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porcelainwarrior
i have a huge bruise across my back and an inability to breathe deeply today due to being pushed into my little sisters drumset last night and thus breaking her snare thingie tongue.gif we have the funnest fights tongue.gif

any one else?
Jonman
I have a stupid, and more importantly, permanant injury, given to me by my best mate Pete the Bas***d.

So there we were, aged 17, absolutely trolleyed, at midnight, in the park.

Pete turns to me, and says -
"Hey, stand there - I'll show you this brilliant move you can do in the new Playstation fighting game I've got"

Stupidly, I stand there. Pete runs towards me at full speed , then dives at me feet first. His feet take me out at the ankle - I do an instantaneous 180 spin, and perform a perfect 1-point landing on my teeth.

Wake up the next morning with a sizable chip out of one of my front top teeth. Dentistry has failed to fix it permenantly. So I'm stuck with it.
hinsley
i got like 6 chips in my teeth, dont bother me too much. but then i never smile so you cant see them.

i broke my foot once just before i went on holiday and my dad shouted and said i either go to hospital and ruins everyones holiday or go on holiday with them.

he didnt beleive i had broken it.

i went to the doctors when i got back, and he said i shouldnt have left it. woohoo.

so yeah i get cramp like all the time in it. but its not too bad.

plus i have bad ankles too, thus me never having to do PE.

yay!
Polocrunch
I can't open my mess tin on Army camp.
So what do I do? I get out my nice sharp (Swiss Army) knife and try to open it.
The blade slips and I nearly chop my finger off. But the cool part is that when I bent my finger, blood fountained up. Whee!
hinsley
When i went ot Spain on a school holiday thingy, i tried to cut an orange with a plastic knife (yes the really blunt ones) and managed to cut my thumb, and then all the knifes got banned from us using them. lol, it was funny.

wasnt so funny when the juice from the orange went into my cut. OWWWWWWW
CommieBastard
Once I tried to do a forward flip and land on my feet. What happened, I hear you ask. Well, shut up! I'm telling the story here. Anyway. I landed on my head, and nearly concussed myself.
Polocrunch
I tripped on the leg of one of those huge clunking wheely TVs at school, completely failed to put out my arms, and smashed my head on the cold linoleum floor, receiving a concussion.
The teacher laughed.
Needless to say, it was a state school.
The.Wheezing.Ghost
Once my foot was asleep and I got out of bed--twisted my foot and spained my ankle.

Then another time I was walking down the hallway swinging my arms and I jammed my pinky in the wall---I had to get a cast that went up to my elbow because of it.
porcelainwarrior
i now also have a broken toe ... in my short absence from the forums i was chasing aforementioned sister fround the garden with a piece of lettuce (dont even ask why ...) barefooted of course

i ran into the little edging on the flowerbeds and fell over ... it won the battle ... ouch ...
MistressAlti
I shut my own head into a car door once.

Don't eeeeeeven ask.
porcelainwarrior
i shut my hand in a cardoor and it locked ... how did you get your head in? (i had to ask ...)
porcelainwarrior
QUOTE (hinsley @ Aug 8 2003, 07:51 PM)
i got like 6 chips in my teeth, dont bother me too much. but then i never smile so you cant see them.

i have a tailors notch in my right front top and bottom teeth

its a little groove made from biting off threads constantly

/me should get me some damn scissors ...
leopold
erm... I overdid summat at the weekend, an an old back injury flared up... It goes into spasm pretty regularly, an it's majorly uncomfy... I have a troubled relationship with it at the best o times, but this is mental sad.gif

Buy shares in Nurofen, cos I'm eatin 'em like sweeties at the mo... laugh.gif
Edward_lover1200
*giggles and raises hand* I have a stupid injury...

I jumped off a two story apartment building....my apartment at that...and landed on the managers car and broke my leg......I thought I could fly..and greg just laughed at me..so later when I could walk I through him off the building *blushes*
Sun Tsu
I fell off my bunk bed the other morning. I bruised up my hand, but the thing is i just yawned and got back into bed. I'm soooo lazy. laugh.gif
porcelainwarrior
didnt you do that about a week ago too? only then you just fell asleep on the floor again you told me ... you should sleep lower down ya silly moogle ...
Sun Tsu
QUOTE (porcelainwarrior @ Aug 8 2003, 08:46 PM)
didnt you do that about a week ago too? only then you just fell asleep on the floor again you told me...

bed, floor, its all the same....
porcelainwarrior
bump!

i was bored, i have several stupid injuries at the moment, you shall suffer them all...*cue thunder and evil laughter*

1 - sore hands, wore spiky bikers gloves and hit someone, forgot spikes went through to other side and jabbed knuckles

2 - sore knee, fell up (yes up) concrete stairs

3 - sore nose and wrists, wrestled a guy much stronger than me and every time he asked if i was ok i yelled in a xena-like fashion and continued to fight. until i realised that he was near breaking my wrists. then he headbutted me in the face. then we stopped fighting. then i bit him. then we both felt bad.

