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Jonman
QUOTE (Pab @ Jul 29 2004, 05:36 AM)
Dear Jonman,

Get a grip, man.

Yours

Nit Picker

(I presume you'll edit the above reply, but it was worth it while it lasts)

Pfft. Blame Billy G and his lying cut'n'paste Clipboard of doom.
Pab
QUOTE (Jonman @ Jul 29 2004, 01:58 PM)
Pfft. Blame Billy G and his lying cut'n'paste Clipboard of doom.

At that, sir, I nod sagely, Rose, merrily, and "Tiiiii-iii-a-iiiiii-me is on mah siiiiide, yes it iiiis ....."
Jonman
QUOTE (candice @ Jul 28 2004, 10:15 PM)
Dearest Jonman,

Hiya. How's things? Right now there is a kitty cat that keeps leaping up and clawing onto the screen of the window behind me. This isn't the first time she has done this. Said kitty also likes to sleep on my sidewalk, and have sex right underneath the window she was just climbing. How do I make her go away? Preferably in the most humane way possible, with the least amount of effort on my part. I'm hoping for some magic kitty-away spray or something.

Yours,
Cand.

Take 2....

I'm good thank-you. Just applied for a job back in Seattle, which is all very exciting.

You could stick a picture of a dog on the window (facing out wards, of course) and play a recording of a dog barking. Better still, dress up as a dog and chase the cat yourself.

I suppose you could just get a dog, but that sounds like less fun. And would involve more pickup of poo.


In all seriousness though, nip down to the toy store, and buy a cheap kids water pistol. Keep it loaded. Whenever the cat comes over, squirt it. Cats HATE being squirted. There's nothing that'll spoil the mood when it's getting it's freak on like a water jet up the jacksie. It'll soon learn that hanging out at your place is no fun.

Job's a good'un.
Jonman
QUOTE (Pab @ Jul 29 2004, 06:09 AM)
QUOTE (Jonman @ Jul 29 2004, 01:58 PM)

Pfft. Blame Billy G and his lying cut'n'paste Clipboard of doom.

At that, sir, I nod sagely, Rose, merrily, and "Tiiiii-iii-a-iiiiii-me is on mah siiiiide, yes it iiiis ....."

I said Billy G, not Kenny G!
Pab
QUOTE (Jonman @ Jul 29 2004, 02:11 PM)
I said Billy G, not Kenny G!

WHERE?!?! ҷ *locks and loads*
Forever Unknown
Me again!

I'm currently sticking at t'job just to see how it goes for the time being, but we've had a staff meeting where Evil Boss set down some rules. In response, I now make sure I take my lunch (as before we all worked through it) because it annoys her (God forbid that I'm legally entitled to it).

But it's so boring here. We're out in the sticks, so if you need to even pop down the shops, you need a car and I don't drive. We're not 'permitted' to take lunches together - cigarette breaks and lunches one at a time. So, what do you suggest I can do to amuse myself for an hour? The more subtly annoying for Evil Boss, the better.
Jonman
QUOTE (Forever Unknown @ Jul 29 2004, 06:54 AM)
Me again!

I'm currently sticking at t'job just to see how it goes for the time being, but we've had a staff meeting where Evil Boss set down some rules. In response, I now make sure I take my lunch (as before we all worked through it) because it annoys her (God forbid that I'm legally entitled to it).

But it's so boring here. We're out in the sticks, so if you need to even pop down the shops, you need a car and I don't drive. We're not 'permitted' to take lunches together - cigarette breaks and lunches one at a time. So, what do you suggest I can do to amuse myself for an hour? The more subtly annoying for Evil Boss, the better.

Two words for you. Game. Boy. Bolt them together into one word, and you've got an instant boss-annoying tactic.

Add a pair of headphones, and you can rock out to in-game music at your desk on your lunch break. Nothing annoys Evil Boss ™ more than people actually enjoying themselves in the office.

If you're skint, have a check on Ebay. I can supply you with a list of must-have games with much lastability if you're interested, as could many other forumites. Suggest starting a game purchase advise thread.
the lil' pie fairy
Dear Jon.

My best friend is a guy. *gasps of shock all round* No, it's quite normal I'm told.

The only thing is, we're very...close, and spend a lot of time together. Not all of it in a platonic way. Random people mention to us, now and again, that we should just go out. We mention this to each other, and both always go "Nah. It'd never work." and that's the end of it.
However, the other day, he remarked that when someone had suggested it, for the littlest moment he'd thought "Hmm..."
And also, in the car before I went home a couple of nights ago, he came out with
"Y'know, we should just tell our parents we're going out. It'd make you staying round easier" (I sneak round for hugs, need lots of them. I'm very huggy)
And really, if it wasn't such a taboo thing with us, and...

