheme of things, probably, as I wouldn't be here (IRL) doing all the fun stuff I'm doing.

Anyway, I've always liked the stuff because it has the potential to blow your mind with what, at first glimpse, look like simple concepts, but are actually utterly brain-goggling.

Like this for instance. See, if the universe is expanding, and started off as an infinitessimally small bit of everything that went boom, then that logically implies that it's finite in size. With me so far? But, of course, the universe is expanding at the speed of light, and one of the truisms of physics that's passed into the realm of common knowledge (and sci-fi, of course) is that nothing can go faster than the speed of light. Let's imagine the universe as an inflating balloon. So, the speed that the skin of balloon is moving outwards at is the fastest anything can go. Let's imagine a pin inside the balloon - even if we move that pin as fast as it'll possibly go towards the skin of the balloon, it'll never catch up and pop the balloon, because the fastest it can go is only as fast as the skin is moving away from it.

So, on the one hand, what's outside the universe is moot, as nothing can never get there.

On a more theroetical level, what's outside the universe is Nothing (note the capital). Not just a big empty space, because there isn't any space. There won't be any space, or any time, as there isn't a framework for space or time to exist in. Let's call that framework spacetime (see what I did there?). There isn't any spacetime outside of the universe, and there IS inside the universe. It's here that our analogy of the expanding balloon breaks down, as it only works in the context of the balloon having a space to expand into. And the universe doesn't do that. It also raises an interesting question of what the conditions are at the very boundary of the expanding universe (which is travelling at the speed of light which Relativity tells us that that's a pretty loony condition to be in anyway), where spacetime is being phenomenally stretched.

Crazy beans, innit? That's what really interested me about physics to begin with - these mad, insane, totally non-intuitive things going on, and half the time, no-one really knows what the truth is, it's just a best guess. The other half of the time, no-one's got a clue.
Phyllis
Dear Jonman,

The craziest thing happened when my husband was at work...twice. The thing was basically the same both times, only the second time more people saw it. What happened was someone walked by his work area, then little *pops* were heard by everyone, and little sparks appeared near the person. After it was over, there was no evidence to be found (like fireworks places by a mischevious prankster or something), but everyone could smell smoke.

I can't think of an explanation for this. Can you?

Confusedly Yours,
Cand.
CommieBastard
QUOTE (Jonman @ Dec 15 2003, 02:13 PM)
But, of course, the universe is expanding at the speed of light, and one of the truisms of physics that's passed into the realm of common knowledge (and sci-fi, of course) is that nothing can go faster than the speed of light.

Ahem. The most recent issue of New Scientist revealed to me that, in fact, it's only physical objects that can't travel faster than the speed of light. The fabric of space itself can expand at whatever rate it damn well pleases. The Universe has expanded at a speed far faster than the speed of light, as evidenced by the fact that it's considerably bigger than it would be had it been limited by Einsteinian theory.
Jonman
QUOTE (candice @ Dec 15 2003, 09:56 AM)
Dear Jonman,

The craziest thing happened when my husband was at work...twice. The thing was basically the same both times, only the second time more people saw it. What happened was someone walked by his work area, then little *pops* were heard by everyone, and little sparks appeared near the person. After it was over, there was no evidence to be found (like fireworks places by a mischevious prankster or something), but everyone could smell smoke.

I can't think of an explanation for this. Can you?

Confusedly Yours,
Cand.

Possible explanations:

A prankster (possibly your husband?) took the insides out of Fun Snaps (you remember those little paper wraps that are filled with gunpowder? You throw them on the ground and they go 'pop') and sprinkled it on the carpet. When someone walks over it, it'll be like several of them going off at once.

Severe (and I mean, severe), static buildup and discharge, although that wouldn't explain the smoke smell...

Your husband doesn't share an office with David Copperfield/Siegfried & Roy/Penn & Teller does he?
Jonman
QUOTE (CommieBastard @ Dec 15 2003, 11:14 AM)
QUOTE (Jonman @ Dec 15 2003, 02:13 PM)
But, of course, the universe is expanding at the speed of light, and one of the truisms of physics that's passed into the realm of common knowledge (and sci-fi, of course) is that nothing can go faster than the speed of light.

Ahem. The most recent issue of New Scientist revealed to me that, in fact, it's only physical objects that can't travel faster than the speed of light. The fabric of space itself can expand at whatever rate it damn well pleases. The Universe has expanded at a speed far faster than the speed of light, as evidenced by the fact that it's considerably bigger than it would be had it been limited by Einsteinian theory.