4 - sore stomach - see above: if someone is pinning you to the ground dont try to throw them off, they will land on you and it will hurt tongue.gif

ok...im done...farewell...
Monkey the Rabid Red Rabbit
I've had a humongo bruise on my right leg for a while now. Mys sister's pig came running at me and *sh-wham!* he got me with his snout of death. Then he laughed. Bess is watching me.
CrissiLove
I constantly have bruises. I must bruise really easily.... I have a gigantic one on my thigh right now... plus three smaller ones. I also have many scars.... I have one on my lower back that my bf is obsessed with. I have many other scars though.
Polocrunch
I have a nice big scar on my knee.
My cover story is that I was fighting terrorists/saving children from a burning building/running up Mount Everest/preventing the apocalypse, when I suddenly tripped on the corpse of my own mother/the fang of a dragon/the crumbling flaming stairs of a tower block/Cerberus and fell on something sharp, nearly killing me, and leaving me with one huge scar on my knee, and many more in my mind.
The truth is that I tried to ride single-handedly on my bike whilst wearing a large rucksack. I fell, cut my knee and ruined my school trousers. But I have this really cool scar!
Succubusalicious
OK, OK. Wait for it. This is the stupidest injury ever. It happened one time when I was on holiday somewhere, and the hotel we were staying in had a gym. So I was on the running machine as you do. This is how my thought pattern went:

'Oh I wonder how fast it goes.'

'Man that's pretty fast.'

'Bet I can get on it while it's still going really really fast.'

'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH'

Result: burns all down both my legs and a fear of running machines.
miss_spunk
^^^Dearie me that's HILARIOUS!!! hahaha

OK now here are a couple of mine. We have these double doors in my house, two sets of them. One door stays closed and for some insane reason when I walk through them I always hit my shoulder on the way, and it really hurts, especially when you're running! damn heavy oak doors

Another time, when I was waiting for my sister in the garden so we could play (I was younger) I was playing with some acorns (please keep in my mind I used to live in the middle of nowhere - my garden overlooked a field of cows smile.gif ) well there was for whatever reason broken shards of glass in one corner, and I dropped my acorn there, so I pick it up. Unfortunately me being a foolish fool goes and gets this huge shard stuck in my arm. Lots of blood, and something was trying to come out!!! (My sister told me it was my muscle - but I didn't want to believe her)

There are plenty more shamefully stupid stories.

Polo I wanna see your scar!

Aysha xxx
Logicman
One time I attempted to jump the last five or six steps in the staircase. I do it all the time, but this time I fudged it royally. Jumped too hard, banged my head against the overhanging ceiling, fell on my back, and was unable to breathe properly for hours. I believe I also broke a certain bone in my rib cage which punctured my lung, but I haven't told anyone who might do something about it because I fear the scalpel.
Jaq
Okey dokey. When I was an ickle one there was a bathroom stall door that was always off it's hinges in the school bathroom. Me being the tomboy I was decided that even though this thing was much taller and bigger than I was I should try to lift it. WEll the lifting was actually pretty easy and I was feeling pretty proud of myself. Unfortunately I forgot about angles. I tried to lean the door back up against the wall, the angle was too sharp and it came crashing down on my leg. Still have quite a big scar from that.
FF to a year later. It's winter and so I'm wearing long pants. I was telling my friend the same story and to show her just how big my scar is wihtout taking off my pants I draw a large mark on my arm with a sharp pencil. Yeah. I still have the scar from that brilliant idea too.
I have numerous chips in my front teeth from being stupid on the monkey bars when I was little.
When I was 5 I was playing with the big kids in the neighbourhood. They would lie on their backs with their feet up in the air and I would sit on their feet and they would launch me up into the air. It was great fun until I broke my wrist.
Also another stupid thing..wasn't really an injury but it's just stupid. My brother once dropped a peice of lettuce on my head and I said "ouch"
Logicman
QUOTE (Jaq @ Sep 22 2003, 02:18 PM)
Also another stupid thing..wasn't really an injury but it's just stupid.  My brother once dropped a peice of lettuce on my head and I said "ouch"

aye... *nods sympathetically* but that lettuce can be pretty nasty, you know.
monkey_called_narth
ok i have the all time stupidest injury in the world!!! when i was 12 years old i shoot myself in my wrist. heres the story