Basically, I'm very confused as to stop spending so much time together, and being so huggy with each other, or to let it follow whatever course it was going to... and basically wondered what to do. And you know things. So does everybody else reading this (for the love of God PM me, email, whatever, with any advice)

Help?!

Yours, confused and vulnerable-feeling Pie xx
Jonman
QUOTE (the lil' pie fairy @ Aug 6 2004, 01:46 PM)
Dear Jon.

My best friend is a guy. *gasps of shock all round* No, it's quite normal I'm told.

The only thing is, we're very...close, and spend a lot of time together. Not all of it in a platonic way. Random people mention to us, now and again, that we should just go out. We mention this to each other, and both always go "Nah. It'd never work." and that's the end of it.
However, the other day, he remarked that when someone had suggested it, for the littlest moment he'd thought "Hmm..."
And also, in the car before I went home a couple of nights ago, he came out with
"Y'know, we should just tell our parents we're going out. It'd make you staying round easier" (I sneak round for hugs, need lots of them. I'm very huggy)
And really, if it wasn't such a taboo thing with us, and...

Basically, I'm very confused as to stop spending so much time together, and being so huggy with each other, or to let it follow whatever course it was going to... and basically wondered what to do. And you know things. So does everybody else reading this (for the love of God PM me, email, whatever, with any advice)

Help?!

Yours, confused and vulnerable-feeling Pie xx
*


Mmmm, pie.

*blinks*

Sorry - it's early on Monday morning, and my brain is still in weekend pie mode.

Right, on with the show and all that.

So, the first question I want you to ask yourself is this....

How would your relationship change if you were to start dating? By the sounds of things, you already have all the non-sexual aspects of a good healthy relationship in place currently. If the answer is that your relationship wouldn't change at all, then you may as well be dating, or (looking at it from the other side), there's no point in officially going out.

This leads me onto a few more questions you need to ask yourself...

Are you attracted to him physically/sexually? Is he likewise attracted to you?

There's a lot that's dependant on your own (and his) personal situations too. I've no idea how old you and he are, and what implications 'dating' would have. This goes back to my first question - how would the relationship change? Are you concerned that if you drop romantic involvement into the mix, and/or sexual involvement, that it will damage the intensity of the platonic parts of the relationship you have? That is a distinct possibility, I have to say, but it could go the other way, and further intensify the parts of the relationship you already have. This can be even more true if either or both of you are not very experienced in the dating game. Emotions can and will run high.

The biggest and best piece of advice I can give is the same relationship advice I give to everyone. Communication is everything. Be 112% open and honest with each other, and talk about it before you commit to anything that there's no going back from. Talk about it at length - tell him your concerns and thoughts, and listen to his. If both of you know where the other is coming from, there'll be less nasty suprises down the road. And keep that level of communication up as you go ahead, whether you end up dating or not.

All relationships are an emotional gamble. The trick is figure out the odds, then place your bets accordingly.

G'luck, whichever way you end up going...
LoLo
Dear Jonman,

Have you heard about the world's first bigfoot hooker? If not that's a link to it. Do you find her to be appealing or rather frightening? Should I stop shaving my legs in hopes of getting a man? laugh.gif

Sincerely,
The next yetti
Jonman
QUOTE (LoLo @ Aug 9 2004, 08:13 PM)
Dear Jonman,

Have you heard about the world's first bigfoot hooker?  If not that's a link to it.  Do you find her to be appealing or rather frightening?  Should I stop shaving my legs in hopes of getting a man?  laugh.gif

Sincerely,
The next yetti
*


Dear Lolo,

Unfortunately (or probably fortunately considering), my work firewall blocks that link. However, thanks to my fertile and somewhat sordid imagination, I have a fair idea of what you're banging on about.

I'm personally not too fond of the more hirsute ladies, but frightening? No. Each to their own, horses for courses, and flan or fish (or something).

As to your leg-fur idea, it could well be a go-er. There's certainly a section of men that can't get enough of girls that bear a passing resemblance to Chewbacca. I'm sure that at least some of them aren't serial killers. You can pretty much guarantee that whatever deviant act or fetishistic characteristic you can think of, there'll be someone out there who gets all hot under the collar just thinking about it.

So go for it. Give it a whirl. You might want to wait until winter sets in, as it get's toasty with an all-over body rug. Take it from one who knows....
craziness
hey monjie-
i just had the best summer of my life. it was so good! it still is pretty good. anyways heres my problem-i really dont want to go back to school and restart all of the sh*t that i got to leave behind for the past 7 weeks. i know that next year is going to be equally as annoying as the last 9 were and i am just seriously not in the mood. bottom line: im tired of my life, and ive tried to change it, but its not working too well.

love your crazi niece
Snugglebum the Destroyer
Dear Jonman,

Did you know that it's going to cost me £300 to have seperate vaccinations for my son opposed to choosing the MMR? Did you know that the NHS won't even discuss the issue with me but generally just say they endorse MMR and whatever I want to know about the seperate jabs I have to find out on my own? Do you know how hard it is to find a private clinic that will give the jabs AND ensure that the drugs used are licenced and safe?