Ah, well, there you go then. That'll learn me for getting my facts from Old Scientist then, won't it now?

Good job I didn't do physics at uni too!
WeeJ
Jonman, you best you smile.gif

I'm off to Florida for two weeks on Christmas day.
What should I expect of America?

Yours in excitment,

Jennie
x
Mr Fuzzy
QUOTE (Jonman @ Dec 15 2003, 06:36 PM)
QUOTE (candice @ Dec 15 2003, 09:56 AM)
Dear Jonman,

The craziest thing happened when my husband was at work...twice.  The thing was basically the same both times, only the second time more people saw it.  What happened was someone walked by his work area, then little *pops* were heard by everyone, and little sparks appeared near the person.  After it was over, there was no evidence to be found (like fireworks places by a mischevious prankster or something), but everyone could smell smoke.

I can't think of an explanation for this.  Can you?

Confusedly Yours,
Cand.

Possible explanations:

A prankster (possibly your husband?) took the insides out of Fun Snaps (you remember those little paper wraps that are filled with gunpowder? You throw them on the ground and they go 'pop') and sprinkled it on the carpet. When someone walks over it, it'll be like several of them going off at once.

Severe (and I mean, severe), static buildup and discharge, although that wouldn't explain the smoke smell...

Your husband doesn't share an office with David Copperfield/Siegfried & Roy/Penn & Teller does he?

I have another possibility. If you treat iodine crystals with ammonia you can make a contact explosive which is easily spread on the floor when wet. After it dries it is very sensitive.
Mr Fuzzy
Dear Jonman,

Spontaneous combustion: The answer for the terminally cynical?


Yours, Grah.
CrissiLove
Dear Jonman,

A thread that you started brought this up, so I figured I should pester you with my question instead of Jaq.... hehe

Why is it that girls are judged more on their bodies than guys are? That's just wrong. Do you think there's any chance of this changing?

Thank you,
Not happy with guys dry.gif
Jonman
QUOTE (WeeJ @ Dec 15 2003, 03:00 PM)
Jonman, you best you smile.gif

I'm off to Florida for two weeks on Christmas day.
What should I expect of America?

Yours in excitment,

Jennie
x

Well, I'm not too sure about those crazy East Coasters, it's kind of ike asking a Scouser what London'll be like.

My understanding of Florida is:

Swamps.
Crocodiles.
Disneyland/world, whichever one it is.
Hot.


However, here's the universal truisms I've found across the states.

Guys will become instantly horny when they hear your accent.
Girls will become instantly horny/hateful (gender-preference dependant).

Nah, I'm only joking, although there is an element of truth to it. Seriously though, unless you're going to Touristville, FL, be prepared to get odd looks from people when you talk to them for the first time. There'll be a second and a half long pause (literally) while they figure out that "you ain't from 'round here", then they'll be lovely. I might suggest making a set of summary cards, so you can just hand them to people that you meet for the first time. I swear to god, I must have answered the same set of questions about a billion times in the last year. All asked by ever so friendly and nice people, it must be said, but there you go.

Oh, and bring your own teabags, they couldn't make a decent brew if their lives depended on it. I mean, iced tea's all well and good, but it just ain't PG.

Your Anglo-American correspondant,
Jonman
Jonman
QUOTE (Mr Fuzzy @ Dec 15 2003, 03:14 PM)
Dear Jonman,

Spontaneous combustion: The answer for the terminally cynical?


Yours, Grah.

What, as in it only happens to the terminally cynical? I can just imagine the TV ads...

"Do you find yourself critically raising a single eyebrow whenever friends talk about the latest conspiracy theory? New, improved spontaneous combustion could be the answer you've been looking for! Now it's so spontaneous, even you won't see it coming! Side effects may include charred underpants and a sticky residue that not even momma with the magic of clorox can shift.

Otherwise, the answer about spontaneous combustion for the teminally cynical is...

*raises left eyebrow*
Jonman
QUOTE (CrissiLove @ Dec 15 2003, 03:15 PM)
Dear Jonman,

A thread that you started brought this up, so I figured I should pester you with my question instead of Jaq.... hehe

Why is it that girls are judged more on their bodies than guys are? That's just wrong. Do you think there's any chance of this changing?