ok so my dad is the leader of one of the boy scouts and hes a big hunter and decides hes going to take the boys to get there gun safty badges wich contains shooting all sorts of guns in this big open feild thats at my grandmothers, and i had to come with because my mom was at work and i wasnt allowed to be home alone. well im there and i have a 22 with a scoop so im shooting that for a while and i decide i wanted to try out a hand gun so my dad hands me the 45 and im aiming and im concentraiting as hard as i can because i kinnda wanna show off in front of all the boys, and im holding this hand gun with both hands trying to get really good shoot in, so just as im about to fire my dad says somthing to me i jump jerking on of my hands forward as i pull the trigger sending the bullet right into my wrist and my dad rushes me to the hospital and they remove it. so now i have this scar on my wrist and it only bends so far and there a little indent that you can feel.

the funniest thing thow was when my mom found out she nailed my dad right in the eye while im sitting on the hospital bed crying...
Polocrunch
Oh that reminds me of a joke I stole from Good Morning Vietnam:

"What's the difference between the Boyscouts and the US Army?"


"The Boyscouts don't have heavy artillery."


So shoot me, I tried.
werewolf3361
ok.... fun... the stupidest injury I ever got would have to be from way back when I was 8... I tryed to throw my cat in my little kiddie pool and got a scratch on my wrist and chest... I have scars...

oh and then there's the time I think I was 11 or 12 and I jumped off the side of my neighbors pool and got bit by his dog... the dog thought he was saving me... I think... and then my neighbor took me home and I refused to go to the hospital and get stitches so I have a nice set of scars from that...

and one more stupid injury I've gotten... I was running down the walk way of my back yard at my old house and I ran into a brick and broke my little toe on my right foot...

there's some of my stupid injurys for you're amusement... feel free to laugh... because it is funny... biggrin.gif laugh.gif
chester
oh... stupid injurys? im a clutz, i have many.

i tried jumping off my friend cailas roof onto her giant trampeline. i was wearing shoes, so when i landed i slipped. i didnt get hurt real bad, but i landed flat on my back couldnt breathe right for a while. (no major injury)

hmm... i once tried roller blading down a hill by my house. i didnt roll more than i plumited. i never really get hurt too bad, so i just decided to take the skates of and never try again. (no major injury)

ok, heres a story i tell whenever my friends ask if my brother michael is a nice brother or a mean one. i was sitting at the same computer i am now, three weeks ago, when my brother michael walked by. he came in from doing some yardwork. he was holding a shovel. he looked at me. he shook his head at me, and for no reason at all HE HIT ME WITH THE SHOVEL. (injury: bruising on my back and left arm)

when i was a little kid my cat attacked my face. cant remember much else, except trying to pick the cat up when it attacked my face. i was only like 7 and i had to get stiches all across my forehead and cheek. i still have scars. (injurys: i already said, so if you cant remember go back and read my story)

uh... what other stupid ones??? over the summer my crazy cheerleader friends were trying to teach me how to do a roundoff. i was still not good at the basics so i was gonna do a handstand to warm up. well, i landed on my head. (injurys: none, actually. i was suprised... and happy tongue.gif )

kelly j.
*falls on face*
WeeJ
I still win. Metal ankle of doom.
I am the bionic woman tongue.gif
FurryMammal
Me and my mates were out having one of our standard under age drinking expeditions... i mean ummm (for the record) we were walking home from choir practise... yeah... anyway, we were walking under a large high up bridge, with a path and a stream running under it. the stream had dried up mostly, so it was just a trickle in amidst a combination of mud, broken beer bottles, general rubbish and the like.

Anyway, i was standing on the edge of the path, wobbling slightly, when my friend runs along the path and cleverly knocks me down the slope into this ditch full of the above. It wasnt a far fall, but i got some nasty pieces of brown glass stuck in my arm and i passed out. i woke up after a few stitches on my arm, and all sorts of lovely antiseptic treatments. i think i got a tetanus jab as well, i dunno. but i have the scars to prove it dry.gif

anyway, the lesson kids is....... dont let your drunk mate push you in a ditch.

i got a right roasting for drinking as well. sad.gif
Jonman
Oh yeah, my other dumb injury was breaking my ankle while out on lash on a business trip in Hawaii. That ruined that trip for me. Well, that, and having to evacuate a burning airplane on the runway the next day. With a busted ankle.
Mr Fuzzy
Could be worse... You could have had all that without getting properly slammed...
Jonman
QUOTE (Mr Fuzzy @ Sep 23 2003, 04:49 PM)
Could be worse... You could have had all that without getting properly slammed...