My question is - any ideas who I can contact to complain about this? I'm making it my mission to change the rules. I'm frustrated and disgusted that it should be so hard for me and other mothers who want their child to have the seperate jabs. The NHS don't do us any favours.

Yours

Michelle
Pab
Dear Michelle,

While we wait for Jonmans answer, guaranteed to be a goody, might I make a suggestion? .. Go NOW to the issues forum, explain what you are talking about, and we shall see if we can rally up some opinions/knowledge/fire-power on the subject, and start knocking down politicians like little metal ducks in a crap shooting gallery ...

Yours,

Anything for some Agro
Jonman
QUOTE (craziness @ Aug 13 2004, 11:30 PM)
hey monjie-
i just had the best summer of my life. it was so good! it still is pretty good. anyways heres my problem-i really dont want to go back to school and restart all of the sh*t that i got to leave behind for the past 7 weeks. i know that next year is going to be equally as annoying as the last 9 were and i am just seriously not in the mood. bottom line: im tired of my life, and ive tried to change it, but its not working too well.

love your crazi niece
*

Hello m'dear.

Glad to hear you had a rip-roaring snorter of a summer.

As to going back to school, I'm afraid that the news is probably not so good. Being a minor, you're kind of stuck in the system. Sure there are ways aroung going to school, but I'm sure as hell not going to reccomend you consider any of them. The best advice I can give you is to get stuck in. Concentrate on the subjects that you enjoy (assuming there are some), keep your head down, keep out of trouble, maybe pick some interesting extra-curricular activites to get involved in.

It's an old and tired cliche, but trust me, once you leave school, you'll look back and think "sheesh, what was I worrying about?". Mind you, I think that that applies equally throughout life - no matter what age you're at, ten years ago is a long time ago.

Most importantly, make the very most that you can of your spare time, 'cos you'll never have more than when you're at school. That's the one thing I miss the most about being a responsible adult. There's just not enough hours in the day to do all the cool stuff that's out there.

So, basically, not much in the way of helpful advice.
Jonman
QUOTE (Snugglebum the Destroyer @ Aug 14 2004, 10:41 AM)
Dear Jonman,

Did you know that it's going to cost me £300 to have seperate vaccinations for my son opposed to choosing the MMR?  Did you know that the NHS won't even discuss the issue with me but generally just say they endorse MMR and whatever I want to know about the seperate jabs I have to find out on my own?  Do you know how hard it is to find a private clinic that will give the jabs AND ensure that the drugs used are licenced and safe?

My question is - any ideas who I can contact to complain about this?  I'm making it my mission to change the rules.  I'm frustrated and disgusted that it should be so hard for me and other mothers who want their child to have the seperate jabs.  The NHS don't do us any favours.

Yours

Michelle
*

'ello Snugglers.

Well, I didn't know all of that. Interesting. There's a few points/questions I'd like to ask (and ask you to ask yourself).

1 : Why do you want to get seperate jabs instead of MMR? I missed the whole deal with it due to being overseas when the whole MMR hoo-haa was going on. Most importantly, where did you get the information that make you mistrust MMR? 'Cos if it was from tabloid scaremongering, you may want to reconsider somwhat. What does your GP say? Why do you not trust him? While I understand that GPs are far from omniscient, they ought to be pretty darned clued-up about childhood immunisations....

2 : What do you mean by "...AND ensure that the drugs used are licenced and safe"? Isn't that what the NHS is doing by endorsing MMR? What's the difference?

3 : I totally understand that as a parent, your first concern is for your child, as it should be. It sounds to me like the problem may not be with the NHS supporting parents who choose to opt for seperate jabs, but more with the NHS giving parents the information they need to make decisions based on facts, and explaining their options. You must remember that it's the NHS's job to give it's patients the healthcare that they need rather than the healthcare that they want. It's a subtle, but vital difference that most people forget.

4: As for complaints, a little time spent with Google can go a long way.
NHS Complaints
Also, as the NHS is still a government run organisation, you might do well to get in touch with your local MP. A call to the local Citizen's Advice Bureau might be order too.

G'luck!
Jaq
Dear Jonman:

I recently sat beside a man in a PC room who had an interesting combination of raw onion, soju and morning breath breath. He tried talking to me in broken English whilst leaning in very close. After he settled at his terminal beside mine he then lit a cigarette in the non smoking section which blew towards me and starting rubbing his crotch with alot of enthusiasm. My question is this: how long should one tolerate this behaviour before it is legally allowable or even encouraged to throttle or otherwise significantly injure people like this?

also: when is my laptop and internet connection going to be coming?