Thank you,
Not happy with guys dry.gif

Ah, that's an easy one with a simple answer.

Here's why.

Picture an average naked women..... graceful curves, smooth surfaces and gravity working on all the nice fat.

Picture an average naked guy...... gravity working on the bits that look like a divine afterthought, hair where there should not be hair, and bulgy bits all over the place that look out of place.

See, the female form is a thing of beauty. The male form was obviously tacked together without much thought. Hence, the beauty of said female form is idolised, where as men are admired for the more ephemeral traits (courage, bravery etc) to make up for the patently ludicrous design of their bodies.

Thinking of naked chicks,
Jonman
the lil' pie fairy
dear liquidised encyclopaedia man,

why did people decide white was good and black was bad?????

and, is it possible to one day become as knowledgeable as yourself??

and finally, is it a good idea to get some absinthe for my 17th b-day partay on saturday biggrin.gif

yours in anticipation of complete leglessness in a short skirt and fishnets, pie xxx
Mata
I'll get this one (since I'm trying to distract myself from doing any work).

White = good, black = bad is a pretty simple one. That comes from night being the time that you couldn't see the sabre tooth tiger creeping up on you, hence it being associated with scary bad things, white just got to be 'good' by default really.

I have to say, the idea of being legless and trying to wear fishnets at the same time seems like a contradiction in terms to me... Absinthe is only really good if you can be bothered to do the whole business with sugar, fire and teaspoons, otherwise you're best off with something else. If it's your 17th and you're definitely going to be drinking, I'd recommend avoiding spirits. The alcohol content is too high and you'll just end up feeling really sick too early in the night. Lots of people seem to like cider when they're teenagers. I really don't like it much personally, but it's a longer drink than a spirit so you'll probably have a better night as a result.

As for becoming as knowledgable as Jon... Well, I think the universe would probably explode if that happened. *nods*
LoLo
Dear Jonman,

Is it detrimental to ones health to eat breakfast for dinner and dinner for breakfast? Is not then, how about eating them both at once for both meals?

Sincerely,
Hungry
Pixelgoth
Another side effect of spontaneous combustion is random body parts (usuallt feet in tartan slippers) left lying around laugh.gif

I agree with Jonman about the female and male body thing. Women are so much nicer to look at. Although I have no problem with men's bodies either I think asthetically (sp?) women are much prettier smile.gif
the lil' pie fairy
QUOTE (Mata @ Dec 17 2003, 03:28 PM)
I have to say, the idea of being legless and trying to wear fishnets at the same time seems like a contradiction in terms to me... Absinthe is only really good if you can be bothered to do the whole business with sugar, fire and teaspoons, otherwise you're best off with something else. If it's your 17th and you're definitely going to be drinking, I'd recommend avoiding spirits. The alcohol content is too high and you'll just end up feeling really sick too early in the night. Lots of people seem to like cider when they're teenagers. I really don't like it much personally, but it's a longer drink than a spirit so you'll probably have a better night as a result.

As for becoming as knowledgable as Jon... Well, I think the universe would probably explode if that happened. *nods*

not for me, at request of certain people. won't touch spirits myself, not for a while ph34r.gif it wasn't fun that night.
and yes, we'd do the whole business...i'll canvas more opinion...
hating cider. some good old beer will do, and some colourful alcohol lemonadey thingies as we say...plus, my mum's buying it in, i don't think she'd pick up a bottle of absinthe and put it in the basket!! laugh.gif

explode though?? i'll stick to being random.

cheers mata xx
FurryMammal
Dear Jonman,

Through a long and harrowing story of spoons and porpoises (plus a nifty disguise), I'm now in the ownership of several thousand pounds. I was thinking about building a new PC from scratch, seeing as this is a bust family one, yet nobody wants to get rid of it. I am merely sixteen, and i don't know the slightest about computer hardware or the prices. I'm going to be looking for a top-end performance computer too. A mate of mine will be helping with the construction, but what prices am I looking at? Including keyboard, mouse, speakers and the rest. I just don't have a clue about the hardware.

Richboy Moneybags
WeeJ
QUOTE (Jonman @ Dec 16 2003, 03:00 AM)
See, the female form is a thing of beauty. The male form was obviously tacked together without much thought. Hence, the beauty of said female form is idolised, where as men are admired for the more ephemeral traits (courage, bravery etc) to make up for the patently ludicrous design of their bodies.