Well, yeah, being twatted when I did it was a good thing, as otherwise I would have been in rather a lot of pain.

However, having a hangover from hell, and hopping across the runway at top speed, away from the fiery airplane of death, thinking I was about to die, felt like heavy handed karmic compensation for the pleasant afternoon of tropical snorkelling I'd had the day before.
Mr Fuzzy
That's where you went wrong. Remember rule 1 - Never do anything active when you could be in the pub instead. At least down the boozer the risks are generally limited to aggro skins.
Moosh
*Bump*

Just found this thread so I thought I would share some of my amusing injuries with you

- I was in the Cubs (little scouts) and I was at camp. There was a rope swing across a river but none of us are big enough to get all the way across. Never the less we start swinging on it. I swing, jump, land in the river and my knee whacaks on something. I get up thinking I just banged it, when I look down I see a huge chunk out of my knee and the bone showing through. It's not bleeding that badly though. I spent 3 hours in A&E dressed only in a t-shirt and swimming trunks then got some stiches in. Still have the scar on my left knee.

- I was about 11 and at my Grandparents house. They have a load of little kids toys and stuff out back so I was messing about on a tiny tricycle that was way too small for me. I crashed it and fell off with the trike underneath me. I try to get up and it hurts, I look down and see one of the handle-bars sticking into my right knee. Still got the scar from that as well

- On holiday in France, about 10 years old. I wanted to go on the beach but we were just walking along the front behind the beach. There was a wall between us and the beach. As the wall was only about 2 feet high, I thought I would jump over it, on the other side it was more like 12 feet high. luckily as I landed on sand I only twisted my ankle.

Thats all I can think of for now. The moral of my stories is: Look before you leap!
SPEAKERfortheLOST
GOD forbid that i forget to mention this...

One day i was riding my bike just after having it fixed in the shop, it was there to have the chain and gears worked on(this is important later), anyway, im riding my bike(without a helmet no less) and all of a sudden the next thing i know im in a hospital...

What happened was, apparantly, my bike flipped end over end, tossing me into the air, making me land on my head/neck, sliding for about 30-40 feet, causing me to tear open the back of my head and neck...

This all happened because, apparantly, the chain they put on was too large for the bike and got kinked and caught on one of the gears, making the bike flip end over end considering that i was pedaling quite hard...

so now i have a metal plate in the back of my head, a nasty scar, and a new bike... it's nice! (the bike is)
Usurper MrTeapot
My two favourite injuries.

1) I was quite young and playing He-Man in the bathroom, swinging from the shower curtain and stuff when it snapped and I fell. I hit my face on the rim of the toilet seat and have a small scar.

2) After two major rugger games in one day we all went out to celebrate our victories. It was the semi final and final of a London schools championship. So I'd played 160 minutes of intense Rugby without injury, had a bit to drink and fell down the steps out of the pub and twisted my ankle badly.
snooodlysnoosnoosnoodle
About 6 weeks ago I was cooking some potatoes and I had turned the wrong ring on, I started to get annoyed that the water wasn't boiling and leant on the hot plate that I had turned on instead of the one I meant to. I didn't just put my hand on it, I leant on it... much body weight, blisters on every finger, across the top of the palm of my hand and one at the base of my thumb resulted. It's still peeling.
I spent 3 hours in A&E, was given 6 different kinds of painkiller and was still in pain, had to shower with a plastic bag on my hand for 3 weeks until the blistered healed enough, had my hand completely bandaged up for 3 days, mostly bandaged up for a week and well covered for another 2 weeks after that.
Worst of all it was my right hand and I had to have a scribe write my exams for me.

I have pictures from three weeks after I did it if anybody wants to see here
{Gothic Angel}
QUOTE (snoo @ Jun 4 2005, 01:29 PM)
I didn't just put my hand on it, I leant on it... much body weight, blisters on every finger, across the top of the palm of my hand and one at the base of my thumb resulted. It's still peeling.


sad.gif Ouch, snoo. Poor you. My sister dropped an iron on her foot, to similar effect.

My personal favourites:

1) You know guitarists swing the guitar from upside-down on their back, over their shoulder, to their front? Don't stand behind someone who does that. Mild concussions and black eyes result.

2) In gymnastics, standing on a beam, I was supposed to put my hand on the shoulders of the person in front of me on the floor, and flip over them to the floor. Unfortunately, my elbow gave way, we bashed heads pretty badly, he fell backwards and went down with the beam, I went forwards and landed on my elbow.