Jaq
Jonman
QUOTE (Jaq @ Aug 16 2004, 02:17 AM)
Dear Jonman:

I recently sat beside a man in a PC room who had an interesting combination of raw onion, soju and morning breath breath. He tried talking to me in broken English whilst leaning in very close.  After he settled at his terminal beside mine he then lit a cigarette in the non smoking section which blew towards me and starting rubbing his crotch with alot of enthusiasm.  My question is this: how long should one tolerate this behaviour before it is legally allowable or even encouraged to throttle or otherwise significantly injure people like this? 

also: when is my laptop and internet connection going to be coming? 

Jaq
*

The breath, the smoking, or the crotch-rubbing?

'cos the breath, well, there's not much you can do about that - it's everyone's right to choose to not brush their teeth. The smoking? That's a bit off, but throttling is perhaps a touch too far. The crotch-rubbing might just do it. Public indecency? Sexual harrassment? Either way, I'm not sure that the police would view that as a significant reason for a throttling. A dead arm maybe, a playful poke in the belly, for sure, but throttling's probably a bit extreme. A bit like hunting rabbits with a tank.

and...
*peers into crystal ball*
your laptop will arrive on Wedsatonday, around brunchinner time.
Snugglebum the Destroyer
QUOTE
1 : Why do you want to get seperate jabs instead of MMR? I missed the whole deal with it due to being overseas when the whole MMR hoo-haa was going on. Most importantly, where did you get the information that make you mistrust MMR? 'Cos if it was from tabloid scaremongering, you may want to reconsider somwhat. What does your GP say? Why do you not trust him? While I understand that GPs are far from omniscient, they ought to be pretty darned clued-up about childhood immunisations....


Firstly, I don't sign on for scaremongering. When the issue was raised, I sat at my PC and did a search on MMR. I then spent the rest of the afternoon reading up on the issue - on both the NHS sites and independant researchers. I decided from that, that although MMR has been declared 'safe' I was still feeling uneasy about my son having it.

QUOTE
2 : What do you mean by "...AND ensure that the drugs used are licenced and safe"? Isn't that what the NHS is doing by endorsing MMR? What's the difference?


Nope. A shadow of doubt was cast upon MMR - that was never an issue when there was only the single vaccination offered. When MMR was introduced, the licence on the single vaccination was allowed to lapse and was not renewed in this country - for no other reason then the drugs were not required any more. Therefore, it is illegal to manufacture those particular vaccines in this country. They have to be imported from other countries - so I have to ensure that the clinic I go to is observing their procedures and checking the validity of the drugs they are receiving.

QUOTE
3 : I totally understand that as a parent, your first concern is for your child, as it should be. It sounds to me like the problem may not be with the NHS supporting parents who choose to opt for seperate jabs, but more with the NHS giving parents the information they need to make decisions based on facts, and explaining their options. You must remember that it's the NHS's job to give it's patients the healthcare that they need rather than the healthcare that they want. It's a subtle, but vital difference that most people forget.


True - however, the conversation I had with my GP went along the lines of MMR = good, single vaccine = bad. Not giving me information to make a choice really, is it?

Thanks for the advice - as a rule I think the NHS are fantastic but in this area I think they need to make changes.
snooodlysnoosnoosnoodle
I know this is kind of spam but I didn't have an MMR or the individual vaccines, I don't know why I didn't and I didn't know that I hadn't until 2 years ago when I got mumps (but only on the right).
so...yeah

/spam

edit: I just realised how utterly pointless this was, sorry
Jaq
Dear Jonman

I have a problem. I find I can read very very slowly Korean characters and that I'm starting to be able to understand some simple Korean words. Hopefully sometime in the near future I'll be able to understand simple Korean conversations. My problem is this. Korean isn't spoken very much outside of Korea. Unlike say Japanese or Spanish or Cantonese, Korean is kind of useless... especially outside of Korea. So, my question is this: If I fill my head with Korean will other more important things like Data's cat's name be pushed out?

Worried, Jaq
Jonman
Firstly and foremostly, who's to say that tomorrow, Korea won't take over the world and debumitate (i.e. cut the bum off of) anyone who doesn't speak Korean, eh? You'll be laughing then. Stick with it girl.

As to whether your fledgling grasp of the wongely characters of the Korean language will push other stuff out of your brain, so what if it does? How much more use are you going to be to the world in general if you don't know the name of Data's cat? At the very least, you could simply relearn the cat's name, this time in Korean. So instead of Quark, or Photon, or Einstein, or whatever the hell the moggy's called, you'll know it as Wong-Fat-Wa or something like that.

At the end of the day, we learn useless crap by the bucketload every day, and forget half of it instantly. And anyway, the more Korean you learn, the more Korean you have to forget, so the less non-Korean stuff you'll forget. Sorted!
DarkInferno
It's called 'Spot'.
Mutilation
If your learning Korean just play Gunbound...