Aaah. the reason why there are so many gay/bisexual birds all over the world smile.gif
Men can look hot whilst naked, but nearly as hot as nudey ladies smile.gif
Jonman
QUOTE (Mata @ Dec 17 2003, 08:28 AM)
I'll get this one (since I'm trying to distract myself from doing any work).

White = good, black = bad is a pretty simple one. That comes from night being the time that you couldn't see the sabre tooth tiger creeping up on you, hence it being associated with scary bad things, white just got to be 'good' by default really.

Nah, it's all to do with Star Wars, see? Darth Vader wears black, and he's bad. Luke Skywalker? In white (except in Return, when he wear's black 'cos he's btichin' hard).

Like so many things, it's all George Lucas' fault.
Jonman
QUOTE (LoLo @ Dec 17 2003, 08:48 AM)
Dear Jonman,

Is it detrimental to ones health to eat breakfast for dinner and dinner for breakfast? Is not then, how about eating them both at once for both meals?

Sincerely,
Hungry

Mmmm, corn flakes with gravy. Sounds like a plan to me.
Jonman
QUOTE (FurryMammal @ Dec 17 2003, 10:25 AM)
Dear Jonman,

Through a long and harrowing story of spoons and porpoises (plus a nifty disguise), I'm now in the ownership of several thousand pounds. I was thinking about building a new PC from scratch, seeing as this is a bust family one, yet nobody wants to get rid of it. I am merely sixteen, and i don't know the slightest about computer hardware or the prices. I'm going to be looking for a top-end performance computer too. A mate of mine will be helping with the construction, but what prices am I looking at? Including keyboard, mouse, speakers and the rest. I just don't have a clue about the hardware.

Richboy Moneybags

Don't ask me pal, I haven't got a scoob. Google it, I do know that there's some really good resources for building your own PC online, and from what I understand, it's as easy as falling off the the proverbial log. Just don't electrocute yourself, aiii?
CommieBastard
QUOTE (Mata @ Dec 17 2003, 03:28 PM)
Lots of people seem to like cider when they're teenagers.

And there was me thinking it was just me. I'm the only adolescent I know that drinks the stuff - all my "peers" drink lager (blech), alcopops (blech except in the case of Smirnoff Ice, which is quite tasty) or spirits (mostly blech except for a few choice examples).
Jonman
QUOTE (CommieBastard @ Dec 17 2003, 02:55 PM)
QUOTE (Mata @ Dec 17 2003, 03:28 PM)
Lots of people seem to like cider when they're teenagers.

And there was me thinking it was just me. I'm the only adolescent I know that drinks the stuff - all my "peers" drink lager (blech), alcopops (blech except in the case of Smirnoff Ice, which is quite tasty) or spirits (mostly blech except for a few choice examples).

Cider. urgh. Too many bad memories. A week's camping trip in Cornwall aged 17 learnt me that scrumpy is the liquid form of evil.

I'm officially old now, as a nice glass of merlot sets me up a good'un.
the lil' pie fairy
dear wisdomly font,

are you allowed to post pudding to america from england, and if so under what conditions and for how much etc etc?? huh.gif

yours, a wondering pie and narth xxx
Pixelgoth
QUOTE (CommieBastard @ Dec 17 2003, 09:55 PM)
QUOTE (Mata @ Dec 17 2003, 03:28 PM)
Lots of people seem to like cider when they're teenagers.

And there was me thinking it was just me. I'm the only adolescent I know that drinks the stuff - all my "peers" drink lager (blech), alcopops (blech except in the case of Smirnoff Ice, which is quite tasty) or spirits (mostly blech except for a few choice examples).

I still drink cider now (with black in it of course biggrin.gif) and it's been 8 years since I was a teenager. Who says only teenagers have to drink it. It's known as a student drink as quite a few students drank it when I was at uni. Also most people, when they first discover alcohol, get trashed on cider and decide they never want to see it again (like Jonman!) biggrin.gif
Alanity
I was sent in your direction by commie because I was silly and didn't ask you first.

http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/science/01/01...d.ap/index.html
I just want to try and understand something, how can "the tides, weather and changes in the Earth's core" cause the earths speed to stay the same? I'd assume it would be to do with the sun, other planets, or something else from out therr.
EvilSpork
Dear Jonman,

If I made a bunch of little hand grenades out of 12g CO2 cartridges, and the law found out, would they get involved and how much trouble do you think I would get into?