Injury count : One concussion, one fractured elbow, one dislocated shoulder, two sprained wrists and a lot of spectacular bruises.
arachnidoc17
I was running around inside a sleeping bag and ripped 3/4 of an inch of toenail, clean off.
oscarhilton
This morning I woke up and smashed my head on my light (that hangs over my bed) I fell back and was lying there for quite a while...
Fallen Element
I was drunk (still am) about an hour ago - I fell down the stairs and I suspect a broken toe! I'm too much of a woosie to phone my dad and ask him to rescue me! It is amusing at the moment but I suspect it may not be so amusing tomorrow! At least I don't have porce forcing me to walk two miles with a broken toe this time! [shakes fist at porce!] Yup, that's right, the last time I (porce) broke my toes I was made to walk two miles home on aforementioned broken toes! Sigh. I think I hear bed calling my name - and who am I to ignore bed?!



Fal - or "He of the sore toes!" xXx

P.s. Don't trust porce with your toes, alcohol or first-born children! Don't I say!
snooodlysnoosnoosnoodle
QUOTE (Fallen Element @ Jun 4 2005, 10:14 PM)
"He of the sore toes!" xXx
*


[spam]

/me hugs Fals toes

[/spam]
Fallen Element
QUOTE (snoo @ Jun 4 2005, 10:30 PM)
QUOTE (Fallen Element @ Jun 4 2005, 10:14 PM)
"He of the sore toes!" xXx
*


[spam]

/me hugs Fals toes

[/spam]
*



Just because it's spam it doesn't mean it's wrong! My toes have stopped bleeding so all is good in my world - specially since I still have some Southern Comfort. It comforts on so many levels!

Thankee for the hugs!


Fal xXx
elphaba2
I have quite a few scars I can't explain, including one under my lip that looks like a Nike swoosh. I've chosen to find it dashing, though I suspect it's the result of very nasty corporate advertising.

My favorite idiotic injury was hopping over a pointy object while on a 6 o'clock ferry to an island where the hospitals close at 3, tripping, and gashing open my shin. We wound up calling the local doctor away from his roast beef so he could stitch up my leg! smile.gif Hot-glueing my finger to a Styrafoam packing pellet was memorable as well, especially as I didn't notice until the glue had dried. Peeling it off was quite painful, and I still have a bit of fingerprint missing. Remind me never to commit a felony and run, as I'll be very easy to identify.
Erin
well..i once got injured from playing a drama practice game with a friend. i was at her house outside in the middle of the road. a car came, and i jumped back onto the grass (theres kind of a mini hill ditch-ish thing seperating the road and her yard) and stood there until the car passed. then i jumped down without my shoes on and my foot got sliced on an extremely dull rock. ^^

another one: I was at the skating place with a friend. she's pidgeon toed so she can't skate very well. she was about to fall, i grabbed her hand to catch her since im a awesome roller blader. she then sat down while i was halfway standing and she ended up pulling me down on my knees and my knee swelled up horribly..i couldnt walk for a day after that..and i had a castish thing on it.

Another one: i was at my friends house wrestling with her older brother who is a year older than me exactly. he's stronger and taller than me so he got on me and wrapped his legs round me so i couldnt move. i started struggling and accidentally hit the vacuum. it fell and landed on my forehead. ouch.


i'm good at hurting others too. once i was *once again* wrestling with my bestfriends older brother AND her AND her little tiny delicate sister and i accidentally knee'ed her sis in the stomach and bruised her ribs reallllllly badly. i felt so bad. cuz she started crying. but oh well..she's crazy bout me so what does it matter now lol

another injury i caused someone was onetime i was at my friends house *once again* and i sat on her older brother, he bit me on the ass (oww) cuz i sat on his face. so then i grabbed his ear with my mouth and accidentally bit down a bit too hard..ouchies..i gave him a nasty bruise-ish ear injury..
sjbbandgeek
I stabbed myself with a pencil in the 4th grade. Lead mark is still there.
Feyliya
QUOTE (Erin @ Jun 4 2005, 08:17 PM)
Another one: i was at my friends house wrestling with her older brother who is a year older than me exactly. he's stronger and taller than me so he got on me and wrapped his legs round me so i couldnt move. i started struggling and accidentally hit the vacuum. it fell and landed on my forehead. ouch.

another injury i caused someone was onetime i was at my friends house *once again* and i sat on her older brother, he bit me on the ass (oww) cuz i sat on his face.  so then i grabbed his ear with my mouth and accidentally bit down a bit too hard..ouchies..i gave him a nasty bruise-ish ear injury..
*


Am I just a really big perv, or does this sound pseudo-erotic to anyone else?

/spam
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