Dear Jonman, what do you do when you don't have anymore wall space for posters from the NME?
Jonman
QUOTE (Mutilation @ Aug 21 2004, 08:54 AM)
If your learning Korean just play Gunbound...

Dear Jonman, what do you do when you don't have anymore wall space for posters from the NME?
*

Simple. Stop buying the numpty rag, and spend the money on something more useful, like miniutre toilet paper for ants.
Mutilation
I don't buy then, I steal the posters from the issues in the school libary.

Another problem:
I recently found two very small spots with whiteheads on them. This wouldn't really bother me if not for the fact they were on my glans. Can cysts have whiteheads? Will they go away?
Mata
QUOTE (Mutilation @ Aug 23 2004, 10:12 AM)
Another problem:
I recently found two very small spots with whiteheads on them. This wouldn't really bother me if not for the fact they were on my glans. Can cysts have whiteheads? Will they go away?
*

http://www.the-penis-website.com/problems....%20with%20spots
Warning, some explicit photos on that site. The spots are nothing to worry about.
Jonman
QUOTE (Mata @ Aug 23 2004, 04:31 AM)
QUOTE (Mutilation @ Aug 23 2004, 10:12 AM)
Another problem:
I recently found two very small spots with whiteheads on them. This wouldn't really bother me if not for the fact they were on my glans. Can cysts have whiteheads? Will they go away?
*

http://www.the-penis-website.com/problems....%20with%20spots
Warning, some explicit photos on that site. The spots are nothing to worry about.
*


Question number 1: Have you had unprotected sex recently? If yes, get thee to your doctor, or family planning clinic. If not, to be honest, head on over there anyway, and get yourself checked out. It's not a bad idea if you're sexually active to get checked every now and again. More so if you're less than 100% fastidious about safe sex.

Mata says not to worry about it, but unless he's kept it very quiet, he's not a willy-doctor, so I say see the doc.
Mutilation
I haven't had anal sex, so I think nothing should be a problem. Thank you both anyway.
Jonman
QUOTE (Mutilation @ Aug 23 2004, 05:34 AM)
I haven't had anal sex, so I think nothing should be a problem. Thank you both anyway.
*

Who said anything about anal sex?

ANY form of sexual contact carries the risk of infection of STDs. That includes regular hetrosexual sex, and even oral sex. Even using condoms and taking precautions can't necessarily give you 100% protection from all STDs. It's perfectly conceivable that you've picked up something from bedroom antics, and chances are that it's nothing that a prescription for a creme or some anti-biotics won't clear up.

Do the sensible thing, and see someone who knows about this kind of thing....hence my advice to visit your local family planning clinic. If for no other reason that there's no passion killer quite like a spotty old chap.
Mutilation
No I mean, i'm gay and I haven't been any where near one of, those. And I don't do "bedroom antics". I haven't let any semen near my entrances. So I reckon it's Mata's thing.
Mata
Fair point, I should've added 'if you have any doubts then go see a doctor'. I remembered that I should've written this after I left the house earlier this afternoon. I was coming back online to add this but Jon's beaten me to it.

He's also spot on that it's good to get tested for things occasionally. I've been to GU clinics to have things checked in the past. Fortunately everything has been absolutely fine, but there's nothing like the peace of mind that you have when you know for absolute certainty that you're not carrying anything. There are treatable things that can be tested for that do nothing to men but make women sterile. It's always good to know for sure.

Thats the thing with STDs (sexually transmitted diseases), you really can't tell who has them, and often the person themself doesn't know either. That last bit is really important. It's not about just having sex with that person, you are having sex with a person who probably has had sex with other people and they in turn have probably had sex with others. You might trust your partner, but do you trust every single one of their ex's?

I did a fair bit of work with men's sexual health groups at uni, where the mantra of 'if in doubt go see a doctor' and 'get yourself checked anyway' became such second nature that I began to take it for granted that people would already know this advice (which is why adding it on to my last post was an after-thought).

Mu, it's probably nothing, but it's always worth getting things checked out.
the lil' pie fairy
Dear fountain of wisdom,

I've got a horrible choice to make:
1) Green Day or Supergrass

Green Day; legendary, for moi. Supergrass, also the same. I don't know what to do! And you know most things...HEEEELP.

Yours, a pie in a dilemma x
Jonman
QUOTE (the lil' pie fairy @ Aug 23 2004, 07:55 AM)
Dear fountain of wisdom,

I've got a horrible choice to make:
1) Green Day or Supergrass

Green Day; legendary, for moi. Supergrass, also the same. I don't know what to do! And you know most things...HEEEELP.

Yours, a pie in a dilemma x
*

I can't make that decision for you, m'fraid.

If it were me, it would be Green Day all the way - the only good thing about Supergrass are Gaz's sideburns, and if I wanted sideburns, I'd be watching John McCrirrick on Channel 4 Racing.