Sincerely,
A spoon of evilness

PS - Don't worry I'm only using them on air, they are loud happy.gif
Alanity
Spoon, I WANT THAT RAT! Tis so cute. : )
EvilSpork
QUOTE (Alanity @ Jan 1 2004, 10:10 PM)
Spoon, I WANT THAT RAT! Tis so cute. : )

Join the club happy.gif Everybody loves (and wants) Potat he is just that lovable!

Another question..

Dear Jonman,

Why is it people insist you get to know them better when that leads to a "friends only" relationship? They say they want to get to know you better before dating you then you are on an automatic nothing more than friends list, then they turn around and date somebody they don't even know and just met? tongue.gif

Sincerely,
Always stuck as "just a friend"
Mr Fuzzy
Dear Jonman,

Does it cause you to despair when people bump this thread just because they see you online?

Yours,
Malevolantgit.
Jonman
QUOTE (Alanity @ Jan 1 2004, 02:30 PM)
I was sent in your direction by commie because I was silly and didn't ask you first.

http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/science/01/01...d.ap/index.html
I just want to try and understand something, how can "the tides, weather and changes in the Earth's core" cause the earths speed to stay the same? I'd assume it would be to do with the sun, other planets, or something else from out therr.

*dons boffin head*

It's all crazy physics beans I'm sure. I couldn't explain it even if I knew what the answer was, so instead, I'll just make up some mildly amusing claptrap like usual.

Did I just say that out loud? Ooops.

Aaaaaaanyway, haven't you seen the superman film where he flies around the world really fast and turns back time? It's kind of like that, except with tides, the spinningicity of the earth's core (which affects it's electromagnetic field, which in turn will affect (in an iddy-biddy way), it's motion through space, as space has a charge), but the major factor is whether it rained in Belgium. If it did, it meant that a butterfly in China flapped it's wings a short while ago, which is pretty much a sure sign that there's going to be all sorts of crazy stuff happening. They used to have a specially trained butterfly in China that wouldn't flap it's wings, ever, but it must've escaped.

Incidentally, a butterfuly landed on me over the New Year. What was suprising was that I was in Canada and it was bloody freezing. What was less suprising was that I was in a butterfly conservatory. None of them were flying with a Chinese accent though. I checked.
Jonman
QUOTE (EvilSpoon @ Jan 1 2004, 02:48 PM)
Dear Jonman,

If I made a bunch of little hand grenades out of 12g CO2 cartridges, and the law found out, would they get involved and how much trouble do you think I would get into?

Sincerely,
A spoon of evilness

PS - Don't worry I'm only using them on air, they are loud happy.gif

*dons plastic policeman's helmet*

Assuming you weren't doing enything with them that 'disturbed the peace', or was in any way dangerous to anyone, I can't see that they could get you with anything more than trying to scare you, or just giving you a round telling off.

Mind you, if you're in the States, then the Patriot Act probably contains a clause that will allow the police to amputate all of your toes on account of being a suspected terrorist. I suggest wearing steel toecaps.
Jonman
QUOTE (EvilSpoon @ Jan 1 2004, 06:02 PM)
Dear Jonman,

Why is it people insist you get to know them better when that leads to a "friends only" relationship? They say they want to get to know you better before dating you then you are on an automatic nothing more than friends list, then they turn around and date somebody they don't even know and just met? tongue.gif

Sincerely,
Always stuck as "just a friend"

Well, firstly, not all people do.

Having said that, it's usually a good idea to ensure that the person you're about to start dating isn't a complete loon, hence the getting to know you bit.

Cruel though it may sound, I suspect that the reason that you always get stuck in the friend loop is due to your own lack of minerals. If you were to take the plunge, and tell the person that you want to be dating that you really like them early on, but once you've got to know them a bit, then you're set, eh? If you happily go on for weeks at a time just hanging out with them, without showing any romantic interest, then they're bound to only think about you as a friend, aren't they?

It may help if you close your eyes, imagine Dr Phil, and paraphrase the above into a more personally offensive tirade, tinged with a broad Texas accent.
Jonman
QUOTE (Mr Fuzzy @ Jan 4 2004, 01:56 PM)
Dear Jonman,

Does it cause you to despair when people bump this thread just because they see you online?

Yours,
Malevolantgit.

No, it just causes me to dispatch the international invisible ninja meerkats on a death-dealing mission of doom against the evil perpetrators of such an act.

*opens meerkat cage*
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