Oooh, I know - clone yourself, send your clone to whichever one you don't go to, then assimilate the clone afterwards, thereby absorbing it's memories of the missed gig.
It's so simple really.
Mutilation
Dear Jonman, another question (I've been having alot of these recently) I've been using the computer too much (what do you expect when Leicester is expected to FLOOD soon) and I've been doing to much 1337 pwn and I've rubbed on some skin on my wrists and made sore holes in my skin on both sides. Can you recommend anything apart from not using the comp or a mousemat?
Mata
QUOTE (Mutilation @ Aug 24 2004, 08:00 PM)
Can you recommend anything apart from not using the comp or a mousemat?
*

Those both sound like really reasonable suggestions already.

The other method would be too get some whale blubber and lubricate your desktop with that, but using the comp less and getting a decent mousemat would be easier.

I know I'm not Jonman, I just felt like answering again.
Polocrunch
QUOTE
The other method would be too get some whale blubber and lubricate your desktop with that, but using the comp less and getting a decent mousemat would be easier.

I know I'm not Jonman, I just felt like answering again


First you make slurs against far-flung parts of the British Isles, and now you're promoting whaling and trespassing on Jonman's turf?

What next, Mata - strangling babies?
Mutilation
Leicester isn't really far-flung as it's in the MIDLANDS. But Mata, there's only a few things worse than promoting whaling, strangling baby goats. THINK ABOUT THE KIDS.
Jonman
QUOTE (Mutilation @ Aug 24 2004, 01:00 PM)
Dear Jonman, another question (I've been having alot of these recently) I've been using the computer too much (what do you expect when Leicester is expected to FLOOD soon) and I've been doing to much 1337 pwn and I've rubbed on some skin on my wrists and made sore holes in my skin on both sides. Can you recommend anything apart from not using the comp or a mousemat?
*

Well well.

Leicester indeed you say. I too have been hoping that it won't flood, as I live there too. However, I've not been as smart as you, and have taken to riding up and down the hills east of leicester (Scraptoft, Tilton and some others) in the middle of rainstorms, and on one memorable occasion, a thunderstorm.

Clearly, I'm not as think as you smart I am.

Anyway, I use a mousemat with a built in silicone-y wrist-rest, and a matching long one for the keyboard, as otherwise, I get terrible RSI. You can pick them up from any old crap shop like Dixons, or even a stationers (I know that Rymans on Market Street in the centre of town has them, as that's where I got mine). They're not too cheap (around a tenner each), although I dare say that you could get them cheaper online.

Other than that, unplug dude! Spend some time not goggling at the monitor. As with so many problems, the solution is Gameboy - play it in the bath, on the toilet, on the bus, in bed, on the sofa, in the park - it's everywhere-fun.
Mata
QUOTE (Polocrunch @ Aug 25 2004, 06:06 AM)
What next, Mata - strangling babies?
*

Well, I do eat puppies, or so Mr Fuzzy tells me anyway...
Ashbless
Dear Johnman,

Is it unreasonable to turf mutual friends who have decided only to speak with, hang with the ex? They have always been a strange bunch who feel ex's should be firm friends with each other but thoughts of my ex are still triggering feelings of bitterness and rage. sad.gif They feel I should get over it and make friends again with the ex. I feel they could be friends with both of us without me having to suck up to a selfish, self-absorbed jerk with delusions of superiority. So do I turf them and find friends who'll be there for me?

Yours,
Unreasonable Ex-Girlfriend
Jonman
QUOTE (Ashbless @ Aug 25 2004, 06:00 AM)
Dear Johnman,

Is it unreasonable to turf mutual friends who have decided only to speak with, hang with the ex?  They have always been a strange bunch who feel ex's should be firm friends with each other but thoughts of my ex are still triggering feelings of bitterness and rage.  sad.gif  They feel I should get over it and make friends again with the ex.  I feel they could be friends with both of us without me having to suck up to a selfish, self-absorbed jerk with delusions of superiority.  So do I turf them and find friends who'll be there for me?

Yours,
Unreasonable Ex-Girlfriend
*

Dear Unreasonable,

There is no law that states that you have to friends with your ex. With bloody good reason, too. There's usually a perfectly good reason for breaking up in the first place, and that reason quite often applies both to romantic as well as platonic relationships with one's ex.

Personally, I find the whole concept of 'lets just be friends' to be a bit weird, given the extra level of emotional (and physical) involvement in a romantic relationship often makes it difficult (or impossible) to go back to the lesser level of involvement in being friends, at least for one person, if not both. I can only think of one friend who's still on friendly terms with an ex.

That said, you may well find that as time goes on, it'll be easier to view exes as friends, without those vision-reddening moments of beserk rage. Certainly, as the weeks become months, and even years, you'll probably find yourself able to objectively consider your ex, and possibly even be 'friends'.

However, back to the point, it seems slightly unreasonable to bin your friends, just beacuse they're still friends with your ex, and think that you should be too. Have you tried explaining to them that you can't think you think about him/her without these feelings of anger and resentment, and that maybe in time you could be friends with him, but not to hold their collective breath? Have you explained your reasons for thinking that (s)he's a pompous fool (without being needlessly bitchy)?

On the flip side, if your friends are having trouble accepting that you're not comfortable with the whole 'friends' thing, then perhaps they aren't as good friends as you thought that they were.

Bottom line, I think is this...
You need to communicate to your friends why you feel the way that you do. If they can't accept that, then perhaps you do need to distance yourself from them while you're getting over the breakup. One question you need to ask yourself before you do anything rash is...do you really want to burn those bridges, or simply take a leave of absence?

G'luck!
J-man
Mr Fuzzy
QUOTE (Mata @ Aug 25 2004, 12:48 PM)
QUOTE (Polocrunch @ Aug 25 2004, 06:06 AM)
What next, Mata - strangling babies?
*

Well, I do eat puppies, or so Mr Fuzzy tells me anyway...
*



Don't try to hide it by picking the wrong animal. We all know it's kittens you eat.
EvilSpork
Hey there Mr. Jonman sir,

So I never take chances that I want to take, which I later always regret..

I always contemplate the bad that could happen..

Do I think too much? Or is it just something else, or normal?

Oorgle.
arpeggiodreams
Dear Man of Jon,

I have a younger brother. I'm nearly 18, and he turned 16 in May. For the last year or so, the only thing he's cared about is getting stoned and drunk. He steals money from me and my mom. He steals my mom's cigarettes, he ditches school all the time (as in, today was the third day of school and he cut it). He also has 'borrowed' our cars (he doesn't have a license).

His actions, and his COMPLETE lack of remorse, has our family in a tizzy. My mom doesn't want to send him to his father, my sperm donor, because it would be admitting she's failed. His father's sole view of discipline is beating him. We've also discussed sending him to a grandparent, but as both of my parents smoked weed when they were his age, it seems rather pointless to me.

Mom told him today that he is on his absolute last chance: if he screws up again, she's calling the police.

Anything you can think of that could help us?
oxym0ronical
Dearest Jonman,

I am extremely bored and have no idea what else to do. I have read every book I own (some three or four times), I've watched more TV in the last 3 months than I have in the last 3 years, I've written (more) bad poetry(and written, and..), I've even begun crocheting again. I can't leave the house without help as I'm wheelchair bound for another 2 weeks, and I have limited access to the PC since this room isn't very accomodating. Help!

Most sincerely,
Idle Hands
Jonman
QUOTE (EvilSpoon @ Aug 25 2004, 09:13 PM)
Hey there Mr. Jonman sir,

So I never take chances that I want to take, which I later always regret..

I always contemplate the bad that could happen..

Do I think too much? Or is it just something else, or normal?

Oorgle.
*

On the one hand, yes, you're pretty normal.

On the other hand, it's possible that you're missing out on a butt-load of fun. You sound like you're forever trapped in Whatifland. That place where you sit around wondering 'what if' all the time, and imagining fantabulous things happening to your wild ker-azy alter ego? Sound familiar? (If not, ignore the rest of this post...)

The solution is actually disarmly simple. Start taking those risks that you would normally not take. It really is that simple on the face of it. The reality of it is substantially more difficult, of course. You have to actively overcome your natural response to events, and make a special effort to do the thing that's not second nature.

Most importantly, approach every decision with an open mind, and open eyes. Realise and accept that not every risk will pay off. Some will indeed result in badness. Some will not. That's the trick, being able to guesstimate which will pay off, and which won't. And unfortunately, that's something that's going to come with experience. Usually after a couple of risks that don't pay off. There's a little cliche from the days I was learning to juggle that's quite apt here. "Every drop is progress made", because every time you drop a ball, you can learn what you did wrong, and avoid doing it again, hence improving your juggling. And that's very much a truism in life. You learn from your mistakes. Those that don't put themselves in risky situations don't make mistakes, and don't learn from them.

Seriously, taking yourself out of your comfort zone can be incredibly empowering. Sure, it can be scary at first, but you'll learn a butt-load about yourself, other folk, and the world, and at the end of the day, be a stronger, wiser person.

Personally, I advocate taking risks in life. It's what it's all about. Of course, don't take any clearly stupid and dangerous risks - wandering around the dodgy part of town at midnight sporting expensive jeweller sure is risky, but it's also dumb. You know what I mean, I'm sure.
Jonman
QUOTE (arpeggiodreams @ Aug 25 2004, 11:40 PM)
Dear Man of Jon,

I have a younger brother.  I'm nearly 18, and he turned 16 in May.  For the last year or so, the only thing he's cared about is getting stoned and drunk.  He steals money from me and my mom.  He steals my mom's cigarettes, he ditches school all the time (as in, today was the third day of school and he cut it).  He also has 'borrowed' our cars (he doesn't have a license).

His actions, and his COMPLETE lack of remorse, has our family in a tizzy.  My mom doesn't want to send him to his father, my sperm donor, because it would be admitting she's failed.  His father's sole view of discipline is beating him.  We've also discussed sending him to a grandparent, but as both of my parents smoked weed when they were his age, it seems rather pointless to me.

Mom told him today that he is on his absolute last chance: if he screws up again, she's calling the police.

Anything you can think of that could help us?
*


So, first off, the fact that all he cares about is getting stoned and drunk doesn't seem too out of the ordinary to me. Certainly in the UK, getting absolutely twatted on a regular basis is de rigeur for the average 16 year old. I'm not saying it's morally justifiable, or sensible, or clever - just not unexpected.

However, the stealing is another matter entirely. That clearly needs to be dealt with. And as to how to deal with it, I feel substantially out of my depth offerring advice on how to do that.

You mention that because your grandparents smoked weed when they were teenagers that that makes them not suitable to look after him. Well, why? So they smoked some dope 40 years ago - does that invalidate their morality? I know bucketloads of fine, moral upstanding members of the community that I would trust with my ferrets (I don't have kids yet - they're the next best thing), who used to, or even still do, smoke weed.

A more important thing to consider is how sending him to his grandparents would help him. Sure, it would make life easier for you and your mum, but by the sounds of things, your brother is in danger of spiralling further out of control. I wonder what being with your grandparents would give him that he's not getting living with you and your mum.

Another thing to consider is his motives for stealing. What's the scale of the thefts? The reason I ask is to try and identify whether he's in more trouble than you already know about. 10 quid here and there would indicate he's stealing to buy weed and beers. 100 quid a day would be more indicative of a smack habit, which would be of extreme concern. Not that I'm trying to say that he's a smackhead, just that you guys ought to try and figure out what's going on.

And this may be a stupid question, but I assume you've tried talking to him? I can almost guess that that would be a fruitless activity if he's like most 16 year-olds, but you've got to try. The police really need to be a last resort. But maybe one that would work. If you guys do end up doing that - I would suggest giving fair and multiple warnings to your brother that if his behaviour continues, then you'll have to call the police. Springing it on him is just likely to make him resent you.

And, good luck...
Jonman
QUOTE (oxym0ronical @ Aug 26 2004, 01:39 AM)
Dearest Jonman,

I am extremely bored and have no idea what else to do. I have read every book I own (some three or four times), I've watched more TV in the last 3 months than I have in the last 3 years, I've written (more) bad poetry(and written, and..), I've even begun crocheting again. I can't leave the house without help as I'm wheelchair bound for another 2 weeks, and I have limited access to the PC since this room isn't very accomodating. Help!

Most sincerely,
Idle Hands
*


And to top it all, you live in Wyoming, you poor thing! tongue.gif

Right then. You're in a pickle, and no mistake.

Hmm, that's a toughie.

Anyone else around to play games with? Chess and Backgammon are two classics - strategic and challenging.

What about some kind of home-based money making activity - there's always folks that will pay you to stuff envelopes or something. Not exactly fun, but you may as well make a few bucks while you're sitting around.

Learn something new - get a book that'll teach you something. Whether it's technical (a programming language, or higher computer skills), a new language, or just current affairs, or advanced crochet for that matter. I realise that you're kind of stuck in a wheelchair there, but half an hour on Amazon could get you some interesting stuff. If you're short of cash, you can also use Amazon to sell some of the books that you've just re-read for the umpteenth time, and raise some cash that way!
arpeggiodreams
QUOTE (Jonman @ Aug 26 2004, 01:07 AM)
Another thing to consider is his motives for stealing. What's the scale of the thefts? The reason I ask is to try and identify whether he's in more trouble than you already know about. 10 quid here and there would indicate he's stealing to buy weed and beers. 100 quid a day would be more indicative of a smack habit, which would be of extreme concern. Not that I'm trying to say that he's a smackhead, just that you guys ought to try and figure out what's going on.

The police really need to be a last resort. But maybe one that would work. If you guys do end up doing that - I would suggest giving fair and multiple warnings to your brother that if his behaviour continues, then you'll have to call the police. Springing it on him is just likely to make him resent you.

And, good luck...
*


He steals our cars to go joyriding with his friends. He also bugs my mom for $10 every few days. I don't think he's a smackhead (yet at least blink.gif ), because smack is harder to get here. Now, stealing my car is just theft (my baby's not valued over the limit), but stealing my mom's is grand theft auto (not just a game!).

He has been given many many many warnings. This has been going on for at least a year and a half, but probably more. He has been warned that he's on his last hair, and if we wake up and he's gone, we're calling the police.

It's just getting to the point that nothing we do has any effect on him, and he's uncontrollable, and we don't know what to do.
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